


Indomable

by Erick_nim



Category: Monsta X (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Crimes & Criminals, Dystopia, Fantasy, M/M, Magical Realism, Revolution, Self-Acceptance, Superpowers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:07:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 92,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23202220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erick_nim/pseuds/Erick_nim
Summary: When the mystical Energy randomly arose in a number of people all over the Earth the tension became so dangerous that it was decided to split the world into special closed Zones where life could keep going on without wars and any outside interference. It's just that the walls have ears now, cities are filled with Energy detectors and those "special" people disappeared inside the Citadel. Minhyuk was never interested in politics and tried to mind his own business until the sudden stop of a subway train made him meet the Clan.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Lee Minhyuk/Son Hyunwoo | Shownu
Comments: 34
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

Walls of a gloomy subway tunnel are quickly passing by outside the window of a half empty carriage. It shakes smoothly, monotonous wheel clattering makes you feel sleepy. It’s bright inside the carriage which is full of colorful advertisements and posters covering metal panels. Everything looks so familiar though none of it really sticks inside one’s head. Just a typical picture merged with a life stream long time ago. A well-known melody starts playing and a beautiful lifeless voice announces the next station and the side of an exit. A bunch of people gets up and heads towards the doors. Then another bunch of people goes inside on the station. 

The train softly pulls out and a new lap makes people sleepy again. However after a while their eyes open wide and frantically examine the carriage. Because of a sudden stop Minhyuk gets tossed aside and falls down on seats next to him which fortunately were empty. Someone screeches then gasps in dismay. The train keeps moving for a couple of seconds and comes to a complete stop. Minhyuk cautiously gets up rubbing his elbow that he landed on. 

Nobody’s panicking yet a little cloud of worry starts swirling inside. People are talking anxiously trying to figure out what happened. Their voices sound like the hum of bees. Finally, the speakers hiss and the driver announces that there’s nothing to worry about, just a little accident on the railroad ahead but it will take some time to fix it so the train will go back to the previous station and the passengers will have to find alternative routes. Minhyuk cusses. It’s gonna take him at least 30 minutes to get to the bus stop and then find the right building. He has to deliver the package in 15 minutes but looks like he’s just bound to listen to the customer’s nagging. 

Minhyuk maneuvers nimbly as he moves through the crowd getting hit by elbows and shoulders. The up escalator is so packed it’s impossible to move forward so he catches his breath while searching for the nearest bus stop on his phone. Of course the exit he needs is the furthest. When Minhyuk is running dozens of shops flash before his eyes. Shaking stands with phone cases, cheap jewelry stores, a delicious smelling bakery, souvenir shops, a shoe mart. Some walls are covered with billboards congratulating celebrities and cosmetic surgery advertisements. A brief photo album of a typical life in Seoul. Basically a typical life in most of the developed areas of the closed Zone “Korea”. 

When climbing up the outside stairs he stumbles and almost kisses the ground but manages to reach out a foot at the last moment and regain his balance. His arm automatically lifts up the box he has to deliver and something clinks inside. If he damages the box or breaks the goods he’s a goner. 

The bus comes quickly and becomes full to bursting even quicker. Minhyuk is pressed against the side of a seat so hard his pelvic bone hurts. The arms go numb, sweat dripping down his face. He really wants to remove wet hair from his forehead but it’s absolutely impossible in this situation. If he lets go of a handle people will drop him down right on the seating passengers. The ride feels incredibly long. When he at last is on the ground again his watch shows that he’s already 10 minutes late. 

Minhyuk sighs heavily and starts looking around. He rushes up the street consulting a map time to time. This district with mainly double-storey houses is uncommonly quiet comparing to the downtown full of skyscrapers and shopping malls. At least the road is empty he didn’t even meet anyone along the way. 

Minhyuk stops in front of gates with the number he’s been looking for. He evens out his breathing and fixes himself up. It takes him a minute to tidy his hair and make up an apology. He’s about to push the doorbell when he notices that the gate is open a little bit. People usually leave it like that if they want their packages to be delivered to the front door. Minhyuk shrugs his shoulders and enters the gate. 

The house looks pretty nice as expected from the upper middle class neighborhood. The lawn is perfectly manicured, concrete walkways lined with marble tiles are clean, not even a single leaf can be found. There is no door on the front side only wide windows and Minhyuk decides to go around the building thinking that the entrance must be in the courtyard. When he passes a corner he sees two guys in black hoodies facing the other way. Minhyuk walks towards them and opens his mouth to ask who he should give the package to but freezes in shock. 

His eyes focus on a body lying beside their feet. A small puddle of blood has already formed under the man’s head. The box falls on the ground with a loud rumble and the strangers turn round immediately. “Run,” flashes in his mind but he doesn’t even have time to move a limb – a gun is pointed directly at his face. 

“Wait,” the guy with somewhat reddish hair puts his hand on the other man’s shoulder. “He’s just a delivery guy.”  
“We can’t leave any witnesses.”   
“The Law says we can’t kill civilians.”  
“He saw our fucking faces,” the safety catch clicks. “You wanna die?”  
“Cool it, Changkyun, and watch your language. How many times do I have to tell you?” the redhead says harshly and looks at Minhyuk. “You. Get that box here. Don’t even think about doing something stupid you’ll get the bullet at the back of your head before you even make it back to the corner.” 

Minhyuk swallows nervously, his stomach feels like it’s been filled with rocks. If only that goddamn train got stuck in the tunnel for good. He’s trying to think of possible escape routes but the gun still pointed at him subtly implies that a retreat attempt would be nothing but a suicide. For now it looks like the best option is to obey and hope that they will let him go. There was a way to get free but Minhyuk wouldn’t like to even try it. It wouldn’t do him any good. 

His hands are shaking slightly when he picks up the smashed box and walks forward looking at the body of the house owner as if he was mesmerized. The dead man’s eyes were wide open as well as his mouth. On his wrinkled forehead there was a crimson hole. The lawn was sprinkled with blood drops. Minhyuk carefully passes them by. He surprisingly admits to himself that seeing a dead body wasn’t disgusting even more it was sort of interesting. Something that used to walk and speak will never be able to do that again. That’s confusing and scary but he still can’t take his eyes off the corpse. He hands the box over to the redhead and keeps staring at the body from a smaller distance this time. 

“Why did you kill him?” the question slips out his mouth on its own.   
“I’d stay quiet if I were you,” Changkyun warns him. 

A sharp pocket knife opens the box. Another box is found inside but it’s rather flat and is covered with red fabric that has white lily flowers on it. The redhead opens the box and frowns checking the contents with a puzzled expression. 

“What’s in there?” 

He throws away the lid and shows a set of shining stainless steel forks, spoons and knives lying on a velvet. Changkyun’s hand grubs them and throws on the ground. Then he tears off the fabric but there’s nothing except for the glue stains. 

“What the fuck? A local drug lord orders himself a set of cutlery on the internet? Who’s the vendor?” he asks Minhyuk.   
“I don’t know. I just pick up the packages with addresses written on them in the office.”  
“Two hundred thousand won for a couple of metal sticks? Wish I lived like that,” the redhead crumples the receipt and kicks the corpse so hard it awkwardly moves to the side. “Spoiled bastard.”   
“So he was a drug lord?” Minhyuk asks.  
“Have you already accepted the fact that you’re gonna get shot and that’s why you ask questions so enthusiastically or are you just a piece of a dumb fuck?” Changkyun pokes his temple with a gun suppressor and raises his eyebrows; such a calm reaction to one’s life being threaten and an uncontrollable chattiness were really uncommon.   
“Sorry, people always say that I talk too much.” 

Minhyuk immediately looks down at his sneakers afraid that he might say something more than he needs to once again. When he is really stressed his brain usually just turns off and the words come out like a burst water main. The strangers keep examining the box when suddenly footsteps and voices can be heard from the gate. 

“Fuck, leg it!” 

They get up in a hurry and run to the front door opening it hastily. The redhead turns round:

“What are you waiting for? Go hide your ass if you still need your life!”

Minhyuk whose day gone completely wrong because of that crazy sequence of bizarre events can’t process what he’s supposed to do so he’s just standing there looking absolutely blank. Hasn’t he just been rescued from the murderers? The ground near his right foot gets pierced with a bullet that came from the back. The sound of that shot made his head shrink into the shoulders automatically. 

“Get in the house! Now!”

At that point he doesn’t need to be told twice. Minhyuk jumps over the body and rushes into the house almost flying. He hurriedly looks around and sees two black hoodies disappearing in different parts of the building. There’s plenty of space yet just a few pieces of furniture, a group of gangsters was chasing him and basically he was screwed. The delivery guy is about to enter the kitchen but then he realizes that it would be too obvious not to mention that cupboards were filled with stuff. Hearing the approaching voices he decides to go upstairs.

A bathroom wasn’t an option there was nowhere to hide. He turns a corner and rushes to the very last door. The room turned out to be a bedroom however it looked like nobody used it anymore. It was filled with piles of junk. Minhyuk tries to figure out how to use it to his advantage but because of the adrenaline it was hard to gather his thoughts. There was only a natural instinct flickering inside his head like an alarm that went off – to get the hell out of here. In the end, he hides behind a thick folding screen right next to the window facing the backyard. 

A bunch of people enters the house. One of them commands to split and search the building roof to basement. When asked if they should catch them alive he replies negatively. Minhyuk’s heart misses a beat. He won’t even have time to explain and will get shot for literally nothing. He thinks that he should’ve quit that fucking delivery job long time ago and become a waiter or a loader instead of wandering around god only knows where. He’s been in bad neighborhoods and he’s been in bad situations but his life has never been threatened twice in ten minutes. 

Minhyuk looks out the window and calculates the distance. Five metes wouldn’t kill him of course but these concrete walkways wouldn’t benefit him either since the sound of landing will tell everyone about his location. 

He jumps up in terror when suddenly hears gunfire mixed with screaming from the first floor. Neighbors must have already called the police when they heard the first shot that almost got him, therefore, help is on the way. He just needs to stay quiet and hold on until the cops arrive praying that nobody finds him. 

The scuffle downstairs dies out as unexpectedly as it started. Minhyuk strains his ears trying to detect any noise besides his pounding heart. About a minute later he hears hurried footsteps coming from the stairs and the following scream “There he is!” To his horror, the bedroom door opens and slams almost in a blink of an eye. 

Minhyuk presses his back flat against the wall. Someone’s heavily breathing. In a second another person starts banging on the door trying to break it open. There was no lock nor latch so one had to hold down the door with their weight. Despite the fear, Minhyuk leans forward a little and peeks through a hole between the panels of the folding screen. He sees Changkyun who’s been holding the door with all his strength but eventually he got pushed back. He moves backwards to the bed that was buried with stuff when a tall man breaks into the room with his gun drawn. 

“Had fun playing mafia you little shitbag?”

The man aims straight for his forehead. Unarmed Changkyun stubbornly clenches his jaws not showing even an atom of fear. Only a little drop of sweat sliding down his temple and a wild look in his eyes gave it away. Minhyuk couldn’t see the gangster’s face but he was obviously enjoying the situation. 

“So what should I do with you, kid? Should I cut your Achilles tendons and leave you in a forest to have fun with some cute hungry animals? Or should I tie you up in our basement and pour boiling water over you? What do you think?”

The way he was talking about it made chills run up Minhyuk’s back. He had no clue whatsoever about what happened between them and who the hell they were but such violence got him in shock. Changkyun remained silent which made the gangster laugh with a strange slurping noise. After that he kept on suggesting even more cruel options. Minhyuk was staring at Changkyun who suddenly looked rather small comparing to the huge man with disproportional shoulders in front of him and something inside him changed. Yes, both of them were murderers but Changkyun didn’t have that absolutely inhumane sadist energy that was floating around the gangster. Was it an intuition? A pity? Minhyuk didn’t know but he couldn’t just stand there and watch an unarmed boy getting killed. 

Minhyuk looks around but there was nothing that could be used as a weapon. Just some rolls of paper, old paintings and a towel, not even a pair of scissors. He raises his eyes and sees a massive thick-walled glass in an iron holder on a windowsill. It was at least fifty years old. Minhyuk picks the glass up and as expected it is pretty heavy. At this moment the sarcastic monologue stops. 

“Or should I just shoot you down like a dog?” 

A safety catch clicks. Minhyuk checks the situation and quietly comes out of the folding screen. Changkyun notices him but immediately looks back at the smirking gangster to make sure Minhyuk won’t get caught. They can’t let this bastard suspect a thing. 

“Eyes started shifting, huh? You’re brave enough to kill our guys but once you get cornered you’re pissing yourself like a fucking toddler?”  
“Can’t bear looking at your ugly-ass face anymore,” he smirks. “I bet people throw up like erupted fucking volcanos when they see that piece of crap. Have you ever looked in the mirror? Or do they just shatter the second you come up?”  
“Little fucker. My face’s gonna be the last thing you see in your fucking…”

He never finished the sentence. Minhyuk who’s been taking aim while Changkyun tried to buy him some time clenches his teeth, inhales through the nose, swings and in a one precise movement throws the glass right at the gangster’s head. Changkyun dodges a delayed bullet, snatches the gun out of the gangster’s hand and without any hesitation shoots him in the face. Minhyuk twitches and winces when the body falls down with a thumping sound. This scene wasn’t pleasant at all. 

“Get back quick.” 

Changkyun grabs his elbow and pushes him behind the folding screen so hard his shoulder hits the windowsill. The boy sits next to him and reloads the pistol skillfully. 

“Don’t make a damn sound you understand me?” 

He moves closer to the hole between the panels and they freeze. Everything was quiet and calm if only someone could describe the atmosphere in a house full of dead bodies calm. Minhyuk who was pushed into the corner had nothing to do but stare at the stranger who he got linked with very intimately. What can make you even closer than murder does? Changkyun has black hair that became kinda tousled because of all the mess he’s been through. Little acne scars can be seen on his tan cheeks. He barely even blinked while watching the door. His hands hold the gun firmly. 

Finally there are muted footsteps in the corridor. Another gangster probably draws attention to an open door right away and cautiously approaches to it noticing a corpse lying on the floor. Minhyuk holds his breath. The man kick-opens the door which crashes into the wall. After making sure the right side of the room is clear he squats and takes a little peek inside. Nothing seems suspicious so he stands up and proceeds to make one step into the room getting shot instantly. Changkyun acts without delay. 

“How many shots were there before I came?” 

Minhyuk shrugs. He was a little busy worrying about his life instead of counting the gunshots. Changkyun clicks tongue in annoyance and fixes his eyes on a dirt stain on the floor trying to rewind the last minutes in his mind. His eyebrows furrowed, lips move silently as his fingers count the bullets left in a magazine on his belt hidden under the hoodie. After a while he nods to himself and stealthily goes to the door. He takes a quick glance outside, leans against the wall and has the gun drawn just in case. 

“Kihyun!” his low voice sounds rather stentorian when he yells. “Kihyun, the second floor is clear!” 

Instead of an answer they hear footsteps coming from the stairs. First stair, second stair, third stair, gunshot. 

“So is the first floor.” 

Minhyuk still hiding behind the folding screen notices a glimpse of relief on Changkyun’s face when he hears a familiar voice. Alive. 

“We have to get out of here,” Kihyun enters the room. “I texted Mingyu, he and the cops are almost here he’ll send all the documents after they search this place.”   
“Hey you, White Head, come out,” Changkyun looks at the folding screen and Minhyuk makes some unsure steps towards them.   
“Sorry but it looks like there’s no choice,” Kihyun points a gun at him. “You’ve seen too much”. 

Minhyuk feels like his heart slips down a butcher hook and bounces a couple times on the dirty floor with a disgusting splashing sound. He made the wrong choice once again when he decided not to jump off the window. Cause of death: left home a little bit late and got stuck in a subway tunnel. This is definitely not how he imagined dying especially the timing. Blood in his veins reminds of ice cubes. 

“No, that won’t do,” Changkyun puts down Kihyun’s hand. “Let him live.”  
“You were the one who wanted to kill him in the first place,” confused, he raises his eyebrows. “And we could actually let him go that time but now he saw us killing these bastards and he took a great look at our faces.”  
“He saved my life,” Changkyun looks him in the eyes. “The Law that you like so fucking much states that all the debts have to be worked off.” 

Extremely annoyed Kihyun deeply inhales through the nose. He turns to Minhyuk and stares at him, puzzled, trying to figure out what is the right thing to do in this situation. 

“So what are you suggesting? We can’t just leave him like that since he knows so much.”   
“I’m not gonna say anything to anyone I swear,” Minhyuk immediately starts talking nineteen to the dozen. “You can have my address, my phone number, my ID card information whatever else you want as a guarantee. If something comes out then come to my place and shoot me all you want like no problem. But I’m really good at keeping secrets.”  
“Trust me, it won’t make me sleep much sounder,” Kihyun frowns.   
“Let’s just leave this decision to Shownu,” suggests Changkyun. “We’ll take this guy to the Lair, explain what happened. I mean the fuck are WE supposed to do? He’s the leader he sets the laws anyway.”   
“Language, Changkyun,” Kihyun swings his palm shaking head disapprovingly and then he glances at Minhyuk who was chewing his cheek from the inside again. “Okay, you’re coming with us. And now let’s get out of here.”


	2. Chapter 2

When plain high-rises, glass-made business centers and massive shopping malls almost completely covered in advertisements got replaced by an endless highway and a dull forest outside the window Minhyuk’s tightened nerves started trembling. He didn’t want to risk anything so he clenched his teeth in order to prevent his irrelevant comments and questions from coming out but no one said he couldn’t look through the window. 

They exited the house through the back door and jumped over the fence without any problem. However before they did that Changkyun started grumbling about how he and Kihyun have to get the “useless piece of shit” up the fence but with a little running start Minhyuk skillfully grabbed onto the top of that concrete wall and easily hopped over it. Athletics lessons back in school turned out to be kinda useful. Frankly, there was a couple of moments in Minhyuk’s life when the ability to overcome obstacles and to run fast was almost vital. 

They passed by two streets and after making sure nobody followed them got in the car that was parked in front of an old godforsaken shop. Kihyun was driving and Changkyun lolled upon a seat next to him. He was looking through his phone with a bored face. After a while the car left Seoul and headed towards Suwon but took a turn to one of the narrow road branches before reaching a police controlled checkpoint. 

Usually such a monotonous scenery of soil damaged by people would be really boring but Minhyuk stared at every detail greedily. He didn’t know if he’d ever be able to see all of that again. Sorrow fell upon his heart like a wave of slurping dirt. He should’ve got out of the city when he had the chance. He should’ve gone up to the mountains to have some rest from people. He should’ve traveled to another city at least once and see if it’s different. He should’ve bought the biggest food set for dinner yesterday instead of saving every dime. He should have done a lot of things. 

Minhyuk glances at the door. These automatic locks could be opened from the inside too. Just open the door as fast as possible, jump out the car and hide in a forest. But the thing is they were driving 120 kilometers per hour and it’d be a little difficult to run away with your legs, arms and ribs broken. Especially when being shot at from behind. 

When they drive by an unknown settlement and slow down Minhyuk thinks about that idea again. His eyes keep shifting from the door to the road and back, his hand twitches towards the handle a couple of times but stops at the very last moment. Ten minutes later the car drives into a desolate countryside and later it stops in front of a high metal gate, brick wall encircling the territory around the perimeter. Minhyuk looks up and sees live wires – it was impossible to jump over this fence and not get fried. He successfully missed all the escape opportunities. 

Changkyun sighs heavily and unwillingly gets out not even bothering to close the door. He opens an electric pad shining in blue and pushes a button. A moment later they hear a voice.

“Who?”  
“Give you one guess.”  
“What’s the password?”  
“Open the goddamn gate, I’m dog-tired.”  
“Then what’s the magic word?”  
“Fuck you.”

The unknown guy chuckles.  
“You little brat,” says the voice still laughing and then the gate starts opening. 

Changkyun gets back in and the car keeps on moving. The first thing that catches the eye is a huge wooden building that is obviously old but it looks pretty sturdy. Because of dark-brown almost black boards the house stands out really distinctly against the background of the sky resembling a pile of dirty snow. Standard two floors, a bunch of windows and a small extension at the top probably used as an attic. 

A courtyard was absolutely empty: no walkways, no benches, no flowers, no people. Just withered grass that looked like hay and tire tracks leading to a garage with chipped paint. When they stop in front of it Kihyun honks three times but nothing happens.

“He’s wearing his goddamn headphones again.” 

Kihyun honks once more pressing his palm against the wheel for a couple of seconds and then gets out of the car mumbling “Shit”. He bangs his fist against the garage door making it shake. Flakes of paint and rust fall down and he brushes them off the hoodie. Finally, almost half a minute later a metal sheet starts sliding up with a loud buzz. There’s a guy in a dark-blue working overall, its half ripped breast pocket dangling down. Huge round headphones are removed to his neck but the loud music still could be heard even from the car. 

“How many times did I tell you not to wear this crap when someone’s supposed to return from a mission?”  
“Ah, don’t be a nag,” the guy waves away his hand stained with fuel oil. “You brought some food?”  
“Everything is in the trunk. Go park the car and take bags home, I’ll sort it later.”  
“Why me? Changkyun can do that.”  
“He’s busy.”  
“And I’m laying on a deck chair drinking cocktails all day long huh?”  
“Stop whining, Jooheon, we have to meet Shownu right now.”  
“What is it this time?”

Changkyun tells Minhyuk to get out. He has nothing to do but obey. When Jooheon sees him and frowns his eyes turn into curved lines, eyebrows rising. 

“Who’s that?”  
“An unpredictable circumstance,” grumbled Kihyun giving the subject of discussion a dismissive look. 

Minhyuk has no clue how he should behave so he uncertainly nods to Jooheon who’s been eyeballing him and peers at the inside of a garage. Contrary to what one might expect everything was neat, no things scattered all over the floor, instruments were kept in lined up plastic crates. On a long metal table top there were multi-leveled shelves filled with cables, wires, cable ties and sandpaper sheets that were bound with rubber bands. In the corner under a bright lamp there was a stack of papers and a cup with pencils. On hooks that were sticking out of the wall there were different rulers, ropes and a little box filled with thumb tacks. Looks like this place was used for drawing blueprints. 

“White Head,” Changkyun who finished discussing local matters calls Minhyuk that stretched his neck to take a better look at a knife rack above a buzz saw. “Enough staring let’s go.”  
“Don’t forget about the bags,” Kihyun says to Jooheon before they head towards the front door. 

Dead grass under their feet crunches and clings to shoelaces. Sullen Minhyuk trudges behind his wardens who didn’t even think about checking whether he was following them or not. They kept holding guns inside pockets to suppress any possible escape attempt when they were in Seoul but now they are walking at ease since they know for sure that there’s no need for it. They were on their territory where Minhyuk had no chance of running away alive. When you are in a locked cage with wolves you should avoid making sudden movements. 

The door was open. Heavy and solid, it smoothly turned on the well-oiled hinges letting them enter the house. And if the outside of it looked rather shabby then the inside clearly underwent a complete renovation. The living room had white walls decorated with random wooden boards in color dark chocolate. It smelled like firewood with a little hint of floor polish. To the right of the door there was a pillar with a mechanism that controlled the gate. In the middle of the room there was a beige couch. A balled-up blanket was tossed into its corner. A turned off TV was placed in front of it. Right between them there was a coffee table crowded with cups. A half-empty bottle of red wine really stood out in this surrounding. 

“You’re drinking again,” grunts Kihyun when they go inside. 

Minhyuk looks around and squints to see if there was someone on the other side of the corridor but nobody could be found so he can’t understand who he’s been talking to. 

“You’re grumbling again.”

A sly voice comes from above and Minhyuk lifts his head. He sees a guy in a buggy burgundy sweater sitting on one of the numerous beams under the ceiling. His hair was white just like Minhyuk’s and his lips were curved in a smirk. He was flipping a silver dagger around in his hands. 

“We’re having a guest and I know nothing about it? What an impropriety.”  
“Nobody knew about it.”  
“So what’s gonna happen to our dear guest then?” the guy extends the last word almost singing, his head tilted cunningly. 

Minhyuk feels like he was a doe thrown into that proverbial wolf cage. And one of the predators was obviously enjoying his helpless situation. 

“No fucking idea,” Changkyun shrugs and eventually gets hit in the back of his head.  
“Quit talking like an ignorant thug.” 

Minhyuk’s mind was boiling because of this growing pile of contradictions. These guys are murderers. For them shooting someone wasn’t a big deal and they’d step over dead bodies like they’d step over garbage bags. Then why is Kihyun so improperly proper? And that conversation in front of the garage. Judging from what people know about mafia and bandits they are supposed to talk about weapons, shady deeds, assassinations, drugs, gangs, robberies literally anything but groceries. And do murderers’ lairs always look like guest houses somewhere in Switzerland mountains? Where are those typical dark dirty rooms or high-tech bunkers? What the hell is going on, all this situation feels more like a prolonged broken dream. The inconsistency between certain beliefs about assassins and these guys bothered Minhyuk almost as much as the fact that his life was balancing on the edge. 

“Keep him company. We have to talk to Shownu.”  
“My pleasure.”  
Kihyun and Changkyun disappear in a hallway. Perplexed Minhyuk just stands there not knowing what to do. When he makes a step forward his new warden jumps off a beam in a graceful backflip and lands right in front of him. 

“What’s your name?”  
“Minhyuk.”  
“I’m Wonho,” he extends a hand and his appearance suddenly becomes friendly. “Are you a member of some Clan?”  
“Clan? No, I don’t think so,” Minhyuk’s forehead furrowed, he doesn’t have any clue what this guy is talking about.  
“An informant? A spy? A vendor?” 

Another negative response. 

“They called me a civilian.”  
“So you’re just a normal civilian?” 

Wonho’s tone is calm, his voice is appealing, but his eyes are perceptively examining Minhyuk’s reactions. He analyzes, collects information, estimates the level of danger. If he gets lied to he will sense it and he will suck out the truth no matter what. For the sake of his safety, for the sake of the Clan’s safety. Actually, to him it’s not so much an obligation as a fascinating game in which he himself places pieces on a board and sets the rules. That’s why he immediately moves on to another phase. 

“Let’s sit down, they’re not gonna come back soon anyway. Would you like some wine? Bordeaux, great stuff, man, I’m telling you I know a thing or two about wines,” Wonho takes out two tall wine glasses from a cupboard underneath the TV, pours wine, holds out a glass to Minhyuk who sat down on a couch and comfortably takes a seat next to him. “So, how did a normal civilian manage to make it all the way to our leader?”  
“The subway train got stuck.”  
“That’s an intriguing beginning.”  
“I got fifteen minutes late with a delivery. Went into the courtyard and saw them standing next to that dead man.” 

The spoken words sound so unrealistic to Minhyuk that he just can’t hold back the chuckle and takes a few sips. Everything that happened seems like his sick fantasy or a way too realistic movie. As if he left the cinema but his mind has still been living in the universe created by a screenwriter. As if none of it happened to him. As if his life wasn’t threatened. As if right now his fate hasn’t been hanging in the balance somewhere inside the house. His nerves were so strained they partially stopped working and he didn’t really care anymore. He couldn’t stop smiling inanely, his self-control was fading away because of the stress. 

“So you’re a witness,” Wonho starts to understand the situation. “Then why didn’t they just shoot you back there?” 

Rising his eyebrows is the only thing Minhyuk can do in a response to such question that seemed to sound pretty normal to Wonho. And then he loses it. His natural talkativeness gets out taking advantage of the fact that nobody is against it this time. He retells his day in details while actively gesturing and showing all the emotions with his face. After venting without any restrictions whatsoever even breathing feels easier. He didn’t care at all that he was opening up to a murderer. Minhyuk just wanted to let this mixed up mess of events and emotions out. 

When he’s done Wonho, satisfied that he got so much information, leans back on the couch and thoughtfully scratches his temple with the edge of the dagger. His other hand still holding a glass of wine even too elegantly and kinda out of place. 

“Well, what can I say? Your situation sucks that’s for sure. There’s not so many options available. To be fair, there’s none. I don’t have anything against you but since you’re a witness giving you a painless death would be the best decision. Theoretically.” 

Minhyuk doesn’t even get shocked because of how casual this violence was anymore. He understands what Wonho means. People are supposed to get rid of problems and their problem was him. However it didn’t change the fact that he still wanted to live and he wasn’t resigned to his fate. There has to be another way. 

“It depends on Shownu,” Wonho shrugs his shoulders. “Whatever he decides it’s gonna be that way. He has the last word around here.”

Matching the end of the conversation Kihyun comes back in a moment. Tired, he’s shuffling down the hallway so they hear him from far. 

“You look kinda shitty,” comments Wonho. 

Kihyun gives him a glance that clearly says “Go try to run around working all that mess out like I do and I’d look at you”. Then he turns to frozen Minhyuk. 

“Shownu wants to talk to you in person.”

The house turned out to be much bigger than it looked from the outside. From a long hallway one could see the stairs to the second floor, a half-rounded arch that was leading to the kitchen and some closed doors. Just like the living room the floor was repaired skillfully – not even a quietest squeak could be heard. The walls were empty. Apparently no one cared much about the coziness, only practicality and cleanliness. When passing by the kitchen Minhyuk saw Changkyun’s back. He was digging through the bags that probably were brought there by Jooheon from another entrance. 

Kihyun didn’t say a word. As someone who was used to a precise order and an undeniable method of following the Laws that they set he got off his balance. This whole situation really does bother him as all hell. If someone like Changkyun would finish the mission and forget about it right after then Kihyun would always think about the consequences, he would calculate down the repercussion of everything they did. He, as the right hand of the leader, had a huge responsibility that wouldn’t let go off him even for a second. 

They enter the very last door. It leads to a bright room with a long oval table that was surrounded by chairs with high backs upholstered in creamy silk embroidered with tiny flowers. In the opposite wall there was another door but it was much more thick and had a code panel. Kihyun enters a password then turns round and opens the door for Minhyuk to come in. The door immediately closes behind the delivery guy’s back. He is one-on-one with his judge now. 

Black hair is slicked back with gel so precisely that not even a single hair sticks out even a little bit. Contemptuous eyes are half-shut on his rugged face with a gnarly scar running down from ear to chin. A triangle napkin is sticking out from a pocket of a perfectly pressed suit. A shimmering revolver is placed on a huge oak table right next to clenched hands with massive rings on some fingers. That’s how Minhyuk imagined a gang leader to look like. 

“Hello. Take a seat.” 

A polite tone. Shownu’s voice was low, maybe a little bit husky but not rough. He didn’t give an order, he asked. And Minhyuk obediently sits down on a beige arm-chair in front of a tidy desk with a switched on lamp on it. 

“You’re having a tough day, aren’t you?”

Minhyuk can’t help but chuckle nervously. 

“Hell of a day, yeah.”  
“First time seeing dead people?”  
“Not really,” Minhyuk responds with a little delay and sees a question in Shownu’s calm eyes so he explains. “When I was living in an orphanage one boy hanged himself in a stairwell between the floors. The stairs area was cordoned off but you still could see his legs slightly swinging. Side to side like a pendulum.” 

Shownu was listening attentively. It’s hard to tell what he was thinking about. He was sitting in a padded office chair, hands resting on his abdomen. Much younger than Minhyuk thought he would be and actually much more appealing. An ordinary man that wouldn’t make you feel any sort of discomfort if you met him on a street. He wasn’t terrifying and he didn’t make you feel scared. The only thing he makes you feel is respect since he looks more like a director of a company rather than a gang leader. 

He had dark skin, his buzz cut a little messy. His face features weren’t repulsive, even more they were really fine to look at. Shownu was wearing a black shirt, no accessories. The room design was pretty simple, nothing pretentious. There were stacks of paper and a big dark-blue mug with a steam swirling above on his desk. 

“An orphanage? Where are your parents?”  
“That’s a difficult question,” Minhyuk’s lips curled. 

Leader looks into his eyes and sees bitterness and, to some extent, anger, frustration, even grudge. It was a familiar look of a beaten animal. He’s seen it several times. 

“Something bad happened?”  
“Let’s say that they left for work when I was a few weeks old and never returned.” 

The room had no windows so the only source of light was a bright desk lamp that only reached the desk area including people sitting around. Everything else was almost pitch-dark. Only some indistinct contours could be seen when you didn’t focus on them. 

“I think you know exactly that your situation is very difficult,” Shownu decides to move to the main issue and speaks slowly but clearly, highlighting the main points. “Accidently seeing a dead body might be considered acceptable. Watching our guys work is a different case but in a carefully handled way it might be solved. But getting caught on a CCTV from the next house and being added to the police suspect list is the worst possible scenario for you in particular.” 

Minhyuk’s eyes widen in shock. The lamp light reflection is glistening inside them. His jaw moves with no sound when he realizes the scale of what happened. 

“Police suspects me? Are you sure?”  
“We have our verifiable sources,” Shownu sits up properly, his hands are placed on the desk in a businesslike manner, his flat voice slightly changes exuding power. “If we let you go you’ll give us away whether you want it or not. Even if you just mention “a couple of unknown murderers” the right people will find you and get all the information from you. As long as you’re alive we’re in danger. I can’t risk my Clan like that.” 

Stunned, Minhyuk keeps staring at him for a while and lowers his head. This is the end. He, without knowing it, was dragged into the world where life can be used as currency. The only good witness is a dead witness. He can’t even go back anymore. Back in Seoul there is police and the rest of that half-killed gang that thinks he’s one of the murderers. Here – the Clan that needs to get rid of the problem. It’s similar to being stuck on a skyscraper rooftop that doesn’t have a hatch. Just a hundreds of meters high concrete surface surrounded by emptiness. The only way out is a step into the abyss and onto the pavement. 

Thoughts about an escape left his mind long time ago. He has missed the chance back in the car already. Has the air always been so nice to breathe in? Has the weight of a hoodie always been so apparent? Have the unique lines on his palms always been so fascinating to look at? 

“I…” Minhyuk bites his tongue. “Is it gonna be painful?”

Shownu’s eyes were cold. Or soft. Or gloating. Or sympathetic. Who the hell could figure it out in these dim lights? Either way, Shownu doesn’t answer and asks a question instead. 

“You wanna call somebody?”

Minhyuk responds after a little pause.

“I don’t have anyone.”

His own words suddenly make him feel like laughing again. He smiles and instantly bites his lower lip realizing that his teeth started chattering. He gets choked up, eyes lose focus. He lost everything. He lost everything and didn’t find anything after that. He eked out a pointless existence, strangling to death all his wishes and desires and the only thing that he achieved is an empty room in an old house where nobody’s waiting for him. Nobody will even notice that he’s gone because he always built the highest barriers between himself and other people. He was too scared of his true nature. 

After some time frozen figures in the room start moving. Shownu lowers his arm and the sound of an opening drawer can be heard. Minhyuk’s lungs become heavy as if they got filled with bricks. He struggles to exhale and intensely stares at Shownu’s elbow where a rolled up sleeve ended and a vein is seen. Turns out there’s so many details. Why didn’t he notice them before? Minhyuk’s fingers start shaking. He’s ready to get shot in the head. 

Something clicks. Minhyuk twitches and gulps. Meanwhile Shownu looks into the drawer.

“Kihyun, come in.”

Not a gun. Just an intercom connected to the next room. His life has been extended indefinitely. His feet are so cold he doesn’t really feel them. 

Kihyun enters almost immediately. He comes inside and stops at Minhyuk’s right. He is tensed and waits for the orders thinking about all the things that might happen. 

“Get everything ready please.” 

Kihyun sighs wearily. Everything was going just fine and in accordance with the plan in the morning. There was nothing that could’ve warned him of the coming troubles that at the first sight look absolutely unworthy of his attention but in reality they have serious consequences. Besides, he was in charge of analyzing such situations and he had no room for mistakes. 

“You sure?”  
“Yes. It’s best for everyone.”  
“Then what’s with his identity?” Kihyun roughly nods towards Minhyuk who didn’t move at all trying to guess what’s going to happen to him.  
“I’ll deal with Seungcheol. His guys will help us wipe out all of the data.” 

Silence. For a few moments the three of them freeze but each has absolutely different emotions and looks at everything from their own angle. Kihyun is worried and is still a little bit irritated. A terrifying confusion stimulated by awaiting of the inevitable is floating inside Minhyuk. Only Shownu is calm and is in agreement with his decision. He’s sure that the situation is under his control. 

“Kihyun?” he calls sensing the doubt inside the person that was standing in the shadow of the lamp. “You’ve got a lot of responsibilities besides that. If you want I’ll ask Hyungwon to handle it.” 

His words bring the man to his senses.

“No, it’s fine, I got you.” 

He turns around and gives Minhyuk an appraising look before leaving. Minhyuk interlocks his ice-cold fingers and stares at Shownu searchingly. He just wants everything to be over fast. Waiting is even more horrifying than something that will last no longer than a second. Waiting freezes his insides, covers his organs with a stinging layer of ice, makes the choking up feeling in his throat worse. 

“A couple years ago Kihyun and I have created the Clan X,” finally says the leader. “To keep the peace I developed the Laws. One of them states that all the debts have to be worked off. You saved Changkyun’s life. I can’t just ignore that so I will save your life in gratitude.” 

Events go one after another so fast Minhyuk has no power left to express emotions. He feels like he’s been getting thrown back and forth into boiling water and then into a pile of snow. He can only breathe in and breathe out loudly and look at Shownu with his eyes still shimmering because of that hysteria that choked him up a while ago. 

“I was told you’re in pretty good shape. Ever shot a gun before?”  
“Only a bow,” Minhyuk clears his throat trying to get rid of the rasp. “I was in the archery group and won a couple of competitions.”

To his surprise, Shownu raises his eyebrows and a corner of his mouth moves just a little bit up in almost unnoticeable smile. It was so slight and fast that if Minhyuk blinked he would’ve missed it. But he didn’t and put it into his memory. 

“Like I said, as long as you’re alive we’re in danger. Then the only option I can offer besides elimination is joining us.”

The shock was so strong that exhausted Minhyuk suddenly regained some power to express it. His eyes and mouth opened wide, the brain couldn’t load so much information well. 

“What do you mean joining you? What are you talking about?”  
“Extra people will come in handy. Especially when they got nowhere else to go. And when they got something against the Government.” 

For the last words Shownu lowers his voice emphasizing them. He's looking at Minhyuk seriously letting him know that he has no doubt and is absolutely sure that it relates to Minhyuk directly. His gaze becomes strong and powerful, the light sharpens his features so that they look slightly intimidating. Now he really looks like a gang boss. The leader who’s been chosen out of respect for his power and out of recognition of his authority. He doesn’t even consider a negative answer or a compromise because he has already made the decision which means it is absolute. 

“Write down your address and give me the keys I’ll go get your stuff. You cannot leave the Lair unaccompanied. Kihyun will show you your room and tomorrow he will tell you everything you need to know.”  
“What’s your connection to the Government?”  
“It’s the same as yours.” 

Shownu makes it clear that the conversation is over. Minhyuk keeps biting his cheek from the inside and glances at papers laying on the desk. Looks like Shownu knows something about him.


	3. Chapter 3

It’s getting dark outside. The outlines of the room gradually become vague but Minhyuk doesn’t want to turn on the light. His new place isn’t big, three by three meters, yet it’s more than enough. He has lived in much worse conditions. If he fills the space with his personal stuff that he is used to seeing everyday it will be rather comfortable. As far as possible in a house where murderers live. 

“Am I gonna be like them?”

Minhyuk rolls onto his back. A fresh sheet smells like wildflowers. The moment he stepped into the room the door behind him was locked up. It’s gonna be this way for some time until they are sure he can be trusted. Until they understand what he is capable of if he even is capable of something at all. “Really, what am I capable of besides surviving?” 

He doesn’t feel like sleeping. It’s been three hours between Shownu’s departure and arrival but he didn’t fall asleep even for a minute. Minhyuk was waiting for his stuff to get brought in but nobody approached his door. Only a couple minutes later the house suddenly came to life. Footsteps are heard from upstairs. Minhyuk’s room was on the second floor which means that somebody used an attic as their bedroom. 

Minhyuk comes to the door and listens. He hears steps on the stairs that was getting farther away and some indistinct voices from downstairs however they get more and more quiet until they disappear completely. If Minhyuk’s right then everybody gathered in Shownu’s office. And looks like he’s gonna be the hot topic. 

Minhyuk goes back to his bed. He has to wait for god knows what again. He can’t even look through his phone they took it away back in the car. In the room there was a bed, a desk in front of the window, a chair and an old empty wardrobe that seems to be standing here for more than a century. The wind outside is howling. The perimeter is surrounded by a forest and its unfamiliar rustling sound has already turned into white noise that was bringing sadness. Unpleasant cold runs down his body stopping somewhere between the ribs. New noises and unusual smells were everywhere around him. Even the air felt different. The nice aroma of dry grass mixes with something bitter and burning. Minhyuk thinks that this is what fired gunpowder smells like. 

Finally, there are some movements downstairs. He hears echoes of conversations and dishes clacking which suddenly get overlapped by a continuous thumping noise. It gets closer and suddenly a key is slipped into the lock of his door. Minhyuk sits down on his bed. 

“Here’s your stuff.”

Shownu rolls in an unknown suitcase that probably belonged to him and turns on the light. Minhyuk squints and stays like that for some time while getting used to the brightness. He doesn’t own much, just a couple sets of clothes, some books along with notebooks, a toothbrush and a wide towel that he bought not so long ago. When he opens the suitcase he sees a shabby wallet that was actually hidden under the mattress and had all his savings inside. Minhyuk doesn’t ask Shownu how he found it and Shownu doesn’t comment it either. 

“What about my documents?”  
“I keep all the documents,” the leader leans on a doorway. “Grab you underwear and something to wear I’ll walk you to the bathroom.”  
“It’s not that something can still make me feel embarrassed after the orphanage but you’re not gonna just stand there and watch me wash myself, are you?” Minhyuk looks serious at first but then he adds. “It’s better to shower together then cause when someone’s just watching another person put on a body wash that can be considered as stalking.” 

He regrets his words a moment later realizing he might get an earful for the chattiness that no one asked for. He’s not talking to a roommate after all. Minhyuk holding a t-shirt freezes in a tense silence. Contrary to the expectations, Shownu exhales through his nose and his mouth curves a little. 

“If you can still joke then you’re doing fine.” 

He waits for Minhyuk to get everything he needs and then goes out of the room disappearing behind the turn. Ex-delivery guy carefully follows. When passing by the stairs he hears Wonho’s gusty laughter coming from the kitchen. A beam of light from downstairs splits the ceiling into uneven stripes. Shownu opens the bathroom door, lets Minhyuk come in and says that he’ll be waiting for him in the room. Indeed, there was no point in watching him. It was impossible to leave the house unnoticed so it wasn’t even worth trying. 

Minhyuk stays in a shower for longer than he really needs. He’s standing there, forehead against a cold tile, and is trying to comprehend all that happened. For some reason an absolutely inhumane tiredness comes over him only now. He wants to sit in the corner, hug himself tight and just evaporate turning into warm elusive steam. Usually hot water washes away the negativity after a long day but this time it only brought weight and fear of the unknown replacing his usual confidence in a monotonous life routine. 

When Minhyuk enters his room he sees a bowl of carry rice and a cup of tea that smells like jasmine on the desk. His stomach starts growling. Shownu who was sitting on his bed with a book stands up and stops in a doorway before leaving. 

“Kihyun will come in the morning. He’ll introduce you to everyone, explain the basics and your responsibilities. Ask him about everything that’s unclear.”  
“He can’t stand me.”

Minhyuk takes a towel off his neck and hangs it on a headboard. Shownu stares at him for a while then turns his head round to check if there was anyone in a hallway and looks back at Minhyuk. 

“I know who you think we are but that’s not true. Kihyun is responsible for all of the guys and today you were a potential threat to us. He is always like that towards newcomers, he needs some time. He just wants to protect his family,” a pause filled with distant forest rustling and spoons clacking. “He has already lost his other family after all. We all have.” 

The door closes quietly and a key turns. Minhyuk intensely stares at the spot where a second ago Shownu’s calm eyes were. Somehow he understands he is a part of that “we” now. And that “we” keeps echoing in the back of his head unwilling to die down. Maybe everything is really not what he thought it was. Maybe everything has a reason. But can a murder be justified? 

The process of falling asleep took almost an hour. For some reason his head was filled with memories of that hanged boy. They weren’t friends. That boy, his thinks his name was Yoosung, didn’t talk to anyone. He was on his own all the time. And of course the older boys who considered themselves as a higher league and bullied everyone couldn’t just ignore that. 

Everybody pretended they didn’t notice anything. Everybody pretended they didn’t hear screams, moans and dirty laughter at night, didn’t see bruises and blood stains on his clothing. Everybody just wanted to survive and so did Minhyuk. 

That day he locked eyes with Yoosung in a corridor. Even back then he probably already knew that Yoosung made his mind up. Minhyuk gave him an orange that he had stolen from the kitchen and planned to save for a rainy day. He didn’t know why he had done that but he felt like he had to. In the evening when the police had already left Minhyuk came back to his room and found a half of that orange under his pillow. Involuntarily, he shared Yoosung’s last meal.

When Minhyuk took a closer look he noticed a little bag filled with powder lying next to the orange. Of course he knew what it was. All the kids knew that the elders were trading drugs. Yoosung stole some and left it to Minhyuk. He realized why only when the Commission arrived. They always come after suicide cases. He split the powder into smaller bags and planted them into beds of everyone who abused Yoosung and other kids. They never saw the bullies again. 

No dreams. Minhyuk doesn’t know when exactly he blacked out but when he woke up he realized that his body didn’t even move throughout the night. Eyes closed, eyes opened. There was no trace of tiredness but anxiety still didn’t go anywhere. Oddly enough, curiosity started growing somewhere inside. People can't do anything against their nature. The last day was packed with events along with emotions and the second day was going to continue the sequence apparently. After its former monotony the life got full of so many colors that it wasn’t clear how to react to them and how to separate light colors from dark ones. 

Minhyuk heard an abrupt knock on the door a minute after he made his bed and put on a blue hoodie that was gifted to him by a nice old guy from a factory he once worked at. 

“Wash up then come have breakfast. Bring the dirty dishes,” says Kihyun dryly and goes away leaving the door open. 

Minhyuk sighs. He doesn’t expect them to treat him warmly. After all he’s just an outsider who showed up out of the blue and who’s gonna live off them here. However he is used to be the fifth wheel whenever he goes so he is not really affected by that anymore. At least he wants to believe it. 

Tap water is cold, ice-cold even since nobody has turned on the boiler yet. Really helps refresh oneself. Minhyuk comes down the stairs, his hand is touching the wall and the railing, studying the texture and trying to get used to it. The kitchen is pretty large and well-lit: the grey sky is seen through a gigantic window. In the center there is a long wooden table with two plates of fried eggs on it. Kihyun who was facing the other way and making coffee points at the sink. 

“Put the dishes there and sit down.” 

They eat in silence. Minhyuk literally has to shove pieces of food down his throat. Not because of the taste, the eggs were delicious, but the atmosphere made his throat turn into a rock. Kihyun seemed to not care. He ate looking through the window with an absent expression. Then he wiped his mouth with a tissue, waited for Minhyuk to finish his meal and only then started talking. 

“What do you think people need laws for?”

The last thing Minhyuk expected to hear was a philosophical question. He straightens his back and diligently tries to remember everything he was taught back in the orphanage. It felt like he was called down to the principal’s office. He felt the urge to youthfully respond “Laws are meant to be broken” but he had a gut feeling that he will get burnt down with an irritated look for that at the very minimum. 

“Well, they maintain order in the Zone,” for the last part his voice raises and it sounds more like a question rather than an answer.  
“Order,” repeats Kihyun slowly. “Laws maintain humanity within the framework of humanity not letting people turn into mad animals and rip each other’s throats out. What’s the difference between rules and laws?” 

Minhyuk honestly has no clue why this juridical interview was started. Firstly, it was strange. Secondly, he always had problems with jurisprudence and law. He didn’t know the answer so he just kept blankly staring at Kihyun the way a fifth grader looks at a teacher when they review a completely failed test after class. 

“Rules are reinforced by law,” Kihyun finally explains his thought putting the weight of a meaning in every word. “It’s up to you whether to break a rule or not but you are not the one to decide whether you’re gonna be punished by law or not.”

Kihyun turns his head and for the first time looks Minhyuk in the eyes. His face is tired, exhausted even, and this fact almost completely overpowers the initial beauty. It’s because the exhaustion was expressed not by some features or physical aspects that could be covered if needed but by the beyond his years tough seriousness in his gaze. His face was young yet the soul resting in his eyes was old, beaten up, scarred by a painful experience that he didn’t ask for. It was terrifying. It could make you want to look away and cover yourself. 

“Shownu and I have created the Clan X which has been in existence for four years due to the fact that there is the Law that maintains all of us in a certain framework. Not a single violation goes unpunished so if you don’t want problems you have to stick to the Law. Am I making myself clear?”

Minhyuk nods. There are certain laws. If you break any of them you get punished. Simple as that. He’d been living like that for many years and is familiar with such system. Come to think of it, he doesn’t know how to live in any other way. 

“The Law consists of ten paragraphs but for now I’m only gonna tell you about four. You’ll learn the others in the process,” Kihyun bends his finger. “Firstly, everyone has their own responsibilities that they have to carry out. Simply put, who doesn’t work doesn’t eat. I’m responsible for food which means I cook and buy groceries. Usually everybody wash their dishes themselves but now it’s your job. You wash all the dishes after breakfast, lunch, dinner and just during the day whenever you see something in the sink. Is that clear?”  
“Absolutely.” 

He’s done much worse jobs in order to earn money for living. This one is even way too simple. Minhyuk is fine with that. 

“The second paragraph. Going outside the Lair without leader’s permission is prohibited. In your case any escape attempt is a death sentence. There’s no need for any further explanation I think,” Kihyun says in a deliberately casual way bending another finger. “Thirdly, fights between Clan members are prohibited. You hit anyone – get ready to spend a week inside your room eating one meal per day. This shouldn’t be a problem for you either.”

No wonder. Picking a fight with a murderer wouldn’t worth a thing. Whatever happens Minhyuk is in no position to push for his rights. 

“And lastly for now. Decisions are made together but leader’s will is adamant.”  
“So Shownu makes decisions even if you don’t agree with them?” Minhyuk frowns feeling that something was a little off. “What’s the point of collective decisions then?”  
“Shownu listens to our opinions and makes a single decision thoroughly thinking through every suggestion.”  
“But he still does it in accordance with his own principles, not with the majority opinion.”  
“You think we would recognize him as our leader if we didn’t trust him unconditionally?” Kihyun defiantly lifts up his chin. “Shownu gathered us all together under one roof. He is well aware of his responsibility for us and his decisions. And we all agree that if he does something then it just had to be done. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be here. Including you.” 

The first thing that comes to Minhyuk’s mind is “doglike devotion”. He doesn’t know about the others but Kihyun is obviously devoted to Shownu selflessly. He is ready to tear to shreds anyone who says something bad about their leader. Such desperate loyalty doesn’t come from nowhere. Something has happened for sure because Minhyuk couldn’t think about any other explanation. You don’t just trust someone with your life without a strong reason. But he didn’t dare to ask and it was very unlikely that Kihyun would answer anyway. 

When the table is cleared off and the dishes are washed they leave the kitchen. A long dark hallway and a living room that smells like firewood. Minhyuk immediately lifts up his head but the beams are empty and Wonho is nowhere to be found. Instead there was an unknown guy laying on a couch under a blanket that barely covered his long legs. His coffee hair was messy, lips looked kinda strange. 

“The gate is controlled alternately by two Guardians. Wonho’s shift from midday till midnight and vice versa,” explains Kihyun and turns to the Guardian. “Introduce yourself.”   
“Chae Hyungwon,” he gets up unwillingly, shakes Minhyuk’s hand and lays back down pulling the blanket to his chin. “I develop strategies for missions. Looks like I have to take into account the possibility of delivery guys getting late due to the subway malfunction from now on.” 

Minhyuk shrugs his shoulders with an apologetic grin. 

“It wasn’t a part of my plan either.”  
“Anyway it’s not my fault. And if Changkyun is so clever then he can develop a strategy himself next time.” 

Hyungwon eloquently gives Kihyun an offended look and turns away wrapping himself in a blanket. Kihyun sighs, closes his eyes and slowly counts to ten on the inside. He was getting pretty sick of being a mediator in the guys’ arguments, mostly in arguments between Changkyun and the others. His big mouth causes too many troubles. But he will deal with that later. 

When your life isn’t on the line everything feels differently. The air isn’t heavy anymore, its pureness makes head spin. Minhyuk was born and has grown up in a city so being on an open territory was new. He gets a lungful of fresh air. Apart from the smell of dry grass and fired gunpowder he inhales a life-giving freshness of a swaying forest. The wind slides down his face, scratches his ears but the natural coolness is so nice that Minhyuk feels much better and calms down almost completely. The upcoming life in this place doesn’t seem like a horrifying imprisonment anymore. Getting his head clear obviously did some good. 

The chipped paint garage door is half-lifted. Before they come close to it they hear a part of a conversation that stops abruptly because of their footsteps. 

“For real? You got screwed well huh.”  
“No fucking joke. So I tell that motherfucker…” 

The workshop is as neat as it was yesterday. Jooheon was doing something inside an engine while holding a fluffy brush covered with only god knows what. Not far from him Changkyun was sitting cross-legged on a workbench. He stares at Kihyun inquiringly wondering if he heard him or not. 

“You already know Jooheon.”

Kihyun lets Minhyuk go forward, rests his eyes on Changkyun for two seconds and turns away as if he doesn’t care making it obvious that he’s just acting. He lets it slide this time. 

“I’m kind of a mechanic around here,” Jooheon wipes off the sweat on the lip. “Let’s say I’ve got an expanded area of activity. I can repair a watch, I can take a car apart and put it together again, I can shoot a man in the eye from one kilometer away with a sniper rifle. Depends on a situation you know.” 

Minhyuk chuckles and unconsciously shakes his head. A worm of morality that has barely fallen asleep started wiggling again. He should get used to such personal characteristics. His morality has to be left back in his old life when he was rushing up the street unaware of what was yet to come. Or when the gangster’s brain was spilled all over the floor thanks to Minhyuk’s help. 

“I’ve never seen a workshop so clean,” Minhyuk decides to change the subject. “They’re usually sloppy, filled with piles of junk and smell like motor oil.”   
“This neat freak cleans his cave until it shines every freaking day,” Changkyun puts as much salt into his words as he can and rolls his eyes. “God forbid you leave the tiniest piece of shit on his workbench. He’ll be nagging the living hell out of you for the whole week.”  
“It’s impossible to work when there’s shit scattered all over the place. I have to be able to get instruments I need quick and that’s why they need to be put back in their places,” Jooheon provocatively swings a wrench right before Changkyun’s nose and goes back to work speaking to Minhyuk. “Come find me if you need any help. I’ve been there and I know that it’s rather hard to get the hang of this in such environment. Don’t mind this little brat over here he’s really not this much of an asshole that he appears to be.” 

When Changkyun hears that he just scoffs smugly and shrugs as if saying that there are no angels in this place anyway. He takes a wrinkled pack of candies out of his pocket, opens it and puts two into his mouth not even thinking about offering any to others. However he obediently puts wrappers back into his pocket. He does love being a pain the ass but he knows where the lines he shouldn’t cross are. At least in a place where he spends most of the days. 

“So are you just on a tour or something?”  
“Give me a Glock 17.” 

The answer makes Jooheon turn around with a sincere surprise on a face. He wipes his hands on a rag. 

“Isn’t it too early for that? I thought you’d start with a melee.”   
“Anyone can throw fists. I’ve got my own tactics.” 

Kihyun touches his empty holster without even noticing it. He feels much more comfortable when there’s a gun in there. There was a time when he would spend days at the shooting range. He would give up food and sleep in order to improve himself. It was a perfect distraction from a self-hatred and all the mess that had lodged deep inside. The gunshot sound and the recoil of a pistol became a drug, a harmless kind of morphine. 

“Jooheon keeps record of weapons,” Kihyun explains to Minhyuk when mechanic goes behind the far door. “You must turn in all the weapons after trainings and missions. It’s another paragraph of the Law and if you break it he will hit your head with a screwdriver at a very minimum.”  
“And at a very maximum?”  
“Magical as all fuck beatings from Shownu,” grunts Changkyun recalling his own experience.   
“If you don’t learn to watch your goddamn language you’ll get them from me,” Kihyun gives him a fierce look and his voice is filled with such an unexpected toughness that Changkyun feels very uncomfortable but tries to pretend he didn’t hear anything.   
“Well anyway it’s very tedious so I don’t recommend that,” he responds after a little pause. 

A minute later Jooheon returns to the workshop relieving tension that built up in the room like little ice cubes. A gun in one hand, a soda can covered in drops of water in the other. He hands Kihyun a black matte pistol. 

“One magazine’s gonna be enough?”  
“For today yes.” 

Kihyun points Minhyuk to the exit and follows him however when it’s his turn to duck and go under a half-lifted door he turns round and strictly looks Changkyun in the eyes.

“I’ll speak to you later.” 

He then goes out not seeing how Jooheon and Changkyun give each other alarmed looks and how the latter tilts back his head quietly growling “Fuck”. 

There’s a pretty wide pathway to the right of the garage that leads to the backyard. Minhyuk can’t hold back his amazed “Wow” when he sees three cars under an iron canopy attached to the house. They came here in a Renault so he doesn’t really look at it. But a flaming red Audi RS7 immediately has stolen his attention. Polished to perfection, it significantly stood out against a background of pale yellow withered grass. As if a nobleman was sitting in a murky tavern. 

“Let me guess,” says Minhyuk. “That’s Shownu’s car right?”   
“He would never waste money on such a small useless car just to get his ego stroked. See that black Hover over there? It’s his.”  
“Then Wonho?”  
“Who else could spend so much money on a thing he doesn’t even really use?” Kihyun clicks his tongue with disdain not trying to conceal his condemnation and disapproval. “It’s too conspicuous to drive in a city and is suited for very specific missions in high places only. Flushing money down the drain.” 

Minhyuk nods but looks at the car once more when they move on. There were times when he didn’t have enough money to buy food. He saw such luxurious things on gigantic billboards in a downtown only. It was difficult to imagine that someone could really afford such profligacy. He also got a childish wish to ride on that car at least once, just to get a grasp on what it feels like to be inside something that costs more than all your organs put together. Just imagine that you’re not at the bottom of the social ladder and you don’t have to count every dime. 

However Minhyuk forgets about the car once they enter the shooting range surrounded by a wooden fence. Kihyun takes out a white round-shaped piece of steel from a big crate and attaches it to one of the poles on the other side of the range. He secures it with a specialized screw and makes sure it doesn’t move. Satisfied, he goes back to Minhyuk. 

“As you may have guessed, we’re at the shooting range. Everyone has their own type of weapon but guns are a mandatory basis for all of us,” Kihyun shows Minhyuk a pistol. “This is a Glock 17. Its recoil is not really strong and it also has a comfortable grip and an automatic firing pin safety which prevents a newbie like you from shooting yourself. Therefore if you move your finger by accident you won’t pull the trigger.” 

Kihyun holds a grip with his right hand and then puts his left hand on top of its fingers. 

“You hold a pistol like that. You want the web between your trigger finger and thumb to be as high as possible on the grip to contain the recoil of the slide moving back and forth. If you want to use only one hand to look like a badass from action movies then be ready to take a bullet from those who have brains.” 

Minhyuk thinks that if he had a third arm he would use it to hold this freaking thing as well. Right now he has two extremes: to bury the gun so he doesn’t have to touch it ever again and to grab it tight and cement it up so it won’t accidently slip out of his shaking fingers and hit him in the forehead. 

“Then you pull the bolt back and it’s ready to fire.” 

Following his words, Kihyun pulls the top part of the gun and returns hands to the original position. He stretches out his arms, aims for a couple of seconds and pulls the trigger. Minhyuk can’t help but flinch because of the sound, ears start ringing a little. In the middle of a round steel piece there is a tiny hole. 

“Your turn,” Kihyun hands him the gun but Minhyuk steps back and shrivels up.   
“Aren’t we like supposed to do the dry firing for the first time? I’ve never even been to a shooting gallery I just like shot my bow and that was it. I don’t want to waste bullets.”   
“Ammo is not your concern. I want you to understand from the very beginning what a bullet is and what consequences firing a gun has.”

Kihyun’s gaze is strong and obviously does not tolerate any objections. He takes everything seriously and he’s not gonna babysit anyone anymore. Either do what you are told to do or get the hell out of here. 

Minhyuk hesitates but takes the gun. The grip is kinda textured so it’s not slippery at all. The pistol is much lighter than he thought however because of how nervous he is almost unbearable heaviness fills up his wrists especially where the rapid pulse was. 

“Three right fingers on a grip, index finger on a side of a frame, thumb goes there too but on the opposite side. Place your left hand so that there’s no empty space can be seen,” Kihyun gives instructions correcting Minhyuk’s movements with the edge of his hand. “Hold tight but don’t cling to it as if you’re hanging off the edge of a cliff. It’s you holding it not a pistol holding you.” 

A question about whether anyone has been already killed by this gun or not pops up in the head but Minhyuk does his best to brush off all the irrelevant thoughts and tries to concentrate on Kihyun’s guidance. He understands everything he’s being taught but it’s rather difficult to make his body move right. 

“There’s no need to pull the bolt again but in your case you need it for practice.”

Minhyuk diligently does as he is directed. He feels the strain and hears a quiet clicking sound. His throat suddenly becomes dry as if it was covered with sandpaper. 

“Feet a shoulder-width apart,” Kihyun slightly kicks his sneakers making them spread. “Stretch out your arms and bend your elbows just a little.”

The gun muzzle starts jiggling from side to side drawing little eights in the air. He tries to keep his hands from shaking but since he’s not used to such activity it seems impossible. 

“We have to figure out which eye is your dominant one. Look at the bullet hole on the target, point the gun at it and fixate your eyes on that hole. Close your right eye,” methodically commands Kihyun standing on his side. “Did the hole move?”  
“Yes.”  
“Then it’s not your dominant eye. You have to close your left eye and aim with the right one.” 

Briefing’s over. Minhyuk deeply inhales fresh air that smells like swaying forest. He knows that for some people shooting a gun isn’t a big deal especially when targets are fake but to him it’s gonna be a huge step towards a different path that he had to take. His first shot ever. He’s standing behind the house where murderers live and is guided by one of them. Could he ever imagine that his life would turn this way? The answer comes unexpectedly. He couldn’t. But he really hoped for that deep inside. 

The recoil really wasn’t that strong but his hands still jerk back a little. The sound was too close and too loud. Minhyuk’s heart is beating like crazy. He lowers the gun and looks at a new hole that took place in top right, almost at the very edge of the target. Almost missed. The gun wobbled too hard. 

“Wonky,” concludes Kihyun without mercy. “Your finger phalanx has to be at the center of the trigger or you’ll keep going sides.”  
“I’ll try.”  
“You will not TRY, you will DO,” Kihyun’s voice is flat and calm, he wasn’t yelling or arguing he just established the fact: Minhyuk won’t go anywhere until he does exactly what he’s asked to do. “When you’re aiming don’t focus on the target, focus on the front sight and then verify the alignment between front and rear sights of the gun. I’m talking about these two metal stubs,” he points at them with a finger. “Aim your gun and look at it, look at that farther stub and make sure it’s not blurry. You have to be confident that you control the gun.” 

Further attempts were more successful. Not as close to the center as needed but at least a couple centimeters away from the edge. Minhyuk got the overall principle so now he just needs to learn how to control power in his hands and practice his aiming. When there was only one bullet left Kihyun stopped him and turned back. Minhyuk turned as well and saw Shownu walking towards them while carrying something strange. 

Shownu is wearing grey sweatpants and a black hoodie that doesn’t hinder movements. Since he has long legs he makes really big steps and it seemed like he was going so fast he almost ran when in reality he was relaxed and took his time. He is surrounded with that everything-is-under-control energy again. Because it really is. Even his appearance here was planned beforehand. He heard shots and counted them knowing exactly how many bullets Glock’s magazine has. 

“Good morning,” he says and checks out the pierced target. “Not bad for first time. Rather well.”  
“I’m a fast learner,” Minhyuk reacts to praise immediately and stretches his neck trying to see what Shownu has brought. “What’s that? Some kind of a barrier?” 

Even though the leader theoretically is supposed to be scarier than other members Minhyuk feels much more comfortable being next to him than being with Kihyun. At least Shownu has never tried to kill him. 

“It’s another target. Larger but more difficult to shoot.” 

Minhyuk’s eyebrows rise. Instead of explaining Shownu goes to set it. Once he turns it around front side facing them something flops inside Minhyuk making him feel sick. He is staring at a printed on steel face of an unknown man in his thirties. It looks so real you could see his stubble. 

Shownu comes back in a minute however Minhyuk still hasn’t moved a limb. Kihyun carelessly hits his fingers with the back of his hand and points at the target with his chin. 

“Shoot it.” 

Minhyuk’s hands that seemed to get used to the pistol start shaking again. He looks into the eyes that were made out of paint and hardly swallows. The realization of what he is about to do hits him like a stormy wave, shocks him with its absurdness. There’s a fake human standing in front of him, a target, a piece of steel which however was made to train him to kill people. Train him to take lives. Minhyuk is terrified and disgusted. He doesn’t want to be like one of those scumbags who murdered his parents. 

“Don’t be such a wimp. Lift your arms up and pull the trigger,” says Kihyun harshly and Minhyuk obeys. 

He raises the gun, aims it somewhere at the man’s chest area but his index finger doesn’t move. Minhyuk focuses on the front sight so hard everything around him becomes very blurry. His hands are openly twitching to millions directions. He tilts his head down a bit and strains the finger. 

“No,” at the very last moment Minhyuk lowers his arms and takes a few steps back. “I can’t.”  
“It’s just a piece of steel.”  
“It’s a piece of steel designed like a fucking human and I’m not gonna shoot it implying he’s alive.” 

Minhyuk aggressively shakes his head and, controlled by emotions, throws the gun at Kihyun’s feet looking at him almost disapprovingly. He feels regret and fear a second later. 

“You know what,” starts Kihyun roughly, his voice sounds really vicious, but Shownu doesn’t let him finish.  
“Mingyu and Wonwoo are coming tonight. Please, go prepare everything for their arrival, will you, Kihyun?” 

Shownu’s gaze is pretty expressive. He asks to calm down and follow his order letting him solve the problem his way. He knows how serious the consequences of rash actions can be and he’s not gonna let that happen. If a Clan member can’t handle the situation then the leader will. And to Minhyuk’s surprise Kihyun really leaves after some hesitation giving him an irritated look. Ex-delivery guy turns to Shownu with shame and waits for his punishment. 

“You did the right thing.”  
“What?”   
“The main paragraph of our Law states that we do not kill civilians. We do not kill those who don’t deserve it. Elimination is prohibited unless the guilt is proven.” 

They lock eyes for a while and then Shownu looks at the greenish forest extending outside the fence. In that direction there is a city where everything has started. He lost a part of his soul there but found an idea as well as those who shared his views. A well-known aching wakes up under his ribs. This dull pain once became a normality just like breathing. And he felt that the person standing next to him has been carrying the same pain. 

“We don’t kill for pleasure or money. There’s one thing that binds us together: the Government took away our loved ones. By the will of the Government thousands of people were killed after the Hwanung Hunt has started and then the world split into Zones. Whole families got slaughtered with complete impunity. If one day people like Hwanungs appear they will take them away as well,” Shownu turns back to Minhyuk who was listening very attentively and pauses for a moment. “Someone has to stop them. They were destroying us and now we are destroying them otherwise the whole nation besides the elite will be enslaved. These assholes have to pay for what they’ve done.” 

Shownu picks up the pistol from the ground and gives it to Minhyuk who still remains silent.

“Do they deserve to live? After all they’ve done to me. After all they’ve done to you. While we were suffering, grieving they enjoyed life. You’re okay with that? You’ll let them get away with it?” 

Minhyuk remembers how his grandmother would show him photos of his parents. Happy and excited, they were hugging him and planning for a future that would never come to them. He remembers how he had to hide, sneak and fight for his life. He remembers the orphanage overcrowded with lost children that had nowhere to go. He remembers how he was crying his eyes out after granny’s funeral hiding in a filthy alleyway and nobody cared. And now he still has nowhere to go, nobody’s waiting for him. And all of that is because these people in the Government thought that they had the right to hold over other men’s lives and take them if they wanted to. 

The shot wasn’t perfect but with such a stomach wound it would be almost impossible to survive. The magazine is empty. Minhyuk rubs his finger across a cold frame. 

“Count me in.”


	4. Chapter 4

It’s not that Minhyuk has never thought about overthrowing the current arrangement which has been doing nothing but contributing to ruining innocent people’s lives. Every person has a spirit of a rebel but not everyone lets it wake up. Revolution means changes and changes mean uncertainty. What can be more terrifying than uncertainty? A fear of things getting worse, a fear of a stable even though exhausting routine turning into something unstable, something that doesn’t have any guarantees about the future. This fear just won’t let people move. Besides, it’s always hard to start doing something especially when there’s no one by your side. 

A few times Minhyuk was on the verge to abandon a tedious life of a poor man who works hard for peanuts and unquestioningly puts up with all the shit that comes at him. However he always got stopped by a thought of those groups of people who walk across the squares and bang on about the changes in the Government being bound to fail from the beginning. They didn’t have a clear plan and actually those emotionally yelling “leaders” had nothing but colorful speeches and promises of a better life. 

Minhyuk’s eyes focus on Shownu’s wide back. In some strange way this man makes you feel confident. He doesn’t go on about how sickening the current circumstances are while heavily foaming at the mouth, he doesn’t try to recruit as many people as possible in order to spread his ideas like a virus. Shownu calmly places facts and Shownu, without any further ado, does. He just does what he thinks needs to be done. He has a plan and he methodically follows it uniting those whose rebel spirit has awaken and who need some certain guidance. Not everyone is born leaders ready to lead the way since it’s easier to follow anyway. You just do your part not being responsible for others’ parts. 

Also everybody has their own reasons for everything. Minhyuk is so curious about their leader his head hurts. What had happened to Shownu that he found the strength to stand up against the system? What had beaten him but instead of breaking made him stronger? And why does he seem so freaking reliable? Of course Minhyuk’s not gonna trust him totally and completely. He’s too used to keep the deadweight of his secrets to share it with another person. Yet he’s obviously ready to follow Shownu throwing away some of his moral principles. At least starting from the moment he shot that last bullet. But really what’s the story of his drama? 

“By the way, who’s coming this evening?” asks Minhyuk instead when they are heading to the workshop to turn in the gun.   
“Two members of another Clan. We’re not the only ones who decided to take the offensive. The Carat Clan is our ally, friends basically. Therefore there's another paragraph: to help them when needed cause they will do the same for us.” 

The fact that this situation is getting clearer bit by bit is pretty overwhelming. Now it’s at least much more possible to think about his future instead of wondering what’s gonna happen to him. Minhyuk doesn’t see himself as a killer and a full-fledged realization of everything will really take time. 

Shownu left him in the workshop to study weapons and their mechanisms. Jooheon was busy with blueprints so Changkyun was appointed mentor. He shrugged showing he doesn’t care but he was taking Minhyuk to the armory with his chin held high. 

Actually after about ten minutes alone with Changkyun he pulled down his cockiness. Yes, he swears like a trooper, sticks sarcastic comments left, right and center, never misses an opportunity to emphasize that Minhyuk doesn’t know dog shit about what they’re doing but talking to him is easy. He always speaks his mind not honeying words thus there was no need to try to figure out what he thinks of Minhyuk and the world in general. You can just ask and get an answer right away. 

“I got to the Clan a year ago,” says Changkyun while loading bullets into the Smith & Wesson’s cylinder. “And I had no intention whatsoever to communicate with these motherfuckers. Thought I’d just go do my own shit and kill them Government sons of bitches but guess what? No fucking way. You can’t survive in this shithole all by yourself. If you’re not fucking sure that someone’s got your goddamn back you’ll get your ass stuffed with bullets. It took me two months to understand why the fuck Shownu gathers everybody under one roof and asks to follow that fucking Law. Parts of this piece of shit,” Changkyun shakes a revolver in the air. “Are useless separately. Only if you get the right parts and only if you put them together right only then you’ll get a functioning gun. Fucking philosophy man.”   
“But what if I’m a wrong part?” asks Minhyuk concerned.  
“There’s a shit ton of weapons you White Head fuck. If you don’t fit in one combination you’ll fit in another. What I’m saying is,” Changkyun hands him a gun. “Nobody’s gonna judge you here. We’ll help you find your place.” 

By the evening Minhyuk’s hands are burning. They’re covered in scratches and chafed spots. On his thumbs and index fingers there are indentation marks caused by constant Glock parts shifting. Changkyun who truly believes that Minhyuk won’t be able to shoot properly unless he learns how guns work didn’t let him go until he managed to strip down and assemble back the pistol without delay. Despite everything, local maknae turned out to be extremely responsible when it comes to work. During the break he told Minhyuk that besides their “domestic responsibilities” everybody has their own specialization. Even though all of them knew the basics of melee and shooting pretty well it was later decided to choose specific areas. 

Changkyun himself prefers pistols, revolvers and different types of rifles except for sniper ones. In terms of work duties he is in charge of information technology aspects and smugly calls himself a homegrown hacker. A hacker who obediently applies protective glasses to other members’ phones. 

Kihyun uses the same type of weapons however his specialization is pretty vague. “He’s kinda like Shownu’s secretary. But don’t you ever call him that he’ll beat the shit out of you,” Changkyun scratches his chin with a gun muzzle. “Kihyun usually calls himself a right hand or a counselor. He’s always busy with some boring-ass paperwork and settles questions with the Carats.”

Wonho is obsessed with cold steel and never goes anywhere without his Damascus dagger. He’s got an insane arsenal of knives, daggers, swords and god knows what else in his room. Shownu forced him to hand over half of it to the armory however the collection keeps getting bigger. Nobody actually knows where Wonho gets all that money for his very not cheap hobby. 

Hyungwon rarely participates in fights directly preferring cold-blooded headshots with a sniper rifle over active movements. If Wonho during his free shifts collects data using leads from Shownu and basically does bribes then Hyungwon analyzes the information Wonho gives him and then develops strategies for every mission. 

Hyungwon would find a nice spot beforehand and get to his position or choose such spot for Jooheon as well. Jooheon also likes backing others from above. A well timed grenade can change the fight drastically. His workshop is filled with literally anything one could need. He develops mechanical stuff and gets weapons and cars ready for missions.

Shownu usually looks for people they could get useful information from whether politely or with force. He thinks of action plans and basically coordinates the whole Clan to function properly. “He’s running arms. All of this shit,” Changkyun waves his hand around meaning the Clan territory. “Requires a fuck ton of money. The field and even the forest are purchased by him so no outsiders would bother us. Sometimes we murder a couple of dickheads for hire but the main and stable income comes from weapons trade. Speaking of which, we have to steal all the guns from those assholes we kill you know to keep the business running.” 

“And what’s Shownu’s weapon?”

Hesitant, Changkyun prims his lips and drums his fingers on the table weighing pros and cons. 

“He’s very good with guns but it’s not his main specialization,” a little pause followed by a reluctant addition. “I’m not allowed to tell you.”   
“What do you mean?” Minhyuk’s eyebrows raise. “You just told me about everyone.”  
“Shownu forbade me to tell you about him.”   
“He’s got a nuclear bomb in his pocket? A space blaster?” Minhyuk chuckles genuinely not being able to imagine even a single reason for such restriction.  
“That would be fucking awesome but no. He’ll tell you when the time comes.”  
“Oh come one,” he whines pulling him by the sleeve. “It will haunt me forever now I won’t fall asleep.” 

Changkyun’s lips curve in a snide smile. He really enjoys knowing secret information and he’s absolutely adamant. Despite all Minhyuk’s pleadings he refused to give even a tiny hint. If leader asked him to keep his mouth shut he will keep his mouth shut. 

Fingers are buzzing of exhaustion. Minhyuk lays on his bed watching tree shadows subtly moving on the wall. A while later the gates open. He gets up and looks out the window. There’s a black off-roader parking in front of the house. Two guys in grey jackets get out and enter the building. The members of a friendly Clan he was told about. 

Minhyuk stretches his back, listens to the indistinct voices downstairs and decides to write down the technique of stripping down a Glock to make sure he doesn’t forget it. When he’s almost done there’s a heavy knock on his door. Even before turning around Minhyuk knew who that was. Kihyun’s aura is radiating ice coldness from the very doorway. 

“You need a special invitation?”  
“What?” Minhyuk blankly blinks.   
“Don’t you know it’s impolite to stay in your room when there are guests in the house? Come down for dinner,” Kihyun chided and walked away leaving him completely confused. 

Minhyuk couldn’t even think that they’d want him to be there so he didn’t ask whether he should come or not. It’s his second day here after all and theoretically he’s just a nobody. He can’t even leave the house alone but now they want him to participate in a Council with another Clan? That’s unexpected. 

The large kitchen suddenly looks rather small. The table full of dishes is occupied by eight men and Minhyuk is the ninth. He took a place between Wonho and Changkyun right in front of the unknown guys. One of them was shamelessly scanning him with piercing eyes. Minhyuk heard their names but doesn’t know who’s who. 

“So you’re the one who caused all that mess, huh?” finally says the man.   
“Wonwoo,” the other guy, Mingyu, pulls him up and slaps his shoulder with a displeased look.  
“It’s okay,” Minhyuk smiles in a conciliatory way. “I understand that I’ve caused a great deal of trouble.”   
“And I really hope that it’s not in vain,” Wonwoo takes a sip. “Wiping off someone’s personal information from absolutely everywhere is not a fun thing to do, let me tell you. But Shownu somehow convinced Seungcheol that you’re a sharp lad.” 

Surprised, Minhyuk looks at Shownu who was sitting at the head of the table and then back at Wonwoo.

“Who’s Seungcheol?”   
“Our leader,” Mingyu clenches his hands and leans forward a little bit taking the initiative. “He asked us to deal with your data since we work with authorities.”  
“Can you stop pretending to be some sort of bigwigs? You’re just a bunch of cops,” grunts Changkyun and gets a few disapproving looks for that.  
“We work in a police force, yes,” Mingyu makes a tired sigh. “Anyway, I checked the archive and I’ve got a question. Before the orphanage you lived with your grandmother. But there’s nothing about your parents. No names, no identification numbers, no information whatsoever. Why?” 

Minhyuk doesn’t like this question. His lips curve but he immediately picks himself up. Yes, this topic is unpleasing but it can’t be helped. 

“My parents didn’t register me and then they just vanished. They were scientists so the job was their main priority.”  
“There’s a large fine for that.”  
“It was in the middle of the Hwanung Hunt. Nobody really cared I guess.” 

This answer satisfies everyone. At that time, when the mystical Energy started to arise in some people everybody was worried about their own lives. Relatives would abandon each other, parents would go against their own children because there was only one punishment for hiding Hwanungs: death. And the award for turning them in was huge. 

When it’s all had just started Hwanungs were asked to get consultations in their local administrations. Those who entered never came back so they started hiding. The Zone was covered in millions of posters saying that “cursed inhumans” are a threat to the whole mankind and in order to save the world desperate measures need to be taken. Even if it’s your mother who turned out to be a Hwanung you are obliged to inform any official authority about it for the common good. Energy detectors were installed throughout the whole Zone and if they detect any burst of the Energy the Hunters with special constraining handcuffs come up almost immediately. People couldn’t trust each other anymore.

“How was the training?” Shownu asks Changkyun when the dinner’s over.   
“White Head’s got some brain,” maknae is leaning on the back of the chair lazily and chews on a toothpick. “He caught the stripping-assembling pretty damn quick.”   
“Can you even shoot a gun?” Wonwoo who looks much friendlier with a full stomach asks out of curiosity this time, not because he wants to insult him.   
“Well, now yes I can,” Minhyuk nods. “Of course I won’t shoot a fly but I’ll definitely won’t miss an elephant.” 

Laughter can be heard from different sides of the table. Sometimes in the end of a day you just need to hear something as stupid as this. 

“I like this guy,” Wonho favorably slaps Minhyuk’s knee with one hand and pours himself more wine with another. 

Minhyuk feels much comfortable than yesterday. There’s no threat against his life and the atmosphere can even be described as friendly. It’s not that he knows what it feels like, a friendly atmosphere, it’s just how he imagines it to feel like. At least no one was arguing and they were talking about neutral topics until Shownu suggested to move on to the information that their guests have brought. 

“They’ve got two bases,” Mingyu spreads out a map on the cleaned table and points at spots with his finger. “One’s near the entrance to Daejeon, one’s in an industrial zone not far from Chuncheon. In Daejeon they purchased a plot with a house and an outbuilding. I’m pretty sure that there they have meet ups and split cash. In Chuncheon they have a complete warehouse. It’s packed with equipment and shit they’ve stolen for trading.”  
“What’s with security?” Hyungwon who was apathetically eating everything Wonho put on his dish before leans forward with a great deal of an interest examining the map.   
“Perimeter cameras but we haven’t got a detailed plan of the place yet. On yard there’s a typical team with Berettas, around seven people not more, plus there are about ten big boys chilling inside the house,” it’s hard for Minhyuk to fully accept that Wonwoo’s describing a criminal gang so casually as if he was talking about his favorite football team. “In the warehouse there are also cameras and a van around the corner full of sweaty dudes armed with M4. It’s a fifteen men shift that changes every 24 hours.”   
“Daejeon’s on us. You’ve got twelve members so three of us will go with you, kill the shift, dress like them and clear the warehouse,” concludes Hyungwon.   
“Exactly,” Mingyu snaps his fingers. “If we do it at the same time we’ll catch them off guard and destroy two huge bases at once.”  
“But then we’ll have only three people for Daejeon where there are about fifteen men,” Jooheon waves his hand somewhere to the side. “Too risky.”  
“There’s gonna be four of us,” Shownu who’s been listening carefully all this time finally starts talking. “Minhyuk is a part of the Clan now.”  
“Me?” Minhyuk’s eyes open so wide his whites blend into his hair.   
“He?” exclaims Kihyun and can’t help but smirk with contempt. “He can’t even shoot a man target without being all weepy and whiny. We won’t have time to look after him and cover him up. We’re all dead if he goes with us.” 

Shownu calmly straightens his back, puts his elbows on the table and gives everyone a serious look. 

“Both Seungcheol and I have to contact some people to make sure everything goes as planned. We have to thoroughly develop a strategy taking into account all the nuances. It will take at least two weeks which are enough for Minhyuk to learn the basics.”  
“He. Does. Not. Have. Experience,” Kihyun pauses after every word and bangs on the table. “Fists throwing with bullies and armed fights are different things, Shownu, you of all people know that.”  
“You of all people know that experience comes from practice,” retorts Shownu with a straight face. 

Tensed silence falls on the kitchen. Even if someone had any comments they decided to keep them. A conflict between the Clan founders doesn’t mean anything good and taking sides would make it even worse. Minhyuk feels guilty. It’s all because of him once again. He feels worse when Kihyun stands up without a word and quickly leaves. Later, when the Council is over Minhyuk grabs Shownu’s arm at the arch. 

“He’s right. I’ll get in the way and ruin everything.”  
“It depends on you. You either learn everything we’re gonna teach you and overcome your fears or not.”  
“What if someone gets hurt because of me?”  
“If I had kept thinking about it all the time I’d have still worked as a construction worker,” Shownu puts his warm hand on Minhyuk’s shoulder. “Everybody has to start somewhere. We will help you, this is what our Clan is about.”

Minhyuk sighs and nods in agreement. He doesn’t believe in himself at all. He’ll try at least. He won’t forgive himself if he lets down Shownu who counts on him. But the problem isn’t solved completely. 

“I guess I have to talk to Kihyun,” he says quietly.   
“There’s no need to. He always goes to the shooting range when he’s pissed. He’ll blow off steam and come back. I’ll talk to him, that’s my job.” 

Leader pats his shoulder and leaves. Minhyuk is now alone in the kitchen. He hears voices from different parts of the house and a sound of a car driving off. The dishes along with heavy thoughts and a sudden responsibility are waiting for him. One day circumstances will stop building up something new and unexpected in his life. One day. 

So began the series of trainings. Minhyuk feels like he’s got into an army camp. He now has a schedule, a huge pile of new information and a physical activity he’s not used to. But there’s no commanders. After personal contact with everyone except for Kihyun who just ignores his existence this group of so called killers doesn’t scare him anymore. In them he saw boys who suddenly had to grow up, mature and find braveness to stand up for changes in the Zone’s socio-political situation. Certainly, it’s still hard to accept their immorality towards some aspects. However, as time goes by Minhyuk starts to agree with them more and more. They all have their reasons to hate the Government. Everyone lost something important even though they prefer not to discuss it and Minhyuk doesn’t force anyone since he himself isn’t ready to open up sincerely. 

Changkyun remained as his shooting teacher. Oddly enough, they hit it off the fastest. He wouldn’t let Minhyuk go to the shooting range with a new type of weapon until he learns the theory from differences between calibers to the minimal modification of any pistol. Minhyuk’s hands are all callused but they’re now pretty accustomed to the coldness of guns. He developed tactical memory so the movements became automatic. 

Over time, human-like targets stopped evoking emotions. Ex-delivery guy now focuses not on what he shoots but rather on where and how he shoots. The accuracy is still a little wonky but it got significantly better since the first time. Changkyun likes to mockingly say that if they compare shooting to using toilet then Minhyuk at least was no longer pissing on the floor. However young mentor out of his own principles would try to hide his satisfied smile that shines during successful moments. He saw the fruits of his labors. He shared his knowledge and it was accepted. Changkyun will never admit that openly but he’s kinda proud. 

Melee lessons are held by Wonho two hours before his shift starts. At first Minhyuk treated him with suspicion and was always waiting for tricks and traps. And there were tricks and traps, after all, nobody’s gonna fuss over you in a fight. A little knowledge of self-defense that Minhyuk got back in the orphanage didn’t save him from skillful ankle trips and gut punches that he missed completely. Minhyuk would fall to the ground over and over and over again accompanied by Wonho’s laughter who lists which of his bones would be broken if the fight was real out loud. Back, face, hands, elbows, knees, butt – he landed on everything. In a couple of days his body was colorfully painted with bruises and abrasions. But Minhyuk grew excited and got into the swing. To hold as many attacks as he can, to dodge as often as he can, to hit back really hard at least once. A week after he managed to hold out for a couple of minutes without serious injuries. Wonho stopped the fight and applauded. 

“Looks like you’re not that much of a pussy, are you?”  
“I’ll kick your ass, just you wait,” Minhyuk growls with a pleased smile struggling to catch his breath. 

Wonho has a special trait which is him looking like an arrogant immoral asshole who likes to show off. The specialness of this trait is the fact that he really is that asshole. No matter how many times Minhyuk falls down Wonho never gives him a hand and barely waits for him to get up on his own sometimes even teasing him. Minhyuk understood the meaning of such training only after a while. Each time he falls down the realization that nobody’s gonna lift him up and wait for him to come to his senses made him stand up and get his own body under control faster and faster. But at the end of every lesson Wonho personally checks him for injuries and tells which medications to use and how to treat all his wounds so they heal faster. He would pat his back and praise his efforts. Wonho is doctor Jekyll towards those he likes and mister Hyde to everyone else. Minhyuk can say that they get along well. 

He has pretty nice relations with Jooheon too. The fridge in his workshop is full of soda and there’s always some energetic music playing on. He happened to teach Minhyuk how to drive. Different situations might occur as well as various injuries so each of them has to be able to drive the injured away from danger and not only carefully but without any delay in the nick of time. 

Minhyuk didn’t have parents nor friends nor money thus there was no opportunity for him to learn how to drive. Unlike Changkyun Jooheon wasn’t concentrated on theory and preferred practice instead. Besides he has much more patience even though he says things like “well you gotta do it like that cause it’s the right way I mean you’ll get it when you try”, “nah, that’s not important”, “you don’t have to know why just follow my example” all the time. Minhyuk was saved only by the fact that he absorbs new information rather fast if it’s interesting.

The fun started when the car got outside the Lair and ex-delivery guy was in the driver’s seat to do a lap. Jooheon was discreetly seating next to him with his body half-turned and his hand placed on a dashboard to grab the wheel in case something goes wrong. Minhyuk confused the pedals only once but it was enough for mechanic to rethink his values and realize that being on a battlefield when you might get shot any second isn’t the scariest feeling in the world. 

Nevertheless, he was pleased with Minhyuk’s progress. When they finish early Minhyuk stays in the workshop, eats chips and they discuss movies while Jooheon is crafting something again. If Changkyun wasn’t on a mission he’d join so the three of them would chat nonstop. Until Kihyun’s ice-cold voice reminds that it’s time for Minhyuk to do something useful. 

He meets Hyungwon only when he gets on his night shift in the living room. The Night Guardian wraps himself up in a blanket and shows Minhyuk sheets of previous strategy plans explaining how the missions are usually executed. His speech is quiet and doesn’t have many epithets but he only talks about important things and makes them sound simple. Minhyuk listens carefully and memorizes how to escape from different situations. One night, when strategy discussion turned into discussing the Lair Minhyuk even surprised himself when he suddenly asked Hyungwon one question. 

“You don’t look like a murderer at all. You don’t even look like someone who’s interested in all these fights. How did you get here?”

The Night Guardian doesn’t rush to answer. He fixes the blanket on his shoulders, thoughtfully chews on his lower lip and then clears his throat with a muffled sound. 

“I’m from the Military Academy. There I learned to shoot guns. But I didn’t work on a battlefield, instead I worked in the Science Centre so I studied people and psychology. Shortly speaking, our team was taken into the Block which only those who have Special Unit cards could enter. We expected to see some crazy stuff but definitely not a dozen Hwanungs that were brought there from the Citadel,” Hyungwon shakes his head as he remembers. “I never really cared about them since I’ve never met one but when I locked eyes with that sad little girl that was locked up in a cage with her hands and feet tied as if she was a wild animal I realized that I couldn’t do it. This research guaranteed prosperous future and we could get anything we wanted but I didn’t study in order to torture innocent people. Even for science.”

He leans forward, sips from a huge mug that looks like a bucket and then continues. 

“Because of the risk of leakage and as a punishment for disobedience they passed an order to eliminate me. My friends from the Main Centre warned me just in time so I ran off as quickly as possible and made my way to the city through the forest. Shownu heard from Mingyu that out of the whole research team there was one guy who rejected the offer and he somehow found me in a godforsaken motel. I had nothing to lose any more so I said yes.”  
“And your parents?”  
“They were in the military as well and died during that Hwanung Hunt.” 

One way or another, Minhyuk is getting closer to people he lives under one roof with. At least now he can create their profiles in his mind basing on personal experience and observation. It applies to everyone except for Kihyun and Shownu who seem to not care about him. Minhyuk has no idea that during his trainings in the backyard he’s being attentively watched by the calm eyes of their leader who was standing in a shadow next to the window. 

Another driving lesson has finished. Their typical trio is sitting in the workshop and playing a word chain, the topic’s music bands. When Changkyun absolutely refuses to admit that he lost and asks for more time to think while swearing heavily the garage door lifts. Minhyuk is ready to see a frowning face of Kihyun who came to kick him out of here but he gets surprised when he instead looks at Shownu who’s wearing his grey track suit. 

“Would you like to join me?”   
“Sure.” 

It would be foolish to refuse. Actually Shownu interested him the most from the very beginning. On one hand, he is quiet and inconspicuous, on the other – the moment you rest your eyes on him for more than two seconds his inner power wraps around your mind. During last week Minhyuk only saw him a couple of times in the kitchen so the opportunity to talk to Shownu in person excites him. Will he show another side of himself like everyone else? 

“Heard you’ve been making progress.”  
“I learn fast,” Minhyuk doesn’t deny that and it makes leader’s lip corners go up a little. 

Dry grass under their feet crunches with a calming sound while they’re walking to the shooting range. Fresh aroma of the forest mixed with the smell of campfires from a settlement not far from here has become a common thing but it’s still quite pleasing. No match for the city perfume of rubber, dusty pavements and greasy oil coming from thousands of food tents. Even though Minhyuk lives in a place surrounded by live wires he feels light for the first time in his life while being brushed by the chill wind. Unexpected imprisonment gave him freedom. 

“I knew you’d fit in the Clan from the very first day,” says Shownu when they’re going down a little hill. “Just had to make sure in practice.”   
“How?” this question has been torturing Minhyuk all this time. “Even I couldn’t imagine that I’d start doing something like that. What could possibly make you think that I’d be a good match?”  
“You’ve got the gut and braveness. You saved Changkyun even though he was your enemy. Experience makes you notice little things like that in people,” leader stops in front of a little wooden gate to the shooting range and turns to Minhyuk. “You and I have something in common. I was waiting for you to learn the basics on purpose so you wouldn’t slack off.”

Completely focused on Shownu, Minhyuk didn’t see that the shooting range had changed however it would have definitely caught his attention from afar. The targets are different. And he knows them even too well. A circle of two white stripes, two black, two blue, two red and two yellow. A combination of colors that can’t be confused with anything. 

“They didn’t tell you about my weapon, did they?”  
“A bow,” Minhyuk gets it immediately.   
“It’s all started with a bow,” leader nods. “Perfect for sneak attacks in forested areas. But it’s too inconvenient for normal missions.”   
“Then it’s a crossbow,” Minhyuk scoffs. “Damn, I’ve been racking my brain so hard. I thought you use a grenade launcher or something.” 

They come forward to a wooden rack on which there are two long white bows with recurved tips and blue handles that have little black tubes sticking forward. 

“Looking familiar?”  
“Recurve bows with nice center stabilizers,” Minhyuk slides his fingers across lower limb. “We only had two of them back in the orphanage. I had to shoot a traditional recurve one before they let me participate in competitions.”  
“At least not a traditional Korean bow.” 

Minhyuk laughs. A traditional Korean bow looks like an almost complete circle – its limbs are bent back so hard they are about to touch each other. It’s easy to carry and shoots pretty strong but using it nowadays is a little troublesome. 

“Wanna shoot?”  
“Hell yeah.”

Minhyuk’s eyes start sparkling. The only part of his life in the orphanage that he missed was archery. When he was a kid he would imagine himself being a great warrior who conquers new lands. Only at these moments he felt at least a little bit strong and let his imagination build his own world in where he could just live and create instead of surviving and locking up all his wishes and desires. A life of an adult who has to pay for literally everything didn’t grant him such opportunity. 

Minhyuk picks up a black arm guard that is a thin piece of aluminum shaped like a long eight without holes. He skillfully puts it on the left forearm tying it with special laces – protection from a string burning his skin when it bounces. 

“A leather one would look more badass.”  
“Comfort is better than looking badass,” responds Shownu doing the same thing. “You can take a leather glove for your right hand if you prefer it over a finger tab.”

Now ex-delivery guy has a choice. He looks at the equipment in front of him and in the end chooses a blue finger tab that looks like a ring. He prefers tight fixing. 

It’s pretty unusual to hold carbon arrows. They were given cheap wooden arrows that would break after two or maximum three shots. The weight of the bow pulls his hands down in a pleasant way. Minhyuk stands with his left side pointing towards the target and places his feet shoulder-width apart letting his body remember the right stance. He fits the arrow notch onto the string and puts it on the arrow rest sliding under the clicker. The moment it clicks Minhyuk closes his left eye and aims. Because of the strain his right hand starts shaking due to not being used to such tension. Deep inhale and the arrow rips through the air. 

“Six points,” announces Shownu. “Not bad taking into account you haven’t practiced for a long time.”

The arrow pierced through the lower part of the target at the second blue stripe. Minhyuk clicks his tongue. 

“Well at least I didn’t miss. Or I would’ve run away to my room crying.” 

Shownu swiftly exhales through his nose when he hears this comment – not a laughter, but a good sign. He comes to Minhyuk from behind, puts one hand on his scapula and supports Minhyuk’s bow arm with another. 

“Drop your left foot back a little,” Shownu slightly pushes Minhyuk’s foot with his sneaker to the right distance. “Your shoulders and feet must be parallel to the shooting line. Stand straight up, but don’t puff your chest out. Flatten your lower back.” 

It was strange for Minhyuk to feel someone so close. Especially from behind – his instincts are immediately alarmed. However the warmth on his back makes him trust it. He follows directions knowing that the person next to him wants to help. Shownu won’t hurt him. 

“Turn your head to the left, chin up a little bit more,” leader’s voice is quiet yet husky covering up the forest rustling in his ear. “You’re holding the bow and the string well but lift your right elbow, keep it aligned with the arrow. And when you’re aiming press your hand under your jawbone, your index finger must be near the corner of your mouth.”  
“The anchor point.”  
“Exactly.” 

Shownu makes a step back. Cold wind bites Minhyuk’s back again. He hears the clicking sound, squints a little while aiming and in the middle of exhaling shoots. The arrow’s nock is wobbling at the background of the inner red stripe just a couple of millimeters away from the outer yellow. 

“Eight points almost nine. You definitely do learn fast.” 

A smile blooms on Minhyuk’s face on its own. He glances at Shownu and then back at the target. A little personal win on his way to perfection. His wounded pride successfully healed. As a result, his mood jumped so high it crossed the line of formalities and restrictions. 

“Come on, Hawkeye, now it’s your turn to show what you’ve got,” he slightly hits Shownu’s shoulder with his knuckles and points his chin at the bow. “Cause, you know, I can run my mouth well too and I can give you any bunch of baloney like nobody’s business.”

This time Shownu chuckles. Rude but fair. He accepts the challenge, walks to the wooden rack and takes his common position getting everything ready. Satisfied, Minhyuk crosses arms over his chest, mind cheers in triumph. Finally he can openly take a look at Shownu. 

Of course nothing has really changed in him in these several days. He still looks the way Minhyuk saw him for the first time and the way he remembered him but now little details can be seen. For example, in his hair brushed to the side there’s a narrow streak of white hair on his temple. Ex-delivery guy knows that he’s not older than thirty but apparently the life granted him with experience of a fifty years old. 

Shownu’s face is rather long but not wide: neat cheekbones and long chin. Lips are a little plump, the color almost matches the skin tone but it shifts more to the dusty pink hue. Eyes aren’t big but his gaze is captivating because of that calm power it has. And even though there’s a thin scar not far from his ear and a healed old split on his eyebrow Minhyuk clearly realizes that he’s handsome, attractive even. The more you look the more appealing his face seems. 

Meanwhile Shownu is ready and is aiming. He relaxes his fingers letting the arrow pierce through the air and go through the plastic foam. 

“Okay, hats off to you,” Minhyuk throws up his hands. “You’d win all the teddy bears in a shooting gallery.” 

Bull’s-eye. Shownu puts the bow back on a wooden rack and turns to Minhyuk.

“Tell me honestly, you don’t like shooting a gun, do you?”

This question caught Minhyuk completely off guard. He’s confused but tries not to show it. How should he answer? More precisely, what’s the right answer? It takes him one look into another person’s eyes to understand that the man standing in front of him prefers honesty over rightness. 

“No, I don’t.”  
“And do you like shooting a bow?”

Minhyuk unconsciously touches a bow-string with his fingers. 

“I do.”

Shownu nods. Actually, he can understand him. He’s also an archer after all. Leader doesn’t have to be violent and has a right to have his psychological weaknesses that he compensates with psychological tricks. Bullets are associated with murders whereas arrows are associated with hunting and survival. 

“When you manage to get five consequent bull’s-eyes you’ll get your own crossbow. How about that?”

Minhyuk’s eyes widen in surprise and then he squints with skepticism tilting his head to the side. 

“You promise?”  
“I promise.” 

The handshake is warm. Shownu’s hands are rough but are almost burning. Exactly what Minhyuk’s cold and scratched fingers need. 

Doing something for the first time is always scary. Especially when it’s dangerous to your life or to other people. The day of the mission has come too fast, feels like all the training just merged into one smudged spot in time and took no more than two days instead of two weeks and a half. It’s the first time Minhyuk got out from the Lair. It’s also the first time in his twenty five years when he intentionally went to the place where murders would happen. All his moral preparations are disappearing. 

Due to the strong demand by Kihyun Minhyuk was left in the car to wait for them with a Glock in his hands just in case. His main objective was to watch the perimeter and wait for Kihyun, Shownu and Wonho who are to do all the work. On one hand, Minhyuk isn’t in danger and doesn’t need to be looked after, but on the other hand his nerves started losing it. He’s tapping on the wheel like crazy because waiting is absolutely exhausting. When the shots fired his stomach began to ache. Gloomy weather worsened the atmosphere even more. 

“Oh fuck…” 

Suddenly a car showed on a backroad right on the other side of the plot. Four men with M4 rushed out and entered the back gate. Minhyuk immediately switches on an earpiece to report it to others but nobody answers. The bad feeling makes his stomach hurt harder. A backup wasn’t a part of their plan, bearing in mind that the number of enemies is five times as many as theirs. They decided to work stealthily and start a mess only when they are detected. And now there are “guests” which he can’t even report. He was told to sit there and wait, what can he do? 

An automatic gunfire makes him jump in his seat. Indistinct screams are heard from the yard. This is obviously not good. The danger has increased many times over and something inside him howls. No, he can’t just sit here. Minhyuk opens the door and gets out of the car. Or can he? He looks at the sky in a color of a wet pavement. Getting into the middle of a blood feud when just a month ago you were delivering packages and your main problem was to get as many orders as you can just to gather enough money to pay the rent. But now everything is different. He is different. Two weeks of trainings couldn’t be for nothing. How long is he going to be scared? 

Making his way through the yard and cautiously looking around Minhyuk holds onto his gun so tight as if his life was depending on it. He gets frightened when he sees a dead body on the ground but the thought of how many bad things this guy had probably done gives Minhyuk confidence so he just passes by coldheartedly. He deserved that. 

The area is cleared and the main theater of the fight is up ahead. Steps and gunshots are becoming louder as he comes closer to the outhouse. That’s good. It means they’re still alive, it means they still stick to the plan more or less. His ears get pierced by Kihyun’s distinct scream and a sound of falling body. Then it’s impossible to figure anything out because of the swirling bullets and rumble. 

Minhyuk runs to the corner at full speed. This is the last part separating him from the main field. When everything gets quiet he peeks out and sees Kihyun sitting on the ground and holding his bleeding thigh. The moment the others lifted him up by the arms a man that came out of nowhere kicks Shownu’s face with a heavy boot making him fall down to the side. 

“You move even a smidge,” snarls the man drawing a shotgun. “I’ll shoot the fuck out of your brains.” 

That’s bad, that’s definitely very bad. They weren’t prepared for any gangsters with shotguns. Minhyuk’s hands are shaking so hard it’s surprising that the pistol still isn’t on the ground informing everyone he’s here. Even when he met murderers for the first time he wasn’t that terrified because he didn’t really have time for that. He can’t just stand here and watch them being shot down like some sort of prey, he has to help. One precise headshot and everything will be over, they’ll be able to get out of here. However he doesn’t even have the strength to lift up his Glock and aim. How can he possibly take away someone’s life? 

Unconscious leader is laying on the ground not moving. The gangster smirks and spits at his direction, then points his shotgun at Wonho and then at Kihyun. 

“Pick up this piece of shit and drag him there, to the van. And no funny business or your friend will have to stuff your fucking body into a bag.” 

Subsequent events happened so fast Minhyuk forgot he has to breathe. Just when the man turned to the injured Shownu suddenly jumps up and rushes at him. A loud shotgun shot didn’t touch anyone except for the house wall at least this time. However the stranger reacts right away and kicks Shownu to the stomach jumping back so he can see everyone. 

“I fucking warned ya!”

Shotgun’s muzzle points at Shownu who clenches his jaws. There are merely two seconds between him and death. A chaotic tornado of thoughts swirls in Minhyuk’s mind. He can’t let him die. He has already lost everyone he could and losing the man who filled his pointless life with a little bit of purpose would be too unbearable. 

The pistol is thrown away. Minhyuk doesn’t have time to use it anyway. He doesn’t need a weapon. He rushes forward and stretches his arm. The man notices him and strives to make a shot but that spare second for changing direction was more than enough. Looking like azure electrified water a flow of Energy not only pushes him away with a firm shield but presses him against the wall that has a hook sticking out. He wheezes with struggle and the blood running down his ripped open stomach already forms a puddle under his severely wounded body with torn flesh falling apart. All eyes are on Minhyuk who’s breathing heavily. 

“Holy fucking shit,” gasps Wonho not believing his own eyes. “He’s a Hwanung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Korean mythology Hwanung is the son of Hwanin, the "Lord of Heaven". He is the founder of Gojoseon, the first kingdom of Korea and that's why I chose to call my "special people" like that implying that their powers are divine


	5. Chapter 5

A square detector on a utility pole turns red and starts flashing. A horrifying siren rings over the street as if someone was bumping two sheets of metal into each other. The sound that Minhyuk was afraid of more than anything in the world. Pure terror turns his limbs into stones, he can only look at the reflection of red flashes in the window with completely lost expression on his face. 

“Let’s get out of here. Now,” orders Shownu who was the first one to come to his senses and who rushed to help carry injured Kihyun. “Minhyuk, bring the car to the back gate. Minhyuk? Minhyuk!” 

Hwanung twitches and gives him a confused look as if he just woke up from a long sleep and couldn’t understand what’s going on. 

“The car. Bring it to the back gate, we have to leave immediately,” leader pronounces every word slow and clear breaking through the wall of despair that wrapped around Minhyuk’s mind.  
“Car… yeah, the car got it now okay,” Minhyuk shakes his head pulling himself together, looks around and runs back to the car stumbling. 

Hand is tingling like someone keeps poking it with burningly cold needles. The power that had been constrained for a very long time is overflowing and it takes enormous efforts to calm it down and force it to get back to the depth of his body. The same is happening to his thoughts. Once you kick an anthill an incontrollable chaos rises. You can only cover it with a glass cover in order to stop a disturbed ant colony from running away. That’s exactly what Minhyuk does. He locks up his thoughts that are thrashing around and doesn’t let them take control over him otherwise he will lose control of himself. 

Kihyun is seated at the back leaning on a door and with his knees bent and feet placed on a seat to stop the bleeding at least a little bit. Shownu gets behind the wheel, Wonho jumps in next to him and Minhyuk has nothing to do but sit with Kihyun. The car immediately takes off ripping the soil. Wonho makes a call. 

“Yongguk, you’re at home? We’ll be there soon, there’s a gunshot to the thigh,” pause. “No, it’s still there. All right, be ready.” 

Wonho goes through the glove compartment, takes out a gauze and gives it to sullen Kihyun. 

“Hold this against the wound.”

Dark-green trees pass by the window rapidly merging into one dirty spot. The atmosphere is tensed, nobody expected the mission to end like that. Minhyuk can’t find the courage to give any comments about what happened and Shownu just shortly says “We’ll talk about this at home” when they drive into the highway and slow down making sure nobody’s following them. A new life order has just established in the Clan and almost right away another unexpected changes knocked on their door. And again everything’s because of Minhyuk who clenches his teeth, shuts his eyes tight and freezes looking more like a statue than a human. 

After long twenty minutes the car goes through a tunnel and turns to the direction of a settlement that consists of huge mansions which seem almost identical. When they stop in front of the third building’s gates they smoothly open letting them drive into a courtyard where two men are already waiting for them. Shownu and Wonho go out, shake hands with them and help get Kihyun out. A man with a pale skinny face wraps Kihyun’s arm around his shoulder. Another guy gets surprised when he sees Minhyuk but instead of asking question politely nods to him. Then he turns to Shownu.

“He will need time to recover. We’ll bring him back tomorrow.”   
“No,” sharply objects Kihyun flinching in the man’s arms. “I can’t miss the Council, not this one. You’ll give me stitches and let me go. I can handle bandaging myself.” 

While they’re waiting for Kihyun the rain starts drumming on the car’s roof. Shownu turns on the heater when in the rearview mirror he sees that Minhyuk wraps himself up in a jacket pulling sleeves over his hands. But Minhyuk isn’t cold because of the low temperature. The realization of what has happened hits him like an ice tsunami. 

“I killed a man,” he finally says in a raspy voice full of howling helplessness.  
“It’s common these days,” cynically responds Wonho, his forehead pressed against the window while he’s thinking about something.   
“He deserved it,” Shownu turns his head and looks at him over right shoulder. “He would’ve killed us all if you hadn’t done it. You saved us.” 

Minhyuk locks eyes with him for a second and then lowers his head even too cautiously. The unspoken things make the air feel like it consists of shattered glass. 

“It’s always hard to justify and accept yourself after the first time,” Shownu gently touches Minhyuk’s knee with his fingers. “Have some rest. The day isn’t over yet.” 

Which translates to “Get ready for the difficult conversation”. Minhyuk likes talking unless it’s about him because he hates telling about himself. The reason is he always has to lie. His whole life he’s been lying and lying only because the truth will kill him. This is the reality of Hwanungs in the Zone. His reality. 

Kihyun is back after forty minutes. The man with low voice who nodded to Minhyuk earlier helps him get into the car. Later Hwanung will learn that this is Yongguk – the leader of the Clan Six and also a doctor for the members of allied Clans. Despite partnership and good relations he doesn’t let anyone into the mansion besides his guys. They even transport the injured themselves so only they can see a part of the first floor: the surgery and the room where they rest. Nobody has any information about the insides of the house and about the Clan’s resources. 

They get to the Lair in absolute silence. Shownu sends Wonho to check the territory in case someone decided to risk their lives and break into the Lair and takes Kihyun to his room. Nervous Minhyuk is standing next to the stairs waiting for Shownu and then falteringly grabs him by the elbow. 

“Sorry. I know that I cause a lot of troubles, but… I lied because I was just protecting myself.” 

Leader’s concentrated gaze softens for a moment. 

“I understand. Go wash up, eat or have some sleep if you want. We’ll start the Council when the others come back.” 

Cold water doesn’t really clear his mind. Minhyuk washes his face over and over again until his freezing fingers go numb. And everything inside is shaking even harder than on the first day here. Showing his true self was scarier than dying. Since the day he was born he’d been constantly told one thing: he can’t let anyone know about his true nature. He can’t use his powers. Even if he thinks that no one can see or hear him, even if it looks like there’s no detectors around – once you let your Energy flow this is the end. Hwanung feels like he’s been stripped naked, tied up to the pole and set between the targets in the shooting range. 

He’s sitting on a bed and blankly looking at his hands. It was the second time he let the Energy go out. And it was the second time it ended up with death. Maybe the Government is somewhat right when they call Hwanungs monsters. Minhyuk’s moral values get more and more vague every day. He can’t distinguish saints from criminals anymore because he’s not able to classify even himself. 

The moment of truth comes quicker than he’d like it to. When the car with other members parks behind the house Minhyuk humbly leaves his room and goes down to the Council room where Shownu was already sitting at the head of the table. Confused men who still didn’t know the reason for a sudden Council take their seats. Kihyun arrives the last holding onto walls and chairs to maintain his balance. That’s when the Chuncheon team realizes that something serious has happened. 

“As you see things didn’t go exactly as planned,” Shownu takes the floor. “They managed to call the backup that the informer told us nothing about. I’ll deal with him myself.”  
“Mingyu got a notification from the office that a detector went off in your area,” Jooheon interrupts him. “They recruit Hwanungs from the Citadel as gang members now or what?” 

Silence falls on the room. Minhyuk feels like his throat is covered with brackish ice crust. He has to gather all the tiny pieces of braveness together and say it. He has to openly tell everyone about who he really is. 

“It was me,” he finally says not daring to lift up his head.   
“What?”  
“I am a Hwanung. The detector went off when I used the power.” 

For a couple of seconds it seems like the sound in this world disappeared completely. Absolutely nothing can be heard, not even the lost-lasting forest rustling can break through the thick walls and absurdness of the spoken words. 

“Yeah, it’s really fucking funny and stuff,” Changkyun makes a fake laugh being the first to unfreeze. “But Kihyun got fucking shot and I’m pretty damn curious about what the hell happened back there.”   
“You know what else is fucking funny?” breaks in Wonho. “That hadn’t he been a Hwanung and hadn’t he used his powers all of us would’ve got shot right into foreheads.” 

The others begin to realize that nobody’s joking. They exchange concerned looks. Hyungwon who was sitting at Minhyuk’s right turns to him.

“Are you really a Hwanung?” he asks quietly. 

Minhyuk gloomily nods several times, closes his eyes and heavily exhales through clenched teeth. He’s ready for any kind of reactions. He will accept everything because there's nothing he can change now. 

“How did you survive?” Jooheon asks the question that was on everyone else’s mind.   
“My parents were Hwanungs as well. Both mother and father,” it’s so strange for Minhyuk to say these two words that his tongue barely moves. “They knew they’d be chased after so they kept my birth in secret and two weeks later handed me to my grandmother. Asked her to pretend like someone left me at her door and she decided to adopt me. Then they vanished. Granny explained that I couldn’t use the power otherwise we both would get killed so since then I’ve never let the Energy flow. That’s how I managed to hide it.” 

Now all of the members have their thoughts thrashing around like a smashed anthill. They have something to remember, to rethink, to estimate. You don’t get to meet a Hwanung everyday taking into account that they’re being hunted fiercely. Eventually the whole Clan comes to this conclusion at the same time. And one problem starts to be more and more apparent. 

“You sure you weren’t followed?” clarifies Hyungwon interlocking his fingers and entering the working mode.   
“Absolutely,” responds Shownu with confidence. “I’ve been checking it the whole time.”  
“They can track the car number. Hunters will do anything to catch him since the detector went off,” Jooheon’s voice sounds rather rough and Minhyuk tucks his head with guilt.   
“I’ll deal with the cameras,” says Changkyun strongly. “They won’t see dog shit outside the city area and changing the car number is a piece of fuck.”   
“By the way, they’ll probably increase the reward for turning in Hwanungs,” Wonho makes a passing remark casually shrugging his shoulders. “From eight millions to ten.”  
“Wonho,” leader warns him harshly.   
“What?” he immediately throws his hands in the air. “Just saying. I don’t sell friends.”   
“People,” corrects him Hyungwon with a sigh.  
“Yeah, people, exactly,” Wonho leans back on his chair. 

After Wonho’s words Minhyuk realizes the scale of the situation he got into. A big reward is promised for an alive Hwanung and he is surrounded by killers who he bounded with by accident. And who will be executed if they really get tracked down to the Lair. He’ll be taken to the Citadel, the Clan will be shot down like dogs for covering him. Minhyuk’s life is on the edge again, he feels thoughtful gazes of shimmering eyes on himself. 

Actually Hwanung could kill them all in a matter of seconds. They wouldn’t even have time to touch their guns. He could steal everything he wants from the house, stuff it into the car and hide somewhere in a remote village on the other side of the Zone. He could but he won’t. Unexpectedly all of them started to mean a lot to him even though he was just a useless rookie and a burden to them. He doesn’t have anyone else after all. 

“There’s nothing to think about,” Kihyun’s smooth but powerful voice suddenly rings out and Minhyuk’s heart stops in horror: it’s time for Kihyun to take his anger out on him and get rid of an annoying problem. “Nobody’s gonna just forget about the detector. If Hunters track us down they’ll send almost an army to kill everyone who helped you in one way or another. They’ll raze this place to the ground. The Government will pay a huge amount of money for you so we can’t let anyone know about it. Even if they find the Lair we’ve got enough weapons to fight back the first wave and then break away from the chase. That’s why you’re safe here.” 

Minhyuk wasn’t ready for something like that. He squints, rewinds the words in his mind again and realizes that he didn’t understand anything. Hwanung looks at Kihyun with confusion. 

“You won’t give me away?” he asks suspiciously.   
“You’re a part of the family and we don’t give each other away. What, you’re so stupid you still can’t memorize our Law?” Kihyun’s voice is filled with reproach.   
“The fuck are you talking about, White Head?” Changkyun chuckles crossing his arms on his chest. “You think you can get rid of us that easily?” 

Hwanung’s mental processor crushes. He either doesn’t get something or… he doesn’t get something. He doesn’t notice that almost everyone in the room starts smiling because of what has just happened. Kihyun recognized him as a part of the family? 

“You don’t even like me,” puzzled, Minhyuk says openly and seriously.   
“I don’t like spices but I don’t throw away pepper from our kitchen, do I?” replies Kihyun as honestly not denying it. “My personal feelings don’t play any role in making collective decisions. Besides I… I know that Hwanungs didn’t do anything wrong. Their power is not their choice.”

The Clan members get somber. They know the story behind Kihyun’s words that’s why they know the meaning. Thoughts strive back to their personal lives but Shownu gets members back to reality right away not letting them drown in themselves. 

“I think the Council can be considered over,” leader stands up. “Chuncheon team, report’s on my desk till tomorrow morning. Wonho, get back to the guard post. Minhyuk, to my office. The rest are free.”

Chairs are moving, someone’s yawning, boots stomping on the floor. The world is filled with sounds of life again. Once the door behind Hwanung closes, Shownu turns around half way to his desk. He looks calm as usual although this day actually made a mess of him almost the most. After all, the leader is the first to be responsible for the results of every mission and today he was about to lose a part of his Clan including himself. 

“Like I said, Kihyun is not who he appears to be,” he says slowly. “We aren’t united solely by hatred.” 

The office is much more separated from the other world than the Council room. Here is a completely different world with its own special atmosphere. Lingering, chill and rather dim. Smells like strong black tea with a hint of mint. 

“We’ll talk at the shooting range tomorrow but there’s something I want to say right now. You saved me to your own detriment. Thank you.”  
“You saved my life,” Minhyuk smiles with exhaustion. “I couldn’t just watch your life being taken away, you know.”

Hwanung’s eyes are tired, shoulders bowed. There’s a scratch on his left cheek that he got during the training. His hair, as white as lilies of the valley, is slightly tossed and falls on his eyes that seem completely black and that look at Shownu with trust. At Shownu who despite his own principles can’t help but give in just a little. He lightly puts his warm hand on Minhyuk’s cheek barely touching it. 

“I won’t let them get to you. Don’t you even bother thinking about it. Here you are under my protection,” leader carefully slides his finger under the scratch then pulls himself up and makes a step back. “Have some rest. You’ve had a tough day.” 

When Minhyuk is in his bed wrapped up in a blanket he still feels that touch on his skin. This is so strange to him. He won’t be sold like cattle, he won’t be thrown away, he’s _under protection_. And probably for the first time in his life he really believes in it. 

The morning comes surprisingly fast. However when Minhyuk gets up he realizes that it’s midday already. The kitchen is empty, there’s only a high stack of dishes in the sink. Hwanung clears everything up after breakfast and heads towards the exit. As always, you can’t see Wonho unless you lift up your head. He’s laying on his favorite thick beam with a book in his hand and swinging his leg in the air. There’s a glass of wine on a beam to his right and a dagger on a beam to his left. 

“Here comes the Sleeping Beauty,” he waves with a red ribbon used as a bookmark. “Lucky bastard. I wish I could lay in my bed this much time.”   
“So you could drink another bottle of wine instead of sleeping?”  
“You feel me, my dude.” 

Wonho approvingly snaps his fingers and Minhyuk gets relieved a bit. Seems like the way he was treated didn’t change. He was afraid that they’d stay away from him, ignore or judge him but looks like everything’s fine. He just turned out to be not so ordinary person, nothing more. 

On his way to the shooting range Minhyuk stops by the workshop in where he meets the butt of Jooheon who was cleaning the backseat of the car and Changkyun who was seating on a workbench. He stares at the notepad with a very confused face while chewing on a pencil. 

“So we’ve got this shit going on,” he explains after greetings. “Kihyun can’t really move now but someone’s still gotta buy groceries and shit. So now it’s mister neat freak and mine pain in the ass. You need something from the market? Don’t think about money we use the Clan’s budget.”

Minhyuk thinks hard. Due to the circumstances he grew up in he’s not picky at all and eats not for taste but for staying alive thus he doesn’t have any special preferences. However there’s one thing that he’d buy about three times a year to treat himself.   
“Pomegranate juice.”  
“For real?” Changkyun whistles. “Holy fuck, I know that you’re a Hwanung and stuff but you’ve got a weird taste, man.”  
“I like pomegranates,” Minhyuk shrugs trying to hide that it’s freaking him out to be called that.   
“So do I,” maknae nods and points at the armory door with a pencil. “Those that blow up fuckers into pieces. Get it? PomeGRENADES.”  
“Listen, leave the guy alone,” Jooheon gets out of the car wiping sweat of his forehead. “He’s still getting used to guns and you’re fucking his brain with explosives. Don’t scare him before time.” 

Changkyun rolls his eyes and pretends to shoot himself in the head dramatically showing that okay he won’t do that again fuck you sissies. Minhyuk’s mood goes up though the nervousness inside doesn’t calm down. Shownu is waiting for him at the shooting range. Yesterday they arranged to meet there around midday not choosing specific time. As if back then Shownu already knew that Minhyuk would sleep for more than thirteen hours. And even though the conversation ended on a positive note it’s obvious that leader wouldn’t set a personal meet up with him without a reason. 

Shownu is sitting on a bench facing the targets. His wide shoulders in a black hoodie impressively stand out at the background of grass resembling dry corn. When he hears footsteps he moves his head to the right a little and taps hand on a place next to him. Minhyuk stops his eyes on their leader for a second and sits down. The wind coming from the forest pleasantly tosses his hair. 

“How are you doing?”  
“It’s weird that everybody knows the truth and kinda nerve-wracking,” responds Hwanung honestly; he decided to always be sincere with Shownu. “But I’m fine. Feel easier even.”

You have to keep too many details in your head when lying. You have to remember what to say and how to say it, which emotions you should add and most importantly you can’t mix up things you’ve already said. It’s a constant strain especially when the revealed truth will very likely kill you. Besides, just the fact that you have to hide some information itself makes you feel bad. 

“We took down all detectors within the radius of two kilometers,” informs leader getting to the point right away. “Now you don’t have to constrain yourself. Can you show me the power?”  
“No,” Minhyuk’s response is quick and tough. “No, absolutely not. I can’t control it and the last thing I want is to hurt you or to destroy everything in here.”   
“You said you’ve never used it before,” notices Shownu and Hwanung remains silent. “If we go on the offensive it could be a great weapon,” then he adds after a few seconds. “You were able to control it yesterday.”

Minhyuk sighs heavily and prims his lips. He looks at his hands holding tight on the knees. These hands are cursed. Every second he feels the blood boiling inside his veins, feels the uncontrollable Energy that makes every cell in his body spark. The power wants to get out but he learned to keep inside its impulses that remind of a volcano ready to erupt any moment. The power scares the living hell out of him since he doesn’t know where its limits are and if there even are any limits. Because once it has already taught him a lesson he will never forget. 

“Yesterday I didn’t even think about what I was doing. I just knew that I didn’t have time to aim and shoot. I just…” Minhyuk stutters. “I just had to save you. It was the only thing ringing in my head, everything happened on its own.” 

The forest freshness fills the lungs to the brim. Shownu knows that the other person’s confession that leaves traces on his own soul isn’t over yet. If needed he’s ready to wait like that for the whole eternity: in a silence of the shooting range on the same bench with a guy who’s always fighting with himself. With a lost guy who’s wandering on a road of life trying to find his way but who unknowingly coordinated the wonky way of their leader who couldn’t take his eyes off of him for a several weeks in a row now. 

“When I was little my only friend was a dog. Golden retriever named Marko,” at last Minhyuk continues. “We were playing at the backyard, granny got back to the house and I couldn’t resist. I’d always been wondering what I could do with that forbidden Energy that always made my veins hum. At first everything was fine. A sparking ball appeared in my hands. I was able to move it between my palms but it kept getting bigger and stronger and I didn’t know how to stop it. I got so scared I just threw it away not even looking, just wanted to get rid of it. It hit Marko.” 

Minhyuk’s eyes seem empty and distant however something inside his chest started aching again. It was a memory he’d like to forget forever, erase it from his head. In his mind cinema of the past the most horrific footage that didn’t let him sleep well for a long time is being shown on a screen. 

“The only thing that was left of him was that red pulp. As if he was turned inside out and thrown to the ground to get dry. At that time they had just started to set detectors in a downtown and didn’t get to periphery otherwise the Hunters would’ve taken me and granny away in five minutes. This was when I decided not to use the power ever again. I hate it.”

He whispered the last words but so much rage was put in them that they sounded louder than any scream. Shownu quietly looks at his lowered head and tightly shut eyes half-covered by snow-white hair slightly blown by wind. He feels the pain mixed up with despair that Minhyuk let out for the first time with his skin. Hwanung has never had an opportunity to share it and now he found the courage to talk about it out loud. Shownu thinks that it’s admirable. Anyway, Minhyuk fully deserved his trust that is very uncommon to both of them. At least it used to be yesterday. Life taught them lessons in various ways. 

“They came for my sister.” 

Leader’s words are so sudden that Minhyuk turns immediately but Shownu is no longer looking at him. His eyes lay upon the trees in a distance. He used to live near the forest before too. Father would take him into the woods for hunting and it’s probably the only part of his past he doesn’t want to forget. 

“She was a Hwanung as well. Let out the Energy by accident when she got very angry and we didn’t even have time to realize it when the Hunters broke in. My parents didn’t want to give her to them and there’s only one repercussion for that. They didn’t kill me only because they wanted to show what happens to those who protect Hwanungs. I was ten.” 

Actually he’s already accepted what had happened. It’s been almost twenty years, after all, the emotion blocking operates automatically. This event made him who he is today – the leader of the Clan that fights against the Government which destroys Hwanungs and all the people who have any ties to them. Someone has to do it because day by day the control is infiltrating lives of ordinary civilians more and more. Any connections to the rest of the world are prohibited, nobody can leave the Zone without a special permit, the internet is being closely watched and anything foreign is not available. 

They take away Hwanungs to the Citadel because they are different from other people due to their powers. What if Hunters start taking away everyone who’s even slightly different? They can’t let that happen. Only such thoughts make Shownu go forward not letting his soul drown in the sea of his grief. Hunters really did teach him a lesson: “Kill those who would kill you before it’s too late”. 

“Why did you tell me this?” pushes out Minhyuk, shocked.  
“So it’s fair. You deserved to hear the truth for telling me the truth. I understand that it’s really hard to talk about it.” 

Hwanung looks at his hands again. He realizes that it’s not the only reason. Shownu got broken down. It’s terrifying even to think of the pain he’s been carrying inside after what happened. They wanted to threaten him but he didn’t let them. Since childhood leader’s got one strong trait: no way he’s gonna let anyone control him. Not people nor emotions. 

“Stay back.” 

Minhyuk stands up and makes three heavy steps forward. The Government has destroyed thousands of lives, thousands of families. All those who are involved in it deserve to be paid back the same way. And if Hwanungs will be the ones who strike back it will be more than fair.

It’s scary and uncomfortable but Minhyuk really wants to rid himself of the shackles of the past that were pressing him to the ground, forcing him to kneel down. If his life happened to change drastically then he has to change too otherwise he won’t be able to fit in and will get thrown overboard. 

Hwanung closes his eyes gathering thoughts together. The Energy feeling that the time has come excitedly starts boiling however Minhyuk isn’t excited at all. He opens his eyes, stretches the arm bending fingers a little bit and hesitates for about a minute. He tries to shake off the horrifying memories. When Minhyuk manages to control himself he breathes in and out and then lets the Energy get out aiming for the target. 

Of course it didn’t go as he planned. Anxiety weakens the control that was little and helpless itself. The flowing power is so strong it pushes Minhyuk back. Shownu who was standing behind catches him without delay not letting him fall down. He holds Hwanung tight against his chest. Minhyuk’s eyes are wide open and astonishingly look at the ripped soil one meter left from the target. He breathes heavily. If a person was standing there he would’ve got torn into tiny pieces. 

“Are you okay?” Shownu leans forward and tries to look at his scared face.   
“Yeah,” Minhyuk says after a pause and glances at his shaking hands. “Yeah, I guess… I told you I can’t control it.”  
“Everything’s fine. You just don’t have enough experience,” Shownu loosens the grip but doesn’t let go and instead puts his hands on Minhyuk’s shoulders lightly squeezing them. “Nothing bad happened. You’re doing great, Minhyuk.” 

Hwanung evens his breath and realizes that it’s really not that bad. The power still scares him but it doesn’t bring him to the hysteria anymore. At least he can control the direction of the Energy more or less. His body is pleasantly empty, there’s no tension caused by permanent constraining left. Unusual lightness fills him up. Shownu’s hands are still on his shoulders, Minhyuk feels his warmth on his back and it’s rather calming, comforting even. 

“Thanks for catching me.”  
“I won’t let you fall down.”


	6. Chapter 6

To everybody’s surprise, the morning begins not with breakfast but with the Council. They gather together and discuss things rather frequently lately, it’s getting stressful. When members take their seats Shownu interlocks fingers just like he always does and announces his news. 

“I’ve been thinking a lot about it, I’ve been doubting but in the end I’ve decided that it would be the right thing to do. Today we’re going to the Carat Clan to openly tell them about everything.” 

Everyone widen their eyes in shock. They look at Shownu in a way as if he said that the Earth is flat. Kihyun who is usually very tolerant towards their leader couldn’t hold back an astonished gasp. He narrows eyes with disbelief. 

“Are you out of your mind? We’ve just agreed to keep it within the Clan and now you want to inform another twelve people about that?”  
“That’s’ bullshit,” Jooheon actively waves. “I could understand telling Seungcheol, but everyone? Come on.”  
“If someone slips up Minhyuk’s fucked,” Changkyun joins them. “We’re all fucked.”

Hwanung’s gaze is filled with fear and judgement. It was a very hard task to open up to his own Clan not to mention a bunch of complete strangers. He feels like he’s being put on display in a museum just like an exotic beast. If it’s not a joke or if Shownu isn’t gonna provide decent arguments Minhyuk’s gonna be really disappointed in him and his own ability to read people because disappointment is the only thing he has. His opinion still can’t change anything in this house. 

“Our cooperation with them is based on trust that I don’t want to undermine,” Shownu has to raise his voice when everybody starts talking at the same time and members get quiet. “If Minhyuk’s nature accidently and unexpectedly gets revealed during an attack on the Citadel things can go wrong and the consequences will be irreversible. We’re taking a risk, but their support and ties to the authorities can help us protect our Clan against Hunters.”  
“What guarantee do we have?” asks Hyungwon after thinking for a little.   
“None,” leader responds honestly. “But you know Seungcheol and his attitude to the Law.”  
“You never forget something like that,” Wonho scoffs lifting his head. “In this regard even our Kihyun is no match to him.” 

They had breakfast anyway. The Council lasted about fifteen minutes and members came to an agreement eventually. Minhyuk calmed his mind down, thought about everything again and ended up tending to Shownu’s view along with the others. Maybe it’s really for the best. If leader trusts them then there are reasons for that. Minhyuk can’t get rid of another wave of anxiety but he’s been accompanied by discomfort his whole life so it’s something he can get used to. 

Turns out Jooheon didn’t waste his time. Throughout last two weeks he’s been upgrading and rebuilding Shownu’s off-roader and now all seven of them can fit in it. At around midday they’re driving on a highway under the milky sky. Dark-green trees that never change pass by the windows. 

“So that guy Seungcheol,” starts Hwanung after a while. “What’s he like?”  
“Doesn’t look like a ruthless killer if that’s what you mean,” responds Jooheon seating behind him. “He smiles a lot and he’s actually a good man. Very sociable, the type people are usually drawn to. That’s why he has lots of connections in the city.”  
“Things been rough on him and he’s still going through a lot,” adds Kihyun out of a sudden from the front seat. “He accepted some of the guys to his Clan when they were just teenagers. Maybe he didn’t take over their father’s role but the role of an older brother for sure cause they didn’t have any. He’d always been looking for money to feed them while teaching them everything he knew.”  
“And you’re gonna see one long-haired dude always following him around,” chimes in Changkyun and shakes his index finger. “That’s Jeonghan and he looks like a damn girl but he can kick your ass like a bat out of hell so you better keep your comments to yourself and tell us later.”   
“He’s like Seungcheol’s right hand?”  
“Aha, in all kinds of ways,” Wonho snickers from the backseat. “They’ve been dating for five years. If someone says something bad about Seungcheol and Jeonghan hears it usually nobody ever sees that person alive.” 

Tough reality of their dangerous world that Minhyuk has to accept. However now he doesn’t really have a very emotional reaction to such things. 

“And you mentioned that he has a very special attitude to the Law?” 

The car suddenly becomes very quiet after his words. Those who sit behind exchange looks. They have something to say but they’re not sure if they should. The car drives another dozens of meters before Shownu’s low voice breaks the silence. 

“Our Laws have same paragraphs and same punishments. There used to be thirteen members in their Clan. The youngest one, Chan, got tired of constant control and rules, but he didn’t have money to live on so he decided to turn his own Clan over to the police and get a reward as well as freedom. Police officers on the take informed Mingyu and Wonwoo immediately. Seungcheol didn’t have a choice.”  
“Hold on,” Minhyuk makes a short nervous chuckle. “You don’t mean that he…”  
“Shot him down in front of the Clan,” coldly declares Hyungwon and Minhyuk’s heart drops down in frustration.   
“But Seungcheol raised him, right? How could he do something like that? Did he really not care about him at all?”   
“He had to choose between the traitor and the whole Clan,” Jooheon explains with a somber face. “Chan was the one who didn’t give two shits whether they were alive or dead and Seungcheol was responsible for another eleven people. He couldn’t risk everything and he did what he had to do according to the Law. Otherwise the Law wouldn’t worth dog shit on a shoe.”  
“It wasn’t easy,” Shownu continues. “Almost a month Seungcheol didn’t talk to anyone. He basically had to kill a kid that he had taken care of and that he would have died for if needed. But it was his duty as a leader: to think of the common good as a matter of priority instead of his own feelings. I understand him.”

An unpleasant after-taste is left inside. Minhyuk acknowledges that it was a necessary measure, but he doesn’t comprehend how Seungcheol managed to find the inner strength to shoot a person he cared about. How did he feel afterwards? Did he hate himself? Did he regret doing it? How did the others feel? And someone had to clean everything and dispose of the body of someone they used to eat together at the same table. Did they hold his funeral? All these question that Minhyuk will never dare to ask make his head spin. The world is cruel especially when lives are at stake. 

In less than an hour their Hover drives into the territory separated from the forest by an enormously high iron fence. The area looks pretty similar to theirs however the Lair is completely different. The lawn is neatly manicured and on the left there’s a long row of closed garages. A wide red brick paver walkway is leading to the front door. 

The building itself was so big it could be called a penthouse. For most of the parts it has window walls made out of bulletproof glass. The blinds are shut in most of the rooms, but from a courtyard one could freely see a green living room that was also a home conservatory. Minhyuk notices two guys with rifles on the roof. The Clan obviously doesn’t skim on housing maintenance and the size of the house can be explained by the high number of members. It’s not easy to live together when there are twelve people in one building. Everyone needs their personal space. 

The car stops under a canopy meant for guests. When they get out and head towards the front door a guy in a light blue shirt tucked into black jeans is already coming to greet them. At first his face features seemed rather strange: deep-set eyes, narrow lines under lower eyelids and a lips contour was very indistinct which made them look like they don’t stick out at all and just stay in the same smooth line with a philtrum. But you would never call him repulsive. On the contrary, his face was pretty appealing. 

“Good to see you all,” he smiles friendly shaking their hands one by one and then comes to Hwanung. “You’re Minhyuk, right? I’m Choi Seungcheol, the leader of this Clan. Nice to meet you.”  
“Nice to meet you too.” 

Minhyuk smiles back not showing how confused he is. The man in front of him looks so welcoming and kind that he could be a successful realtor who is capable of garnering any client’s sympathy. His voice is soft and fruity and his face is almost radiant. Hwanung tries to imagine what it looks like when Seungcheol coldheartedly kills people and an unpleasant chill goes down his spine. 

Minhyuk was so focused on leader’s face that he didn’t notice that he himself was cautiously observed. Honey-brown eyes on a face with perfectly gentle features were scanning him through. Minhyuk realizes it too late. Only when that guy reaches out his hand. 

“I’m Jeonghan, the second oldest in the Clan,” his fingers are ice-hold and the grip is unexpectedly tight. “You can ask me all the questions.”  
“That’s good to know, pleasure to meet you,” Minhyuk doesn’t lose his face and responds calmly. 

Jeonghan rests his eyes on him for longer that the etiquette requires. He’s smiling but there wasn’t even a trace of the warmth that Seungcheol had. His cheekbones are high and bob cut hair that ends at the chin line makes his cheeks seem a little hollow. Jeonghan is very handsome but he’s radiating danger. His entire appearance screams without concealing: “I’m watching you. Make one suspicious move and you’ll find yourself in my crosshairs straight away.” 

Their company heads to the house. Halfway to the marble steps Seungcheol lifts his head, presses his index finger and thumb together, puts them in a mouth and whistles loudly. Minhyuk sees two guys on the rooftop disappearing. This is how the leader calls a meeting in this Clan. 

The inside of the house matches the outside. High ceilings, modern equipment, paintings on the walls, bright light and everything is perfectly clean. Air conditioners working full power tickle the skin. In the living room there is a white wooden grid with plants hanging off under the ceiling. Minhyuk notes that flowers, pot trees and vines are almost everywhere in the house and there is also a small well maintained garden at the backyard. He will later find out that Wonwoo is the one who runs that “green business” in their household. It’s his hobby to relieve stress. This humanlike trait makes Minhyuk reconsider his attitude towards this guy in a more positive way. 

The final destination is a spacious room right in the center of the house. Judging by a huge screen on the farthest wall and thick iron blinds Minhyuk deduces that this place is a home cinema as well as a dining room. A long table surrounded by chairs proves that. Eventually seats get taken. As expected, members are very diverse and all of them curiously eyeball Hwanung who tries to ignore their gazes. Seungcheol sitting at the head of the table takes the floor since he is the host. 

“Great to see our old friends who finally managed to visit us together being healthy and without casualties.”  
“Not really healthy actually,” remarks the guy with eyes looking like 10:10 on the clock and laughter choruses through the room.   
“Well, I hope Kihyun will get better as soon as possible. Now he really is a wise old bird, after all it’s pretty hard to find someone who’s never caught a bullet in our industry,” Seungcheol chuckles softly meanwhile people who sit near Kihyun pat his shoulders. “I’d like to congratulate you on the newest addition to the Clan, that’s a very important event even though the circumstances were rather unusual. I’d be happy if Minhyuk becomes a great brother to all of you.” 

Minhyuk awkwardly smiles and nods a few times to everyone. He can’t get over the tension inside him. It’s impossible to predict the Carats’ reaction although most of them look very friendly. Lots of them are much younger than him. 

“But you didn’t come here just to discuss politics over a bottle of bear, did you?”

Seungcheol’s eyes are insightful and endlessly serious. However kindly he may have treated their Clan he will fight to the bitter end for the safety of his guys. As well as Shownu who straightens his back and takes the initiative. 

“We’ve known each other for many years, Seungcheol, and I will always be thankful to you for helping me arrange everything I have now. I trust you and your Clan more than anyone and that’s why I hope you will understand us. I don’t wanna lie to you,” leader makes a pause checking the reaction: everybody was listening absolutely carefully. “During the operation back in Daejeon we got cornered and were about to get killed. It would’ve happened hadn’t we had Minhyuk with us.” 

The attention drifts to Minhyuk once again. He gathers pieces of his courage together to say the words that used to be the strictest taboo all his life for the second time. There’s no going back anyway. 

“I hit him with the Energy. The detector went off because of me. I’m a Hwanung.” 

Abrupt and short yet meaningful. Just like the last time the first reaction is silence. Some look at him with skepticism, some with shock. Seungcheol’s poker face scares the most. Half a minute passes and then people start exchanging agitated looks. 

“If that’s a joke…” Carats’ leader starts but gets interrupted by Jooheon.  
“Nobody jokes about this kind of things. Not in our community and you know that well.”  
“Then let him prove it,” a guy with round cat eyes lifts up his chin. “We don’t have any detectors. He must show what he can do, why should we trust an outsider?” 

The others nod in agreement. A buzz pipes up, members talk to each other loudly discussing something. 

“I can’t control it,” Minhyuk’s voice filled with despair. “I can show it in a field where there’s nothing that could be broken.” 

“I can also show you one huge thing in a field,” echoes from the other side of the table and someone sneers. Jeonghan who’s been quiet all this time leans over to Seungcheol and insistently whispers something for a whole minute. Seungcheol looks brooding, he glances at Shownu and after deep thought starts whispering something back while worryingly holding Jeonghan’s wrist. The latter shakes his head. Then leader asks him without a sound mouthing “You sure?” and he nods. 

“Well,” finally Seungcheol addresses everyone. “That was unexpected. I really do appreciate your honesty, Shownu, but you have to understand me. The Clan’s safety comes first.” 

People tense up. Kihyun narrows his eyes trying to predict which decision Seungcheol has made and what kind of consequences they’re gonna meet. But what happened next wasn’t even remotely similar to any of his suggestions. 

“You know that an ordinary human can’t touch the Energy without getting hurt, right?” asks Jeonghan looking at Minhyuk with challenge.   
“Yes, I’ve heard about it.”  
“Then it’s easy.”

Jeonghan holds out his hand, palm up. A second later an azure sparking whirlwind that reminds of electric current starts swirling around holding a shape of a wiggling orb. 

“You’re fucking shitting me,” crows Changkyun voicing his Clan’s thoughts.   
“You’ve got a fucking Hwanung and you didn’t say anything to us?” Wonho chortles with outrage. “Trust, honesty, yeah sure your fucking honesty isn’t worth a damn fuck. And I told you, guys, I freaking told you that we shouldn’t tell them anything. They don’t give two fucks about the alliance but we just like diligent Sunday school students we are immediately ran to them to confess everything.”  
“Wonho, cool down,” urged him Shownu demandingly cutting the air with his hand.  
“Are you gonna defend them now?”  
“I’m as pissed as you are, but I want to hear Seungcheol’s explanation.”   
“Let me guess,” Hyungwon opens his mouth for the first time. “It’s all because of Chan, isn’t it?” 

Seungcheol’s face gets dark in a second and so do faces of the entire Clan. Nobody likes to remember about it. It’s easier to pretend that nothing happened because here this topic has never and under no circumstances been mentioned. Until today. 

“I was the first to learn about Jeonghan. Later we told the members and I was about to fill you guys in,” Seungcheol holds back a heavy sigh and forces himself to put emotions aside making his voice as firm as possible. “Chan had tried to get Minghao to hand Jeonghan over to Hunters and split the reward but he’d refused so Chan decided to do it alone. Then Minghao came to me.” 

A guy with coal black hair covering his neck from behind clenches his jaws and lowers his head. Minghao who’s still being eaten by guilt even though he did the right thing. 

“We were betrayed by the kid we fed and raised. It doesn’t matter how much respect I have for your Clan I couldn’t risk my family. We took a hit from where we didn’t expect to get hit. For quite some time there were trust issues even between us, but we managed to get past over this. I do apologize if we offended you.” 

In the world that Minhyuk is gradually flowing into things are much more complicated than he expected. A large number of factors he never even thought of play their roles. Here life might be considered as currency that’s why your own life suddenly increases in price. At first each of them just wanted to survive. But as they were winning every day, every minute from death and other’s villainy together the most important task turned out to be not losing anyone along the way. And if they have to lie, hide something or kill an outsider for that their weapons are always ready. 

“Apology accepted,” responds Shownu on behalf of the entire Clan and nobody objects. 

Hwanungs kept staring at each other. If Jeonghan’s gaze is combative then Minhyuk almost looks at him with admiration. It’s the first time in his life he sees someone like him. Even more, this guy controls the power perfectly and this has always seemed absolutely impossible. 

“So what?” finally says Jeonghan. “Are we gonna test your claim or not?”  
“What happens if I touch it?”  
“If you really are a Hwanung then nothing.”  
“And if I’m not?”  
“At best, you’ll lose a finger.”

Minhyuk nervously swallows. What if he’s broken? What if something’s wrong with him and the Energy affects him the same way it affects ordinary people because he’s too weak? He just has nothing to compare himself to. Minhyuk questioningly looks at Shownu. He’s a member of the Clan now and he will do as their leader says. If he asks him to do it he will do, if he asks him not to he won’t. Shownu catches his eye and nods. 

“Okay, I’m ready.”

Jeonghan slightly moves his fingers and the orb starts floating towards frozen Minhyuk. The others are watching with great interest. Only a few citizens of the Zone had an opportunity to see this kind of stuff. The orb reaches Minhyuk and stops about twenty centimeters away from his nose. His bangs waver as if getting blown by a slight breeze. Minhyuk gulps and raises his hand. He jerks back shaking fingers halfway through, but forces himself to make up his mind. The orb turns out to be warm. His fingers go right through it but Minhyuk can swear that he feels some texture inside. His heart bounces in joy. Nothing’s wrong with him. 

“Feels nice, right?” Jeonghan’s face softens a little and he briefly smiles. “You’re a Hwanung that’s for sure.”

When the orb moves back Jeonghan carelessly waves his hand and it flickers vanishing with a cracking sound. The atmosphere becomes less tense. Minhyuk sees that hostility in Carats’ eyes wears off. Some of them even smile at him and one guy with funny cheeks waves at him. This is the way their reality works: attitude towards people changes depending on presence of a threat to the family. 

“Dinner’s gonna be ready in half an hour,” Mingyu stands up. “How many servings are we having?”  
“I hope nineteen,” Seungcheol warmly glances at Shownu. “It’s been so long since we’ve been together in a peaceful atmosphere. Will you stay?”   
“I don’t know about you guys but I’m staying,” Jooheon throws his hands in the air.   
“Mingyu is a great cook and we are in no rush,” Shownu nods.   
“Great,” Seungcheol gets up. “Hansol, Jisoo, get back to the position. Seokmin, Jihoon, you assist Mingyu in the kitchen. The rest are free to go until dinner time.”

When chairs start moving Minhyuk vigorously goes to the side opposite from his Clan. Carefully passing by the guys he still doesn’t know Hwanung rushes to Jeonghan who’s already at the doorway and spins him around. 

“I know that I’m a nobody to you and I will understand if you say no. But, please, can you teach me how to control the Energy? At least a little bit. I have no clue what I gotta do with it. Please.”

Seungcheol who was walking alongside of his Hwanung politely steps back hearing these words. Jeonghan thinks for a little, turns back and leaves the room saying “Follow me”. 

Dozens of doors pass by while they walk the long hallway. The house is really huge. Eventually they go out through a patio door. The backyard was divided into three sections: Wonwoo’s garden, sports area with a shooting range and an empty field that transformed into forest at the back. Minhyuk obediently follows his new mentor. 

Shownu stands at the doorway and watches lilies of the valley white hair that is rather hard to lose sight of. The moment he makes a step outside a hand grabs his shoulder from behind. 

“Let them,” Seungcheol friendly pats him. “They need some time together.”  
“I just went out for a smoke,” Shownu takes out a pack of cigarettes from his jacket. 

Seungcheol looks at him for a couple of moments and then shifts his gaze to Hwanungs who stopped in the middle of the field and were chatting. 

“Trust me, he’s safe with Jeonghan.”  
“I have no doubt,” Shownu lights up a cigarette and takes a drag while still watching a white lily of the valley in a distance.   
“It’s hard to take eyes off of a Hwanung, isn’t it?” Seungcheol chuckles. “If anyone understands you it’s me. So much power in such a fragile body. There’s so much shit in the world that you want to protect and save for yourself at least this little piece of magic.”   
“You’re too poetical for a person who can professionally shoot someone’s brain out using any kind of weapon.”  
“It happens when you stop living for yourself and find someone to live for instead.” 

Shownu doesn’t respond. The wind brings an inflorescence of unfamiliar scents that mixes with tobacco. The forest here is mostly coniferous and there’s a little pond not far away. A finished cigarette flies into the iron bucket next to the marble column.

“You down for some whiskey?”  
“Sure.”


	7. Chapter 7

Being alone with Jeonghan is strange. Minhyuk doesn’t know what’s gonna happen and what kind of temper his unexpected mentor has. Nobody from his Clan is around so he doesn’t even have moral protection. He doesn’t trust Jeonghan and Jeonghan doesn’t trust him. He informed Minhyuk about it right away. 

“I’m helping you out of solidarity,” Jeonghan swiftly swings his head to the left putting a strand of chocolate hair back from his face. “It’s hard to be a Hwanung. If you don’t wanna lose your mind then find someone in front of whom you will want to be yourself. And you better check that person up numerous times cause the only way to survive in our circles is to constantly watch your damn back since there’s always a bunch of shitbirds who are ready to stab it.”

Then Jeonghan stares behind him for some time. When Minhyuk notices it he turns around but only sees an empty terrace.

“What’s there?”  
“Your bodyguard entrusted you to me completely.”

At first, Minhyuk doesn’t understand what he’s talking about. However suddenly a name pops in his head on its own.

“Shownu?”

Jeonghan curves his upper lip. A precise hit on the first try says about a lot. Instead of giving any comments he rolls up his sleeves. 

“You can do nothing, right?”  
“I can let the Energy out, but I don’t know how to control it.”  
“This is what “nothing” means.” 

The coldness in his behavior relentlessly reminds of Kihyun. The difference is that Jeonghan looks down at him and fills up every word with a condescending smirk whereas Kihyun just pretends he doesn’t exist. But there’s no choice. Minhyuk got a burning desire to learn how to control his power and the only one who can help him is Jeonghan. And even though he’s rather harsh he agreed to spend his time for free – that’s a fact. 

“Don’t even hope that there’s a secret trick that will turn you into a super cool Hwanung,” his voice gains tough notes. “Everything depends on your dedication and readiness to work on yourself. How badly do you want it? How hard are you ready to push yourself? How far can you go? You decide.”

Has Minhyuk had enough of being afraid, running away and hiding all his life? Is he fed up with being scared of himself? Does he want to turn his curse into a weapon? Does he want to become someone who can protect others? The answer is absolutely yes. He’s tired of his fear so much he’s determined to fight it. 

“Let’s start,” commands Jeonghan extending his left arm, palm up. “Before doing something you gotta understand what exactly you’re about to do. Focus on your forearm. Feel every cell filled with the Energy.” 

Minhyuk does what he was told although since the day he was born he’s been doing nothing but pretending that there’s no Energy inside him. He keeps his arm up and stares at it trying to listen to his body. However because of the strain he feels nothing but muscle tension. A vein starts popping on a wrist. He notices that Jeonghan frowns in dissatisfaction and closes his eyes to clear away the distractions. He should try a different approach. 

Long thoughtful exhale. Shoulders slouch, relaxed fingers bend down to the middle of the palm, thighs that got stiff because of the unevenly distributed force soften. Minhyuk feels how a metrical pulsation runs down from his elbow to the very tips of his fingers. He grabs this sensation and tries to hold onto it. The pulsation gets shaped and now a distinct current circulates throughout the entire arm from fingers to the shoulder. Minhyuk opens his eyes and looks at Jeonghan with undisguised amazement. 

“It’s like water flowing through rubber tubes but… it’s all right under the skin. In my bones, veins, inside the whole arm.”  
“Maybe you’re not so hopeless,” stiffs his mentor who seems like he didn’t expect a positive result to appear that fast. “Now loosen the barrier just a little bit. The Energy mustn’t flow out. It’s to appear on the surface of your skin and stay within it.” 

Minhyuk fails to conceal fear in his eyes. He has no clue how to stop himself. Ones he gives in the power will take the lead. 

“The hell is that cowardly sheep gaze?” the steel in Jeonghan’s voice can literally cut the air into pieces. “Who’s gonna be afraid of a man who’s afraid of himself?”   
“If I won’t be able to stop…”  
“If you wanna guess instead of doing then go join the city fortune-tellers who rob morons blind with their big mouths. Keep trying till you make it, I got you here.”

There’s no escape routes. But maybe this is exactly what Minhyuk needed? Maybe he needed his excuses not to work so there’s no such option as delaying the difficult task? Hwanung hesitantly looks at his hand mentally commanding to brace himself. 

Nothing happens at first. Too little efforts were put. Gradually Minhyuk lowers his protection barrier more and more as if turning the gas stove knob. Fingers start shaking and his skin sparks with the frightening Energy. His body turns into a stone because of a paranoid thought “Please don’t lose control”. Minhyuk puts maximum efforts into ceasing any movements and fully focuses on the power. Even though the weather is rather chilly a sweat drop slides down his temple. 

“Turn it up,” orders Jeonghan adamantly. 

After some hesitation Minhyuk lets another wave to appear on the surface. Now there’s a bobbing layer of azure Energy that reminds him of sea foam above his palm. It looks oddly fascinating. Up until a loud laughter pipes up at the courtyard. 

Minhyuk flinches and gets distracted from the strict control. Irregular fountain of the Energy storms up immediately and burns leaves and twigs of a tree hanging out over them into ashes. Hwanung chokes on his own terrified gasp and due to the overflowing panic can’t even process what to do. But Jeonghan reacts lightning fast. He puts his hand close to the flowing Energy, takes over the control and shuts it down cutting the flow and then squeezing Minhyuk’s hand. 

“I told you I wouldn’t be ab-”  
“Everything worked out,” Jeonghan ends the rant at the very beginning before it turns into hysteria. “You had to let the Energy out and you did that. I had to interfere and I did that. Just as we agreed.”   
“You mean you knew it was gonna happen?” Minhyuk’s emotional locks crack one by one and he can’t even conceal the reproach in his voice.  
“Nobody could do it perfectly at first try, take it from me,” Jeonghan shakes back a hair strand and crosses his arms in a businesslike manner. “Try again.”

Eventually they missed the dinner. Minhyuk came back to his Clan only in the car when elongated shadows from the forest have been already crawling on the ground. The Carats returned to doing their usual routines. Jeonghan is musingly sitting on a desk in Seungcheol’s office. Leader’s hand is casually placed on his knee. 

“What do you think? About all of this.”

Hwanung remains silent for a while. 

“He can’t be underestimated.”

Seungcheol looks into his eyes with interest. 

“I know you from the ground up. You obviously didn’t like him at first. Where is this suddenly coming from?”  
“He’s not an idiot,” Jeonghan’s gaze is serious. “Whether I like it or not he does learn really fast. Even though he’s scared of himself.”  
“If Shownu trains him to be a warrior his presence will work to our advantage. The chances will increase drastically.”  
“We’ll take the risk anyway. There’s too much at stake for all of us.”

Changes entail even bigger changes. The setting of the Clan X has changed yet again. Minhyuk asked for a space for personal trainings that had to be separated from the main field to make sure he wouldn’t hurt anyone and thus could remain calm. Hurting someone is always scarier than hurting yourself: you’ll get eaten by your own conscience and the guilt will keep flashing in your mind. 

A fence in a shape of an unfinished rectangle appeared a little bit farther from the shooting range. Jooheon used gigantic metal plates that had been waiting for their time behind the shelves in the garage to build a simplistic shed without one wall. A new rule has emerged: do not enter the fenced area and the area in front of its opened end until you knock on the wall and get a positive answer. 

Shownu doesn’t know what exactly Minhyuk has been practicing and what happened during his prolonged training with Jeonghan. But once he saw the determination in Minhyuk’s eyes that wasn’t there before he gave his permission to Hwanung’s independent activities. Leader thinks that everybody deserves a chance to become better. Minhyuk hates his powers, but now he’s ready to tame them and use them for the greater good. Maybe he’s just found the way to accept who he is. 

From time to time muffled explosions are heard from the new training space and bright flares lighten the sky. In the first few days members would peek at the backyard with interest but later they got used to it and stopped paying attention. At lunchtime a tray with food appears next to the wall without exceptions. No one sees who brings it there but everybody knows it’s Kihyun. In terms of interpersonal communication his attitude towards the rookie is still cold however such act of goodwill happens every day. 

A week went by. Shownu gets a chance to see a white lily of the valley only in the evenings when tired Minhyuk shambles to his room. Actually, he really misses Hwanung’s jokes and his curious eyes that examine every new thing with childish greed. Usually Minhyuk listens to all the explanations of something new with a high concentration, his serious gaze continuously watches movements if the information includes practice. But during the break time he never misses an opportunity to stick in an intentionally goofy comment. It would give leader some strength and a meaningless hope for the best. 

When Shownu passes by the windows that face the backyard he catches himself trying to take a look of Minhyuk. Just to make sure everything’s fine and he doesn’t need any help. Their indirect interactions would usually end on that until one day Minhyuk showed up in his office in person. 

“Come with me,” he says with fire in his eyes and Shownu wouldn’t be capable of answering “no” even if he wanted to. The uncontainable triumph hiding behind Minhyuk’s smile is too attractive. 

They stay quiet while walking to the fenced area that looks completely different from the other parts of the field. The soil is turned and reminds of a battlefield. Huge potholes, mashed dirt, roots ripped out from deep down are scattered all over the ground along with broken twigs. At the open end of the shed there’s a target. 

“I’ve figured out how to control it.”

Minhyuk glances at Shownu with open trust. He’s looking forward to his approval, to his praise and he’s not even hiding that Shownu is the first one he wanted to show it to. Leader nods and curiously waits for the continuation. 

“Look.” 

Hwanung puts his hands together, breathes out slowly to release the muscle tension and concentrates on his palms. A few seconds later he opens them as if he was opening a book. An orb of the crushing Energy starts swirling. It doesn’t break up neither does it cross the limits Minhyuk set: control over the power has been painstakingly achieved. And what fascinates Shownu the most is that there is no fear in Hwanung’s eyes. He is satisfied with himself and patiently waits for leader’s reaction instead of being scared to make any movement. Confidence suits him perfectly. 

“I never doubted you could do it,” Shownu puts his hand on Minhyuk’s shoulder and squeezes it with encouragement. “Your perseverance proves that you’re a great warrior.”   
“That’s not all,” Hwanung smirks cunningly. 

He makes a step forward, lifts his head to focus on the target and after a couple of seconds places the swaying orb into right hand. The Energy slightly loses its shape because the control got weaker, but Minhyuk doesn’t give it enough time to go beyond the limits. He raises his hand in the manner of a baseball player and makes the throw. 

The Energy hits much lower than it was aimed to yet it’s enough to break the target into small pieces that go flying around. Shownu clearly didn’t see it coming. He stares at the destroyed parts with a stunned expression and then looks back at Minhyuk. 

“Did Jeonghan teach you that?”  
“No,” Minhyuk shakes his head. “He explained that the Energy can hold its shape and then I’ve got it worked out myself.”

Minhyuk stands in half-turn, shadow casts on the right side of his face making it look almost black while the other side is white like milk. Hair in a color of lily of the valley is a little messy, getting blown by a chilly wind from the forest. The resistance and resolve in his eyes are mesmerizing. Feels like he’s grown a few years older in a span of several days. Now the life force in him is overflowing and an astonishing freshness of the boiling blood highlights his personal charisma like never before. Hwanung looks like someone who’s ready to conquer the world if needed. However his soft smile that flourishes after Shownu’s words clearly states that he doesn’t need it. What he has now is more than enough for him. 

“You never cease to amaze me. You can be proud of yourself.”

Leader acknowledged his abilities and paid tribute to the efforts Minhyuk put into trainings. Hwanung really wants to become better and stronger to try to change this unfair world. Together with Shownu who once saved his life and saw something in him that he himself had never even noticed. Probably that’s why Minhyuk cares about his recognition the most. In these last days Minhyuk realized that he wants to remain special to him and for that he’s ready to train on this field days and nights. 

They sit leaning back on the fence and ignoring the cold coming from the ground. Minhyuk tells about what it is like to feel the never-ending stream of the Energy circulating inside his body. He describes the tingling and how he learned to hold the power back. The responsibility keeps on reminding him of its existence and the fact that he has no right for mistake around other people otherwise it might cost them their lives. Minhyuk’s hands are treacherously shaking because of the overwork, veins are bulging out, every centimeter of his palms is covered in crimson abrasions. Shownu observes them and gives Minhyuk a fixed look. 

“What?”  
“You don’t show up on the field till the end of this week.”  
“What?” Minhyuk asks again raising his tone a little. “Why? What’s wrong?”  
“You need to rest. Your body doesn’t have time to heal.”  
“I’m fine. I need more practice to control the power better.”  
“It’s out of the question.”  
“But…”  
“That’s an order.”

Leader’s voice barely even changes yet it’s enough for Minhyuk to obediently shut his mouth. The tone didn’t go up however the power put into words completely blocked off any urge to argue. Shownu’s authority can never be questioned. Hwanung doesn’t agree, but he has no choice. If Shownu thinks it’s for the best then it’s for the best. 

“I’m going to the city tomorrow,” informs leader after a while. “You mind joining me?”   
“You want me to go with you?” Minhyuk immediately perks up almost jumping on the spot.  
“You could use some unwinding. Take a look at how I’m running things.”  
“Always ready.” 

The thought of a casual trip to the city excites Minhyuk. He can finally visit familiar places. Going back to the familiar place when you’re a completely different person is always an experience. Minhyuk is sure that he’s gonna look at everything from another angle. Besides, it’s an opportunity to see how Shownu works and what his business is like. Does he really trust him this much? Hwanung clings to every occasion that can provide him with any bit of information about their leader. Plus he always feels calm and safe around him. That’s exactly what Minhyuk has always needed. The coming day has much in store for him.


	8. Chapter 8

A procession of busses transporting citizens from all over the Zone changes to the line leading to the express terminal. People keep going in and out of the subway stations. At the corner a young boy is distributing black balloons that advertise a brand new smartphone. Bright yellow leaves fall down from trees and cover up pathways just like an endless carpet. Their rustling blends into the sound of roaring motorcycles of busy delivery guys. Seoul is living its typical routine that never changes. New buildings are rising at an enormous rate, cafes are opening one after another, trash bins are bursting full of coffee cups and cigarette butts, flat surfaces immediately get covered by billboards and advertisements. This way of life sucks you right in and doesn’t let any thought about the possibility of living differently appear. 

When their car entered the city Minhyuk realized that he’s weaned off this atmosphere. Everything that had taken place before getting into the Clan is kinda smudged. It is stored in the mind cellar and covered in dust. As if there was no life before that. He doesn’t feel any mellow nostalgia and actually there’s no reason for it anyway. The only things this city has given Minhyuk were dirt, pain and fear. That was a nice hardening but at what price? Maybe only now when all the ties to this place are cut Hwanung can fully feel that he’s free. He’s no longer attached to this city. He doesn't have to come back here and nothing can make him stay that's why he's at ease. When you can leave any time and when you have a place to go breathing feels much nicer. 

Districts gradually change while the car slowly drives through packed streets. Traffic lights are absurdly long, but the mood is too good to get annoyed. Minhyuk looks at autumn landscapes outside the window, sees alleys hidden in infinite shadows that he had to walk through; places where he had to work for peanuts; benches he had to sleep on between shifts. Now he sits in a warm expensive car, he’s wearing fresh clothes that lightly smell like hyacinth detergent, the fridge back at home is full of food, people he sees everyday don’t treat him like garbage. 

Hwanung turns his head to the driver’s seat. Shownu’s dressed in a graphite pullover with a thin black coat on top. He’s focused on a road while holding the wheel with one hand. A leather bracelet can be seen under the lowered sleeve. This man gifted Minhyuk a new life. And unknowingly became somewhat its center. Leader feels his gaze and turns to him for a couple of seconds. That’s enough for Minhyuk to give him a sincere smile. If he could he’d make this trip never end. The world is too cold and Shownu’s inner flame is too alluring. 

They park the car not far from the ninth subway exit in Hongdae. The air here is drenched in heat and the mouth-watering smell of oily street food. Along the road that leads to the main part of Hongdae there are tents with steam coming out. Only the first two ones sell beautiful little flowers in baskets. Occasionally, Minhyuk would allow himself to buy a hotdog or a wavy fish-pie that is usually served with a cup of warming soup in such places. They’re rather cheap, about 1500 to 2000 won apiece but Hwanung knew in which greasy spoons he could find more wholesome dinner for the same amount of money. The more filling the food was the longer he could stay without buying food again thus the preference would be given to such options. However he really wanted to go inside one of those tents and eat to his heart content so much he’d get sick and forget about counting his money. Minhyuk feels pity for his past-self and is sort of embarrassed. He looks down, but lifts up his head the moment Shownu starts talking. 

“Wanna take a walk?”  
“Don’t you have to be on a meeting?”  
“We’ve got thirty minutes.” 

Something in leader’s voice makes Minhyuk think that they didn’t come here so early by accident. He… wanted to spend time together? This guess makes his chest tingle but Hwanung pulls himself up immediately. Who is he and who is Shownu. A wave of bitterness and shame strikes him, however Minhyuk doesn’t let this rollercoaster of sudden emotions spoil the opportunity to feel like a normal human walking with someone who makes him wanna live and run forward. 

When the steam circling inside the tent caresses Minhyuk’s face he feels like a child who found a present under the Christmas tree for the first time. A miracle came true. He really can eat and not think about anything, not rush to another part-time job. The tent is crowded so Shownu wraps his arm around Minhyuk’s shoulders to stand more comfortably. 

“Take anything you want.” 

A sausage-rice pie skewer tastes almost like the most delicious food in the world. Minhyuk eats thoughtfully and slowly enjoying every bite of it. Shownu who ordered a crunchy corndog disappears for five minutes and comes back holding two tall cardboard cups. 

“Tea with pomegranate syrup,” he gives surprised Hwanung one of them.   
“How do you know I love pomegranates?”   
“We’ve never had pomegranate juice in the fridge before you,” leader shrugs then takes out a white paper bag from his coat pocket and hands it to him. “Didn’t know which one you like more so I bought both.” 

Inside there are two golden fish-shaped pastries. Through a thin dough on its stomach red beans can be seen in one of them. The other is stuffed with sweet cream. Minhyuk hesitates and looks at Shownu seriously. 

“Listen, you don’t have to do so much for me.”  
“I’ve been there and I know what hunger and non-stop working are. I want to give you everything you had to say no to.”  
“But spending money on me…”  
“That’s my personal desire.”

Shownu emphasizes the word “personal” showing two things at the same time: the question’s closed and Minhyuk should pay attention to the meaning of this word. Hwanung keeps looking into his eyes for a long time trying to rationally analyze the situation. Eventually he exhales through his nose smiling. Actually, under the layers of self-unimportance, guilt for causing troubles and fear of being annoying he’s thrilled with such attention from their leader. As if now Minhyuk’s just an ordinary human with an ordinary life. Someone who doesn’t have powers he could get killed for. Someone who’s never killed anyone himself. Someone who doesn’t live in a place packed with weapons. Someone who’s not planning to destroy certain people together with guys who’ve been through some shit. He’s alive, happy, breathes in fresh air, eats tasty food, walks with a person who’s important to him. Just like he’s always dreamed of. 

A wide Hongdae street that has hundreds of pathways between buildings is windy. It’s still rather warm, however chilly wind hastily breaking through the fabric reminds them that the winter’s coming. The continuous flows of people never stop; shops, small stores and cafes are literally sitting on top of each other; the music is playing from everywhere. Life here is humming and pulsing, it never stops and never slows down even for a second. Feels like if you stop and ponder for a moment about any tiny thing you’ll get knocked over by the local vibe that keeps on striving forward. 

As they walk the street food tents change into clothing racks, stands with bags and tables full of accessories. Sometimes cosmetic shops can be seen in between. A countless variety of different colors surround them. Bright acidic hues are placed right next to calm pastel ones. Every shop has its own music playing and all these tracks get mixed with the buzz of hundreds of voices. It’s disorienting and confusing. Minhyuk is no longer used to such mess. He walks curiously eyeballing everything and turns around with a surprise when something gets put on his head from behind. His hands study an unknown thing: a comfy beanie that is pretty pleasant to touch. 

“Your hair’s very beautiful, but the white color is too conspicuous,” Shownu carefully fixes it gently brushing his hair back and leaving only triangle sideburns. 

When Shownu’s fingers run through the hair touching the skin on his head Minhyuk gets the goosebumps tingling on his ribs. Too close. This move invades his personal space too much. At first Hwanung perplexedly blinks getting lost in time, space and feelings, but then he braces himself and turns to the mirror. He fixes the beanie in his own way and while twisting his head estimates whether this dark-brown color suits him or not. 

“I like it.” 

In reality he doesn’t estimate the color nor does he estimate the way it fits. Minhyuk estimates his own reaction to Shownu’s actions and him saying that Minhyuk’s hair is beautiful. Hwanung feels like an idiot because he’s ready to wear this beanie that they buy in the end round the clock. Because it’s Shownu’s gift. 

The time flies even too fast. His mood was so high up that Minhyuk completely forgot they had work to do. Basically this was the reason they came here. They go all the way back and turn into one of the alleys around the subway area. The loud music can no longer be heard and the surroundings are seemingly gloomier. Colorful signboards are left behind and instead of them there are simple monochromatic signs with establishments’ names that look kinda yellowish because of the rain stains. Shownu and Minhyuk enter one of those diners and get lost in hallway darkness for a moment. 

Oddly enough, the inside is rather clean. The lighting isn’t very bright but at least it doesn’t irritate eyes. Some tables are filled, a slight buzz of conversations is present, smells like cheap coffee and overcooked noodles. Quite comfortable to those who are not used to luxury. In a certain way Minhyuk feels like he’s where he belongs. Excessive gloss and pretentious design for the sake of pretentious design never interested him. 

Shownu looks around and heads towards the familiar person. Wide shoulders in a black leather jacket set Minhyuk on the alert. As it turns out, there really was a reason. Hair the color of coffee beans is brushed back showing shaved temples. Absolutely black eyes are coldly shimmering under his frowned eyebrows and piercing right through anyone they lay upon. On his left upper eyelid there are two dot-like moles. His face doesn’t express any specific emotions it just makes you be on guard on the instinct level showing that he’s dead serious and isn’t in a mood to joke around. 

They get introduced to each other. The man’s Lim Jaebum, the leader of the Clan Seven. Hwanung expected nothing less. This man’s appearance states that he’s a boss with a strong personality loud and clear. Jaebum appraisingly examines Minhyuk and lifts up his chin. 

“I thought we’d be talking in private,” his voice is rather sonorous yet not high.   
“Minhyuk needs to blend into our business. You’d bring in your guys as well in the past,” Shownu pauses and waits for a respond, but there is none. “He can be trusted. I guarantee for him.” 

Jaebum interlocks his fingers and places hands on a table. He looks at Minhyuk once again and their eyes lock. Hwanung is nervous, but he surprises himself by realizing that he’s not scared of that man. If such meeting had happened about three weeks ago his intestines would’ve twisted doe to the fear and an urge to run away. Now there’s nothing except for a slight tension. Minhyuk doesn’t know the reason. Because Shownu’s right next to him? Because he got used to being surrounded by not so ordinary people? Because now he can definitely defend himself in case something happens? Because he doesn’t feel like a useless piece of shit anymore? Hard to say. Anyway, he holds the piercing look with dignity. 

“We have discussed your offer,” in the end Jaebum nods and gets down to business. “There were no problems last time and everyone else speaks well of you so we’d like to purchase another batch of supplies. But I have one condition.”   
“I’m listening.”  
“I’ll pay you half now and half when the goods will be on our territory, opened and tested. You do know that things have been quite hectic lately. A bunch of dickheads has already tried to fuck with us.”  
“The Yongin gang?”  
“Bingo.”  
“So that massacre was your doing,” Shownu looks satisfied with the information that confirmed his theory. “All right, 50/50 is a fair deal.” 

Jaebum takes out a white envelope and slides it forward. Shownu swiftly counts the banknotes and puts the envelope to the inner pocket of the coat. 

“Changkyun and Jooheon will visit you tomorrow around midday.”

It would seem that the main question is closed, however the atmosphere turns cold, frozen, uncomfortably cracking without any apparent reason. The air is filled with unspoken things or even a reluctance to say something. At least that’s how Minhyuk perceives it. He doesn’t know what kind of joint deals these two have. Therefore he can’t draw any comprehensive conclusions. The only thing he’s sure about is that the purpose of their meeting wasn’t just a weapon deal. 

“My Clan won’t go on the offensive,” the silence shutters like ice that got thrown a rock at when Jaebum starts speaking. “We are ready to cover the back and hold off their reinforcements when the time comes, but I won’t let my guys be in the front line.”

Shownu’s face doesn’t change. He leans a little forward looking Jaebum in the eyes. The shadow shifts to his forehead creating an illusion of his own eyes being bottomless. 

“You’re not gonna change your mind?”  
“No. With all respect to you and Seungcheol I’m not gonna risk so much.”   
“I understand your decision,” leader’s voice softens for a notch and then becomes steel tough. “But if you want to withdraw from the agreement then say it now. Your uncoordinated non-appearance will cost hundreds of lives.”  
“I’m perfectly aware of that. Our Clan is still a part of the Alliance and will participate, but not in the offensive. That’s my final statement.”

Jaebum leans back on the chair showing that to him the subject’s closed. A black earring in a shape of a spear in his ear is swaying following his movements. A laughter can be heard from the other side of the diner. Three cups of water stand on the table untouched. Jaebum suddenly decides to talk to Minhyuk. 

“How did you get into the Clan? I thought you stopped taking in new people.”  
“Accidentally,” Hwanung shrugs not getting confused even for a second. “Happened to be at the right place at the right time.”  
“We all get sucked into this shithole accidentally. At the wrong place at the wrong time,” Jaebum smirks dryly emphasizing the word “wrong” on purpose. “The thing is you can’t get out of it.” 

They sit there for another fifteen minutes. The weather that used to be pretty nice seemingly darkens. As they say goodbye, Jaebum holds up the handshake with Shownu and lowers his voice.

“I’ve heard that some assholes have a down on you. Stay sharp.” 

A supermarket is too bright and too crowded. Leader thought that while they’re in the city they might as well buy some groceries. Eventually the cart gets filled to its limits with food and household items. Minhyuk looks at endless racks with a puzzled expression, but whenever his hand starts reaching out for something he pulls it back out of habit. The fact that he can easily live without any of these unimportant products is stuck to his head too hard. Shownu who’s walking next to him puts everything that catches Minhyuk’s attention into the cart. He knows that after living a strictly humble life it’s hard to get used to the unlimited budget. 

While they’re walking around the gigantic supermarket the rain outside manages to start and come to an end. The air is humid, sticky and a little bit stuffy. They put some of the bags into the trunk and some on the backseat. Minhyuk feels a pleasant tiredness. It’s completely different from tiredness that appears after trainings. He finally got out of the Lair, saw something new and spend some time alone with Shownu. Hwanung softly touches the beanie on his head and smiles. 

Actually besides good memories he also obtained yet another bunch of questions. The things Jaebum was talking about made Minhyuk think about a lot. He doesn’t know what exactly the allied Clans are going to do, what the offensive they were talking about is and when it will happen. Usually the goal of their missions is to eliminate people who are connected to the Government or who help the Citadel to function. They also rob their ammunition warehouses. Thus they reduce the Government’s forces and show that the mob grudge is expanding. But Minhyuk isn’t aware of the ultimate goal. How are they gonna change the situation in the entire Zone? The car leaves the city when he finally gathers the courage to ask. 

“Can you tell me about the offen…”  
“Get down!”

Hwanung doesn’t have time to finish. Shownu’s hand lowers his head a second before the window from the driver’s side gets covered in cracks. Luckily, the bullet didn’t go through, however the protection glass won’t handle the second shot. The gas pedal is immediately pushed to the floor. Stunned Minhyuk looks at Shownu who clenched his jaws and croaks “The hell?” 

The car runs at full speed neatly maneuvering between busses and other cars but when after a turn they see a blocked part of the highway they have to slow down sliding between the plastic barrier and the side of the road. The moment Shownu is about to rush forward again the left door gets hit. The last thing that Minhyuk remembers is how the sky and the ground suddenly swapped places.


	9. Chapter 9

The sound is struggling to break through the thick shroud that reminds of fiberglass half a meter thick. As if you’re standing on the twentieth floor of a building and trying to hear what a person from a driveway is telling you. A mix of howling wind, TV static and tower crane buzz keeps hindering. Gradually everything gets louder and sharper and at a certain point you get stunned by a deafening wave of clear sounds. 

“Wake up!”

Minhyuk opens his eyes and breathes in madly. Gunshots and screams are heard, the head hums like crazy. When his eyes focus he sees Shownu patting on his cheek. 

“Can you move?”  
“You’re hurt,” Minhyuk absently notices blood dripping down from a wound on leader’s forehead and blurring his eyes.   
“Doesn’t matter. Are your bones okay?” Shownu quickly examines him and when Hwanung nods he jerks him out of the car. “Let’s go, there are four of them left, we gotta get rid of them before they call for backup.” 

Only after seeing the smashed Reno Minhyuk gets back his memories about last minutes before the car crash. The moment he stands up his head starts spinning and the right shoulder aches mercilessly. Hwanung feels like his temple is on fire so he wants to rub it but his fingers immediately get covered in warm blood. The beanie as well as hair in this area are completely soaked with it and slurp disgustingly when touched. 

A tree next to him gets pierced with a bullet which instantly makes him forget about his injuries. Minhyuk fully concentrates on reality chasing away somewhat dense fog caused by unconsciousness and runs after Shownu. The forest haphazardly flashes in front of their eyes when they shift from side to side in order to protect their backs from gunshots. Leaves, feathers and plant debris fly around, branches hit their faces, disturbed birds hysterically thrash about somewhere in canopy. Minhyuk sprints to the front while leader fires back hiding behind trees. He sees a fallen pine and jumps over it realizing that there’s only emptiness ahead too late. 

A tailbone painfully hits the ground covered in humus soil. The body slides down by inertia collecting all the little pebbles along the way. Feels like the skin of the hand he landed on gets burnt almost to flesh. Hwanung manages to stop himself with his heels before diving into a small dirty lake. 

“Minhyuk!” 

Shownu’s worried voice echoes from the high edges of the hill Minhyuk just slid off. When leader sees his fingers showing “okay” and makes sure he’s alright he points at a large bush with his chin, then runs away deeper into the forest. Minhyuk hides and catches his breath. He pats his pockets and belt, but finds no pistol. It was left in the car. Also it seems like the blood doesn’t plan to stop. Oddly enough, it doesn’t worry him as much as it annoys him. 

A few seconds later a man appears on the edge. Judging by the gun in his hands he’s definitely not a passerby who decided to help car crash victims. The man squints and observes the soil scattered around by the fall. He rests his eyes on the bush Minhyuk was hiding in for some time, but then turns back not knowing that he’s being carefully watched through the little gaps between leaves. Gunshots are heard from the direction Shownu has ran to and the man immediately lifts up his gun ready to rush there. 

However Hwanung has already decided that he’s not gonna let that happen. The situation isn’t just serious, it’s dangerous. Both of them were purposefully tracked down in order to kill. Moreover Shownu led the tail away to protect him and Minhyuk just can’t sit there and wait until it’s over. He would have probably done it before. He would have hidden quiet like a mouse and scared to death, praying not to be found. But he’s changed. He’ll do everything in his power to help his leader. 

Breathe in, breathe out. The Energy orb sparks on his palm, now being completely under control. There’s no time to aim. Minhyuk clenches his teeth, blocks his nerves and before the pistol manages to turn to the rustling bush the Energy strives forward. The skin on the man’s neck tears apart layer after layer, curved lines stream down into different directions from the point of impact and explode from the inside showing fried flesh. Death was almost instantaneous. 

Minhyuk doesn’t even feel any remorse. Only worry, anger and fear, but not for himself. He suddenly thinks of a conversation they had with Jooheon about turning human emotions off. Enemies have to be perceived as enemies only. Predators, monsters, inanimate objects that you must get rid of. Or they will get rid of you. There’s no time for compassion and moral reflection on your actions. If you back down even a little you’ll get yourself killed as well as your comrades. 

Earth gets under his fingernails when Minhyuk climbs up the hill. The sneakers glide and he falls down a couple times painfully hitting the ground with his wounded palms. The blood mixes with dirt. Only the thought about Shownu being alone against three people makes him get up every time he starts sliding down. In record time he gets back to the trail, takes a pistol out of the dead hands and with all the strength he has left rushes towards the gunshots. 

He notices two gangsters quite easily. They’re hiding behind trees with their backs to him and are trying to catch the moment when Shownu peeks out from his cover. But Minhyuk won’t let that happen. He takes out the gun and aims at the man standing the closest. It would’ve been a headshot hadn’t the man squatted at the exact time Minhyuk pulled the trigger. A bullet tears into the tree smashing its bark into shreds. 

“Fuck.” 

Minhyuk swiftly hides behind the old oak pressing his back against it. The moment he frustratingly thinks that the element of surprise failed miserably he hears a gunshot followed by a loud gasp. Shownu took advantage of the guy getting distracted. One down. 

The second gangster has probably concluded that the thigs aren’t stacking up in his favor and decided to retreat. He goes back deeper into the forest but leader isn’t gonna let him go. Shownu starts firing at the path putting the guy right to the Minhyuk’s area. Hwanung gets the strategy and rushes after him. However it looks like luck wasn’t on his side today. The shot misses and then the pistol all covered in dirt from his clothes slips out of his hands getting lost in tall grass. There’s no time to look for it and Minhyuk has nothing to do but use his powers again. 

Finally, silence falls upon the forest hitting their ears. The last gangster is nowhere to be seen and the likelihood that he’s already fled is so high it doesn’t let them relax after the fight. If he saw the Energy outflow then their death sentence has been already signed. Shownu heads towards heavy breathing Minhyuk while looking around but then suddenly points a gun at him and frowns. Minhyuk didn’t even have the opportunity to ask what’s going on. The back of his head gets cold because of a gun muzzle. 

“Get your hands up. And no magic tricks or I’ll blow your fucking brain out.” 

His heart shrinks. Minhyuk raises his hands and unevenly inhales staring at Shownu slowly approaching him. 

“You stop right there!” the man snarls. “Drop the gun now.”  
“Let him go and everyone will go their way.”  
“I am the one who decides what’s gonna happen,” he smirks and then takes off Minhyuk’s beanie, grabs him by the hair and pulls closer. “Hey there, pretty boy, you don’t mind me borrowing your pistol, do you? Hadn’t you so kindly dropped it I would’ve been already on my way to the nearest city,” he then speaks to Shownu frozen like a statue. “Are you fucking deaf you asshole? Drop the gun unless you wanna check out the hole in his head.” 

For some time leader doesn’t move a muscle and keeps intensely staring behind Minhyuk’s back, but eventually he realizes there’s no choice. His pistol falls into the mud. 

“And now get the hell out of here while I’m still nice,” commands the man with some kind of perverted pleasure. “I’ll get a shit tone of money for the alive Hwanung so I’m in a great mood.”  
“I’ll pay you twice as much if you let him go.”  
“I don’t haggle. And I know that your goddamn Clan doesn’t have so much money so you either get lost or get shot.”

Looks like Shownu doesn’t even think about moving. He just can’t leave Minhyuk. No way. A plan is chaotically trying to form on his mind, but without success. The blood fueled by the adrenaline is annoyingly banging in his temples. 

“Don’t you stand there go find yourself another Hwanung!” he shakes Minhyuk still tightly holding him by the hair and points his pistol at Shownu. “This is your last chance.”  
“I’ll blast you into pieces once you turn away you fucking moron,” Minhyuk suddenly addresses the person behind.   
“The fuck did you just say?” the man growls. “Say that again. You said you want a bullet in your head?”   
“I want to fry your brain, dickhead.”  
“Stop provoking him,” coldly orders Shownu who can’t understand what’s gotten into Hwanung.  
“You better listen to your owner, pet.”   
“Or what? You’ll spank me?” taunts Minhyuk. “You can’t even look into my eyes cause you’re scared shitless of me.”  
“That’s it you little son of a bitch.”

The man turns Minhyuk around holding his hair so tight he’s almost pulling it off. The gun is pressed to his cheek. 

“Tell your friend to piss off or both of you will get shot.”  
“Bet you don’t have the balls to shoot me.”  
“Minhyuk!” leader shouts furiously.   
“You’re a fucking wing nut,” the man smirks, however it sounds rather nervous since he can’t understand what the hell is going on and he doesn’t like it at all. “You really wanna die so bad, huh?”  
“I know you got no guts.”  
“Are you sure about that you little twat?”  
“Then shoot me.”

Things got messed up so fast it seems like nobody can’t really figure what’s happening. Shownu’s angry at Minhyuk for literally asking to get murdered, but he himself doesn’t know what to do to save them both. The gangster’s nerves are going crazy and Hwanung keeps provoking him.

“Come on!” 

Minhyuk loudly yells at his face and he loses it. Shownu storms forward in a desperate strive. The finger pulls the trigger and Hwanung flinches, but nothing happens. 

“What the…” the man doesn’t finish because Minhyuk’s fingers dig into his neck.   
“You make a move and your brain will be all over these trees.”  
“Wait,” leader who got there in a matter of seconds puts his hand on Minhyuk’s shoulder, but it looks like he’s more interested not in their enemy but in a situation. “I’ll have a talk with him later. What the hell was this all about?”

In Shownu’s voice there’s a barely concealed cold rage. His order was disobeyed. The situation slipped out of his control and what freaks him out the most is the fact that Shownu’s heart was pierced with a serrated needle of fear. It did not just get through, it got painfully stuck on the inside. He hasn’t allowed himself to feel such strong emotions for a whole decade. 

“You’ve taught me to count bullets,” Minhyuk takes the gun out of the gangster’s hands and demonstrates an empty magazine. “Looks like this bastard missed some classes.”  
“Fucking asshole,” bellows the hostage. 

For that he gets hit on the ribs and then on the temple by Shownu. An unconscious body drops onto the dirty grass. 

“Then why didn’t you tell me this in the first place?” 

Minhyuk hesitates for a moment, but decides to give up under the demanding gaze. 

“I wasn’t sure.”  
“You’re telling me that you provoked him when you wasn’t even one hundred percent sure that the gun wasn’t loaded?” Shownu’s voice gets lower and lower with every word and in the end it sounds almost fierce which makes one feel very uncomfortable.   
“I… I just wanted him to stop aiming at you,” confesses Minhyuk quietly, but he still doesn’t shift his stridently honest gaze. “Then if I was wrong I would’ve been the only one to pay for it.” 

Then if Minhyuk was wrong Shownu would’ve torn that person apart into pieces with his bare hands. He would’ve mashed him into mud with his feet until there was nothing but a red spot left of that prick. Shownu looks at Hwanung and he doesn’t know what feelings are prevailing in him anymore. Relief because this idiot with his hair in the color of lilies of the valley is alive or anger because he risked his priceless life so stupidly. Anyway today leader has been injected with an excessive dosage of emotions that he’s been blocking off for years. 

“Search the bodies and collect the weapons,” he commands in a cold voice. “I’ll call the guys.”

Minhyuk nods and turns around to start doing the assigned task when Shownu speaks to him once more. 

“Don’t you ever give yourself up for me again. It’s not your obligation, you had paid off me saving your life long time ago.” 

The silence is supposed to mean that the question is closed, at least this is what leader thinks. But about a minute later Minhyuk’s voice sounds again. 

“I did it not because I had to, but because I wanted to.” 

Shownu never answered.

The backup came quite fast. While the bodies were loading onto an unknown van Mingyu and Wonwoo arrived as well. They forged certain reports and called some of their members to dress as policemen and road workers and drive the gangsters’ cars away. Changkyun was busy deleting surveillance footage of the highway while seating on a moldy stump with a laptop. 

Only a couple of hours later, when the Zone was covered in a black-violet darkness, Shownu and Minhyuk got home. They were taken away from the scene by the Clan Six leader Bang Yongguk who noted with sad irony that they’ve been visiting his self-made hospital rather often lately. He and his right hand Himchan took care of them, treated their wounds and checked for any hidden injuries with no questions asked as usual. Before Wonho’s arrival who was willing to give them a lift Shownu himself went to Yongguk’s office to discuss the ongoing confrontation between the Government and the gangs. 

Minhyuk is sitting on his bed and trying to figure out what is the source of a quiet hum: is it a dying bulb that’s about to pop at any moment or is it his bandaged in a sport headband style head that hit the window when the car flew off the road. It’s been a long and eventful day, but he doesn’t want to sleep at all even though his body’s fatigued. Hwanung doesn’t even do anything, he just blankly stares straight ahead, arm resting on a knee. 

A short knock on the door. Leader comes in not waiting for an answer and leans on a wall as if not daring to go farther. A white stripe of band-aid protects stitches on his forehead, his neck and arms covered in dozens of little abrasions. For some time he silently looks at a blue kinesio tape showing under Minhyuk’s t-shirt sleeve. His shoulder was sprained. Then Shownu notices a washed beanie on a chair, water drops falling on the floor. 

“You could’ve just left it there. I’d buy you a new one.”  
“That’s a memorable gift,” Hwanung shakes his head, “I don’t need a new one.”

He feels that Shownu came for a reason, but doesn’t rush him. They’ve got nowhere to rush anyway. As always it smells like wildflowers and firewood. First rain drops tap on the window when Shownu with a calm face yet with a restless mind speaks out the thought that’s been eating him alive. 

“We got hurt because of my negligence. My carelessness could’ve cost us our lives.”  
“That wasn’t your fault,” responds Minhyuk right away as if he was waiting for these words. “You can’t predict everything, don’t you dare blame yourself even for a second.”  
“But that’s true. I had to watch our backs, keep the situation under control. Instead of it I got distracted and let my guard down,” Shownu doesn’t finish, pauses and then thoughtfully confesses probably to himself in the first place. “I forgot myself. I was listening, talking, thinking about the here and now as if…”  
“As if just wanted to be an ordinary human,” Minhyuk completes his thought. “Who doesn’t have to fear for his life. And for the life of someone next to him.”

Shownu looks up and their eyes lock merging in a conversation. No words needed anymore. It always felt like they’ve been on the same wavelength. They have completely different characters and life circumstances, but they somehow feel each other. This eye contact dialogue makes Minhyuk realize that he wasn’t the only one who got completely lost in a moment back in Seoul. They both let themselves touch a calm life that they’ve been dreaming about somewhere deep inside. And which almost killed them. 

Actually they realized that something was going on between them during the very first training together. Something that shouldn’t be going on. At least because the timing was and still is bad. The timing, the situation, the life. All of these things distract and frighten that they might be taken away from one of them any moment. Future isn’t just blurry it doesn’t even exist in theory. Their world is too unstable. 

Limits that must not be crossed restrict movements. Eyes to eyes. A silent conversation has suddenly dispelled all the doubts and clearly showed what’s been going on between them. Shownu goes forward, comes to Minhyuk seating on a bed and reaches a hand out to his face, but when there are literally millimeters left before his warm cheek Shownu abruptly moves it up. He fixes the bandages covering them with hair. But they both know this is not what he wanted to do. They both pretend this is what it’s supposed to be. That’s the maximum they can afford. 

Minhyuk looks up at Shownu. He smells the soap on his skin. The smell of purity, simplicity and some sort of a nostalgic coziness than Hwanung has never experienced before. The hand that kills people can’t help it and caresses lily of the valley hair pretending to still fix the bandages. Nothing personal of course. Minhyuk really wants to lean his forehead on Shownu’s stomach, close his eyes and forget about everything for a while. Just feel the person being close to him, feel his warmth and the sense of security that he radiates. Instead Minhyuk says that Shownu needs to have a rest and wishes him goodnight. Because it’s best for everyone. 

Thoughts about the situation in the Zone heating up don’t let Kihyun fall asleep. He turns from side to side and eventually decides to go get some water. He barely opens the door when hears that Minhyuk’s door opens at the same time. He doesn’t know why, but he freezes leaving a little gap for himself to peek through. In faint light coming from the stairs he sees not the white hair and a skinny figure, but a well-known outline of their leader. Shownu closes the door, but doesn’t leave. He closes his eyes with tiredness, heavily breathes out, stays like that for some time while being lost in himself and only after that he goes down the stairs. 

Kihyun has known him long enough to understand how serious everything is. After all, he always watches them. However he still can’t figure his own attitude to the thing that’s been going on. Their unsteady world can’t give them any guarantees whatsoever. So is there any point in getting attached to each other? What good will that do? Do they even have the right to have human feelings? Kihyun closes the door and goes back to his bed. Even more thoughts start swirling inside his head.


	10. Chapter 10

The atmosphere at the table is noisy. All the Clan members gathered for the Council and are waiting for Shownu who left the Lair in the morning and came back in the evening. The yesterday’s incident is being discussed quite intensely and in loud voices. Everyone’s very displeased, someone’s ready to fight being absolutely outraged. If usually their diverse company gets quiet once their leader appears then this time they got even louder when he entered the room. 

“What the hell has been going on recently?” asks Wonho leaning on the table, no typical smirk is seen on his face. “Yunho from Cassiopeia was attacked not so long ago and now they tracked you guys down.”  
“Someone wants to hog the blanket apparently,” gloomy Jooheon shrugs and rubs a fuel oil spot on his hand.   
“And this someone needs to get a shotgun shoved up their asses,” Wonho belligerently crosses arms over his chest. 

It’s the first time Minhyuk sees him being so emotional. Usually the Day Guard either enthusiastically does his own business on his beloved beams in the living room or practices melee with Minhyuk while grinning mockingly. But now he’s freaked out and doesn’t even think about joking. His Clan members almost got killed and it really pissed him off. 

“We gotta shoot all these fuckers down until they shoot us,” passionately chimes in Changkyun. “Catch them one by one or just fucking bomb their fucking houses and warehouses with grenades.”  
“Language, Changkyun,” says Kihyun mostly out of habit rather than if he really cared about it right now.  
“You think it’s gonna end well for us?” pipes Hyungwon. “It’s impossible to kill all the mercenaries at the same time and once they figure out they got red dots on their damn foreheads these bastards will group up and come bomb us back. Don’t be so impulsively naïve, grow up already.”  
“And you fucking think it’s better to rot in the corner and whimper hoping that bad guys won’t touch our precious bum bums?” responds Changkyun sarcastically. “They want to slaughter us like fucking pigs and take control over the weapon market. If we stick our heads up our asses in fear it’s gonna be the same as just to go turn ourselves in to the goddamn Citadel. They’re waiting for you there anyway, mister so-called-scientist, because the only fucking thing you do is run away and hide like a fucking chickenshit.”  
“Wanna see what I can do you little jerk?” Hyungwon stands up sharply.   
“Go ahead and try me,” Changkyun stands up as well.  
“Calm the hell down,” roars Kihyun, but gets ignored.   
“Sit down, both of you,” Shownu’s firm voice resonates from the walls, but the guys keep furiously staring at each other. “I said sit down.” 

If the first phrase sounded rather discreet even though it was said strongly then the second one was nothing less but a harsh order. Leader raises his voice so seldom that the threatening notes at the background made everyone feel very uneasy. A sudden silence sounds louder than all the arguments before it. Hyungwon and Changkyun hesitate for a second, but obediently sit back down. The emotional environment in the Clan is as tensed as ever, each of them could lose it any moment. 

“Do I have to explain to you our Law once more?” Shownu looks calm again, however everyone with no exceptions feels that he’s angry. “The Clan exists only because we don’t jump at each other like savage animals. The situation outside the Lair got so dangerous you can get killed any moment and now you want to go at each others’ throats? Solve your problems with words. Any more of this and you both will stay in your rooms till the end of this month reflecting on your behavior just like five year olds. You think you’re at kids’ level in terms of mental development? You don’t understand what’s going on and how serious it is? Is this how I should treat you now? You could cripple any person for life with one bullet if you want to, you can handle any kind of weapon and I’m gonna spank you with a belt in front of everyone and lock you up in rooms because you want to measure swords with each other?” 

Heads of the Clan X members are lowered. They are not a shepherd and a flock of sheep. They are not a king and subjects. They are not a teacher and students. The Clan is an unplanned family, friends who are always ready to help each other, men who are united by one purpose. Men who unanimously have chosen the one who agreed to carry the responsibility for all their lives on his shoulders. If it wasn’t for leader then who knows in which godforsaken places they would have been roaming around now. He saved them more than once, provided with home and food, he hears out their opinions combining them into one, leads them forward not letting anyone get off the path or fall down and be left behind. That’s why now, when the most patient person they’ve ever known is full of rage, no one dares to look up until he lets them. His inner power and authority push down the backs of their heads with an iron hand. 

“Anyway,” after a long pause Shownu’s tone changed into a working mode and six heads immediately turn to him. “Hyungwon’s right. Storming into mercenaries’ bases now will backfire.”   
“These dickheads fuck up everyone else’s lives too,” Changkyun heats up again. “Why can’t we gather the allied Clans and go fuck them up together? They won’t refuse, we have agreements.”  
“And so do mercenaries,” Wonho clucks with undisguised annoyance. “We used to work with them long before you came and then realized it was too risky. They attack each other due to competition like nobody’s business, but in order to destroy us they would team up right away. A hell of a massacre will start and it’s not worth it.”  
“So what are your suggestions? Sit here and keep a low fucking profile?” Changkyun’s face is scowly, pale cheeks are covered in red spots caused by anger.   
“Sit here and work on a plan instead of rushing like hell into nowhere,” Minhyuk suddenly speaks everyone’s mind out. 

Changkyun gives him a snide look.

“You don’t have a damn clue about how things are carried out in our world, fresh meat.”  
“Stop snapping at everyone, will ya?” Jooheon pulls him back.   
“I don’t snap I state the facts. He was a typical useless dude from the street and would quiver like a fucking wet mouse because of every little fucking shadow he saw. The fuck he knows about the shit we’ve been living in? He’s just a Hwanung who could get us all turned into ground meat by Hunters.”  
“Yeah, and just a useless delivery guy who saved your ass,” retorts Minhyuk who seems to lose all the fear after what happened yesterday and who’s tired of Changkyun’s character. 

It’s impossible to avoid arguments when several different people that have to cooperate live under one roof. Especially when they have to play with death every now and then. Their normal way of life (which is dangerous yet has some certain safe places) is getting ruined, is slipping out of their hands. Someone has to keep a cold mind. Someone has to tightly grab the crushing frameworks and rebuild them into something new. Build another way of surviving and reach the finish point without losing anyone along the way. 

“Usually we make decisions together while discussing every little detail,” Shownu doesn’t let another fight get fueled and draws attention to himself. “I appreciate the opinion of each of you, but in this situation I have made a decision myself and I will take full responsibility for the consequences. You can criticize me and I will listen to any complaint, but we’re gonna do as I say. Any objections?” 

The members look at Shownu, then glance at each other and then stare at Shownu again. Nobody comments this statement except for Kihyun who says one simple line:

“You’re our leader, we will follow you in any case.” 

After making sure that there’s no questions Shownu continues. 

“I know which gang attacked us, but we’re not gonna deal with them now. First of all, it’s a waste of resources, second of all, we can provoke the second wave of mercenaries. Yes, we can involve other Clans, but it will start the war between the Clans and the Mercenaries. We’re already at war with the Government and even if we win in this less wide confrontation everybody will be too exhausted for the main part of the main battle. Then all our efforts will go to hell,” some members nod. “That’s why now we have new rules. The first one: no one can go outside the Lair alone. No exceptions including me. The second: I give permissions to go to the city only if it’s something really serious and is connected to the Clan activities. The third: doesn’t matter who you happen to run into in the city fights are prohibited. Don’t draw attention to yourself. Using physical force and especially weapons is appropriate only in a case of being attacked. Protect yourself, but don’t attack. Changkyun?”  
“What?”  
“Have you checked the detectors?”  
“Yeah,” his lips curve. “There’s nothing in the forest, the Energy flow wasn’t detected. White Head got lucky this time otherwise a bunch of heavily armed assholes would’ve been already standing in front of the gate.”  
“You make it sound like I used the power because I was bored,” Minhyuk judgingly looks at him with a growing irritation. “I was protecting us as best as I could. What else was I supposed to do without a gun?”  
“Don’t you think you got too cocky, newbie?”  
“Don’t you think you got too insolent, Changkyun?”  
“Enough,” Shownu’s palm bangs on the table with force. “I’ve had enough of your squabbles. Either control yourselves or get the fuck out of here. This applies especially to you, Im Changkyun.” 

After a few seconds delay maknae of the Clan stands up and ignoring Jooheon’s “Come on, man, cool down” heads towards the exit. 

“Changkyun,” calls Shownu and he stops in the doorway. “I’ll see you in my office tomorrow.” 

He leaves without response. Half a minute later a door upstairs bangs loudly. The atmosphere gets even more sullen. Internal conflicts always leave that bitter aftertaste at the back of your throat. 

“Should I talk to him?” asks Kihyun holding back a tired sigh.   
“What’s the point of talking to him? He’ll vent his shit and get over it by morning,” Hyungwon sniffs and leans back on the chair. “He acts like a teenager with an unstable hormonal balance. As if the whole world must be the way he wants it to be.”  
“Yeah and you yourself never miss an opportunity to pester him,” Jooheon points at Hyungwon with his chin. “You know the situation he’s in. The boy’s always stressed, just leave him alone.”  
“We’re all swimming in a deep shit up to our necks. Nobody here has parents nor siblings nor any relatives. We don’t have anyone so now what? Do we all have the right to behave like complete douchebags because of that?”

Minhyuk watches them silently. He realizes that he knows absolutely nothing about Changkyun’s past. He didn’t tell him anything and questioning isn’t Hwanung’s style. He would’ve told him if he wanted to. But Minhyuk still stays on their Night Guard’s side. It doesn’t matter what happened or what’s going on now, lashing out and almost disrupting the Council is arrogant and disrespectful towards the others. 

“I’ll have a talk with him tomorrow about his behavior as well as about everything he’s gonna miss out,” says Shownu when their discussion is over.  
“So you mean that’s not it yet?” Wonho raises his eyebrows.   
“There’s one last announcement,” leader’s face looks like it’s petrified, his posture is perfectly straight, head a little lifted and everyone feels that they’re gonna hear something serious, something much more serious than everything they’ve heard before. “In five months, we’ll conquer the Citadel.”

Fire that has been lighted for the first time this year is loudly cracking. Unevenly wiggling shadows are running across the room, falling upon stunned faces of the Clan X members. The room is warm, hot even, however within a mere second their feet got ice-cold. 

“But…” Kihyun whose mouth suddenly dried out hardly swallows. “I thought we had at least a year.”   
“The situation has changed. Mercenaries began to take bold measures and try to destroy the Clans, our informants either quit or disappear. People of the Citadel do understand that something’s going on outside the walls. If they strengthen their protection then we won’t have a chance to win at all. That’s why other leaders and I have decided we should go into action soon.”  
“Hold on,” Minhyuk shakes his head. “You already had a plan or what? I honestly have absolutely no idea about what you were planning to do before and what we can do now.”   
“Kihyun, you didn’t tell him?” Shownu looks rather surprised.  
“Well he didn’t ask,” he shrugs. “I thought you filled him in yourself.”  
“The plan is now different anyway,” leader nods and starts explaining, his fingers make invisible dots on the table from time to time following his words. “Some members of the allied Clans observe the Citadel around the clock. Who, when and for how long enter it. There’s only one entry, the main gate with thorough inspection point where they ask for special identification cards and the purpose of the visit. Only the black vans that most likely carry resources don’t get inspected, they just need to screen their ID cards. Usually such convoy consists of six vans. We know where they come from and on which days, but the exact time and the route are still being adjusted since they change depending on the date.”  
“You want us to intercept them on the way,” understands Hyungwon.   
“Exactly. We, Carats, Clan Aurora, Clan Cassiopeia, Clan SJ and Clan Six will take over the vans, fill them with weapons and get inside the Citadel.”  
“Wait what?” Wonho snickers with surprise. “Yongguk has never been to the front line not to mention letting his guys do it. The hell’s gotten into him?”  
“He understands that the number of able fighters matters. Taking into account everyone else refused to get into the center of the things.”  
“Hang on, Clan Seven isn’t coming with us?” Jooheon feels like he can’t process the audio information well anymore, too many new things come up at the table.   
“Jaebum made it clear he’s not gonna take such a risk. His Clan along with the other five Clans agreed to secure the Citadel from the outside cutting it from the backup. Nobody will be able to go in or out until everything’s over.”  
“So basically we’re breaking in and they’re fighting back outside when we flip everything off in there?” clarifies Minhyuk.  
“Yes,” Shownu nods. “We have a partial plan of the Citadel and we’re gonna complete it within the time remaining. We get in, turn off the communication, warning and alarm systems, block the exit and clear the whole building.”  
“By clearing you mean…” Hwanung hesitates. “Kill everyone who’s got a gun?”  
“Every single one of them,” states Kihyun with the coldest facial expression. “Man or woman – doesn’t matter.”  
“But it makes no sense,” dumbstruck Minhyuk barely finds the strength to connect words with each other. “There might be ordinary workers who were assigned to sort some stupid papers. We can’t kill without figuring out whether a person deserves it or not.”   
“You think anyone had asked your parents what they did for living and how they saw the world before murdering them?” a sharp gaze of Kihyun who got mad in a split second literally pierces him through. “Did anyone ask my little brothers and sisters whether they’d done anything wrong before shooting them down one by one? Or his parents?” Kihyun points at Jooheon and then at Wonho who pursed his lips. “His pregnant fiancée? Or maybe Shownu’s family? None of them deserved to die. Those scumbags have taken away what mattered the most to us and you’re gonna pity them?”  
“And how are we better than them if we start indiscriminately kill everyone we see? Ordinary workers who have families all over the Zone. How come you know who’s guilty among all the people working there?”  
“I know that there are no and will never be ordinary workers in the Citadel. The moment Hyungwon refused to become one of those “ordinary workers” who cut up Hwanungs of all the categories, from toddlers to elders, he got ordered to be eliminated himself. Everyone knows that from the bottom up it’s filled with crazy scientists, Hunters, soldiers and rotten elite who controls all of that. The elite that every year increases the price for a Hwanung’s life.” 

Minhyuk has no response to that. A part of him understands that Kihyun’s right. That there’s no room for compassion when dealing with people who are ready to destroy crowds for power and profit. But the other part categorically refuses to accept it. He just can’t imagine this picture. When you pull the trigger the second you see a living being. It’s one thing when he or someone he knows is being threatened with a weapon, but it’s completely different if he intentionally goes forward with the only mission on his mind – kill everyone he can find. Harsh reality attacked Minhyuk with renewed vigor. He knows that this internal battle will keep burning his mind and his heart for a long time. He definitely won’t be able to fall asleep this night. 

“And then what?” Jooheon’s question breaks a prolonged pause filled with the cracking sound of firewood. “We clear the Citadel, eliminate the elite. Then everything’s like we planned?”  
“Yes. We announce that the power’s overthrown. Mission completed, people breathe freely again.”   
“What do you mean?” Minhyuk decides to save his internal conflicts for later and focuses on the information. “The Zone can’t just be left without any kind of control, it will cause chaos.”  
“That’s why we’re gonna create new administrations,” Shownu nods. “The Government will be run by the Unit consisting of the leaders of those Clans that participated in the attack. Decisions will be made through the open voting.”  
“And what about the mercenaries?”  
“We’ll offer them to establish a unified Military Unit in the event of the old order fanatics’ uprisings. All mercenaries care about is money and they’ll get it if they agree to obey the Unit.”  
“And if they won’t?”  
“Then we’ll solve the problem our typical way,” Wonho chortles. “Catch and kill. Some of them will be more than happy to sell the others’ camp locations for a reward.”  
“You guys think civilians will react positively to the new power?” asks Minhyuk with keen interest.   
“People are tired of a constant fear that they could get taken to the Citadel if they say or do something wrong. Hwanungs who are likely still among us are tired of hiding all the time. We ourselves come from a simple crowd, we know what changes need to be brought in for the sake of better living conditions. And we are ready to make them happen,” leader speaks confidently, not promising rosy outlooks, but stating facts. “We will establish the new Law, review the files of all prisoners and cut off any kind of persecution of innocent civilians. Once people feel the changes they will support the Government. That is exactly what our plan is.”

The Council ended on a peaceful note. Guys came back to doing their things, the life in the Clan kept on going. However each and every of them knows that they all feel the same. Conquering the Citadel has been their main goal from the very beginning, basically this was the only reason the Clan came to existence. One day they had to begin the final stage one way or another, otherwise everything they’ve done would’ve been just a dead letter and their Clan – a bunch of liars. But it always seemed the far future. Something that didn’t threaten them with dramatic changes. And now worries are boiling inside them. Because after the initial phase of their major mission there’s gonna be no way back. There’s gonna be only two outcomes: they either win or die together. The time of their calm life is running out. And the final countdown has already started. 

Minhyuk couldn’t fall asleep. He tossed around and turned all night, crammed the sheet into the corner, stood up to take a walk or stare at the window a few times, went to the kitchen to pour a glass of water, but the maximum he achieved was two hours of vague nap when mind is rather blurry yet physically one still feels the placement of their body on the bed as well as a chilly breeze tickling their cheek. He heard Shownu going out for a morning jog. Fifteen minutes later the garage door clicked – Jooheon got to his workplace. Soon Kihyun walked out of the next room. The Clan is waking up much earlier than usual. Seems like Hwanung wasn’t the only one who had trouble sleeping. 

Everyone is present at breakfast except for Changkyun. Maybe he’s sleeping soundly not knowing that the plan has suddenly changed. Maybe he just doesn’t want to come down and see them. Anyway nobody’s talking about it at the table. It feels like they’re having neutral conversations on purpose. Wonho’s giggling at stupid jokes on the back of a cereal box. Jooheon’s complaining about the humid air that has been this way for two weeks already. He says that he’s gonna cover all outer wooden surfaces with another coat of melted paraffin wax to prevent it from rotting. Minhyuk feels Shownu’s gaze on himself, but when he turns to him leader is already facing the other way. 

Hwanung saw Changkyun only when cleaning the kitchen up. He was wiping the table and noticed the back of his head flashing in the arch. Changkyun was on his way to Shownu’s office. As expected, he could bicker all day long, but he’d never dare to disobey their leader. 

When the job is done Minhyuk goes to the field for training. Destroying targets with the Energy is the best way to relieve stress. The more he lets out the lighter he feels. Hwanung can’t understand how he managed to live without ever using the Energy. The body is buzzing because of the overflowing power, feels extremely heavy and tensed if he keeps it inside even for mere two days. After practicing a continuous series of attacks azure sparks keep running on his palms for a while. Pleasant tiredness starts appearing. 

An hour and a half spent at the training field freshened up his head. The throat is scratching of thirst. Minhyuk brushes himself off and heads home. On the way he sees Shownu entering the workshop. Looks like his conversation with Changkyun is over. Hwanung goes to the kitchen, chugs a bottle of water he left on the table before and opens the fridge to get another one, but his hand stops the moment he opens the door. There’s an untouched meal dedicated to Changkyun. It’s gonna be lunchtime in two hours and he still hasn’t had breakfast yet. Minhyuk is reluctant, his fingers tap on the door. In the end, he takes the bowl out, warms it up in the microwave, grabs a fork and goes up the stairs. He’s not the type to bear grudges so he’s not angry at Changkyun’s behavior anymore. After all, Changkyun’s younger and very short-tempered. He was probably angry at himself afterwards. 

Minhyuk knocks and stands in front of his door for an entire minute before knocking one more time. Nothing new happens, still no response. If Changkyun didn’t want to see anyone he would’ve told about it in a harsh way much earlier indeed. He’s got quite a mouth on him especially when he's pissed. Hwanung chews on his cheek pondering what he should do. Maybe their maknae is wearing headphones? Or he went outside through the barely noticeable door in the corridor that leads to the workshop? It’d be stupid to just stand there and wait for god knows what anyway, so Minhyuk turns the handle and opens the door to check. 

He’s never been to this room, never had a chance. That’s why after seeing it for the first time Minhyuk thinks that he’s not only got the wrong door, but the wrong house. His eyes widen, lower jaw unconsciously drops. Because the room full of painted canvases, hundreds of paint tubes, brushes scattered all over the place, pencils and papers with sketches feels like a lost piece of another dimension. As if this door belonged to the Monsters Incorporated and led to a building that in reality was thousands of miles away. Mesmerized, Minhyuk makes two unsure steps forward. He lifts his eyes and almost falls down – that’s how dizzy he got. The entire ceiling was painted from corner to corner depicting a shimmering turquoise sea with foaming waves. 

“Took me five days,” Hwanung jumps when he hears Changkyun’s voice right behind his back and immediately turns around. “Kihyun was yelling like crazy because the whole house stank. I got so fucking stoned because of the paint like literally high. Had to ventilate the room for a week.”   
“I… I just…” Minhyuk starts babbling in panic. “I thought you were hungry and brought you food and you didn’t answer so I thought maybe you’re in headphones and I wanted to check it and without your permission I would never…”  
“Never mind,” Changkyun waves his hand, enters the room, closes the door that also had drawings stuck to it with thumbtacks and sits on his bed throwing sketchbooks and pencil off of it. “It’s not that I’m dismembering a dead body here.”

Minhyuk feels embarrassed because he got caught. At least Changkyun didn’t kick him out. Hwanung places a bowl on a more or less free space on a desk and unnaturally straightens his back rubbing his elbow. 

“So you draw?” he asks the most stupid question that could be asked in this situation.   
“Well, as you can see,” Changkyun shrugs and snickers huskily.  
“You’re really good at this,” admits Minhyuk honestly while looking around with more braveness and checking out beautiful paintings of different themes: from colorful landscapes to detailed cartoon scenes. “Did you study somewhere?”  
“The School of Art. Don’t look like it, do I?” he smirks leaning on the wall and after a pause adds in a lower voice. “My mom was an artist. Maybe still is, I don’t know.”

For the first time in months that he lives here Minhyuk sees in Changkyun not a cocky sarcastic boy, but a somewhat lost kid with drooping shoulders and dark sad eyes. He suddenly looks small on his wide bed surrounded by huge canvases that fill up the room in lines. Hwanung thinks if it’d be rude to break into his soul now, but eventually he asks him anyway. 

“What happened to your parents?”

Changkyun doesn’t reply right away. He finds a brush between the blanket hills and starts tossing its bristle. 

“My mom’s an artist and dad’s a marketer. He left to work in Brooklyn to earn us more money and after about a year he set an exhibition for my mother as a present. I couldn’t go because of school, so mom went there alone. And literally a week later it was announced that this fucking world was now consisting of Zones and crossing the barriers was strictly prohibited. They didn’t even let anyone come back. Jammed all communications and closed airports. I have no fucking clue what’s going on in their Zone. I don’t even know if they’re alive.”

The brush flies onto the floor. Changkyun clenches his jaws and heavily exhales through the nose. 

“The Art School kicked me the fuck out for not paying fees. My parents’ bank accounts were frozen, other relatives had died long ago. There were an uncle and an aunt of some sort that were my appointed guardians, but fuck them seriously. The only thing they cared about was the flat that came packaged with me. My whole fucking life went to shit,” Changkyun stares somewhere ahead with a cold rage, clenching and unclenching his fists. “I started to get into all sorts of trouble, got mixed up with some dangerous fuckers, fought every day, learned to shoot a gun and then found one of the Citadel’s motherfuckers. I attacked him of course, but it turned out he wasn’t alone. I was saved from a pathetic death by Shownu and Kihyun who also got a tip on that asshole. That’s how I got into the Clan. Had no shit to lose any more anyway.” 

Because of the drought the sound of rustling papers is always present in this room. Minhyuk looks at somber Changkyun whose pale face almost blends into the wall and really feels for him. He himself doesn’t remember his parents, so he has no one to miss. He doesn’t even have to guess – they were Hwanungs and since they were taken into the Citadel there’s absolutely no chance they’re still alive. However Changkyun really did lose everything in an instant: family, plans for the future, career. And he has no opportunity whatsoever to find out anything about his parents. He can’t even mourn them. Being in the dark is hard, but this darkness, this uncertainty at least saves you a little hope. 

“I’m sure your parents are fine,” Minhyuk sits on the bed right next to him and pats his knee. “If they’re not Hwanungs and have nothing to do with them then they’re in no danger. We’ll take over the Citadel and find a way to contact other Zones to find out where they are.”  
“This is the only reason I got involved into all this shit,” his mouth twists in a grin. “I’ll murder all those motherfuckers connected to the Citadel with my own hands for what they’ve done. There are so many separated families that lost everything they had because of them. Don’t know how, but I’ll find the way to get to Brooklyn. I’ll turn that city upside down in order to find mom and dad. And even if they’re dead I’ll at least say goodbye to them properly.”  
“They’re definitely alive, just believe in it,” Hwanung cheers him up. “Your mom will be so proud of your paintings.” 

Changkyun chuckles and lifts up his head. 

“You’re a nice lad, White Head,” he states and suddenly looks kinda insecure. “Listen, about what I said yesterday…”  
“Never mind,” Minhyuk repeats his own words and smiles. “I know you didn’t mean it, it’s fine.”

They remember about the food only when it’s completely cold. They have nothing to do, but go down to the kitchen where Kihyun has already began making dinner. He snatches the bowl out of Changkyun’s hands and says that it’s his own fault he missed the breakfast, so now he has to wait for lunch. Minhyuk barely holds back his laughter when Changkyun shows a middle finger to Kihyun’s back and runs away to Jooheon’s workshop where there are always stacks of some junk food. And in the room with the sea ceiling there’s a laminated photo of a family that didn’t know what future was waiting for them.


	11. Chapter 11

A dagger does a thousandth flip in the air and its bone handle lands right into Wonho’s hand. As usual, he’s laying on a beam, one leg down, reading a book and his left hand flips his favorite weapon at a height of three meters above the floor. One ridiculous accident and someone’s head might turn into a knife rack. Or his own palm will be sliced into two halves. But the Day Guardian isn’t worried about it at all. He’s sure his skills won’t betray him. 

“Shownu asked me to tell you he’s waiting for you at the training field.”  
“How did you know it was me?”

Minhyuk looks at the blonde hair standing out at the background of wooden ceiling with a genuine surprise. The head didn’t move an inch towards him when he entered the living room. No reflective surfaces are around, it was impossible to see him. 

“I listen to your footsteps all day every day. Distinguishing you guys from each other is a piece of shitcake.”   
“And how do I walk?”  
“Sneak around like a mouse,” his chuckle’s echoing. “From the very first day you walk like we have a mine field instead of parquet.” 

“My whole life is a mine field,” mumbles Hwanung when he’s outside. An extra careful walking became his habit back in the orphanage. They were given very little amount of food and from time to time the elders would take it away. He learned to walk quietly and quickly so that nobody could notice him stealing an apple from the kitchen and then hiding it in a flowerpot in the hallway. He’d go take it out at night while lurking in inky shadows and stepping only on those floorboards that didn’t squeak. During the last year there he got so brave he would sneak into the storage where cooks kept huge boxes of cookies so dry it felt like they were made out of sand. But at that time the taste of food was almost the last thing one could care about. It was fine as long as it was edible. Sometimes Minhyuk would grab a handful of sugar, put it into a little plastic bag and eat it for a couple of weeks either licking it of his fingers once in two days or dissolving it in water. 

Back then he realized that all comes with experience. During the first two years in the orphanage a couple of times he got caught stealing or wandering around the hallway at night. Getting whipped on calves with a ruler was painful and getting his hands hit on a dresser was even more painful. However after a few successful raids Minhyuk not only learned the best routes to different places, but also the pattern of workers’ movements, at which doors he should put rocks to keep them opened beforehand, what products were placed on which shelves and the amount of food he should steal so nobody would notice it. But still his heart was beating in a slippery hysteria making him wanna throw up and his ice-cold hands got wet every time. Because one clumsy move and the mine would blow up, he would be caught and punished so hard the courage to go hunt again wouldn’t come back any time soon. 

The orphanage was followed by dark Seoul streets where there are no CCTVs, but there is always an opportunity to earn some money if you got the guts or if you’re tough enough. Minhyuk didn’t know where he could find a job and thus he turned to a sphere he was more or less familiar with – stealing. 

Stole something from a store? Run. Nicked a wallet sticking out of a purse or a pocket? Run. Entered a restaurant through its backdoor on your tiptoes and stole a box of vegetables? Run. Laid low and stole something from a territory that’s under control of a local gang? Run, run for your life, don’t pay attention to your burning lungs that set sparks in your eyes, forget about blisters on your feet that show open flesh, don’t look at traffic lights and don’t listen to threatening yells behind, just run until you got turned inside out. Run and jump: over dumpsters, over barriers, over rushing cars, over scratching bushes and over sharp fences. 

Minhyuk managed to live like that for a year until he almost got into sweet embrace of policemen. Yes, he joined the Clan as a person who was clean as a white sheet: he never hurt anyone and knew nothing about bloody massacres, but he’s never been a law-abiding member of the society. 

Hwanung always lived surrounded by rules, but they were never his thing. Nevertheless, he had to give up that little step into the underworld for his own good. Finding himself in the cops’ hands would be as unpleasant as being caught by an infuriated gang. Minhyuk started to look for a job through newspapers and knock on all the establishment doors his eyes laid upon. For a hundred rude rejections he’d get one stiff acceptance.

Hwanung washed toilets and dishes, packed goods into boxes, carried barrels and wood, handed out flyers to scowling passerby, painted over graffiti, sorted trash, pumped gas. He wasn’t paid in time, was underpaid, was left to overwork, was offered to work in an escort, was humiliated, was fired because of a staff reduction. He couldn’t find his place anywhere and kept walking the only way he could out of habit: silently, carefully, hiding in dark corners. So nobody would touch him, so nobody would see him taking away teabags from the shared kitchen, so nobody would find a brick of soap from a storage in his pocket. Minhyuk was used to surviving, carefully walking on a mine field and even the softest carpet won’t break him of this habit. 

The air smells of cold coming from the forest. The nose tingles filled with the scent of a pond that has leaves, twigs and bits of moss sticking out of a first thin ice layer. The scent of frozen soil stirred up by a heavy boot. The scent of frozen paddles cracking under feet in the early morning. Minhyuk gets chilly and shivers. Soon one hoody isn’t gonna be enough. Maybe at especially cold night the backyard will turn into a canvas as white as his hair. The snow will be creaking beneath his boots, crystal snowflakes will stick to the windows and a little cloud of fog will come out every time he exhales. 

His palm slides over the metal fence as it always does. The holes in the ground have been already backfilled and evened out – Jooheon doesn’t waste his time and watches over the condition of their improvised training camp. Shownu is sitting by the far wall and easily gets up when he sees Hwanung. 

“Have you been waiting long?”  
“I’m in no rush,” leader shakes his head. “I want to give you something.” 

Intrigued Minhyuk stretches out his neck watching Shownu taking something out from the box with targets. When he finally recognizes the object he gasps involuntarily. 

“You said I’d get it after ten bullseyes.”   
“Hadn’t you proved you can shoot I’d probably wouldn’t have been here,” Shownu gives him a crossbow the length of an arm. “It’s yours now.” 

The new weapon reminds Hwanung of a little bow placed horizontally and that has a part of a rifle’s body attached. The weight and its distribution are different from bows that he’s used to, so it’s hard to imagine how to shoot this thing and get anything besides constant misses yet. He tells Shownu about it. 

“You just need to get used to it. Actually it’s very convenient, you’ll get a grasp of it fast if you practice.”  
“I left notebooks in the room, but I’m ready for the lecture, my great Master,” Minhyuk jokingly salutes him while trying to keep a serious face. 

Looks like he failed because leader’s lips curve in a slight smile that makes a dozen of warm lamps inside turn on. His smile is as rare as a double rainbow, however the feeling of an unknown miracle turns out to be much stronger. 

“Usually cocking the crossbow takes time and some tools depending on its type, but Jooheon managed to make us upgraded versions,” Shownu points at a thick string. “You gotta pull it back with the arrow nock and push the button behind the handle that will cock it automatically in a matter of seconds. We removed the safety lock, so be careful and also don’t wrap your thumb around the crossbow forearm.” 

Minhyuk is nervous. On the one hand, he’s excited and wants to try a new weapon, but on the other hand, his heart beats faster because of the fear that he might make a mistake and shoot his foot by accident. 

“Same position as for rifles, torso to the right a little. Place your right hand on the fore-grip,” Shownu helps him hold the crossbow. “Left hand on the grip behind the trigger. Put the buttstock against your shoulder. Is it comfortable?”  
“It’s fine.”  
“Good. Firmly seat your cheek onto the stock to allow you to peer down the scope with your dominant eye, but don’t tense up your neck. Left arm pressed to your chest and stomach, right elbow a little lifted. Remember this position.” 

The weight of the crossbow pulls down his arms. Somewhere at the back of his mind he thinks that his upper body will hurt like crazy after upcoming trainings. Minhyuk concentrates and fixates his physical senses, putting the placement of the crossbow into his tactile memory. Then Shownu asks him to put it down, shows how to cock it properly and suggests to turn to the target standing outside the fence right away. 

“Slightly lean back, it will compensate the weight. Breathe deeply and shoot halfway through the exhale. Pull the trigger slowly, never jerky.” 

Leader fixes his position from behind and the memories of the day he taught him to shoot a bow strike Hwanung’s mind. The feeling of security coming from the warmth of the other person’s body kinda pressing against his own came back. And if back then Minhyuk reacted to that with surprise and caution since he wasn’t used to it, then now he realizes that he’s been waiting for it. He wanted to feel the arms almost wrapped around him because this way he feels protection and confidence that the person he trusts radiates.

Catching himself getting distracted and thinking about things he shouldn’t think about Hwanung forces himself to block unnecessary emotions and focus on the target. However he can’t ignore the tingling caused by Shownu’s hand that he didn’t put away from Minhyuk’s back even when he made a step back. 

“Inhale,” Minhyuk obediently breathes in the air filled with leader’s tangy perfume and the aroma of frozen soil. “Exhale.” 

His finger pulls the trigger softly, gently even. A slight recoil makes the muzzle go to the upper right. The arrow sticks out from the very last stripe of the target, literally a millimeter away from the edge. As if someone wanted to pull a rope through it and hang it on a Christmas tree. Minhyuk clicks tongue in disappointment. 

“Not to miss your very first shot from a new kind of weapon is a very good result,” Shownu’s gaze is almost filled with delight when he looks at Hwanung’s frowning face and his eyes squint a little when he deduces one thing. “You demand perfect shooting from yourself. You didn’t even wanna pick up a weapon before, but now you don’t go easy on yourself.”  
“I don’t like losing, you know,” Minhyuk relaxes his face muscles and smiles at his words. “I have found my place, found my thing and I’m not gonna yield to anyone. Even to myself.”  
“I do know now.” 

Just one short sentence, but Hwanung notices a strange burst of joy inside. Because it seems like Shownu really is interested in him and remembers all the information he can possibly find out. The joy immediately gets suppressed by common sense. Do not give out desirable for valid – save yourself a bunch of disappointments. But a little cloud of pleasure floats under his ribs anyway. 

Seeing through the mechanics of an arrow’s direction and getting used to it turns out to be difficult. Minhyuk can’t get close to the center at all and just keeps piercing the last two stripes. He wants to believe Shownu’s words that a crossbow takes more time to get used to than a bow, but he still can’t stop being angry at himself. In the end, they decide to take a break when two white targets look like strainers. A conversation about the weather while drinking a bottle of water comes back to weapons, however it takes a more serious turn. 

“I don’t know if there is any point in training with the crossbow,” Minhyuk confesses the thoughts that have been bothering him. “Even if I master it, a gun will be more useful in the Citadel. It doesn’t need to be reloaded after every shot.”  
“The more options we have the better. Once you’re run out of bullets you’ll have arrows. Besides, a crossbow is much quieter than a gun with a suppressor.”  
“If only arrows could get as deep inside as bullets do. Or if they could even tear the flesh like the Energy then it would be a perfect weapon.”

The wind passing between metal sheets is whistling which makes chills run. Through the open side leaves crazily dancing on the field can be seen. The best thing to do in this weather would be to stay home and make yourself jasmine tea every hour instead of sitting on the ground and thinking about the massacre they’re gonna take part in. Minhyuk tries his best to accept this fact, but it doesn’t let him calm down and sucks into a storm of anxiety which is why he notices Shownu’s piercing gaze only after a while. 

“What’s wrong?” asks confused Minhyuk.   
“It’s hard for you to attack with the Energy because you can’t aim properly, right?”  
“Erm… yeah?”  
“And arrows don’t have a tearing effect.” 

Hwanung nods, furrows his eyebrows and keeps staring at Shownu’s face who seems to be thinking about something so hard his jaws clenched. A minute later he lifts his head and looks into Minhyuk’s eyes, but remains silent. Hwanung still can’t understand what he wants from him when their mental connection stabilizes at the flick of a switch and a soundless dialogue appears in his head. 

“That’s impossible,” he starts actively shaking his hands in the air. “The Energy destroys everything it touches except for Hwanungs.”   
“You haven’t even tried.”  
“Jeonghan told me about that and if anyone knows something about the Energy it’s him.”  
“Jeonghan is Jeonghan. You can’t be sure about anything until you try it yourself.”

Shownu’s voice sounds firm and convincing yet it’s not enough to completely reverse Minhyuk’s negative attitude. Even though he agrees with the thought he clearly knows the reality and can’t imagine the way leader’s wild idea could be implemented in practice. 

“I can’t just take the Energy and place it instead of an arrow. Even if it, by some miracle, doesn’t turn the crossbow into a pile of ashes, I won’t be able to shoot it since it doesn’t have any physical matter, it’s not an object.”  
“But an arrow is,” Shownu’s dark eyes are full of determination when he explains his idea. “There are tribes who dip their arrows in poison before shooting them. If we take the Energy as poison then the effect will be crushing. Surround an arrow with the Energy and then shoot it with a crossbow. Doesn’t matter where it gets – an enemy will be destroyed.”  
“Isn’t it easier to just throw the Energy? There’s no need to reinvent the wheel.”  
“It takes you time to form it into an orb and you can’t aim properly because, firstly, it wavers too much, and secondly, throwing something always has a pretty wide margin of errors,” leader wraps his fingers around Minhyuk’s wrist and seems like he doesn’t even realize that he’s doing it. “You need space to swing and space means danger. The crossbow allows you to shoot while hiding.” 

Minhyuk forgets to breathe when Shownu’s face suddenly gets very close to his own. He gets lost for a while perplexedly looking at Shownu. An eyebrow scar, chestnut eyes, tan skin, coral lips, high cheekbones – everything is the way Minhyuk remembers. Only now his expression states crystal clear that the idea that despite the upcoming winter has lit a summer fire inside him completely took over his mind. Usually serious and calm, he suddenly became so alive and so excited that Hwanung is ready to do whatever the hell he asks him to. If he asks to burn the whole forest down – he will. If he asks him to walk on shattered glass – he will. If it’s something that evokes emotions in Shownu then he will do it. 

“Okay, let’s assume that’s an option,” Minhyuk blinks a couple times forcing himself to get back to reality, twists his hand that’s still being held and his fingers slightly stroke leader’s wrist. “But I can’t even imagine how to do it. How to make the Energy surround and object but not destroy it?”  
“That’s what we need to find out.” 

So another series of personal trainings has started with the difference that now Shownu stays with him and the goal is much difficult than everything before. Whereas previously he had a certain algorithm: let the Energy out, set the limits, form, aim, shoot, - now he has no framework whatsoever, there’s not even a single point he should stick to. Minhyuk basically is supposed to make a miracle. 

At first Hwanung was against Shownu being with him. Objects in his hands explode and fly around in different directions and the last thing he wants to do is to hurt Shownu. However Shownu categorically refused to leave the fenced territory. He keeps saying that he has to watch the process, make sure Minhyuk doesn’t hurt himself and figure out the way to completely conquer the Energy together. Arguing with him was useless. 

A box comes after a box. Pebbles, twigs, screws, bolts, pencils – they use everything that’s not big and has no value. Gradually the uneven area of land got covered in a thick layer of dirty-greyish dust that every object gotten into Minhyuk’s hands have turned into. When his hands get swollen and start bleeding Shownu forces him to go home and rest until the next morning even though Hwanung is always eager to keep on training. The same thing happened again: the idea got him fired up and he couldn’t stop anymore. The others were trying to figure out what was going on behind the fence, but their leader made it clear that until the goal is accomplished no one’s gonna know about it except two of them. And Kihyun as it turned out later. 

On the third day Shownu was making tea for them in the kitchen while looking at hazelnut-like stains floating around a teabag. Suddenly the teabag froze in the air, stayed like that for half a minute and fell down into the mug. Leader was no longer in the kitchen. Making giant strides he almost flew back to the training field and shared his new thoughts with Minhyuk. 

What if instead of placing the Energy straight onto an object and trying to make it dive into the Energy he could form something like a tape to wrap around that object? Minhyuk is able to form an orb because he keeps its sides together in some form of a sheath. He controls that sheath only, but the center is still chaotic. So what if he stretches this orb with a controlled sheath and wraps it around a pebble, for example? Those particles that Minhyuk controls will touch the surface, but they won’t fly around and get into it and this is exactly what causes the destruction. 

Hwanung has never looked at his power from this angle. He’s been trying to “tame” the whole mass and stop it from cracking things into atoms, but the practice showed that taking control over all the particles simultaneously was impossible. It could take a year if not more while they don’t even have half of it. That’s why Shownu’s suggestion seemed the first adequate idea throughout these days they’ve been training. 

New attempts are executed according to the new strategy, however boxes still get emptied at incredible speed. The dust floats in the air all the time, settling on clothes, hair, throat and feels like even inside the lungs. The first clue to progress appeared on a second day. The stretched Energy gently landed on a pebble and for the whole five seconds that Minhyuk considered a hallucination at first nothing happened. Only when a barely visible sheath of the Energy burst and opened a way for the chaotic mass inside the pebble exploded into tiny pieces. Shownu sprang to his feet and they exchanged “You saw that too right?” looks. 

Seemingly there’s been a development. But the reality was as colorless and dry as concrete blocks at an abandoned construction site. A little sparkle of success has drowned in an endless sea of failures because Hwanung not only couldn’t extend the control time, he couldn’t even repeat what he had somehow done before. Not after a day, not after two days, not after three days. The thought of giving up has started to crawl inside his brain like nimble nasty roaches. And what added fuel to the fire was an unclear situation that built up between him and Shownu. 

Minhyuk suggested to take a break. So leader could do some of his own errands and Minhyuk could get distracted and practice his melee and shooting skills. He at least needs an enhanced series of training with the crossbow that he hadn’t touched since the first time. However it almost seemed like Shownu became obsessed with that idea and didn’t even want to hear about anything else. “You gotta try again.” “We can’t stop.” “Just keep practicing.” 

He became much stricter and tough even though he would soothingly rub Hwanung’s shoulders trying to support him during little breaks. It felt like leader had split into two personalities: one asks him to dress up warmer and takes care of his wounds every evening while the other one orders to try again and again almost dragging him to another box by the collar. 

“We have to keep trying, Minhyuk,” they’re standing on the first floor next to the stairs, Shownu puts his hands on Minhyuk’s arms above the elbows and slightly squeezes them. “I know you can do it. You have to learn how to control yourself before we attack the Citadel.” 

Shownu’s face leans forward a little bit and Hwanung’s heart jumps as usual. Leader is openly looking into his eyes, the heat from his palms melts Minhyuk’s skin that was cold after being outside. Such familiar facial features and a soft voice make him wanna relax, trust him and just say yes to everything. But this is when Minhyuk blasts. His temples get hit with the realization of something he’s been trying to deny for a whole week. He shakes off Shownu’s hands and makes a firm step back feeling how a disgusting and dangerous lump of hysteria gathers under his Adam’s apple. 

“No… you…” the words barely come out and can’t link into a sentence, it sounds like water drops falling down in a sink at night. “I thought… thought you were different…” 

This is not what Minhyuk wanted to say. Frankly, he doesn’t even know what exactly he wanted to say. He briefly notices how Shownu’s face gets dark (as if someone turned off the light on the veranda) when his own brain stops functioning. Minhyuk takes off running up the stairs and storms into his room stumbling and almost falling down. Shame, disgust and stupid howling inside his chest choke him up. He doesn’t even have a clue that a murky figure hiding in the kitchen shadows has witnessed their conversation. 

Shownu is using him. He’s using him just like he had used him many times before. He found out what Minhyuk needed the most: warmth, protection and the feeling that he’s not a nothing, that he’s special, - and then he started pushing the right buttons to make Minhyuk follow his orders like a happy golden retriever. Shownu makes him get attached and when needed he pretends to care about him, calms him down, looks into his eyes and touches him gently, it almost feels real. He knows perfectly that Minhyuk will obediently do anything to get another dosage of emotions. Shownu decided to make a perfect weapon out of him that shots at his command and what’s more important it shots to death. That’s why he doesn’t leave the fenced field, that’s why he doesn’t let him do other things. The control must be placed in leader’s hands and leader must make sure that the weapon will be ready on time and won’t misfire. 

What was Minhyuk even hoping for? Did he really think that his life matters? That someone needs him as a person? That Shownu, a smart and strong leader of the Clan who without any hesitation will kill anyone standing on his way, needs him? Minhyuk is just a miserable orphanage scum whose life costs a big amount of money. He must be thankful that Shownu treated him so well, even gave a stupid hope for, God almighty, feelings that he just doesn’t deserve. And, come to think of it, Minhyuk really is thankful. Even more, he’s ready to swallow his pride to dive into that illusion of being needed by someone again. 

The unexpected realization of the situation was so shocking that tears didn’t even come out. Hwanung just sits on his bed, frozen like a stone. Like one of those stones he so enthusiastically crashed into dust in order to be praised by his “owner”. He doesn’t know for how long he has been sitting like that. He slipped out of the reality and didn’t notice room getting semidark.


	12. Chapter 12

Knuckles knock on the door abruptly. In the silenced house it sounds more like if someone threw pebbles at a concrete wall. Minhyuk expected to see literally anyone but Kihyun whose hand hits the switch with a crack. Without saying hello or asking for permission he quietly closes the door (he always starts scolding if someone dares to bang doors) and leans back on it crossing his arms and waiting for Minhyuk to get used to the light. His chin is buried behind high collar of a grey turtleneck. 

“Where did I screw up?” gloomily asks Hwanung the most obvious question that came to his mind when the world that sparked in a flash starts being clear again.  
“Why do you think you screwed up?” Kihyun narrows eyes in bewilderment.   
“You only talk to me when I do something wrong.” 

For a while Kihyun’s face remains impenetrable and then his lips curve in a smirk – a quite rare phenomenon. 

“Touché,” he admits tilting his head to Minhyuk’s direction who can’t understand what’s going on. “Yet I came here not to discuss our relationship but rather your and Shownu’s relationship.”

Minhyuk’s gaze freezes intensely. He feels like someone’s just hit his chest with a heavy boot. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
“I’m not blind, Minhyuk. Observing people is my job and, trust me, I know how to do my job, especially when emotional scenes take place right in front of my kitchen. And also I’m tired of all the mess that’s been going around, so I’m gonna be blunt,” Kihyun looks calmly resolute whereas Minhyuk has his insides nastily twisting. “I didn’t approve of it since the beginning. We’re absolutely not in a situation to build personal life. The timing is also bad.” 

It’s hard to keep something a secret when living in one house. It’s especially hard when at least one person wouldn’t mind ripping your head off because you had accidentally invaded his territory one day. Minhyuk prepares himself for a long lecture about what a piece of shit he is and how disgusting his stupid feelings are. Feelings that are so easy to manipulate. As if his own séances of self-flagellation aren’t effective enough. 

“But much later I thought “Maybe it’s for the best?” Maybe the fact that in the midst of all these fights and murders at least two of us could feel something besides vengeance is good? At least the two of you remained human.”

Hwanung keeps silent not looking up. The storming wind shakes window glass, smells like forest coldness. Minhyuk feels like something’s irregularly shaking inside him as well, fueled by a sudden conversation and completely unexpected words. 

“I see that you’re wavering and doubting. You can’t really understand what’s happening,” continues Kihyun. “But please don’t push him away because of your fear if he decides to make a step forward. If someone among us, besides you who still hasn’t got that covered in dirt, deserves something like happiness then it’s Shownu.” 

Minhyuk’s face grimaces as if a slice of bitter lemon sticks to the roof of his mouth. He can’t control his expression nor words. 

“He’s not gonna do that. And you all know why. He’s interested in me only because I’m a Hwanung. I’m a Hwanung and I’ve got powers that might be used to reach the universal goal,” Minhyuk throws his hands in the air with frustration feeling a new wave of self-hatred after saying his thoughts out loud. “That’s it, end of story, doesn’t matter what I feel.” 

Minhyuk is close to losing control over his emotions in front of Kihyun too. Because his emotions sense the weakness and run him over in a form of powerful suffocating tsunami. For some time he really was sure that Shownu and him both feel the same way. When Shownu rested his eyes on him, squeezed his shoulder, talked about something personal, reached for his face but stopped. Now Minhyuk understands that it’s all was a self-deception. He saw what he wanted to see. In reality Shownu has always perceived him as a wonderful weapon. Hwanungs have always been and will always be property. 

“Idiot.” 

Kihyun surprises him for the third time in one day. He reaches the bed in two steps and smacks him upside the head, probably, fulfilling his long-held wish. It’s the same relief people get when they carry heavy boxes, get an itchy nose but can do nothing about it and just bear with it. They endure it, try to get distracted from that annoying sensation, but eventually they throw everything down and scratch their skin with nails, almost pulling it off. Hwanung instinctively tucks his head into shoulders and looks at Kihyun half-shocked half-offended. 

“I’ve known Shownu for years. He saw his family getting killed, wandered around dirty slums trying to survive, fought until his bones broke earning the authority, he managed to get to the top of the Clan hierarchy and he does everything to protect us. He literally has died from the inside and gone through hell. But god damn it his eyes lit up when you got here. His coldness turned into calmness. I’ve got no clue whatsoever what he has found in you, but when he’s looking at you he looks like he’s never had a gun in his hands,” Kihyun, standing above him, speaks honestly, doesn’t hold back and puts a piece of meaning into every word even though he doesn’t like it. “You think he’s training you so hard in order to use you as a unique weapon? Bullshit. He does it in order to make sure you’ll make it out of there alive when we attack the Citadel. He doesn’t care about himself at all, but your safety has become his priority.”  
“You don’t understand. He got obsessed with that freaking crossbow the second he realized I could be used as the source of its Energy. The crossbow that shoots the Energy in my hands is the ace up his sleeve.”   
“You’re even stupider than I thought. What did he even find in you, I just don’t get it,” Kihyun sighs heavily as if he was talking to a dimwit. “You know why exactly the crossbow? Because you won’t have to get straight to the battlefield. He knows you won’t agree to sit on the sidelines so he’s been racking his brain trying to figure out how to save you from the direct participation in the massacre. And the idea with your goddamn Energy happened to appear so conveniently in time.” 

Cracking, more cracking and even more cracking. Kilometers away, in Seoul, a person of art is hammering nails into a canvas. They merge into one indistinct mess and then he makes a dozen steps back. He sees a picture. Complete and meaningful. Something that a minute ago looked like a chaotic mass turned out to be a masterpiece. The stalled processes inside Hwanung’s head remind of this picture. Minhyuk is speechless when his mind makes a few steps back and aligns separate dots into distinct lines. The only thing he manages to blurt is pointless “I…” just like not so long ago downstairs. Kihyun doesn’t need his response anyway. He leaves finishing his tirade with last words:

“We all might die in the Citadel. If I were you I’d think about it and get my priorities in order. You might not have this chance again.” 

The door closes quietly, but the draught makes windows shake once more and the coniferous wind is howling. Minhyuk feels like as if he’s been wedged into the bed and covered in concrete. He can’t move, his body is paralyzed and he has to force the air into lungs because his chest refuses to move up and down. Today his heart is riding a rollercoaster, the entrance is free. 

It’s scary to believe Kihyun’s words, but he can’t deny them, he’s not able to get them out of his head. What if he’s right? What if he’s right and Hwanung pushed Shownu away for nothing? Pushed away, humiliated, spat on his soul and stomped on it. How is Minhyuk supposed to look him in the eye after that? It is at this point when he wants to see his leader so much his ribs hurt. Hold Shownu’s face in his hands and take a proper look, peer right into his soul no matter how dirty and shattered it might be, and see that sincerity Minhyuk has been seeking. Or see only a salad of greed and fake worry, season it with left pieces of self-respect and swallow it. And a couple of months later go obediently die for the ideals of the person who made Minhyuk love life. And himself. 

Does Shownu really see something more in him than the power of the Energy? Does he really want something different from him and not obedience of a perfect weapon? Minhyuk honestly doesn’t know what he can have that would get Shownu interested in him as a human. Because he himself is not a human. He is something that appeared suddenly, accidentally and unwantedly. Both in this world and in this house. Are there even any reasons at all to love him and see through the nature of a Hwanung? 

Maybe if Minhyuk has really learned something while living here then it must be courage. At least this is what he wants to believe when he forces himself to stand up and in a darkness of an empty corridor go down to the leader’s office. His steps are fast and his head is intentionally empty, thoughts blocked. Minhyuk has to get there in time before the block breaks and his inner demons will stone him to death. Everybody has them, these demons. Their caring voices keep chanting inside your temples that nothing’s gonna work out, that you have to give up in advance otherwise it’s gonna be worse, more painful and much scarier. They say that they’re doing it for your own good, they’re warning you. However Hwanung has already found out that all of this is bullshit. They’re not afraid of failure, they’re afraid of success because they’re not ready for it and it scares the living hell out of them. 

The first door gets almost kick-opened. The second door makes Minhyuk stop. He tries to think of what he’s gonna say when his ice-cold fingers are shaking in front of a code panel. They’re drawing little eights in the air just like the gun muzzle on his first day of trainings. If he learned how to handle a pistol then he can definitely handle his own fingers. Hwanung enters the right combination deciding to let events take their course. He’ll cross that bridge when he gets there. Maybe he’ll just be thrown out of the office. 

Shownu is sitting at the desk under a yellowish light of the lamp and is blindly looking at the glass of whiskey. He reacts to the door opening with a delay either not hearing it or thinking that it was Kihyun who came to get the papers. When their eyes interlock they both freeze not knowing how to react to each other now. Another statue exhibition. The first meeting and a fateful sentence (surprisingly not a death sentence) flash in Minhyuk’s mind. The picture changes into Shownu’s warm hand that stops a millimeter away from his cheek with a red wound. The memory that Minhyuk kept like the most treasured relic. 

“Did something happen?” 

Leader is the first one to start talking because he still has the weight of responsibilities on his shoulders. Duty first and only after that emotions (better never). In his voice Hwanung hears tiredness, concern and a mix of something else. A little tornado is swirling inside in sadness, but the determination stays.

“Swear you’ll be honest with me.” 

The only thing Minhyuk is sure about right now is his desire to sort things out and pull off the fake decorations. When you’re crossing a bridge you prefer the boards, even though weak ones, over papers that look like wood but have no use except for the appearance. 

“I swear,” Shownu wasn’t expecting such a tough beginning, but he consciously nods after a little pause.   
“And when I say honest I mean 100% honest no matter how harsh the truth might be. Even if the truth is that all of this is…” Minhyuk stammers, gives himself a break and puts his thoughts together again. “I’ll take everything. And if you say that I’m nothing more but just your way to win the war then I’ll take it and won’t go anywhere. I’ll do everything you ask me to do, but, please, don’t lie to me.”  
“What?” 

Shownu’s eyebrows furrow, the tone of his voice is filled with surprise and bewilderment. His thoughts remind of magnets scattered around that start getting attached to each other in order to form something complete, they slide over the table with a scratching noise. Leader looks at sincerely desperate Hwanung, his heart is throbbing. And finally a completed construction set clicks. Shownu jumps to his feet and goes towards Minhyuk.

“You think that I…”

Minhyuk makes a step back and leader stops short because this action loudly slaps his face harder than any of the fists he’s got hit by before. There’s no blood, but its metallic bitter taste is as apparent as ever. It’s on his gums, tongue, wrist, fingers, little dip between clavicles. It’s sobering and pulling the ground out from under his feet at the same time. Because he sees fear in Minhyuk’s eyes. It’s not a fear of him, it’s a fear of what he might get to know. As if he just doesn’t believe in a chance of hearing something else, something opposed to his thoughts. Minhyuk is sure that the only thing that can be done to him is using him and he’s even ready to accept it thinking that it’s the maximum of human relations that he deserves. The realization of this fact shocks Shownu and evokes a stinging pain as if someone is scratching his skin with a sand paper. 

“I’d smash with my bare hands all those who did this to you,” leader slowly exhales and immediately looks much older when he lets coolness disappear from his face. “You’ve always been special to me. I don’t know how, but you manage to combine fear and determination in yourself. Fear that was given to you by people and determination that was given to you by nature. You’re scared, but you still do something if you think that it’s necessary. And you always find the strength to smile – that’s something I’ll never be able to learn. You look serious and dangerous when you’re shooting a bow, but then you shine softly when I praise you. That’s what I see in you, Minhyuk. I don’t see a weapon, I see that in this dirty world there’s still unspoiled beauty that I want not to fight for but live for.” 

Shownu has been watching him since the very first day. At the beginning it was out of interest. He checked what this boy could really do, how he acts, how he fills in. But then he couldn’t get his eyes off of him anymore. Right in front of his eyes scared and cowed Minhyuk was getting stronger, more confident, he was fighting his way off a shell that the obstacles had shoved him into. He was flourishing, smiling brighter and brighter, squaring his shoulders. When their gazes crossed Minhyuk would look back at him with fire in his eyes. Leader remembers how Minhyuk’s lily of the valley hair was tickling his nose when he was showing him how to hold a bow better. Probably this was the moment when Shownu emerged from the swamp of his past at the bottom of which he had been willingly staying for many long years. He lifted his head up and started breathing crazily, floundered trying to grab the land, breathing in the air that was so unfamiliar it burned his lungs. He purposefully stayed at the depths not even thinking that he could try to push off his feet from the mud and fight for the opportunity to see the light again. Until the light found him itself. 

For a while Minhyuk stands leaning back a little, chin up. Cautiously, carefully, watching from a distance, estimating. Every word slides down his boiling mind like an ice cube. It’s strange for him to hear things like that about himself and he doesn’t know how to react. Can he really mean so much to someone? Does he really deserve it? The thought of him being used is cowardly tucked into the corner, but it still exists and even manages to furiously pierce his heart with a needle of doubt making him stand in one place not being able to say a word. 

Clearly seeing the battle inside the person in front of him Shownu goes back and leans on a desk from the front side sort of semi sitting on it. Minhyuk needs time, he understands it and doesn’t want to pressure him. Everything’s gonna be the way Hwanung decides. So Minhyuk stares at him. He observes how a calm humility lays upon Shownu’s weary face. He looks open, unarmed, he gives Minhyuk complete freedom of action. It seems like he won’t move even if Minhyuk puts a knife to his throat. As if he really trusts him with his life. 

For the first time there is an absolutely sober thought in Hwanung’s head: “He’s telling the truth.” The worm of doubt starts beating it violently jumping at it and yelling uncontrollably. A small logic chain is trying to separate them bringing up the facts. Shownu accepted him and showed his interest even before he found out that he’s a Hwanung. They got that strange common vibe when Minhyuk’s hands holding a gun stopped shaking because of their leader’s presence. They were already perceiving each other differently when they were collecting arrows from targets while having short conversations. Minhyuk didn’t imagine all of that, did he? He really felt that he was being treated in a special way? 

His body finally gains back the ability to move. Three wide steps and Minhyuk stands close to Shownu, looking at him slightly from the above since leader’s in a semi-sitting position. Minhyuk gently holds Shownu’s face. His pale finger slides over tan skin, touches the old eyebrow scar. His left hand moves up and strokes coal hair with some grey stripes – the medals of life. 

“You’re not lying to me, are you?” after a minute Minhyuk’s husky voice breaks the silence of the wooden office.   
“I’m not,” responds Shownu putting his hand on top of Hwanung’s hand still on his cheek. “I have never lied to you. Never.” 

Minhyuk believes it. In the dark eyes he sees everything that’s hidden from other people. Tiredness, honesty, pain, worries, doubts. Warmth. Adoration. Waiting. And it’s impossible to resist such openness. Minhyuk leans forward and kisses Shownu indecisively at first, carefully, but when the warmth of a hand placed on his back reassures him that everything’s fine, he closes his eyes and moves forward. 

The heat coming from Shownu’s body greatly contrasts with the chillness of the room. His mind switches off, Minhyuk’s fully focuses on touches: both his and leader’s. He wants to feel the softness of his lips longer, harder, closer. Shownu’s fingers smoothly move from his back to his waist and slightly squeeze it pressing him against his body. A sudden wave of heat makes Minhyuk’s back arch and he almost falls on Shownu. The latter pulls away, looks into his eyes intensely, so that breathing becomes rather difficult and switches places with him. Shownu lifts Minhyuk, turns round and puts him on a desk. 

“That’s more comfortable,” he shortly explains before kissing him again. 

A glass with two half melted ice cubes gets tossed to the very edge of the desk, balancing halfway in the air. A pen rolls off with a metal clicking and falls down on the floor, so does another one. Papers that are flying around rustle. Nobody’s interested in the environment at the moment. Let it all crash and fall, doesn’t matter. Minhyuk’s hands smoothly rub strong shoulders, his index finger clings to the shirt collar and slightly scratches the skin when a button accidentally gets undone. His hand slides down and stops at the level of the powerfully beating heart. Shownu is so close and kisses him so passionately that Minhyuk doesn’t even remember where he is and who he is anymore. The warmth of another man’s skin is intoxicating. 

In the yellowish lamp light long dark shadows crawl on the floorboards, curve and crawl up the bookshelves. Shownu with the part of his mind that is still controlled by some inhumane force realizes that he doesn’t want to stop at all and more likely will not. He strokes the lily of the valley hair that he would look for every time he passed by windows, bites Minhyuk’s lower lip and feels him smiling. Shownu slowly caresses Hwanung’s thigh squeezing it from tine to time. When the lips aren’t enough anymore he moves to his chin and then makes a path down his neck with little kisses. Minhyuk unconsciously tilts back his head and loudly exhales through the nose. His fingers press the back of leader’s head when he kisses his collarbones. The world around them is spinning, floating, breaking down into atoms. 

They get so lost in each other and lose the connection to everything else so much they don’t hear the sound of code panel digits being pushed. The realization of something being off only comes when the door opens widely. 

“Listen Shownu I wanted to ask if…” 

Hyungwon freezes at the doorway with the end of the sentence stuck in his throat. Breathless Minhyuk with rosy cheeks is sitting on the desk tightly hugged by Shownu whose shirt is half unbuttoned. With eyes wide open they look at the unexpected guest the way people would look at a polar bear in the Sahara Desert. It’s impossible not to understand what’s been going on. An awkward silence accompanied by the rustle of papers that flew up because of the draught lasts for nearly five seconds. 

“Got it, I’ll come back tomorrow I guess.” 

Keeping the best poker face possible he makes a few steps back and closes the door. At first they keep pointlessly staring at the empty corner. Shownu turns his head back and their puzzled gazes cross. A moment later they laugh quietly. Leader’s eyes turn into crescents, little crinkles appear. Minhyuk giggles covering his mouth with a fist. 

“I bet that looked interesting,” he says catching his breath.   
“Next time he’ll knock.” 

In a current situation the intense energy drops down. Mind gets clearer, heads stop spinning, the realization that there are five more people in the house and that something more serious than kissing will be rather troublesome becomes apparent. When the laughter stops they look at each other again and stay like that for a while slightly smiling. The disappearance of unspoken things makes it easier to breathe. Finally Shownu leans forward, gives him a soft kiss and then lowers his head resting it on Minhyuk’s shoulder. One hand’s on the desk, the other on Minhyuk’s waist. 

“I don’t want to let go of you.” 

The words he’s never said suddenly come out easily. The comfort coming from someone who’s absolutely loyal to him, he’s more than sure about it, breaks down the barriers and builds something new, something one of a kind. Minhyuk became the spring in his never ending winter of life. Shownu wants to give himself a break at least when he’s next to this person. At least once. 

“I don’t want you to let go of me.” 

Minhyuk’s fingers start caressing Shownu’s coal hair, right hand placed on his back, chin on his shoulder. It’s warm, it’s calm. He closes his eyes and lets himself drown in a feeling of being needed and protected. When he’s with Shownu he’s not scared. When he’s with Shownu there are no Hunters, no detectors, no Citadel and no upcoming war. There’s only the two of them, silence and comfort that they both have forgotten about long time ago and that they both didn’t believe in anymore. At least before the day Minhyuk entered the office. 

And on the other side of the window the storm was already coming.


	13. Chapter 13

A page gets turned with a crispy rustling, a finger that has a ring imitating barbed wire made of black metal presses it. Wonho’s leg is swinging like a pendulum on the same trajectory at the same speed. A lace of an army boot hits its hard top every two seconds. Day Guardian is reading yet another clever book and smirks every now and then. “There are no absolutely bad people. Everybody has something good in them,” his fingernail underlines this expression, lips curve in a poisonous grin. 

“Say it to all those whose loved ones got killed, I’m sure they’ll appreciate it,” Wonho takes two long sips from a half-burgundy glass enjoying the taste. “All the good people have been eaten by maggots long time ago, their era has come to an end.”

The living room is empty. Hyungwon’s tossed blanket lays on a sofa, a half of it is hanging and sliding over the floor every time the wind blows. The table is crowded with mugs and glasses, a little fly is hurriedly crawling on an unfinished apple, there is also a stain of noodle sauce on the surface of the table. For that Kihyun’s gonna give a long and tedious nag to Wonho who doesn’t really care. He’s not even gonna go down from his favorite beam, he’ll just sluggishly wave his hand infuriating Kihyun even more. Wonho knows that in the end all the mess will be cleaned up by Minhyuk so he doesn’t see a point in moving his own ass. 

It’s just a normal day, no special plans. Somewhere far the thunder rumbles, but the rain isn’t here yet: swollen clouds are gathering above the house in thick uneven layers. Because of that some inky shadows are running across rooms. It can be heard how in the kitchen Kihyun’s knife hits the cutting board dozens of times, gets quiet for fifteen seconds and comes back to work. Hyungwon went to his beloved attic to have some sleep after the night shift. Changkyun is in the garage acting like a wireless radio to Jooheon. Shownu and Minhyuk are at the training field. What else can bored Wonho do if not tasting wines and commenting on everything he reads, sees and hears? He gets a company only in the evening when the guys start coming back home. 

Day Guardian lazily turns the page and starts a new chapter when the intercom connected to the main gate begins ringing. The leg stops in the air and the lace hits a leather ankle of the boot one last time. Wonho’s eyes narrow immediately, tough gaze lays upon the flashing call indicator. They’re not expecting any guests and visits of the allied Clans are always discussed beforehand. The book gets placed on the beam, Guardian swiftly sits up and gets down in a light jump. He reaches a column in two steps and pushes the respond button. 

“Who and why?”

The answer muffled by the hissing wind sounds right away. 

“That’s Mingyu and Wonwoo, open the gate.”  
“Why did you come here without warning?” a familiar voice calms him down, but Wonho still remains on alert due to his “professional” habit.   
“Didn’t have time, it’s urgent.”

Wonwoo’s intonation cuts down the desire to argue and mock. He’s tensed, upset and angry at the same time. Taking into account that they showed up so suddenly something very extraordinary must’ve happened and Wonho doesn’t like it. There are enough problems in the Clans without it. Day Guardian circles the entire property to gather everyone for the unexpected Council. They realize that something’s wrong once he says they’re having guests. Ten minutes later they’re all sitting in the Council room. 

“Tell us what’s going on,” leader addresses the guests sitting to his right with somber faces.  
“Our man in the Citadel got some new information about what’s inside the labs with the highest security clearance and you’re not gonna like it,” Mingyu gives Minhyuk an unidentified look and his intestines twist because of the bad feeling. “There they keep Hwanungs, all that are still alive. There are three compartments: the Accommodation block, the Science block and the Technical block.”   
“But that’s good,” Kihyun moves forward. “No matter how secured this area is we will get Hwanungs out, it’s gonna be the second priority mission. Everyone thinks Hwanungs were killed during the experiments, but we’re gonna bring them back.” 

The representatives of the Carat Clan clench their jaws tightly, their eyes lowered. Wonwoo is the first to lift his head. 

“We don’t know if they remained… able-minded people.”  
“What?” Hyungwon’s eyebrows rise. “You mean the consequences of constant stress? If they’re still kept alive then their mental state isn’t that damaged otherwise they would be useless.”  
“The thing is that they’re useful not only “even” if they lost connections to reality, but rather “especially” if they did so,” Wonwoo throws a crinkly folder on the table. “The purpose of the first experiments was to find out the limits of their powers. They were tested for pain threshold, regeneration abilities, response to stimuli. We thought they had been checked up, tested and locked so there’d be no “defects” in a society or that they at least had been euthanized. But they have been tortured for years. The Science block employees work towards one and only goal – to be able to get Hwanungs’ powers out and reproduce them in other people.”

The wind outside has grown so strong it was throwing tiny pebbles to the windows. Faces of the men in the Council room are pale, eyebrows intensely furrowed. The guesses they’ve been denying are placed right in front of them. 

“But why?” Jooheon’s voice reminds of metal scraping. “Why do they want to produce Hwanungs that they’ve been literally shooting down like plague rats?”  
“One Hwanung is able to kill around ten people instantly maybe more,” Shownu who kept staring at the faded beige folder answers before Mingyu. “Think of a controlled army of such trained soldiers. What could you put against them? Nothing.”  
“You really can take this shit out somehow? Is there some kind of a gene mutation like in X-men and Hwanungs are mutants or something?” uncomprehending Changkyun throws his hands in the air.  
“They still haven’t figured it out,” Mingyu shakes his head. “Hwanungs sort of appeared out of nowhere. If records are true then there’s no pattern. The power can be found in children and elders, it could be one member of a family or a number of them. Ordinary people could give birth to a Hwanung-child however not all the children of Hwanung-parents would get their powers. All the physical indicators are fine and for now they’ve noticed only one single difference. Bioelectric activity has been detected in a small area of the brain very close to the left amygdala. Literally a tiny spot between the amygdala and the hippocampus.”  
“So there are abnormalities in the limbic system,” Hyungwon sits straight and fiddles with his long earring pondering. “Do you have EEG, PET and biopsy results?”   
“No, we only managed to get the general data.”  
“Listen, guys, I know y’all are smart as fuck braniacs, but can you give an explanation in a human language to all those who didn’t give two shits about college and stuff?” Wonho knocks on a table drawing attention to himself.   
“Roughly speaking, the limbic system is responsible for emotions and reactions. When a human gets a gun pressed to their head and their heart starts pounding, palms get sweaty, breathing gets heavier – that’s the work of the amygdala,” explains Hyungwon who seemingly livened up since he settled back into his old groove. “The left amygdala reacts to fear and anger and that’s why the bioelectrical activity arising almost in there is a very interesting fact. Fear and anger provoke the release of adrenaline. And what is adrenaline in a narrow sense?”  
“The release of energy into…” Kihyun stops halfway through and freezes for a second catching the flashed thought. “The energy.”  
“In stressful situations people lose control. However in Hwanungs’ case they lose control over the material Energy,” says Mingyu. “We don’t know whether it’s a mutation or something else and we also don’t know what has provoked it.”   
“You can discuss medicine, mysteries and other shit later,” Wonwoo interrupts a new wave of conversations. “That’s not it, there’s something worse.”   
“There’s something worse than multi-year experiments?”  
“The Technical block,” it’s raining so hard the world outside the window is completely blurred. “There a group of Hwanungs is kept alternately. They get connected to the machines and scientists stimulate the Energy outflow that gets converted to the electricity powering the entire Zone. And since the Energy is supplied by stress they create such conditions. Hwanungs get tased, burnt by heated metal sticks, injected with adrenaline. And it lasts for six hours until the other group replaces them. They just got turned into alive batteries.” 

When the thunderclap that sounds like a piano thrown down the stairs strikes right above the roof nobody even moves a muscle. They used to imagine a lot of things. Thought about their families, friends and acquaintances that didn’t manage to run away and vanished beyond the Citadel walls forever. The thought of them being shot down due to their “uselessness” or being injected with a lethal dosage after they outlived their interest revoked rage and pain. But them being used for ages as things, as machines, as generators made out of flesh was far beyond human perception. Electronics that they use function on Hwanungs’ lives. The light that’s on in the room now is supported by someone’s body impulses. Shock and horror on minds of those who killed a fair amount of people themselves make their insides go numb. 

“That’s…” croaks Jooheon after a long pause. “That’s…”   
“Fucked up,” finishes Changkyun rubbing his forehead. “That’s so fucking fucked up.”

No one disagrees. Maybe Minhyuk who didn’t even hear him – that’s how hard the blood in his temples is pumping. His heart is beating so fast his hands start shaking. His throat is petrified, lungs burn from the lack of air. 

“What’s even the point of all of that?” asks Kihyun.   
“The Energy conversion takes less resources than electricity production. As always – money.”  
“But Hwanungs aren’t immortal. It’s impossible to live in such conditions.”  
“They are pumped up with everything required to keep them alive. That’s why I said I’m not sure if they’re still functioning humans. Maybe they’ve lost their minds long time ago,” Wonwoo unconsciously rotates the ring on his finger with a vicious strength. “Judging from what we’ve found out they’re running out of human resources and there are no successful attempts of taking the power out. We suspect that they’re at least trying to succeed in extending the Hwanungs stock so they won’t be left with nothing in the end.”  
“Hold on,” Wonho screws his face into a smile. “You mean the nonworking part of them is being _bred_ like cattle? They’re trying to _develop a breed_?”  
“In the Citadel map that we got there’s a separated area in the Accommodation block called “Selection”,” Mingyu’s voice is a little muffled as he couldn’t believe his own words. “So, in short, in botany and livestock they choose and mate individuals that have certain desirable traits in… yes, you’re right, in order to develop a better breed.”

Something inside Minhyuk explodes. He suddenly jumps to his feet, the chair falls down on a floor with a loud bang. Hwanung storms out of the room before anyone manages to react. The door hits the wall and squeaks pitifully. 

“Shit,” hisses Shownu getting up immediately and running after him.   
“He didn’t run after me though,” mumbles Changkyun in an attempt to defuse the situation a little, but nobody responds. 

Contrary to the expectations, steps are heard not from the stairs but from the living room. When Shownu runs into the arch he sees the lilies of the valley disappearing behind the front door that doesn’t close completely leaving a gap. The room is instantly filled with the sound of the rain drumming on the parquet, a little puddle forms underneath the door. Minhyuk obviously isn’t himself if he went outside during this heavy rain, but there’s no time to look for an umbrella. Leader doesn’t want to leave him alone in such a messed up state of mind. 

It literally takes two seconds for the gray fabric of the hoodie to get completely drenched and darken because of the moisture weight. Shownu squints trying to see through the distorted ripple of a water wall. Everything looks the same: dullness of the neglected lawn and dirty-green stripe of the forest merge into one stain. He puts a hand to his eyes to shield them from rain and only then notices a skinny figure next to the gate. Minhyuk’s huge white sweatshirt sticks to his body making him look even thinner, even more fragile. Shownu approaches him heavily stomping on a slimy grass mixed with mud and carefully turns him around holding his shoulders. Hwanung’s lips are trembling whether because of the cold or hysteria or both. 

“We didn’t deserve it,” his voice cracks on the first word and leader realizes he’s crying. “We didn’t do anything bad, we didn’t hurt anyone.”  
“I know,” Shownu puts back his fringe sticking to the forehead.   
“We didn’t ask for these powers. They treat us like animals, aliens, they try to disembowel us to pieces as if we’re not humans.”

Cold raindrops flow down his face mixing with tears. Minhyuk is crying in front of another person for the first time instead of locking up behind hundreds of doors. His chest is about to blow up because of the grievance, desperation and helplessness, the air circulates irregularly in arhythmical spasms, he has no strength to control himself. He doesn’t really realize where he is, completely drown in the tsunami of emotions that has broken down all the barriers. 

“Let’s go back inside,” Shownu pulls him to the concrete pathway, but Minhyuk doesn’t even notice it.   
“They killed my parents,” his eyes blindly stare ahead. “They cut them like pigs, tortured, humiliated and then bled the Energy out of them dry, to the very last atom and threw them away. Just like garbage.”

Leader understands that right now talking to him is useless. He won’t hear a word until he lets out everything that had piled up inside and took over his mind. Minhyuk is shaking so hard it seems like hasn’t Shownu held him he would’ve fallen down to the sodden soil. Croaky voice is jumping from the low tones to high, water’s dripping off his chin, unfocused gaze moves chaotically. They stand like that for some time getting lost in a blurry texture of the water flow until Minhyuk suddenly freezes. His fists clench. 

“I’ll kill them,” he whispers lifting up his head and looking straight into Shownu’s eyes with crazy rage. “I’ll kill them all, I’ll tear them into pieces! I’ll burn them! I’ll murder all of them!” 

Minhyuk is screaming and crying at the same time, losing the last string of the adequacy that was holding him back. He has put up for so long. He’s been putting up with the situation he was in his whole life. “Keep quiet and bear with it,” his granny would tell him till the day she died. “Don’t you dare lose control, don’t you dare tell anyone about yourself, you have to hide.” As if he was born with one and only purpose – to never be himself. A piece of new information and a pot of boiling water spills, it falls down and breaks the ground with its cast-iron bottom. Leader thinks that he hears the static of the Energy that hasn’t flown out and destroyed everything yet by a bare miracle and realizes that the situation might take a dangerous turn. 

Hwanung is waving his arms and kicking, yelling through the whimpers, yelling so desperately that Shownu’s insides are all twisted. But leader holds him tight and doesn’t let go. He grabs Minhyuk’s skinny wrists holding him in one place and trying to calm him down. Hwanung wriggles and starts coughing when a minute later his scream turns into whining, he gradually loses force. Movements become weaker, he stops breaking out. Then Shownu lets go of his hands and hugs the exhausted man holding him safely. Minhyuk hits him feebly a couple of times and then grabs his drenched hoodie, gathers the left pieces of the hysterical impulse and wails into his shoulder still bawling. 

The skin at the area of the scream is burning and pulsating, so much despair was put into this agonized strive. Minhyuk is sobbing quietly almost hanging in the tight hug and breathes abruptly. In his head there’s thick fog with dying sparkles, the back of his head hurts because of the high blood pressure. He doesn’t have the strength for anything at all and the perception of the reality comes back slowly. Eventually tears stop falling and his broken voice fades. 

“It’s all right,” feeling that Hwanung’s mind is pulling back together says Shownu calmly and reassuringly, pressing his cheek against Minhyuk’s temple. “It’s all right, I’m here. I’ve got you.” 

Above their heads, in the graphite sky the thunder rumbles in a manner of an old massive train, curved lightning flashes. The rain is furiously yet monotonously drumming on a metal fence, thin streams flow down the pathways into dug canals. Smells like wet earth and wood. When the chilly wind makes them shiver uncontrollably Shownu carefully pulls Minhyuk away, says “Let’s go home” and leads him to the house holding him by the shoulders. Countless strings of rainwater follow their steps on the parquet. Next to the stairs Shownu sees gloomy Kihyun who came out to check the situation and signals him with his chin to go back to the Council room. 

A dim lamp gets switched on in Minhyuk’s room. Knowing that he’s not in the best condition, Shownu himself takes out dry clothes from the wardrobe choosing the warmest hoodie and doesn’t let him be until he changes. Wet clothes fall down next to the desk in a sloppy pile. When Shownu is wiping lily of the valley hair with a towel Minhyuk who was sitting on a bed addresses him consciously for the first time. 

“Sorry about all this.”

Shownu puts the towel away, squats in front of him and takes his hands.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry for,” water drops fall down from leader’s hair onto the floor. “You don’t have to hold back in front of me. I accept the real you and real you only. I don’t need any other versions.”

Shownu kisses his hand and Minhyuk smiles weakly. Water drips down leader’s temples and cheeks, completely soaked clothes pull his body down not letting him warm up. Hwanung puts his towel on Shownu’s head. 

“Go get changed and finish the Council. I’m okay.”  
“You sure?”  
“Yes.”  
“Shall I come back later?”  
“If you want to.”

Leaving exhausted Minhyuk alone feels absolutely wrong, but Shownu has certain duties that he has to carry out and the responsibility doesn’t let him ignore them. He squeezes Hwanung’s hand and leaves turning the light off. Leader changes quickly before taking his place at the table again.

“How is he?” asks Jooheon when Shownu enters the room.  
“He’s having a rest,” leader gives a short answer not going into the details and then addresses the guests. “I apologize for that.”  
“It’s fine.”  
“Jeonghan’s reaction was much worse,” Wonwoo shrugs. “He threw a chair at the big mirror and destroyed the table with the Energy. Seungcheol told us to get the hell out of the dining room and stay away until he calmed him down. Honestly, it felt really uneasy, I’ve never seen him so… intimidating.”  
“Their reaction is understandable,” Hyungwon leans back on the chair and goes through papers from the folder. “Chronical traumatic experience in a form of constant fear of being exposed and caught couldn’t not influence them. Long lasting mental distress partially grew into neurotic which means the overexertion of psychophysiological abilities and the active defensive response sometimes of an egocentric type. It would’ve been worse if they had reacted in a calm manner. It would mean a defensive-avoidant motivation of behavior or an emotional burnout. But now they’ve vented and are back on track.”  
“Is it all written in your magic papers?”  
“No, those are my personal observations and conclusions that are proven by these papers which give me something new to think about,” Hyungwon taps his fingers on the folder. “There are transcripts of consultations and surveys. Hwanungs have a pronounced commitment to their species, a tendency to the commonality.”  
“Species?” a corner of Changkyun’s upper lip curves in contempt. “You sound just like those fucking dickhead-nerds from the Citadel. Oh yeah, right, you’re a nerd that seemed to be not a dickhead from the Citadel. Or did you suddenly decide to rush back and stop treating Hwanungs as people?”  
“Changkyun,” pulls him down Kihyun immediately.   
“I don’t retract my words, they cannot be denied,” responds Hyungwon unfazed. “Hwanungs are a different human species, I’d even say a master race. And they feel it. If you read their interviews you can see that the word “we” is everywhere. “We don’t have to”, “we’re just”, “we thought”. They are a minority and they feel the unity with each other, they instinctively group together. Their species is in danger and that’s why Hwanungs will overreact to any information about their kind, to any action directed towards their community.”  
“And why are you bullshitting this science crap all over the place?”  
“My point is that if we don’t look after them in the Citadel and if we don’t prepare them mentally beforehand they could get overflown by emotions, lose control and blow everything up along with us and themselves. When they see the condition of other Hwanungs their limbic system will give an enormous response that we have to be ready for.” 

The Council ended when thick darkness took over the world. The rain got weaker but it kept on going until morning. Members of the Clan X met a new day with tons of unsorted information in their heads. Despite soothing tapping on windows and on the roof nobody had a nice sleep. Night Guardian would go through the papers over and over again writing down conclusions and estimating possible damage made to the mental state of Hwanungs who had undergone through the experiments. Then he calculated potential patterns of Minhyuk and Jeonghan’s behavior during the upcoming battle. After all, the strategy development and psychological aspect are his responsibility. 

All the things they’d learned on the Council aren’t discussed openly, but in separate groups. In the office Kihyun and Shownu figure how to carry this new information to other Clans and which adjustments need to be made to the plan. When passing the shift and having breakfast Hyungwon talks to Wonho about the data he gathered. Changkyun and Jooheon curse their mouths out at the Citadel somewhat enjoying the fact that there’s a new reason for it. Only Minhyuk is left out from these conversations since this topic is rather sensitive for him. He almost came back to his normal self except his gaze is now thoughtful and a little sad. 

Three days after Shownu decides that something has to be done and also talking to Minhyuk about what he’s gonna morally encounter in the Citadel would be good and Shownu wants to do it himself. Denying that among all other people he’s the one Minhyuk will seriously listen to would be pointless. Instead of having another training leader asks him to have a walk outside the Lair not going far from it. They have to keep in mind safety measures. Hwanung’s face lightened when Shownu who once again started to spend most of his time either in the office or on trips with Kihyun stopped him before the field and took his hand so naturally as if this action was self-evident and common. Usually they keep a low profile outside the locked up room at least for the sake of so called subordination. 

Chilly humidity is still left in the air after rainy days. The soil is sturdy again, dried out yellow grass crunches beneath their feet. The strong aroma of multiple pine trees overpowers the smell of stagnant water in a canal full of rotten leaves. For some time the weather has obviously stabilized in order to give out the last bits of warmth in this year. An opportunity to get distracted and have a walk with Shownu cheered up Minhyuk who’s been struggling with nightmares. He always calms down next to his leader whether he wants it or not. It was impossible not to: Shownu’s moderate serenity gets passed to him automatically. 

Walking the concrete pathway they discuss what dishes they could ask Kihyun to cook for dinner. A simple conversation that creates coziness. Actually Minhyuk just wants to talk and talk and talk because he mostly kept silent past days. Shownu opens the gate and the forest wind greets them. The breath of freedom. Minhyuk can’t even remember when the last time he got out of the Lair was. Feels like it was almost a year ago and he realizes how much he needed it at least for a temporary change of the environment. Mind feels much brighter. 

However the peace doesn’t last long. They don’t even make three meters forward when they hear the sound of a rapidly approaching car. Shownu’s hand immediately moves to the belt where the gun was, but it stops once he sees Seungcheol through the windshield. The realization that something bad has happened comes in a fraction of a second because the tires of a car driving at enormous speed squeak loudly, the vehicle dangerously tilts to the side due to the abrupt stop and Seungcheol himself almost jumps out of it. 

“Seungcheol, what…”  
“They took him away,” the eyes of the Carat Clan leader are wild, face is pale, almost deadly white and hands that were probably gripping the wheel tightly are seemingly shaking.  
“What?”  
“They took Jeonghan away.”


	14. Chapter 14

Seeing things differently, from a completely unexpected angle is scary. It’s scary to get back to the house you used to live in and see a wasteland. It’s scary to see a once flourishing garden covered in dry weeds. It’s scary to see favorite books torn into pieces. It’s scary to see a cozy bakery where you would have a cup of tea every now and then burning down with a background of the lilac sunset. Minhyuk is scared to see usually confident and courageous Seungcheol exhaustingly leaning on the car and blankly looking ahead while talking about what happened. His slumped shoulders and hoarse voice evoke pity instead of fear and respect towards the powerful leader of the Clan. Right now Choi Seungcheol isn’t a leader. Choi Seungcheol is a little boat that got sucked into the vortex. 

“We’ll get Jeonghan back,” Shownu holds his shoulder tightly making him look up and pull himself together. “But we can’t do it now. Too dangerous.”  
“They’ll kill him,” Seungcheol is almost begging. “I need your help, I won’t be able to save him without you. I can’t lose him, Shownu. I can’t.”  
“I know that you’re going through a lot, but listen to me. If we break into the Citadel now we’ll all die. Your guys as well as mine will die for nothing. You think Jeonghan will be happy about it? In that case nobody will save him for sure, in that case the entire Zone will be controlled by the Citadel.”

Seungcheol grabs his hair with force and makes a continuous noise that sounds like a mix of howling and growling. He sobs and kicks the car in anger making a dent on it, covers his face with hands and stands like that for a while petrified. There’s a battle inside him, a violent fight. His heart is aching, suffocating, screaming and is rushing to take off to find and get back the one who lights the fire in him, the person who he’s ready to kill for. Seungcheol wants to hold him close, get back to the secured house and then burn to tiniest ashes all those who dared to lay a single finger on him. But his mind says that Shownu’s right. Without preparation it will be a straight and pointless road to death. They won’t even make it to the labs. None of the Clans will risk so much in order to save one person and it’s understandable. He himself is responsible for ten other people. Who would exchange dozens of warriors for the life of one? 

“I can’t just leave Jeonghan,” Seungcheol is like a tightrope walker who is stuck between two skyscrapers set on fire and can’t understand where to go: his gaze is crazily thrashing around, raven-like hair soars high with every blow of the wind, unzipped jacket hits his stomach with metal belts. “How am I supposed to eat in our house and sleep in our bedroom knowing that he’s being tortured like a fucking rat? What kind of a shithead am I supposed to be to let everything be and just wait for the day we attack the Citadel? Wait and hope he’s still alive.” 

Seungcheol promised he’d always be there for him. When prideful and rather rude Jeonghan opened up to him, confessed that he’s a Hwanung with a gaze of a beaten dog and was waiting for the judgment ready to take off running any second, Seungcheol realized he’d never let him be alone again. He was covering Jeonghan with his back when they decided to tell their Clan about everything not knowing what reaction they would get. Jeonghan responded to his loyalty with loyalty and has always been there during the toughest times. He stayed at his bed for days when Seungcheol got shot, he followed him hand by hand to dangerous negotiations, he stayed right behind his shoulder when Seungcheol pulled the trigger looking into the eyes of a traitor he had raised himself. Jeonghan has really been there for him all the time and now Seungcheol has to give up on him for the common good? 

“We can’t wait that long,” Minhyuk turns to Shownu and looks into his eyes with persistence. “We have to save him, he doesn’t deserve to be used like a damn generator.”  
“Right now it’s pointless to go there. We don’t have neither a complete layout nor weapons nor people. It’s a suicide.”  
“When?” Seungcheol’s voice literally cuts the air.   
“When what?”  
“When can we go there?” his pale tensed face reminds of porcelain that might shatter any moment. “I agree to wait, but I must know exactly for how long. Our Clan is always ready.” 

Despair and animal fear in Seungcheol have been replaced by fierce determination fueled by pain. He breaks himself from the inside, cracks every bone, stomps on every emotion in order to gather scattered drops of self-control and to put back the burden of being a leader onto his shoulders. If Jeonghan is hurting now then he’ll make it so that he himself will be hurting even more. 

“Seungcheol, such things cannot be prepared in a we…”  
“How long?”

Shownu feels two gazes filled with force on himself. The one is a request, the other is a demand. Of course Minhyuk is on his leader’s side, but his spiritual connection to another Hwanung urges him to rush to rescue. Shownu remains silent staring at Seungcheol who aged a few years in a couple of hours. The final decision depends on him and seemingly it’s not the first time then it shouldn’t be nerve-wrecking. However this time it’s about a huge number of lives including the lives of people he cares about. 

“Two months,” Shownu finally gives his verdict.  
“Too long,” Seungcheol and Minhyuk react almost simultaneously.   
“We had five months during which we were supposed to get all the required documents, weapons, gear, fabricate the cards and without all of that the attack is a priori failed. Seungcheol, you know perfectly well the policy of other Clans. Nobody will agree to rush into the fight so early and without fully fledged preparations, I’m not even sure that at least half of them will agree to two months. With all the sympathy to both of you I won’t send my guys to certain death and I won’t let you do it,” Shownu holds an eloquent pause. “Even if I have to lock you up in the basement until you get back to your senses and start thinking straight.” 

When it’s not only your life that you are responsible for making decisions gets harder. If a person who has the power in their hands has conscience it makes them push personal feelings back and think objectively, see the picture in a wider scale from different positions at the same time. However Shownu still showed enough compassion when he cut the period by more than half. He’s not gonna risk it more: Jeonghan has to put up with whatever he’s going through and Seungcheol has to wait obediently. Personal tragedy isn’t the reason to ruin everything they’ve been building for years. Even though Seungcheol whose reddened eyes are shimmering unhealthily is now whiter than snow because of everything he has to deal with. In order to lead other people you have to think with your head but not heart, otherwise all plans will go downhill. 

“Okay,” after a long time the Carat leader’s voice sounds dry like old twigs cracking under the heavy boots. “Two months, not longer. I’ll arrange for the Clans gathering myself.”  
“But not sooner than in a week. We have to thoroughly think of what we’re gonna tell them and how we’re gonna convince them. You’ll have to tell them that Jeonghan is a Hwanung, there are no other arguments.”  
“Okay,” repeats Seungcheol as colorlessly. 

It’s so painful for Minhyuk to look at him that his stomach physically hurts. Seungcheol looks like a crumpled lamp with a paper lampshade that was thrown out the window. He’s died out, crooked, ripped, doesn’t resemble anything that makes sense. Seungcheol will definitely pull himself together when he comes to his senses, gathers the new strength and moves forward to a new goal since the motivation to get into the Citadel and clear it from the bottom up got absolutely enormous. But now his mind is inflamed and clouded. A human who’s been sleeping for many years got taken out from the shelter and put to the frontline. He’s now covering the coldblooded and calculating leader. Minhyuk is oppressed by his own helplessness, it makes him feel like a useless piece of trash. The only thing Minhyuk can do now is come to Seungcheol and encouragingly pat his forearm. 

“He’s gonna be all right. We’ll save Jeonghan no matter what.”

Seungcheol’s piercingly sad gaze makes chills go down his spine. Somewhere at the back of the memory a ghost of their first meeting and his warm smile flashes. A welcoming host is kindly shaking Minhyuk’s hand and gives him a little tour. Feels like it’s been years since that moment. He stares at Minhyuk for a long time, nods, but speaks to Shownu instead. 

“Don’t let them take him away too. Do whatever the fuck you want, but those motherfuckers won’t get any of us again.”  
“He’s safe,” says Shownu with confidence. 

They offer Seungcheol to give him a ride or to call someone of his Clan to take him home, but he refuses. Seungcheol looks very unstable, but persistently insists that he can get back to his territory himself without any problems. Leftovers of his shattered pride and desire to be alone don’t let him accept such humiliating, from his point of view, help. After a little argument they have nothing to do but give up, however Shownu makes him promise to send a message once he’s home. Last thing they need is Seungcheol to do something stupid out of anger and hurt himself. 

The car with a dent on its door rips the soil and disappears behind a corner. For a while they stare at the road in silence and then Minhyuk turns to Shownu with unconcealed reproach in his eyes. 

“Don’t start,” leader stops him with a wave of his hand. “I’ve had my say.”  
“If they kill him…”  
“If we attack without proper preparations they’ll kill us all,” Shownu interrupts him with unusual toughness. “Call me an insensitive asshole or whatever, but I’m not gonna risk everything for one person. Nobody will and Seungcheol understands it.”  
“And what if they had taken me away?” 

Minhyuk’s eyebrows are stubbornly furrowed, fists clenched. He looks at him with a challenge lowering his head a little. Had someone told him a couple of months earlier that he would talk to Shownu like that Hwanung would’ve called that person a lunatic. He’s too freaked out to control his temper. Even if Shownu’s surprised by such audacious provocation he still lets it slide. He looks into Hwanung’s eyes closely and quietly but strongly asks: 

“And would you want me to come for you in that situation?”

Minhyuk who was ready to answer right away moves his lower lip, but eventually words don’t come out. Because there are none. 

“Would you want me to bring two Clans and go die in front of you?” Shownu continues seriously, but with a sparkle of sadness in his gaze. “Sometimes you have to make hard decisions for the common good, Minhyuk. Even in spite of yourself. And if you turn off the impulsive emotions you’ll see that I’m right. You wouldn’t want me to come. And I wouldn’t want you to come for me. I don’t want other people to die for me.”

Leader points at the gate with his chin and closes it with a loud bang after they get back to the Clan’s territory. Crows that were digging through the stagnant canal water jump up with displease. Minhyuk goes ahead of him in fast strides, but suddenly turns around. His face is puzzled and tensed. 

“I can’t just deal with it and live like I know nothing about what’s going on.”  
“Don’t deal with it. Take it into account and think of it whenever things feel difficult. Think of what you are training for.”

When Minhyuk was working in delivery he once had to wait for the customer that got stuck in traffic. The house was placed in a district full of almost identical buildings. A semi first floor was meant for keeping some old stuff and long-term products and the entrance could be reached only after taking the stairs. The gate code was written on the order form so Minhyuk entered the yard, knocked and after long silence called the customer and agreed to wait. 

In order to kill time he started to look around and his eyes laid upon the window of the next house. There in a bright living room his peers were playing Jenga that Hwanung saw for the first time in his life. In the orphanage there were no games besides traditional ones like Yunnori, Gonggi and Gostop. Players were taking turns to remove a block from a tower and balance it on top. The more they deformed it the more dangerously it was shaking until it finally fell down scattering all around the floor. 

Minhyuk feels like his world: the world where he was drinking plum tea with his grandma in the backyard, was trying to get food at night in the orphanage, was rushing between endless part-time jobs; the world where he got to the Clan X, grabbed a gun, killed a man for the first time, told the truth about himself; the world where he was kissing Shownu in the office while sitting on a desk, where Wonho always lays on his beam, where Changkyun swears after every two words, where Jooheon is busy in the workshop, where Kihyun talks about the Law, where Hyungwon sleeps under the roof; the world where another Hwanung taught him to control his power, where in the Carats’ lair they’re growing plants and have one topic that is never brought up, - his entire world is Jenga. And someone keeps on pulling out the blocks, throwing them away, hiding and Minhyuk has to feverishly stick in whatever things he can find to prevent it from falling down. So it stands all crooked and hideously skewed, shaking, falling apart right in front of his eyes, but there’s nothing left to reinforce it anymore. No matter what you put in it this tower won’t become more stable and steady. In the end it will just fall on top of him and scatter everywhere. 

Another unhappy news was met in the Clan differently. Some of them suggested that they attack the Citadel even sooner, some thought that the preparation time was shrank too much. However Shownu’s arguments were enough to calm them down more or less and let them go back to their business. There were no fights, no large-scale thinking, it was much easier to just agree with their leader right away and try to distance themselves from overwhelming bile and frustration, kick it to the far corners of their minds.

Minhyuk realizes that the nerves gradually get heated and spark in all of them. When he just got to the Clan there were much more smiles around. Yes, they were going on dangerous missions, were planning the attacks, were risking, but back then they had a certain algorithm of life where even the problems they met were similar. New CCTVs were installed, important roads got blocked off, informants miscounted the number of enemies, a box with weapons got cracked during transportation. Those were their “domestic” little things. What has been happening last few months is completely out of their normal framework of usualness. 

Sometimes at night in the darkness of the kitchen Hwanung sees the back of Kihyun who is looking through the window with detachment. Smells like cleaning products and enormously strong almost pungent black tea. In Minhyuk’s eyes Kihyun has always been a stubborn and strictly committed to the Law person with firm character and an obsessive desire to monitor everyone, make sure that everything is working the way it’s supposed to work. Kihyun has been running around the Lair from man to man and has always been busy with something. Even though there’s still a wall of distancing between them Minhyuk would always feel safer knowing that Kihyun will for sure check literally every detail which means everything will go smoothly because he will definitely keep things in order and will have their backs in case something happens. But Kihyun is seemingly lessened of energy. He still walks all around the place, but kinda sluggishly without a big deal of an interest. He would stop midway and thoughtfully look somewhere beyond this realm more and more often. When someone screws up he now has two reactions: rage and screams or complete indifference. Whereas previously he would give them tedious lectures now he either lashes out or silently turns around and walks away. Looks like Kihyun is worn out. 

Not only Kihyun, but all of them has changed in one way or another it’s just that Minhyuk hasn’t spent much time with them to tell exactly what. The only thing he can say for sure is that the atmosphere in the house has sort of faded. He himself began swimming in anxious thoughts. Is Jeonghan still alive? Will the Clans agree to change the plan? Will they get another bad news? Will they make it without a big number of casualties? Will they get out from the Citadel together all seven of them? These questions are stuck in his head even when he’s training, they don’t let him concentrate. This week before the allied Clans gathering was a blur. 

Shownu left early in the morning leaving behind the aroma of coffee and menthol shampoo on Minhyuk’s pillow. Kihyun accompanied him as an official right hand and close aid. All Minhyuk’s requests to take him with them were strongly denied. “You’re not stepping outside the Lair anymore. Even with me”. It’s a shame and Minhyuk’s frustrated, he feels like a defenseless child locked up in the house, but there’s nothing he can do about it. Now, when the Hunters are aware that they haven’t caught all Hwanungs their surveillance and raids are very likely to be reinforced which means he’s constantly in danger. 

Time drags almost unbearably, it crawls forward so insignificantly as if a bunch of ants was pushing a carriage loaded with coal. Minhyuk didn’t bring his watch on purpose so he wouldn’t have a temptation to check it every minute and get disappointed, however the sky in front of his eyes barely changed since he went out to train. He couldn’t immerse himself in the process, his mind would jump from the Energy control to worries on its own will and Hwanung just wastes supplies that shower the ripped soil with ashes. Eventually he gives up. 

Jooheon’s workshop smells like chips ad nauseam. Changkyun opens one bag after another collecting them in a trashcan next to his feet. It’s probably because against a background of all this stress he’s got the uncontrollable urge to eat even between the official meals. Or maybe he’s eating because he’s bored. Since the restrictions on going to the city have been set he’s got nothing to do. He draws, practices melee with Wonho, sometimes goes to the shooting range and the rest of the time he hangs out with Jooheon while stuffing his mouth with junk food. Jooheon lost the ability to smell things long ago because he works with gunpowder, motor oil and chemicals around the clock so he has no issues with that. 

Minhyuk sits on a stool made especially for him a few months ago and rolls a bullet on the table with a blank expression. He barely listens to Changkyun talking about the shooting gallery he used to go with friends after school. Its owner would let them shoot an air pistol for extra money which helped him get the hang of shooting long before joining the Clan. Minhyuk stops paying attention to the theatrical bravado after first five sentences. His gaze focuses on the reflection of a crystal clear wiped workbench and his thoughts come back to the day Shownu almost got killed right in front of him. Lately he dives into the past quite often. If he hadn’t dared to use his power, if he had tried to shoot and missed then Shownu would’ve… 

“You ever tried it?” Changkyun turns to Minhyuk and waits for an answer, but once he notices his dull eyes he kicks him with a boot being displeased. “Hey ya White Head!”  
“Huh?”  
“Blah. Have you been astral projecting or fucking what?”   
“Just kinda zoned out,” Hwanung waves his hand and tries to put on an eager smile. “What was the question?”   
“I said my friends and I would throw dead pigeons on a road and watch them explode under the wheels. You never did that?” 

Minhyuk screws up his face in disgust, it literally sucks into the center around his nose, lips curled. 

“That’s disgusting, Changkyun. Why did you bully poor corpses?”  
“Cause the way they blow up is freaking hilarious,” he shrugs and glances at him with some kind of a contempt. “They’re fucking dead anyway what do they care?”  
“You gotta respect the dead even birds. That’s immoral.”  
“I think it’s fun we used to do that too,” pipes up Jooheon who was sketching something on leather.  
“You’re absolute assholes both of you,” Minhyuk shakes his head. “Can’t we discuss something normal?”  
“You’ve got quite a fucking supreme taste dontcha?” Changkyun snickers. “So what do you consider normal? Shall I tell you about art? Early Renaissance? Botticelli? Michelangelo?”  
“Can you?” 

Changkyun rolls up his eyes and smirks almost offended. He looks like a nobleman who got compared to a swineherd. 

“You think if I butcher motherfuckers I can’t tell Baroque style from Rococo?”  
“I don’t remember saying anything like that,” Minhyuk furrows his eyebrows in confusion. “I mean that if you really can tell us about something like those things then go ahead. It’s better than dead pigeons anyway.” 

Distrust in Changkyun’s eyes is replaced by surprise. First of all, they’ve never talked about art in this house. Second of all, Jooheon suddenly joins Minhyuk.

“I’d listen about this kind of stuff too.”  
“You? Holy fucking potatoes and since when have you become a cultural enlightening enthusiast?”  
“I’m fed up with chewing on the same shit all the time,” mechanic wipes sweat off his forehead. “When dad was alive he would turn on the TV show called “Art Points” every morning. The experts were talking about the history of painting, random facts of artists and sculptors’ lives, painting techniques. Sometimes it was pretty interesting to listen to at the background. Good memories.” 

Changkyun can’t figure out when was the moment something went wrong. He stays silent. His finger fumbles with the corner of another bag of chips while he’s estimating the situation and he finally opens his mouth. 

“Well, long time ago there were artists who used brown paint based on mummies’ remains.”

Despite his personality he starts talking rather hesitantly, but it’s only because it’s the first time in his life when something like that happens. Usually Changkyun talks about weapons, cool movies, cars, Kihyun's naggings and grumbling, “fucking Citadel”, plans for the future where the Zone is under their control. This is his shit, this is area he swims in, rolls in, lives in. He’s never been in a situation suited for talking about high-level topics, especially after he got kicked out from the art school. However the more he speaks digging into his mind archive the more excited and confident he becomes. After all, this topic resonates with one of his heart strings. He manages to spit out the textbook-volume amount of information in fifteen minutes. 

“Goddammit you’re not fucking listening to me again are you?”

Changkyun calls Minhyuk who’s been looking through the floor for the third time already. The level of irritation flies high and even the guilty eyes that cautiously shimmer under the lily of the valley fringe don’t help the situation. 

“Sorry I…”  
“Zoned the fuck out again,” chortles Changkyun through the clenched teeth.   
“He’ll be back soon,” Jooheon pats Hwanung’s knee cheeringly. “Shownu’s gonna be all right especially if Kihyun’s with him.”   
“It’s not that I’m worried,” Hwanung straightens his back and shrugs. “Haven’t slept enough that’s why I can’t focus.”  
“Yeah sure aha,” Changkyun snorts and opens a bag of chips. “If you think that you’re all freaking cryptic and mysterious like Mona fucking Lisa then you’re so fucking wrong ma dude. You’re as simple as my boot.”

Minhyuk purses his lips and turns away. Actually he didn’t want to bring up this topic which means spilling out his anxious thoughts on people who would get bored listening to it to say the least. Hwanung has always stuck to this kind of logic: when trash piles up inside your house you don’t go and throw it onto the neighbor’s lawn. You sort it yourself, throw it to the dumpster and forget about it once you close the front door. He came here to distract himself, to hang out with his friends, the workshop isn’t a psychotherapy office. In what psychotherapy office would you even find a chipped garage door? The atmosphere isn’t suitable for getting off your chest at all. 

“But what if the Clans refuse to change the schedule? Then what?” 

The words come out before he manages to process what’s happening and pull the emergency brake. Minhyuk almost jumps when turning back on his stool and inquiringly throwing his restless hands with fingers frozen due to anxiety in the air. 

“It’s like you don’t know Shownu. If he needs something he can talk anyone into doing anything. Changkyun, give me the scissors,” Jooheon extends his hand to grab the instrument while still talking to Hwanung. “The other leaders aren’t stupid and they’re not just complete dickheads. Shownu would never work with such people, morality is really important to him. First of all, they’ve personally known Jeonghan for a number of years, second of all, they realize that the Citadel bastards will come to at least one pretty simple conclusion – Jeonghan didn’t come from nowhere. He’s a part of something and this “something” needs to be eliminated. The more time they have for that the bigger the chance that at least one of the Clans will get under the hammer. Does anyone need that? Of course not.”   
“But nobody’s gonna like the risk that because of the short amount of time something might go wrong. They won’t risk so much because of one man’s mistake.”  
“Well if you think about it the risks evened out now,” says Changkyun. “The risk of screwing up during the mission and the risk of getting caught by the Citadel raids. It’s better to be the first to attack, fuck up and improvise than wait, get fucked real hard and set the others up.”  
“Maybe so, but…”

Minhyuk cuts himself off with a heavy sigh. He understands that their words make sense and that he can’t influence anything while sitting here anyway. These thoughts don’t make him feel better, his foot keeps nervously knocking on the concrete ground. All he could do is wait and waiting is known to be one of the worst kinds of torture. The more you wait the harder ties the knot of worry inside you making up an endless number of unpleasant possible scenarios. A wonderful ability of humans to stress themselves out not even moving a limb. 

Thinking that it would be too humiliating to keep bothering the guys with his blank pale face Minhyuk decided to move from the workshop to the empty kitchen. Cold wind makes him shiver. He enters the house and lifts his eyes out of habit. Wonho is in his place, at least something never changes in their abnormal rhythm of life. However this time he’s not alone. In front of him there’s Hyungwon sitting with his shoulders slumped, long legs swaying between beams like tree branches. Hwanung has never seen anyone besides Wonho going up there so he gets really surprised by this unfamiliar scene. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping before your shift?”  
“Can’t sleep,” Hyungwon shrugs. “I’ll wait for Kihyun to have some decent dinner.”  
“The bastard left us without grub,” despite the meaning Wonho says it without any malice but rather warmly. 

And Minhyuk suddenly understands everything. He was too busy digging inside his mind to notice it right away. He’s not the only one being on pins and needles. Usually Hyungwon can fall asleep anytime anywhere. His “I’ll wait for Kihyun to have some decent dinner” equals “I’ll wait for Kihyun to calm down because I can’t fall asleep like that”. Wonho sits without a book, but with two glasses of wine. Seems like they were talking about something in an attempt to get distracted just like Minhyuk. Changkyun can’t shut up talking about all sorts of things and Jooheon’s ready to listen to literally anything. Each of them deals with worry as they can and nobody wants to admit it. They’re all people in the end. 

The kitchen looks grey in a chalky light from a wide window. Grey and silent. There are no clocks in this part of the house, quiet voice are left somewhere in the corridor. Minhyuk pours himself a glass of water and sits down moving the chair with a squeaky sound. He loves the kitchen a lot. When they gather here for breakfast, lunch or dinner his heart feels like it’s been wrapped in a soft blanket. At the table they talk about grocery lists, weather, changes in the city, window insulation, new furniture, hedgehogs that wander into the Lair territory. Current concerns connected to missions and the Citadel are purposefully avoided being an unspoken taboo. They just want to have rest from them at least for these mere fifteen-twenty minutes. At these short moments Hwanung feels like he’s around his family that he’s never had. This is how he imagined it to be, how he imagined the coziness during lonely evenings in the orphanage or in his draughty flat. Maybe these human-like sittings help most of them keep going forward. These sittings are their stimulus to get out of any kind of a mess alive and come back home again to warmth and light. 

In a current situation the kitchen seems like a cold basement. Without light, without fuss, without voices, without people. As if they went off to fight with the Citadel and didn’t come back. Minhyuk tries not to think about the moment he will leave the house keeping in mind that it might be the last time he sees it. The last time he drinks cold refreshing water, washes a glass and puts it into the cupboard. Will he turn back one last time? Will he think of everything that happened here? Or will he find the strength to believe that they will come back home again? He doesn’t know. Now he’s not sure about anything. 

In solitude, without any distracting sounds and events the anxiety sucks him into the spatio-temporal abyss where he loses track of everything that surrounds him. He finally forgets about time that flies by like an arrow. Hwanung is sitting with a glass in his hand and only by some miracle doesn’t toss it off the table when he jumps to his feet after hearing the intercom ringing. In a fracture of a second the world revives, colors travel through the walls. 

Wonho and Hyungwon jump off the beams to open the gate, Minhyuk rushes to the front door, but braces himself at the last moment. It’s important not only to him, he has to learn to keep his emotions in check. Hwanung walks into the living room and freezes next to the sofa with tension. The first thing they hear after two minutes of complete silence are the voices of grumbling Changkyun and tired Kihyun. 

“We’re so fucking done waiting for you,” the door crashes into the wall. “Just say how it went goddammit.”  
“For the last time: everything will be revealed at the Council. We have rules and the Council is…”  
“Fuck your Council, it’s not the time for these fucking formalities at all. Shownu, you tell him!”

Leader who was the last one to enter the house moves his eyes over the entire Clan looking at him expectantly. He pauses at Minhyuk’s worried face and submissively exhales through the nose.

“We’re attacking the Citadel in two months.”

Even those who pretended they didn’t care can’t hide the relief. A chance to find Jeonghan alive has increased which at a minimum means that Seungcheol won’t storm towards the obvious death driven by emotions. 

“Did everyone agree?” asks Jooheon.  
“No,” Kihyun takes off his shoes and falls down on the sofa exhausted realizing that nobody’s gonna go to the Council room. “Some Clans were against that, but in the final round of voting the majority said yes so they had no choice.”  
“What did they say about Jeonghan being a Hwanung?” Minhyuk just couldn’t not ask this question.  
“They were surprised and didn’t believe us at first, but then figured out we had no point lying about it.”  
“Weren’t there any bad reactions?”  
“At the very first gathering it was clearly stated that if someone has anything against any category of people besides the Citadel workers and mercenaries who kill innocent civilians they are not welcome in the Alliance.”   
“How is Seungcheol?”  
“He’s holding on. It’s the only option he’s got.”

Questions coming one after another from all sides are answered purely by Kihyun whereas Shownu stands quietly at the entrance. He probably has drained out his one day stock of talking after heated debates at the gathering where he had to raise his voice a few times. When there are no questions left and the indicative plan for the next two weeks is explained the “Council” is considered over. Jooheon and Changkyun go back to the workshop, Wonho climbs up his beam, Hyungwon and Kihyun go to their rooms. Hyungwon needs to get some sleep before his shift and Kihyun just needs a break. When there’s no one at the stairs Minhyuk grabs Shownu’s wrist who’s been waiting for him. 

“I know it wasn’t easy, but you did the right think. You did great. Thank you.”

Shownu nods and leans forward giving him a grateful kiss on the temple. They all had a rather hard day, but now they can breathe out for a little before they have to dive into tough thoughts again. 

Crumbly first snow that feels more like starch confidently powdered frozen withered grass and trees that haven’t completely bolded yet and look like sprinkled muffins. The air is wintery cold and freezes the lungs. During a month that has passed the nature got very close to its temporary death. The Sun comes out seldom, but even if it does it only brings over the signs of the first serious frost, no warmth left. The wind is biting their skin piercing through the thick fabric of their jackets. 

The air in the forest is so fresh it feels like they applied pure menthol under their noses so it hits right through their brain to the back of head. They breathe lightly and freely, their minds kinda clear out from the layered troubles and worries. The farther they walk into the forest the more layers chip off. Clan X has decided to take a break from their military routine. Shownu claimed that constant immersion into the preparations decreases not only their concentration but also the workability. They all need at least one day of something different, something that won’t escalate the situation that is exhausting as it is. At least one day similar to the life of normal people. 

“We’re not gonna encounter a bear here, right?” asks Minhyuk cautiously when they jump off a hill into a pile of broken crunchy twigs.   
“I wouldn’t mind though,” Wonho rubs his palms together with a theatrical anticipation. “We’d be feeding on bear’s meat for a week, plus we’d get a fancy carpet for the living room.”  
“Sign me in,” Jooheon gives him a high-five. “Bear’s meat tastes like pork but is even fatter. If Kihyun cooks it right we will lick our plates like crazy.”   
“There are only wild boars here, not gonna happen,” Shownu shakes his head making them sigh with disappointment. 

There’s much more snow in the forest. Due to the temperature being a bit lower it didn’t have enough time to melt so it slightly creaks under their boots. When birds that are displeased by the appearance of sudden guests fly off little piles of snow fall down on men’s heads making them grin. 

Healing – that’s what Kihyun calls this unplanned walk. Maybe this is the last time they can remember that in this world besides never ending fights, hatred and weapons there is still the world itself that they fight for. After all, they have another difficult task – to not lose people in themselves while they’re killing ones and this task is much harder than it seems. A noble purpose shouldn’t be used as an excuse to all their actions. And stopping yourself, seeing the line takes enormous efforts. 

Trees gradually thin out opening the view on a textured white field in a shape of an uneven octagon. At the farthest side there’s a ramshackle piece of a wooden fence that has probably been standing there for half a century. Maybe people used to breed cattle there. 

“Holy fuck it’s so bright my eyes hurt,” Changkyun runs into the field the first and immediately squints forgetting that the semi-darkness of the trees highly contrasts with the light of an open space.   
“Language, Changkyun,” Kihyun clicks his tongue out of habit. 

Hyungwon blinks a couple times, looks around, kicks a pile of rotten leaves and slowly proceeds forward leaving distinct trails behind. He wants to say that he’s sure canola blooms here in spring, but instead of it he turns around with his mouth opened due to the outrage. A snowball with grass sticking out of it hit the back of his head. Wonho victoriously smiles crossing his arms on his chest, hands reddened because of cold. 

“I’ll smack the shit out of you.”

Hyungwon points at him threateningly and starts picking up the snow. Suddenly Changkyun outpaces him and hits Wonho right in the ear. The latter promises to make him eat soil. This is how a childish scuffle started by the Day Guardian begins. Shownu whose word wouldn’t be argued doesn’t even think about stopping them. Seems like the universe shifts places with the alternative one in a finger snap. The alternative universe where none of them has ever had a gun in their hands. Taking this opportunity, they scream, laugh and get so immersed into it that other thoughts smoothly slip out their minds. Even Kihyun can’t hold back a smile that is so uncommon for him. He watches them and easily dodges a snowball. At that moment his trained eyes notice movement in the trees. His smile wears out. So do the rest. 

They were so into the snow fight they didn’t notice that someone was missing. Minhyuk heavily walks on tossed snow with a dull expression. Seems like every step costs him tremendous efforts. Behind him there was a dozen heavy-set men in dark-brown uniforms, guns pointed at the Clan members. Minhyuk’s hands that are fixed in front are sealed in huge handcuffs that won’t let out even the tiniest drop of the Energy. One of the first inventions against Hwanungs. The one that was haunting them in nightmares. 

“What a pleasant meeting,” dryly says the man holding Minhyuk by the shoulder. “Looks like the Hwanung season has begun.”  
“Motherfuckers!” Wonho immediately draws out a pistol, but Shownu stops him with a wave of the hand.   
“Everybody stand still,” orders Shownu roughly.   
“Right, listen to your leader,” the man points at him with his chin. “He definitely does understand how this world works and so should you. Glad you didn’t let us down, Shownu.”  
“What?” 

The Clan X members immediately look at their leader so puzzled as if they were asked a hard math question. Faces frown, furrowed eyebrows curve. Minhyuk lifts up his head and meets his cold gaze. What he sees scares him more than Hunters. Calm Shownu doesn’t seem to be even a little bit worried. 

“No,” coughs out Jooheon. “You couldn’t… you’d never…”  
“As promised. A reward for the alive Hwanung,” a sack full of money flies to their feet falling down on a soil mixed with snow. “If you catch another one within a month we’ll raise the reward.”  
“What is he talking about?” finally croaks Minhyuk in a voice ringing of despair. “I don’t believe it. Shownu, it’s not true right? You couldn’t do this to me right?”  
“What’s going on?” Kihyun grabs Shownu by the jacket collar and turns round. “What have you got to do with this?” 

Leader remains silent not paying any attention to him and it pisses Kihyun off. The situation in which their lives hang by a thread and the Clan member got caught by Hunters is by no means suitable for keeping your mouth shut. He shakes him so hard that Shownu’s head jerks back.

“Answer me goddammit. The hell are you doing?”  
“What I have to do. This way we’ll be safe.”  
“Are you out of your mind? How could you stoop to treachery?”  
“I will do anything to protect the Clan.”  
“But you love him, don’t you?”

Shownu’s eyes without any interest lay upon pale Hwanung who’s barely standing on his feet and looking at him with sincere hope and plea. Who else can he rely on in such moment if not the closest person? The person he trusts more than he trusts himself. 

“How can we love cattle that we raise for slaughter?” 

An unconcealed taunt is heard in leader’s voice. The last pieces of strength leave Minhyuk who loses the tie to reality and literally goes limp in the arms that catch him harshly. As if someone hit his chest with a titanium hammer and then smashed his head with it splattering brains all over the ground. He’s got no will to resist anymore. What’s the point? For what? He really was sold like a pig that admires the one who feeds it and scratches its neck while thinking when the best time to slice its throat is. He exhales abruptly and chokes on his own whimper forgetting how to breathe. From his throat that got into spasm slides out something like muffled “But I trusted you…” 

“Then why didn’t you do it right away? What is all this theater for?” the way Kihyun hisses through his teeth sounds more like yelling.  
“Sooner or later the reward was supposed to rise up. It won’t get higher than it is now and we need money. I’m doing it for our Clan, mine and yours.” 

Kihyun doesn’t recognize the person in front of him. He wants to slap him, shake with all his might like a rag doll, cut it open and pull out his best friend he would die for without any hesitation, but his body doesn’t listen to him. Startled Kihyun recoils back on his petrified feet and looks at Shownu the way he would look at a sea monster that suddenly jumped right in front of his eyes. How could he miss these changes in him at let this all happen? 

“You’re fucking asshole,” the moment Kihyun steps back Changkyun rushes forward and kicks Shownu in the stomach with rage. 

Leader bends down screwing up the face from pain, but reacts quickly. Grabbing Changkyun by the elbow he hits him in the ribs with the knee, throws him on the ground and points a gun at his head. 

“If someone doesn’t like something I’m not forcing anyone,” he roars fiercely peering at everyone from under furrowed eyebrows. “Get the hell out of here if you’re so soft and don’t understand what is threatening us all as long as he stays with us. You’ve got five seconds. After that I won’t hesitate to shoot for any disobedience.” 

Changkyun attempts to stand up and jump at him again, but a bullet that pierces the ground next to his thigh makes his legs go numb demonstrating that Shownu is dead serious about his intentions. His unusually harsh commanding voice stuns them and evokes an inexplicable animal fear. A conflict swirls inside twisting their organs just like a rope that coiled itself round the wheel. On one hand, Minhyuk is a part of the Clan, a part of the family and betraying family is unacceptable. On the other hand, Shownu is their leader who they own everything and who they are used to trust without thinking. How can they go against the leader? Who are they without him? Under the ferocious gaze their heads tuck into shoulders. To their dismay when five seconds pass by nobody makes a move. If at least one person had dared to riot the others would’ve followed. Solving problems without their leader has already turned out to be difficult. Fear and indecisiveness make them feel disgraced in front of themselves and Minhyuk in the first place. They cautiously exchange looks with each other. Meanwhile the Hunters got bored with their inner drama. 

“Now get lost. Hiding Hwanung is punishable by death, but since you’d proven yourselves to be useful venders we’ve decided to change these conditions for you. Go away until we change our minds, your quarrel is getting annoying.”

Kihyun clenches his fists. He really wants to take out the gun that’s literally burning his skin and shoot all these knuckleheads down and also give Shownu a nice brainwash by banging his head against the ground a few times. But an obvious numerical superiority makes him bring himself to bite on his pride. Everyone will die in this pointless shooting. Kihyun looks at devastated Minhyuk. Against all expectations on his face there are no tears, no signs of hysteria, no emotions, nothing. Only died out eyes and a trembling lower lip which scares even more. It seems like a switch was flipped that turned off a human inside him. Kihyun feels strong regret and aching resentment that he can’t deny. Because Hwanung has really become his brother. As if losing his family in the past wasn’t enough. 

“Let’s go,” commands Shownu abruptly, picks up the sack, turns around and heads for the car they had left at the road. They drove away from the Lair to the farther part of the forest on purpose. 

No choice left. Provoking Shownu in such mad state of mind is undesirable, they don’t know how he might react. A bullet doesn’t seem an empty threat anymore nor do the guns pointed at them, so they have nothing to do but obey. The Clan X members clench their jaws and follow their leader giving Minhyuk last shameful looks. Changkyun who actually has really become attached to him (which he will never admit) hesitates while getting back up and guiltily whispers “Sorry” before turning away from him once and for all. 

Hwanung watches Shownu’s figure in the trees until the very last moment.


	15. Chapter 15

Going back the same way they went down together without one member turns out to be harder than many things they’ve already been through in the past. Because back then they didn’t have a choice and now they just made a wrong one. The forest doesn’t feel refreshing and full of clear air anymore. The chill they inhale reminds of a freezing tomb. Cries of birds sound eerie, scratch their conscience with sharp blame as if judging them from above. Heavy steps are ominously loud. Stares mostly pointed at the ground lay upon their leader’s back with emerging hatred from time to time. Now, when they are not at gunpoint the freedom of their actions isn’t limited. Maybe the changes in their Clan aren’t finished yet. 

They reach the car in deadly silence. Shownu commands them to take their seats while he examines the sack contents standing at the roadside. Being separated from their leader that seems like a stranger they finally unfreeze. 

“We gotta do something,” says Wonho quietly staring at his back through the window.   
“Minhyuk didn’t deserve to be treated like that,” agrees Jooheon.  
“The only chance to save him is to intercept the convoy before it enters the city. Going farther means getting caught by CCTVs,” states Hyungwon from the backseat.  
“And what’s with Shownu? Have you thought about that, guys?” questions Kihyun.  
“We’ve got only one punishment for treachery,” Changkyun’s low voice sounds disturbingly furious. 

However who’s brave enough to put a bullet in a person who gave them a warm house, food and all conditions for decent living? The person who almost seemed the most saint among them. Meanwhile Shownu’s done examining. He throws the sack into the trunk and gets behind the wheel banging the door. The atmosphere is almost ringing out of tension. Jooheon sees Changkyun who’s sitting behind the driver’s seat slowly drawing out a gun, but then he stops not daring to make the next step. He breathes in and out trying to calm down his crazily beating heart and through the rearview mirror interlocks his eyes with Kihyun who’s sitting next to their leader. After some hesitation he slightly nods giving his permission. The moment Changkyun lifts up the gun Shownu suddenly starts talking. 

“Before you begin the vigilantism I’d like to apologize for what happened. Changkyun, sorry, but I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t want to hit you, but I had to. Thank you all for trusting me so much.”

During an ice-cold pause the gas pedal gets pressed into the floor and the car drives to the highway. Kihyun is the first one to regain the ability to speak. 

“Do you even understand what you’ve done? Your apologies don’t change shit.”  
“Yes I do and I would never agree to such thing, but Minhyuk managed to persuade me.”  
“The hell are you talking about?”

Kihyun filled with rage stops before starting the accusatory tirade. He notices that Shownu’s hands squeezing the wheel to the extent his skin gets covered in crimson dots shake so hard he can’t even conceal it. His face doesn’t seem indifferent and violent anymore. It’s so focused that the vein pops on his forehead. 

“It turned out that other Clans have Hwanungs as well. They started to disappear two weeks ago and, as we have learned, they get tracked by the energetic trail that’s left in the air for some time after the outflow. Minhyuk and I didn’t tell you anything because we didn’t want to spread the panic, but the situation got worse and we realized that we can’t wait any longer. Our plan was approved by the other leaders since the more we wait the more fighting forces we lose. The day after tomorrow we’re attacking the Citadel.”  
“What? Wait what the fuck?” the Clan X members who got completely confused in this web of emotions and events talk simultaneously almost jumping from their seats. “What do you mean the day after tomorrow? Nothing’s ready at all.”   
“We don’t have a complete layout of the building, we can’t just wander around there blindly.”  
“It’s impossible to get inside without ID cards.”  
“The algorithm of their transport routes isn’t finished.”  
“We have prepared everything,” Shownu shakes his head interrupting the stream of questions. “Cars and weapons are ready, the map and the IDs are about to come out, people are ready.”  
“Then what the fuck was that Minhyuk situation? Why did you hand him over to the Hunters?”  
“That was his idea,” seems like their leader doesn’t even blink. “Hansol and Jisoo have invented something like a multifunctional bug. Minhyuk has to throw it down around the labs and then they’ll be able to hack the system, get the complete layout and enter our data into the database to make us the IDs.”  
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Kihyun hits the dashboard. “Jesus Christ, Changkyun almost shot you!”

Suddenly a proud smile breaks through the wall of anxiety and flashes for a second on Shownu’s face. He looks at taken aback maknae in a mirror. 

“Good job, you really learned what I’d taught you. Betrayers don’t deserve to live,” the car drives to the road along the settlement and slows down a little. “Everything had to go naturally otherwise the Hunters would’ve become suspicious and the whole plan would’ve got screwed. We couldn’t let that happen.”  
“So everyone knew about it but us? Seungcheol, the Carats, the Clan of Six literally every Clan?” asks Wonho with an open outrage.   
“Yes.”  
“Well fucking great,” Changkyun throws hands in the air. “Looks like a completely fucked up prank. Maybe you guys should get into acting? You’ve played us like damn toddlers.”  
“And what if we attacked?” pipes up Hyungwon out of nowhere. “What if we attacked the Hunters? Or you? We could’ve just shot you down in the forest and then rush after the convoy to free Minhyuk.”  
“No,” Shownu responds with confidence not leaving even a hint of doubt. “I know you well. You are capable of estimating the danger well enough not to attack the Hunters and you are too attached to me to kill me right away. I never doubted you. At the very least, Seungcheol’s car is guarding the driveway.” 

The Clan X doesn’t know how to react. It was one of those moments when there are so many thoughts you can’t turn into words even one of them. Enormous relief is mixed with shock, confusion and overwhelming worry. Everything will be decided in two days. In two days they’ll either die or reach the goal they’ve been running towards for so long. Aren’t the last minutes before getting the desirable thing the scariest? On top of that a sudden loss among them keeps evoking unpleasant nervousness. 

“But wasn’t there another way to bug the Citadel?” Jooheon loses it when they approach the main gate. “We’ve got bribed people in there. We could’ve asked them to do it instead of risking Minhyuk like that.”

Shownu’s fingers soaked in cold sweat squeak against the leathered wheel. His jaws tense up holding back a heavy sigh that they all feel even without hearing. They are still angry for being set aside and are trying to calm down the messed up emotions that have been stagnant for years. That’s why only now do they really think of the current state of things and the situation not only them, but specifically Shownu is going through. 

“We can’t trust the Citadel people anymore, not when it comes to the attack. If there was another option I would’ve…” he stutters for the first time in many long years of confident and precise speech and at that moment the members understand how tough this decision was for him. “I didn’t want to do it, but I had to.”

A feeling of crooked deja vu leaves a painful stab on leader’s pierced soul. “Sometimes you have to make hard decisions for the common good. Even in spite of yourself,” a memory of his own words addressed to Minhyuk distinctly appears in front of his eyes. Shownu feels like a sick prophetic. 

After a proper Council with detailed discussion of the attack the rest of the day drowns in fuss and thorough check of the tiniest point of their pretty chaotic plan. An hour after they get back to the Lair they get a message from Seungcheol: “We’ve got the access,” – which causes relief along with another batch of worries. On one hand, Hwanung has got into the Citadel and successfully set the bug, on the other hand nobody knows what’s gonna be done to him. Two days isn’t a big amount of time, however for someone who’s being experimented on it might seem like eternity. 

It’s uncommonly quiet both inside and outside the house. Metallic rumbling of weapons being inspected are heard, quick footsteps sound around, things are carried with scuffling, but there are no conversations. Nobody discusses what happened and what’s coming until the very late evening when they gather in little groups. Realization of the possibility that the road of their lives is approaching the cliff leading into nowhere is scary from a human side even to those who balance on the edge every now and then. 

Thick darkness presses against the window trying to break in when Shownu’s sitting on the floor in Minhyuk’s room with his back against the bed. He’s holding a beanie that he gave him as a present. That day seems so far as if it’s been a decade when in reality it’s been less than six months. It was the first and the last time they tasted the life of ordinary people who know nothing about battles. That sweet taste was also bitter due to the fact that none of them was such and they could never become these people even if they wanted it more than anything. It’s just that the blood doesn’t wash off from hands. 

“I knew you were here,” sounds quietly in the cold air. 

Kihyun closes the door and sits on the floor next to him. He glances at the beanie in Shownu’s petrified fingers and understands that he really was right about his observations. He’s almost always right. Especially when it comes to Shownu who they’ve been working so close with that they learned everything about each other from A to Z. Kihyun doesn’t have anyone closer than him left anyway. 

“He’s gonna be all right. You know he’s stronger than he looks.”

No response. Shownu keeps staring at the wall ahead. A quiet irregular tapping starts coming from the window and Kihyun turns his head. Little snowflakes bump into the glass, the winter is at the doorway and demands attention. If it was a normal day they would’ve turned on the heating back in the day, but nobody cares. Kihyun suddenly remembers how many years ago during long winter evenings he would sit on the warm almost hot floor with his little brothers and sisters and watch Christmas movies. Sometimes they fell asleep like that lulled by the warmth coming from beneath. And in this house there are no holidays. Holidays are for those who believe in miracles and love self-deception. At least the first quality is absent in them for sure. 

“You know, sometimes I thought about quitting all of this bullshit, buying myself a little house in a remote village and pretending I don’t know shit about the Clans, the Citadel, Hwanungs in labs. I would go hunting and fishing and do crosswords. After Minhyuk’s arrival I started to think about it almost every day. I thought about taking him with me and cutting all the ties to this fucking Zone,” says Shownu trustfully, letting out his pressuring thoughts. “What a shitty leader I am, aren’t I? I always push forward the idea of overthrowing the power, of fighting, but I myself want to run away from all of that and crawl into a hole like a cowardly idiot.”  
“You’re not an idiot and especially not a coward,” responds Kihyun after a while. “That’s absolutely normal – wanting calmness, happiness. I guess we all think about something like that sometimes. About why it’s us who have to change the world and how simple would it be to live like everything’s just fine. We stay put because there’s nothing left for us to strive to except war. Maybe only Changkyun, he at least has hopes for his parents to be alive. And you’ve got yourself a significant other, you’ve got some desires maybe even dreams and that’s amazing. You wanna run away not due to the cowardice but due to the tiredness. You just want a normal life and nobody would blame you.”  
“I started to feel vulnerable because of that,” confesses Shownu. “It’s… so strange. I didn’t give two shits about myself and my future after defeating the Citadel, I had nothing to lose maybe just the Clan, but you can take care of yourselves without me. And then he came along. I want to protect him, give him all the best things, things that I stopped believing in myself. You remember him on his very first day? Scared to hell, trembling, closed off, shivering from every abrupt movement. But in the end he turned out to be braver than me, I was scared of even thinking about letting him go.”  
“But you still managed to let him go.” 

He did. After they had a big bust-up and said a lot of things they would never even think about in a normal state of mind. For a long time they were sitting in a burning silence. They didn’t part their ways but nor did they give up on their principles. Eventually, Minhyuk who regained self-control was the first to start talking. He was speaking for a long a time, slowly, clearly stating his every thought and speaking up his heart as it is not letting emotions run before mind. Then he approached Shownu, grabbed his hand and looked into his eyes as openly as possible, the glare of the lamp shimmering on his darkened irises. 

“Please, believe in me. I’m so tired of hiding behind everyone’s backs. There are no other adequate options. While we stall and wait for an opportunity, some opaque conditions, in the Citadel there are people dying in horrible pain, people that didn’t deserve any of that. We have to risk for everyone.”  
“Why out of all the people do we have to risk you? Why out of all the people do I have to risk the one I’m afraid of losing the most?”  
“Because everybody would ask themselves the same questions and keep pointing fingers at each other until it’s too late. Someone has to take this responsibility and I agree to be that person.”

Seems like they’ve switched places. Minhyuk is ready to fight and Shownu is brushing off every hint of risking. 

“Do you understand that you’re forcing me into purposefully throwing you into the middle of hell? How do you think am I supposed to react to it? Agree without a second thought and call it a day?”  
“If there’s something I understand then it’s the fact that you’re strong enough to do it. And I’m strong enough to wait for you. You think I’m not scared? You think I’m not scared that something might happen to you? Or to Changkyun? Or to Wonho? To anyone. I’m scared, but you yourself taught me to move forward despite the fear.”

Where did he get so much courage from? Shownu looks at his determined face. Beautiful and bellicose, with a little scar on his chin that he got during one of his trainings. Lily of the valley hair grew a little longer than usual and clings to his eyelashes. Minhyuk is right, absolutely and without exceptions. But it doesn’t make things easier. That part of Shownu he didn’t know existed half a year ago keeps resisting and fights with the leader devoted to his goal. 

“Why are you doing this to me?” Shownu presses his forehead against Minhyuk’s and they both close their eyes. “I won’t forgive myself if something happens to you. I don’t want them to hurt you. Victory at the cost of your life won’t give me any joy.”  
“I will be fine. I will hold on and do whatever they ask me to. Nothing will happen to me throughout two days,” assures Minhyuk in his raspy voice. “You’ll get me out and we’ll free other Hwanungs together. Just like we planned.” 

Shownu comes out of the memories and returns to the dark room with the cold floor. A lot of things has happened in his life, but making a choice has never been that hard. Now he really does understand Seungcheol – the mind and the heart are fighting so furiously that he’s getting sick. The ability to think straight not letting himself do something stupid has luckily gained back the reins of power. 

“Kihyun, you do realize that anything might happen right?” what was supposed to be a question sounds more like a statement.   
“You know me. Spit it out.”  
“If I get killed you have to take my place. Don’t let them get a taste of power and stoop to suppression of normal civilians. And take care of Minhyuk. I don’t want him to be left alone.”

Kihyun could easily start a banal “You’re not gonna die we’re all gonna make it” tirade, but the experience of losing his family was too vibrant to allow that. He had perfectly learned at least one lesson – death comes from where you don’t expect it to come and when you don’t expect it to come. He wants to believe that their Clan won’t lose anyone. If only his faith was enough to influence anything. Moreover Shownu didn’t say that with the purpose of getting moral support and weightless words for sure. 

“I’ll keep an eye on them. But you have to promise me something too.”  
“What is it?”  
“You’ll keep fighting and bring down the Government even if there’s none of us left. Even if Minhyuk dies. Because neither he nor me will forgive you that. All the sacrifices will be pointless if you let your emotions stop you.”  
“I promise,” says Shownu confidently and adds after a minute of silence. “Thank you, Kihyun. For everything.”

Kihyun wants to thank him for many things as well, but he understands that once he starts he won’t be able to stop. It is no exaggeration that leader has become at least one ray of light in his empty dirty basement. It would be dumb to compare who helped whom more, but Kihyun can’t stop thinking about it. 

Hadn’t Shownu found Kihyun he would’ve just found another person to create the Clan with or he would’ve become the second in command in the Carats Clan, they got along with Seungcheol right away. Whereas hadn’t Kihyun met Shownu he would’ve kept on existing miserably around the streets of Seoul. He would’ve become a lawyer in a shitty company and in a few years he would’ve hang himself in his office after a cup of coffee tasting like cigarette butts. On one dank day they met in a shabby bar and for the first time in several years Kihyun has felt the urge to do something, to change at least anything in a routine that had been eating him alive. With a muffled mutter of an old TV at the background Shownu gave him a tiny hope that Kihyun has been fondly cherishing to this day. 

A warm hand gratefully lays on Shownu’s knee and squeezes it. There’s no need to say it out loud, Kihyun sees in his eyes that he’s clearly understood. The ability to catch each other’s thoughts has developed during years of close cooperation. When you stay in a pile of shit together there are no other options. 

“Go to sleep, it’s been a tough day. You need to gather the strength.”

Loosely speaking: “Have rest while you still can”. Eat while you still can, smoke while you still can, shoot a bow while you still can, catch snowflakes with your fingers while you still can. Breathe while you still can. The possibility that they won’t have such opportunity anymore is too big to miss it out. The next 24 hours are gonna pass by so unfairly fast that none of them will have enough time to do at least half of what’s planned. Changkyun won’t finish a painting of a tropical forest, Wonho won’t finish a new book, Jooheon won’t finish a blueprint of an extension to the workshop, Hyungwon won’t finish his research project, Kihyun won’t finish sorting out the goods left in a storage room, Shownu won’t finish a bottle of pomegranate juice. However at the same time these 24 hours will pass so slow that each of them will remember their road full of various events from beginning to end. Regardless, each and every of them has something they cling to with all their might no matter which situation they are thrown into from the steep cliff.

When the slow-fast day that was consisted of thousands of little tasks comes to an end the darkened house freezes. The lights are turned off completely, the doors are locked, the voices went quiet. Hyungwon isn’t sitting in the living room on his shift – he was sent to get enough sleep. As if any of them believed they could fall asleep. The weather outside calmed down, only the wind would whistle in crevices sometimes. Where will they be in the next 24 hours? What will they be doing at this exact point of time? Will they do something at all? The desire to think positively and with dedication trips over distinct perception of reality. Their fates have already sat at the table and are ready to spin coins. Tails – life, heads – death. 

Thoughts that have been biting the Clan X members for the entire day become so loud and tangled their ears start ringing, the statics of a lost signal hiss. Eyes stare at the dirty white ceiling full of stains and cracks. Except for Changkyun. Changkyun is looking at the stormy sea, holding a family photo and whispers his parents good night. He hopes it’s not the last time, but still thinks of his rapidly written will on the desk. In it he asks for his paintings to be given away to anyone who finds them beautiful. He’ll be able to leave at least something good behind himself besides piles of corpses. 

Eyes of the men sitting at the table in the morning are glassy, insides twirled and petrified awaiting the inevitable. Wonho and Jooheon are chatting about the new SUV with its seats able to transform into one unified soft mattress. It’s not that anyone really is interested in this, but they just have to fill the silence with something. Even though Wonho looks rather relaxed his fingers run across the dagger on his belt every now and then. The table is full of various dishes. Steamy scrambled eggs with bacon, veggie pancakes, tuna kimpab, sausages fried in pepper paste and waffles with drizzled honey. Kihyun didn’t skimp on products, didn’t see any reason for that. 

“Thank you all for always believing in me,” says Shownu when plates are empty surprising everyone. “I’m happy to have brothers like you. We all have sacrificed something for this day, but I’m sure it wasn’t in vain. No matter how it’s gonna end I won’t regret choosing you even for a second. And sorry if I ever did something wrong.”  
“Don’t you fucking mention that, we fucked the shit out of your brain with all the shit we’ve messed up so we deserved everything,” Changkyun slaps his back.   
“Language,” Kihyun clicks his tongue and this little familiar action makes the men smile.   
“Let’s come back home together,” Hyungwon looks at them one by one and extends his hand to the middle of the table. “All seven of us.”  
“Sounds like a toast,” Wonho chuckles and puts his hand on top. “Let’s fuck them Citadel bitches up and get wasted like damn pigs.”  
“Sounds like a plan,” agrees Jooheon.

In the end, their hands form a small tower. A little moment of unity that calms them down a little and gives them some confidence. However leaving the house turns out to be difficult. They go through the door one by one in different time holding back the urge to look back. Shownu is the last to stay at the front door, the others are busy with packing stuff in the car. He peeks at the walls, ceiling, wooden panels, furniture. All of that was earned by working together. Their Lair isn’t a cozy penthouse with warm blankets, cups of cacao and comedies in the home cinema. Here they don’t discuss coupons for milk in a gigantic supermarket, lantern festival trips, outside garlands. But this is the place where they feel safe, where they can sleep sound, where there share information, support each other even though in rather specific ways. This is their home they’ve created themselves. And Shownu leaves it with heavy thoughts for the second time. Two days ago he and Minhyuk were the last to go out as well. Seeing Minhyuk walk through the door with a resolute despair on his face was much harder than he could’ve expected. The door shuts with a bang, the lock clicks. The house falls into a deep sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

Footsteps heavily echo from the walls bleached to the extent it almost hurts to look at them. Red dots of cameras watching everyone who appears in the transitional tunnel that connects the Science block with the Accommodation block flash. A poke in the back almost makes Minhyuk fall down when he freezes in front of the door with a sign saying “Selection”. They pass it by and turn into another corridor, but instead of white walls it’s full of metal doors. 

“Friendly advice, fresh meat,” while one of the guards is opening a huge lock the other one fixes suspicious Hwanung’s shirt and suddenly wraps it around his fist pulling Minhyuk up. “Stick your ass to the ground and stay still if you don’t want to get a dosage of sedatives that will turn you into a vegetable. Be a good boy and we’ll become the best of friends, got it?” 

The guard’s earthy face is so close he could see hundreds of little holes on it and take a perfect look at his nose shining due to the extensive amount of skin fat. The man’s eyes are prolonged, a little bit sunken and radiate no trust. He smells like sweat and mint gum that doesn’t help anything. 

“Yes, I got it,” Minhyuk wants to spit at his face with all his heart and turn him into a pile of ash, but he restrains and calms himself down thinking that he’ll get the chance soon.   
“Sweet,” the guard smirks, lets go of him, inserts a cylinder-looking key into the handcuffs which makes them split into two parts giving the ability to move hands freely and pushes him into the cell. “Welcome to the Citadel, freak.” 

Minhyuk spent last few hours in a lab where he was taken to right away. Once he saw a web of cables laying in between the floor and the wall he pretended to stumble and fell down throwing a tiny bug into their direction. He just hoped it would work otherwise their whole plan would be pointless. 

Fear makes his heart beat like crazy, he doesn’t know exactly what he could see in this building. Now he has no protection whatsoever – hands are captured by handcuffs that suppress any drop of the Energy. However fear was rapidly overthrown by burning hatred. The lab is covered in graphs with some formulas, photos of Hwanungs at the moment of power overflow and photos of cut up hands with marker notes. Shelves are full of huge folders that have names on their spines, in the middle of the room there’s a chair with fixators and retainers made out of the same materials as handcuffs. 

Minhyuk stubbornly remains silent ignoring the questions of people in scrubs he was handed over to. The guards were left at the door and the scientists sat him down and secured his limbs. Seeing that he’s not gonna cooperate a woman with a long ponytail smiles and puts on a mask. Her smile is soaked in pity that is usually given to chickens before cutting their heads off. She pities his ignorance and unwillingness to understand that it’s all for the greatest scientific good and he, just like an idiot he is, thinks that his life matters. 

Despite expectations nothing horrible happened, at least not as much as Minhyuk imagined. He didn’t get cut, didn’t get dissected, the Energy wasn’t drained out of him to the very last drop. They collected his blood samples inserting the needle without much care, stuck rather wet suction cups to his head, chest and arms and then wrote something down on their notepads while watching the monitors.

The most uncomfortable procedure was performed an hour later. His fixated wrists weren’t enough. They straightened his left hand fingers and put additional straps on them immobilizing the hand completely. Once Hwanung saw a long fat needle he knew it was gonna hurt and clenched his teeth tightly. Drawing the skin on the back of his hand taut the scientist swiftly punctured it inserting the needle into the appeared space almost to the wrist. Minhyuk felt like a burning match was going back and forth under his skin. His body tensed up, the right fist clenched, breath got stuck somewhere around his Adam’s apple, but he didn’t let himself make any sound. For some reason it seemed too humiliating, so he stubbornly endured the pain looking at the blood running down the armrest. 

Two hours passed by. The pain has dulled developing into hot pulsating line. Minhyuk’s back got stiff, shoulders ached. Finally the scientists that were sitting at their computers started moving. They took out the needle, put a band-aid and stuck a number of small detectors to his arm covering it from the wrist to the elbow. Another hour passed until they took away all the devices, handcuffed him and sent to the prison-like Accommodation block. 

A thick metal door closes behind Minhyuk with unpleasant rattle, a huge lock gets hung on it, footsteps disappear somewhere around the corner back in the hallway. He looks out a small barred window, but only sees an identical door of the opposite cell and blinding whiteness of the walls. Hwanung jiggles a handle just in case and understands that it’s impossible to get out of here on his own, not when he has the restrainer on. If he’ll still be in this cell in two days he’ll have nothing to do but patiently wait until one of the Clans gets him out and it wasn’t a part of his plan. Waiting is always the worst. 

A painful groan comes from the back. Minhyuk turns around and squints focusing on the environment outlines visible in semi-darkness. The cell is even smaller than his room in the Lair. On the right side of the entrance there’s a toilet covered in dark stains the origins of which he doesn’t want to know. The last things are creased mattresses by the farthest wall. On the mattress to his right there’s a man in dirty clothes laying with his back to him. He was the one making noises. Minhyuk makes a hesitant step to him, but then notices a person shrinking in the other corner and rushes to him immediately. 

“Jeonghan!” Minhyuk lifts him by shoulders noting how scrawny they are and how weakly the head jerked to the side. “Jeonghan, it’s me. Can you hear me?”

Dulled eyes move across Minhyuk’s face without any enthusiasm and look so lost as if he was peering through him, through the wall, through the matter. Fear that something irreversible has happened and they lost him uneasily hoots inside. Almost a minute passes until the first signs of recognition and coming back to reality appear. 

“Minhyuk?” he mutters in a croaky voice clearly doubting what he’s seeing and Minhyuk exhales with relief. “You… what are you… you’re here?”  
“Yeah, they’ve just brought me in. How are you? What did they do to you?”  
“I…” seems like it takes him lots of efforts to make his mind work. “Wait, why are you here?”

Suddenly Jeonghan moves abruptly and straightens his back when he finally begins processing the reality. Thin fingers tightly grab the shirt of Minhyuk who is taken aback by such unexpected flash of activity. Jeonghan’s eyes thrash around not being able to decide what they should focus on, grown hair falls on a pale face with hollow cheeks. 

“They’ve captured you as well goddammit, now we’re both stuck in this fucking hell. You should’ve run away, should’ve hidden so no one ever finds you, you can’t even imagine what they’re doing here!”

Jeonghan’s voice similar to rustling sand becomes hysterically ringing when he, carried by a wave of mad despair, digs his nails into Minhyuk’s shoulder. Minhyuk tries to sit him back to the wall to calm him down and bring him to his senses cutting off a puzzle-pated stream of emotions. 

“No, hold on, it’s not like that, listen to me,” Jeonghan was too absorbed into the flare of life that had been almost faded out for quite a time to manage to contain it and process what he’s being told, so a different way to get his attention is needed. “Seungcheol. I’ve got news from Seungcheol.”  
“Seungcheol?” the correct trigger makes Hwanung stop almost immediately, he freezes, eyes begin to shimmer in a light coming from the corridor. “Is Seungcheol okay? He’s not angry at me?”  
“No, of course he’s not. He misses you a lot and is really worried. Listen, I know you’re going through hard times and I’m very sorry, but I need you to brace yourself and hear me out carefully. This is important. Please, do it for Seungcheol.” 

Hearing the name that resonates with his soul Jeonghan restores his self-control bit after bit admitting that he really can’t perceive information adequately right now. The sense of reality gradually comes back, his mind clears out eagerly grabbing new details of his monotonous world, details that lead back home. He takes out a bottle of water from under the mattress, takes a few sips and sits with his back to the wall struggling to lift his body up. Concentrating and processing what’s going on is hard, but he tries to block the fog circulating in his head in order to maintain this fragile control. 

“Speak up.”  
“You sure no one’s listening to us?” Minhyuk glances at the man in the other corner.   
“He’s dead,” says Jeonghan dryly and, seeing bewilderment, explains. “When I just got here he was already like that, didn’t react to anything. He can’t hear, see or move. They bring him out and in on a stretcher. His mind has been destroyed long time ago.”

Seeing it with his own eyes is nuts. Minhyuk listens to weak breathing full of whistling sounds, looks at unnaturally placed body and thinks that he’d rather die “completely”, with his heart stopping and brain dying for good than laying like that, being a piece of meat soaked in chemicals that gets used from time to time. 

“What about cameras, bugs? The room isn’t equipped?”  
“They don’t give two shits about what we’re doing here. Who wants to observe helpless vegetables?”  
“Okay then listen.” 

Trying to keep his voice low so no guard could hear anything Minhyuk shortly tells about everything that happened after Jeonghan was captured and then explains their hastily made plan. He chooses the simplest words, uses short sentences and keeps a moderate pace knowing that the person in front of him has troubles digesting the information at this moment. Jeonghan listens attentively, doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t nod, doesn’t take his eyes off him. The opportunity to find out what’s happening behind the walls switched on a backup power giving him some strength. 

“So there are two days left,” he concludes when Minhyuk finishes. “Two days will last two weeks in this fucking shithole. But at least now I’ve got something to endure all this shit for. I can hold out for two days.”  
“They… they’ve connected you to that machine, haven’t they?” 

Jeonghan makes a weak sad chuckle. A lock of hair falls upon his eyes though he doesn’t even notice it. 

“I don’t wanna talk about it. I just hope there’s not enough time for it to happen to you.” 

Something squeaks inside badly. As if a bicycle was thrown down from a high cliff. Minhyuk remembers Jeonghan being a different man. Neat and tidy, wearing one of his favorite shirts with a band collar, back perfectly straight, chin up, radiating fearless arrogance. Handsome and dangerous, his sharp gaze watches the surroundings, peers at Minhyuk like at a clumsy puppy and he seems like he’s ready to draw out his gun any moment not losing a single second. People like him are hard to break, but he’s on the edge, one foot at a point of no return. His hands hidden in long stained sleeves are shaking, mind is wobbly, eyes almost faded out. 

“Is it true that Seungcheol’s fine?” Jeonghan whose thoughts keep clinging to one person pulls Minhyuk out of his own thinking swamp. “I know him well. He’s not as psychotic as me, but still flies off the handle by a single spark.”  
“He rushed over to us flying out of the car and was about to run after you with bare hands, but we managed to calm him down,” responds Minhyuk honestly thinking that there’s no point in lying. “Shownu said that if he didn’t pull himself together he would lock him up and not let out so he wouldn’t do something irrational. Said you wouldn’t approve it and would get angry.”   
“I would kill him for that.”  
“That’s what Shownu told him a few times. Reminded him that if he does something foolish he’d lose the entire Clan and only after that he came to his senses more or less. It’s just… Seungcheol has changed. When he realized he had to wait for a couple of months he kinda switched off. He was afraid you’d get killed before we arrive. Seokmin said he goes out his room only for Clans gatherings and he also started drinking just like when… well, you know.”  
“When he shot Chan down,” states Jeonghan with a cold resignation while staring at the concrete floor. “Seungcheol still blames himself for what happened. And now because of me he blames himself for another thing. Fuck, I’m such an idiot.”

Jeonghan buries fingers in his hair and shuts his eyes so tight yellow flares appear. If only he hadn’t lashed out back then he wouldn’t have got caught that stupidly. If he had thought with his mind, but not impulsiveness everything would’ve been okay. He wouldn’t have made Seungcheol worry so much, he wouldn’t have ended up in this hell that squeezes the life out of him. Jeonghan hates himself. 

“You didn’t think it would turn out the way it turned out and Seungcheol knows that. He doesn’t care how and what happened anymore, he just wants to get you back and that’s it. Both of you will come back home and forget about all of this, you’ll start the life you’ve always been dreaming of. Stop blaming yourself, you don’t deserve it,” Minhyuk sits next to him and slightly hugs him by shoulders ready to be pushed away due to the pride, but instead of that Jeonghan tiredly leans forward and quietly sobs to the collar of his shirt giving in. “We’ll get out of here. Everything’s gonna be all right.”

Around seven o’clock in the evening, according to Minhyuk’s calculations, echoing steps of heavy boots sound again in the corridor. Some stop in front of their cell, some die out farther. The lock clicks, door opens with an irritating squeak. Two guards in dark-blue uniforms that are obviously too tight for their shoulders step in lazily. On the left side of their belts there are batons and pistols with huge handles, Beretta 92, are on the right. “For those who got hands the size of a fucking frying pan,” once said Changkyun while lovingly caressing his Walther. 

Without saying a word the guards come forward and place trays in front of the mattresses. The taller one with dirt-like looking moustache approaches the man laying by the wall, takes out a big syringe filled with something orange and injects it into the vein that defenselessly sticks out under paper skin. The man groans with slimy gargling sounds coming from his throat, but doesn’t open his eyes. In the corner Minhyuk burns them through with a poisonous glare until they disappear behind the door. He was infuriated not even by the fact that they work for the Citadel, but because of how carelessly they behave feeling complete integrity. Those bastards know that people, ghosts of people to be precise, trapped in flesh sacks won’t be able to do anything to them even if they really wanted. In such condition they wouldn’t even hurt a toddler. But if a sane Hwanung gets freed from the handcuffs nothing but charred pieces would remain of all those guards. Anyone could be brave next to a lion on a titanium chain. 

Dry rice and a sour apple are stuck in his throat in a form of a disgusting ball. Minhyuk drinks water from a cardboard cup and puts it on a cardboard plate. And yet still they are afraid. These greedy people whether they wear ironed shirts saturated with flowery fragrance or scrubs with ID cards on pockets or military uniform they all are scared of Hwanungs unconsciously even when they are almost completely immobilized. Because they know what they’re doing. They know what fate they would meet if they get into Hwanung’s hands. 

The night was sleepless even though the day had been filled with exhausting anxiety. Minhyuk is laying on a musty mattress and listening to jaded moans. He thinks that hundreds kilometers away Shownu is very likely staring at the ceiling just like him. For some reason he is so sure about it that he sees this picture crystal clear. One hand is behind his head, the other one is placed on a regularly rising belly, glares of the moon imprinted on his inky eyes, tiny shadows of snowflakes swiftly passing by the window crawl around the floor and the walls. The house is quiet, warm except for the wind whistling in cracks, smells like wood and coffee from the first floor. His home around which he wants to pause the time. 

Minhyuk has often thought that if he’d got such power he would’ve used it. Instead of risking their lives, changing the system of government of the entire Zone, worrying that some of his people won’t come back from a mission he would’ve pause this whole freaking world and stayed in his secured little Universe. There in their two-story house with an attic extension it’s always safe, cozy, there’s no bad news, there are hedgehogs wandering around the backyard and food in the fridge never comes to an end. There every morning Changkyun complains that he got a too small portion of fried eggs and Hyungwon, “that scrawny asshole”, got the biggest red beans pancake. There Wonho lays on his beam swinging his leg and ignores Kihyun nagging him for another stolen bottle of wine. There in Jooheon’s workshop the three of them are arguing whether the murder in a movie they’d watched was legit and are planning to buy a pig to recreate this scene and test their theories. There Shownu and he are competing to see who can shoot the biggest amount of cans placed around the perimeter with their bows. There they sit in Minhyuk’s room when it’s raining outside, he reads a book out loud, Shownu’s head is on his lap, fingers run through coffee hair. There Shownu presses him into the mattress with his hot body, growls into his ear and Minhyuk is almost out of breath, he doesn’t remember his own name and feels like he’s burning harder than a paper factory set on fire. There Minhyuk sits on Shownu’s desk, swings one of his rings on his finger and listens to the sound of a writing pen that sometimes is overlapped with short stories from his life. There is Shownu. There is their home. There is their family that consists of seven people. And Minhyuk would be happy to get stuck in this space-time nook forever. 

A few hours later he loses his train of thought. Sleep doesn’t come, but his mind gets blurry, it crumbles just like sand leaking from a bucket with little holes. Minhyuk learns that morning has come when steps are heard from the corridor. Jeonghan who got woken up by the clicked lock gets up abruptly and clings to the wall peering at the guards with furious fear. 

“Don’t flip your shit, flower boy, you’re having a holiday today,” the man who brought Minhyuk in yesterday stands with hands on his hips in a businesslike manner. “The new albino rat will take your place, you ever heard of such creatures?” 

His words almost make Jeonghan even more scared. He looks at Minhyuk, dry wounded lips pursed, eyebrows furrowed worriedly. Minhyuk knows immediately where they’re gonna take him.

“I’ll be all right,” he quietly whispers to the elder trying to cheer him up with a short smile and gets up. 

Minhyuk isn’t trying to look brave, he just doesn’t really have a choice. Actually his heart beats crazily due to the fear, ice-cold palms are sweaty, throat hurts because he saw what tough Jeonghan has turned into and he understands that next few hours will be the worst hours of his life. But no matter how scared he is he’s not gonna humiliate himself in front of these pretentious assholes. He still has his pride left even if it’s not gonna last long. 

The guard gets him out of the cell and Minhyuk almost crashes into Juho – the member of the Clan Aurora who went missing two weeks ago. His facial features have always been rather sharp and he reminded Minhyuk of a bird-of-prey, but now his greyed skin and arrow-looking nose stand so much because of a sudden weight loss that he looks like a statue. Juho exhaustedly glances at him from under a tossed dirty fringe and his eyes widen up when he recognizes him. 

Minhyuk’s head quickly moves from side to side asking him to remain silent. He’s not sure if it could be harmful for any of them, but back on the Council the “I don’t know anyone I don’t say anything” strategy was chosen just in case. Luckily, the guards were too busy locking the cells and arranging the rows in the back. Minhyuk has about five seconds to transmit information and not draw unwanted attention. He stares at him intensely and mouths “Tomorrow” with his lips only as distinct as possible. At first Juho looks confused, but then when they’re given the command to start moving he pretends to peer at his feet and then lifts his head facing the endless corridor to give Minhyuk a cautious nod. Now Minhyuk is a little calmer. Another person is warned and he’s almost 100% sure all the Hwanungs he knows personally are alive even though he hasn’t seen the others yet. Maybe there’s someone else in this group? Minhyuk turns his head and tries to see familiar faces. Uneven row is long and he only takes a glance at a half of it before a slap to the back of his head makes him get back to his position. 

“First warning, fresh meat: look straight ahead if you don’t want to get a studded dog collar.”

The dry air settles inside his cheeks like a disgusting pellicle. There are no windows, only concrete-metal structures. On Minhyuk’s left there’s a grizzled man with a long unkempt beard and a girl obviously not older than fifteen years old. Their eyes are empty and watery. It reminds him of a fish market with those dead sea creatures laying on counters. Life in them is gradually fading away and if they fail tomorrow they all are gonna meet the same fate. Maybe they won’t be cut open, but rather just be disposed in a few years, just thrown into a huge furnace that smells like burnt hair. 

The corridor turns to the right and ends with a wide door made out of thick tempered glass. The guard uses a key card hanging on his neck and the door slides with a short electronic beeping. Semi-dark hallway ends with another checkpoint and then they enter a bright laboratory where people in long white scrubs are already waiting for them. And so are rows of chairs that look similar to the one Minhyuk has sat on, but these ones have massive hand-like devices with dozens of needles sticking out. 

Handcuffs are separated again. Minhyuk is seated on the chair, his ankles and wrists get fixated. His ice-cold petrified hands are put into the device, the same “iron hand” is put on top but this one is hollow. The rumbling of attachments and belts sounds more like a clicking of a revolver cylinder. He feels the sharp needles scratching his skin and does his best not to let his palm lay on them completely. The dry corridor air is replaced by a sudden humidity of the lab. His mouth gets full of saliva and Minhyuk swallows hardly. It feels like swallowing rocks would be easier than swallowing this pile of expectation of the unknown filled with fear. He looks around and stumbles upon Juho’s doomed gaze. Lips are blue, jaws clenched tightly. Juho sits like that for a while, not moving, not even blinking, but then points with his chin at the other side of the room. Minhyuk peers and chills caused by revulsion go down his spine. There were people laying not even sitting on chairs. Their eyes were either closed or just absolutely dull. Back in the forest when the fight was over Minhyuk saw corpses with these exact blank eyes. These people aren’t even chained to the chairs. They wouldn’t move even if they were laid down outside the Citadel walls. Life has left these bodies long time ago. 

It takes ten deafeningly quiet minutes to set all the Hwanungs. The guards leave making sure that there are no signs of a sudden activity burst. When the door behind them closes and people in scrubs vanish in a booth with controllers Minhyuk feels like his ribs shrink and are about to crack. The frightened heart is banging on his chest, throat starts itching. He looks at Juho trying to get any hint on what’s awaiting them, but the guy is sitting with his chin hidden in a shirt collar and eyes shut tightly. 

Calming himself down with the fact that usually waiting is always worse than the actual process doesn’t really work. Actually it doesn’t work at all. Minhyuk attempts to distract himself thinking of the way to disassemble a Glock. He imagines every detail, every groove, every sound. Push the magazine button, take it out. Pull the slide back and fixate it. Use a pinky to examine the chamber to ensure it is empty. “Even if you’re like dead sure there are no bullets left examine the chamber. You checked it once you check the chamber once again. How fucking stupid would it be to accidentally shoot someone who was standing next to you and minding their own business scratching their ass,” lectures Changkyun in his head while sluggishly sitting on a workbench. Bring take-down levers down then pull the top barrel assembly off. Pull the trigger to release the striker. Take the pistol by… 

Lights above flicker, loud buzz pipes up behind. Armrests start vibrating and before Minhyuk manages to realize anything the “iron gloves” on his hands clench. 

At a time of his tumultuous adolescence Minhyuk stole a bag of apples and was running away from that fruit shop’s owner. He stormed into the subway station, stumbled and fell down in the crowd. The man who was enthusiastically talking on the phone didn’t notice it and stepped on his hand with all his weight. It felt as if his skin and muscles were injected with crumbled iceberg, sharp and scorching. Now Minhyuk feels like both of his arms, from finger tips to shoulders, are that hand, but this time it’s being jumped on by a local rock group in spiked boots. Needles aren’t long enough to pierce through, but are enough for the tension caused by pain to cramp up his muscles making him arch forward abruptly and grit his teeth holding back the scream. Palms are burning. 

Muffled shrieks are all around. One could never ever get used to that. Minhyuk wants to whimper, but instead clenches teeth even tighter and holds his breath. A somewhat sweetish taste of blood irritates the tongue – he didn’t even notice that he bit his cheek. However the worst part begins after the switch clicks loudly and the indicators beneath the chairs turn on. 

Forcefully provoked Energy rises from the feet like thousands lightnings, goes through the organs, accumulates in the shoulders and with a threefold increased force storms into arms and then hands in a form of uncontrolled stream. Feels like the skin is falling apart, curling up, getting wrapped around a rusty nail, trying to rip off the flesh. Insides are melting, drowning in corrosive acid and bones are crumbling in a blender with hundreds of sharpest blades. Minhyuk opens eyes that are about to explode, sees a shining darkness and doesn’t notice that he is screaming, screaming so hard his body started shaking and the air gets stuck in his throat that is ready to burst. As if he’s being pulled apart into thinnest threads alive, prolonging the agony. 

Ten minutes later, maybe ten hours, maybe ten days (time in this room has collapsed and vanished) the indicators turn off. Minhyuk whose back was arched falls back down on the chair and breathes crazily sucking in the oxygen with whistling sounds and coughing. Spit runs down his chin mixing with blood that spurted from his nose. He can’t feel where his limbs start and end yet he can feel how madly each cell of his body hurts, how the world around swims in scarlet fog, how spasms constrict his throat. It seems to him that he’s crying and keeps howling quietly, but he’s not sure. He’s not even sure that his body hasn’t torn apart into tiny pieces and is still intact. He doesn’t have time to catch uneven breath and sense the reality – green indicators shine again. 

The skin gets pierced with a butcher hook, it spins, wraps around, flakes off millimeter by millimeter. Muscles are filled with molten metal. Life is being sucked out through his palms, life that is desperately clinging to the body. At least the next break is longer. Minhyuk can’t lift his head nor move, only his eyes slowly move across the room trying to blink off the blur and get the focus back. Judging by smudgy white spots the people come out the controller booth. In their hands there are tasers and huge syringes. They split and approach those whose chair scales are filled to less than a quarter. The Energy in those Hwanungs is almost gone. When the tasers spark Minhyuk closes his eyes. He doesn’t want to see it. Hot tears stream down his face leaving behind dry salty stripes. 

Distorted perception thinks that four rounds lasted an eternity. Sensations have changed. Perturbed Energy isn’t gushing out into all the directions trying to destroy the containment sheath. It dried up and barely flows through the palms being sucked by the device. The same efforts are needed to pull out a wisdom teeth with hooked roots – it resists with all its might since it’s not actually supposed to be taken out. Instead of scorching fire the body is filled with aching soreness. Indicators turn off, Minhyuk’s back weakly hits the hard chair. 

“Shownu…” quietly whimpers the hoarse voice interrupted by exhausted cry. “Please get me out of here. Shownu, please…” 

The next moment the indicators turn on again. 

Minhyuk wouldn’t be able to say how much time he spent in the generator room even if his life depended on it. When the iron gloves open he doesn’t feel any relief. There are no emotions, there’s no strength to feel them. He’s been drained out. The same way oranges are get squeezed to be thrown away into the bin afterwards. Eyes open with tremendous efforts, capture indistinct silhouettes and close again. The sound seems very distant as if it was coming from behind a dozen of walls. Another picture of the past pops up in his brain: Minhyuk is underwater and hears a muffled laughter of the boys who pushed him off the pier because he had won in the archery contest. They didn’t like him winning a new t-shirt to his collection of two old ones that were stretched almost to his knees level and were hanging on his scrawny shoulders like rags. 

He manages to open his eyes once again after a while. The woman with a long ponytail indifferently wipes his bloody palms with some solution and puts on the bandage. However Minhyuk doesn’t feel any touch. His body is like a deflated trampoline that drags him down into the abyss. A few minutes later hearing ability comes back. But he wishes it stayed muffled. Moans, grunts, cries, howls and whimpers resonate around him discordantly. Somewhere close the sound of uneven inhale pipes up and it takes Minhyuk quiet a time to realize that the sound belonged to him. 

Once the scientists are done with the check up the guards enter the room, but now there’s a crowd of them. They spread out and each of them stops by a certain chair. Stretchers are delivered to those who can’t function on their own anymore. Minhyuk gets that guard with dirt-looking moustache. He takes off the fixators and grabs Hwanung by the elbow jerking him up to his feet. Brain that has still been in shock isn’t able to process so much information at once. Instead of a complete video in front of Minhyuk’s eyes there are separate images flickering: the guard’s face, blinding ceiling, grey wall, someone’s white pant leg, dirty floor. He starts tumbling to the side not realizing in what part of the space he’s in, but a rough hand with a strong grip catches him. Minhyuk can’t understand how he manages to stand on his feet that he doesn’t even feel, but by some miracle he even walks teetering dangerously. 

Ears are buzzing so hard as if someone was crumbling newspapers inside. The whiteness of the corridor is too bright, it’s hurting his eyes, so Minhyuk keeps them shut. He feels like his neck was chained and his body is now being drugged along hot beach sand. Throat hurts, it’s covered in dryness of the dusty walls, he can swear that he hears its cracking. Reality is being perceived badly, he can’t say how long their way back has been so far. Somewhere between three minutes to three hours. 

Eventually the environment changes. Minhyuk hears the lock clicking and feels his elbow being released, but instead of a concrete floor he falls into warm arms. Hair falls on his face. 

“Come one, one more step and you will lay down, here, just a little bit forward,” Jeonghan’s raspy voice is uncommonly soft. “It’s over, no one’s gonna hurt you anymore. I’ll give you some water.”

Minhyuk doesn’t remember how he reached the mattress, but he remembers clearly how he grabbed the bottle the moment he felt a first drop on his aching tongue. Life begins coming back and so does the pain. Feels like his body has been stuffed with needles that are moving nonstop, cutting deeply into his flesh. Minhyuk doesn’t remember what pride is anymore. A cry comes out between his chapped lips when Jeonghan wipes away the blood on his face. 

“I wanna die,” he whispers hoarsely, tear streams down his cheek. “It’s… it’s unbearable…”  
“You can’t die,” Jeonghan wets the cloth, squeezes the blood and puts the cold fabric to his forehead. “Shownu’s waiting for you. Don’t you wanna see him?”

The thought of Shownu makes Minhyuk shut his eyes and suck in the air harder. He would sell his soul to the devil, to the Satan, to anyone to get back to Shownu and forget about everything that happened. Maybe he should’ve listened to him? Maybe he should’ve stayed and spent the last days with him? They would’ve found another way to get into the Citadel even if a little later. Then he wouldn’t have gone through hell. 

“If you hadn’t come up it would’ve been my turn today. Thank you,” rough fingers lay upon his aching hand with gratefulness and he feels a bit calmer. “We won’t go through that again. Nobody will get into those machines again. And even if we lose tomorrow I’ll rather shoot myself and other Hwanungs. Death is better than this.” 

Minhyuk entirely agrees. Ribs that once got broken in a dirty alley by some gang’s feet seem like an insignificant bruise now. If he was to choose between getting his ribs broken every day and one complete session in the generator room he would choose the first option without even thinking. Keeping sanity after a couple of such sessions is impossible. He blinks off the tears and looks at Jeonghan who was silently sitting next to him. How strong is his mind if he managed to hold out a month and a half here and not go crazy? 

Gradually tiny leftovers of strength leave his body. Minhyuk lays not changing the position he’s been placed in on a mattress even for a smallest centimeter. Bones, muscles and flesh itself are burning, blinking is painful, every inhale makes him shiver. Exhausted to the limit he somehow falls asleep with the accompaniment of his own whimpers, flying away from cruel reality at least for a while. 

The dream turns into delirium and fever that drags him into its dangerous embrace. Minhyuk is at home, at the little green backyard where he would always play with his dog until it died due to his stupidity. The world around him is strangely quiet. He doesn’t hear any birds, crickets, cars or an old TV in the house. But the air is drenched in his grandma’s perfume mixed with the scent of medications which fills him up with grief. As if grandma’s somewhere around again. As if she didn’t die long time ago. 

“Minhyuk-ah,” the voice calls him affectionately from behind and he turns around feeling cries piling up in his throat. “Minhyuk-ah, I’ve been looking all over for you.”  
“Grandma,” Hwanung stammers, his eyes get blurry. “Granny!”

He runs on the soft grass and hugs her grabbing the flowery dress. Now he’s a head taller. After all, it’s been more than ten years. Her voice pleasantly resonates inside, brings back the childish sense of safety when being next to an adult, but something is odd. Coldness. Grandma is terribly cold as if she’s been standing in the frost wearing this dress only. He pulls away and looks at her kind face with worry. 

“Granny, are you cold? Let’s go inside quickly, I’ll turn the heater on.”  
“Minhyuk-ah, you’re my little monster.”  
“What?” asks stunned Minhyuk curving his lips nervously.   
“You’re my little monster,” repeats grandma softly. “You’re my dearest little monster. Monsters should be killed, Minhyuk-ah, you know that right? Look, they’ve already come for you.” 

Grandma points at the side and Minhyuk sees that the fence is gone and there’s a huge snowy field instead. The Clan X is purposefully walking on the white soil with guns drawn at him. 

“What’s going on?” Hwanung squeezes grandma’s hand with fear and turns back to her seeing the same smiling face, however now it’s petrified and pale, it looks more like a mask made out of wax. “Grandma? Grandma!”

He shakes her trying to make her come to her senses, get the life back into her, but not even a single strand of hair moves on her wax head. Footsteps crumbling the snow sound closer. Minhyuk lifts his face still holding the dead body and whimpers in horror. 

“Shownu, please…” he whispers looking into indifferent eyes in the color of coffee above the gun pointed at his forehead. “You’re not gonna do that, right?”  
“How can we love cattle raised for slaughter?”

Familiar words shoot his heart before the bullet. Minhyuk suddenly wakes up jumping into sitting position and immediately wailing because of the pain storming in his hands like electrical discharge. What sounded like the gunshot back in the dream turns out to be the lock clicking in reality. The guards throw trays to their feet, give an injection to the man moaning beside the wall and leave banging the door. Minhyuk tries to even out his breath and brush off the nightmare that made his heart hysterically thrash around inside his chest bringing up the hidden fears. Jeonghan understandingly pats his shoulder. 

“I can’t sleep normally anymore as well. Drink some water, you’ll feel better.”

It seems like he will never feel better. Even though the pain has almost gone away not giving rest to his hands only, they keep burning from the inside. Minhyuk knows that back then on the field Shownu was saying scripted phrases. Every word was written and played out a day before that. But hearing them so loudly was still very uncomfortable and scary. As if a chance of Shownu really meaning it existed. More than anything, probably even more than Hunters Minhyuk was scared of being left alone. Grandma left him turning into a pile of ashes in the cold urn in a columbarium. Not to mention his parents, he doesn’t remember anything about them. There’s only Shownu without whom Minhyuk doesn’t see any reason to cling to this life. That’s why those horrible words can’t leave his head. 

The food doesn’t evoke any appetite. Minhyuk feels sick when he sees his bandaged hands. However he thinks that he’s gonna need strength tomorrow and it makes him step over himself and stuff his mouth with dry rice. He doesn’t feel the taste, but it’s probably for the best otherwise it’s highly likely that everything would’ve got back to the plate. Uneasy emptiness is humming inside, gloom comes at him in waves. He lays in such state next to the cold wall until night falls upon the Zone. 

“What are we gonna do with them?” pipes up Minhyuk’s croaky voice in semi-darkness after several hours of silence when he points his head at their cellmate implying all in such condition.   
“What we have to. End their suffering.”  
“You think they can’t be helped at all?”  
“We can somehow stabilize them physically, but their mind is impossible to recover. What’s the point of supporting useless bodies? They deserve peace.”  
“I won’t be able to kill an innocent person.”  
“No one’s forcing you. I can do it as well as many others. Not because we want to, but because we have to.”

Time passes by and Minhyuk still isn’t used to perceive taking lives so easily even if it’s for the best. If he remembers something from the ethic lectures in the orphanage then it’s the fact that life is inviolable. He believed in it even when another child who couldn’t take it anymore was taken out of a noose, even when he was passing by the dark alleys in where someone was getting beaten up with his head lowered. He will kill anyone who threatens his friends with no hesitation, he will tear into pieces anyone who has anything to do with Hwanung’s sufferings with pleasure, but he will never be able to hurt unarmed harmless people. He used to be one before and he remembers how it feels. 

“Were you disgusted when you killed someone for the first time?”  
“No. I felt free.”  
“Who was that?”  
“My father,” Jeonghan thoughtfully looks forward with his head leaned on the wall.   
“You… killed your own father?”  
“That asshole used to beat up my mom and literally forced her to hang herself. And then he tried to rape me. Sick bastard deserved much more than just a fireplace poker which I cracked his skull open with. He got off easy, that motherfucker. If it wasn’t for the detectors I would’ve blown him the fuck up.”  
“How old were you?”  
“Nine.”

Not a good life makes people take guns. That’s like provoking a dog and then getting surprised that it bites back. When you’re cornered there are two ways: let them beat you or dash forward and risk what would’ve been taken away from you anyway. Minhyuk thinks of the day he met the Clan for the first time. At first he was almost murdered by the drug lord mob and then he was one step away from death during the trial in the Lair. How many times was he threatened to be shot on missions? And now he’s here, in the Citadel, a few hours away from the final fight. Would he change his decision if he gets sent back to the past? Minhyuk could live a rather steady colorless life without weapons and murders, he would save enough money to buy a small cold room in the outskirts, maybe would find a girlfriend or a boyfriend and would quietly pass away due to the heart attack not knowing a thing about battles and politics. Every step towards him would make him shake, every detector would scare him away, he would be afraid of losing control and hearing the siren. But at least he would never be covered in someone’s blood and he would never enter the damn generator room. A not so bad stable life. Cowardly routine that he doesn’t need. No, if Minhyuk gets back in time he would do the same things. He’s fed up with hiding and dragging along a pile of garbage called “existence”. He’d rather get killed in action than die in indecisiveness. 

Their chat ended on that. Thoughts about what is to come pressure his chest making the sound of blood in his ears get louder and ribs rattle harder because of uneasy heart. Waiting is ticking inside his tensed diaphragm. For a long time Minhyuk lays on the side picking at the mattress stitches with his nail. He realizes that he’s not gonna fall asleep this way, turns to his back, closes his eyes and starts thinking of all the good moments that are left in his memory. Only this makes his mind black out letting him stay at the table in the warm kitchen that smells like sesame oil and where six familiar voices sound cozily.


	17. Chapter 17

The morning started quite not how they planned. It stormed into their cell that smells like sweat and damp with a horrifying rapidity. Heavy boot steps don’t pass by the door, but stop right in front of it and then the lock clicks. This goddamn lock always foreshadows something bad. Hwanungs immediately spring to their feet and cautiously watch the guards trying to understand what to get ready for. 

“Flower boy, get out.”  
“What?” Jeonghan’s eyes widen and his face turns pale in a matter of seconds, bandaged hands unconsciously hide in the sleeves. “It’s not our shift today, our cell was yesterday.”  
“You had a wonderful rest in your five star hotel yesterday. It’s time to work or you think you’re special?”

Jeonghan exhales abruptly through the nose and clenches his jaws. His hollow cheeks seems like huge ravines, chapped lips lose color, hair stick to the wet skin. Another round of hell when freedom is so close. He was planning to kill a bunch of local assholes personally, but he won’t even be able to stand without support after the generator room. If he doesn’t lose his mind of course, it’s always a winless lottery. A thought of rioting strikes his head. Maybe he can play for time until the attack begins? However riots in here always end the same way – you get knocked out by a baton and dragged to the generator room in unconscious state and that’s a one way ticket to madness. 

“I’ll go,” while Jeonghan’s thinking of a plan backing away to the wall Minhyuk comes forward surprising everyone.  
“The lad’s a masochist as I see,” one of the guards whistles with a smirk.  
“The fuck are you doing?” Jeonghan jerks him back by the elbow and looks at him with eyes opened so wide they’re almost falling out the sockets. “Have you lost your damn mind?”  
“You’ve been through enough,” he pulls his arm away and confidently comes to the guards with a strong statement. “He’s worn out and I’m still full of power. I’ll go instead of him today. You don’t care who to torture anyway, do you?”  
“I don’t need your protection, I won’t let you,” Jeonghan dashes forward with a sudden force, but he gets blocked by the chest and thrown at the mattress.  
“Shut up and stay still, flower boy,” the guard with dirt-looking moustache wags his finger at him “We like ambitious guys, let him enjoy it while he still can.” 

The elder Hwanung comes to his senses after hard landing and jumps back to his feet only when the door closes behind Minhyuk’s back. Jeonghan hits the door loudly with his palms forgetting about pain and faces the unwavering gaze between the window bars. 

“Why the fuck are you doing this?!”  
“I don’t want you to go through this hell once again, you have already suffered more than any of us,” he pauses. “And… thank you for everything.”  
“No, you stupid ass kiddo, no, I didn’t ask you for this!” Jeonghan hits the door again out of helplessness and anger realizing that he’s saying goodbye in advance just in case.  
“So romantic I think I’m gonna cry,” snickers the guard pushing Minhyuk into the corridor and hits the door with the fist from his side. “And now shut your goddamn mouth until I duct tape it.”  
“Fuck you,” freaked out Jeonghan gives him middle fingers and this time kicks the door with his foot. “I’ll fry your brain and shove it up your ass you fucking dickhead.”  
“Looks like someone wants a knuckle sandwich, freak,” the guard’s eyebrows furrow, voice radiates irritation that promises nothing good. 

The key goes back into the lock and it clicks. Jeonghan understands that even though he gained some strength throughout past few days he’s still weak for fighting. But he’s had enough of being a spineless piece of meat, he’s never been one after all. If there’s a chance to make a fuss and start a fight he’s not gonna miss it. Maybe he’ll even manage to snatch a Beretta and shoot someone’s brain out until the same happens to his own head. 

“Stand down!” booms a voice from the further side of the corridor raising the echo and the lock that was being taken out stops. “Damaging Hwanungs decreases the Energy concentration, idiot. You lay a finger on someone outside a dangerous situation – prepare your documents for transferring to the Office, you’ll be a stamps licking clerk till the day you die.”

For some time there’s tensed silence outside. One can hear the leaking tube in one of the cells. Then the lock clicks once again and hits the iron surface. 

“Yes, sir, my apologies.”

Despite ashamed voice the eyes in the window shine furiously. Wounded pride of the guard guarantees to turn into revenge when none of the superiors will be around. But Jeonghan couldn’t care less about the consequences, he knows that today is the last day of his imprisonment. 

“Good job, go lick your bosses’ anuses first and then come back here have a talk with me, dipshit.”  
“Yoon Jeonghan, you’re not getting food till the end of the week and you are to work every day,” instead of the previous guard a skinny long face of the block’s supervisor that shows no emotions whatsoever appears in front of the window.  
“I don’t give a fuck.”

Jeonghan demonstrates middle fingers to him as well, then turns around and sits down on a mattress catching his breath taken away by rage. He hasn’t had such strong emotions for a long time. People are crowding behind the door for a while. Figuring that there’s no other performances the supervisor steps back and Jeonghan hears him calmly but distinctly saying to the guards:

“Don’t let anyone come near him. Go inside only in threes.”

“Pissing your pants you sons of bitches,” chuckles Hwanung in his head proudly. “Don’t worry, you’ll get what you deserve later today”. Jeonghan unwraps dirty bandages soaked in blood from the inside. After getting here he felt disgusted looking at his hands. The skin turned crimson with violet stains and a hundred of non-healing wounds half of which was covered in dry crust, the other ones are always wet and have yellowish secretions. Fingers are swollen and never stop shaking, veins going down his wrists remind of dead worms. Jeonghan won’t be surprised if after a couple of Energy shots the skin will just fall off the flesh. It won’t stop him though. He will squeeze the Energy out of himself until it disappears completely even if his hands start melting and tearing apart. Or until he gets shot down. 

He thinks that Minhyuk’s action was an absolutely stupid heroic. Jeonghan doesn’t like being protected, his ego can’t take it, there’s always a trace of an unpaid debt left. To his shame, a little relief along with gratitude cautiously breathe out inside. The thought of the generator room makes him nauseous, twists his stomach. At the same time guilt scratches his chest. After all, Minhyuk is gonna suffer for him taking into account it’s been only one day since the last session. 

When the corridor is empty, Jeonghan accepts than he can’t change anything anymore and stands up to get ready. Washing up with toilet water is disgusting, but being a dirty pig is much worse. Hwanung has always stuck to cleanliness and tidiness at least before he got into the Citadel. Here the last bits of strength are usually used to crawl to the stained mattress. Jeonghan stopped caring about himself especially when his mind began to leave his exhausted body. However today is an exception. Some rest and hope for being saved gradually dig up that very Jeonghan who would never leave the house in a wrinkled shirt. 

Dirt flakes off his face, neck and arms. Some soap would be really nice, but he has to go with what’s available. Cold water freshens up his head greatly, chills caused by a sudden temperature change but not a threat as usual makes him feel alive. Wet hair sticks to the neck and it takes almost half an hour to dry it with a piece of fabric torn out from the mattress. Jeonghan gets dressed, laces up his sneakers tight and uses a ripped stripe of his pants leg as a hair-tie. He brushes hair back, fixates it so no strand could fall on his eyes and distract. Blood that got pumping through the veins feels so refreshing he decides to warm up and remind his body of how strong it once was. 

The Citadel teaches to be patient. Here time is like a thick gummy swamp. Jeonghan got used to blocking himself from reality and going outside the framework of such things as hours and minutes. He keeps restored calmness knowing perfectly that there’s nothing that can be done. But the silence of the corridor presses his brain, makes him get up and go back and forth around the small area of the cell in an attempt to sense at least any change of the situation. The attack is supposed to start at ten o’clock in the morning, that’s when the tracks usually arrive. Time passes and doubts start crawling up his head irritating him more and more. What if they had to change the date? What if they couldn’t take over the cars? What if they got caught on the ground level and they have already lost the last chance and the battle is over? His insides turned into stones because of the nerves. 

His own helplessness frustrates Jeonghan more than anything. Even if the Clans storm into this block, appear right behind the wall he won’t be able to do anything at all while the lock is hanging. Complete freedom will be achieved only when the restraining handcuffs will fall off his hands. The fate of a helpless viewer scares much more than wounds and death. 

Silence seriously starts driving him crazy. He hears noises that don’t exist. Jeonghan hears footsteps, strives to the door and after listening closely realizes that he just thought that he heard something when in reality he didn’t. It happens four, five, six times. Even the man that moans round the clock suddenly got quiet rarely inhaling the humid air with a whistle. When some strange noises start crumbling in his ears again Hwanung harshly slaps himself to get his shit together. However the noises get louder and closer. 

Fingers grab the window bars. Jeonghan stretches his neck and freezes intensely. These are definitely footsteps, moreover they don’t belong to the guards. They never try to sneak, the stomping of their heavy boots is heard from the very beginning of the main corridor. Footsteps stop for a moment and then the sound of suddenly crumpled clothing is heard followed by a hit to the wall. More than being heard it’s rather felt making the metal door vibrate. 

His spine goes numb out of excitement when long shadows spread across the floor in the corridor and steps sound almost right in front of the cell. If it turns out to be his imagination falling back into the reality will be too hard. 

“Jeonghan!” disheveled and uncommonly serious Soonyoung almost jumps when he turns his head and sees a familiar exhausted face in the window. “He’s here, he’s here!” 

Angry voices hiss at him asking to shut up and not give himself away, but they get overlapped by the stomping of the Carat Clan members who run to the door in a crowd stepping all over each other and not giving a damn about the safety measures anymore. They are no longer kids, but get so happy now as if they’ve found a pile of presents under the Christmas tree. After all, their souls didn’t dry out completely. 

“You’ve come,” Jeonghan breathes out crazily looking around familiar faces and not believing it.  
“Be quiet, some guards might be still around here somewhere,” pipes up from behind.  
“No, it’s clear farther in the corridor,” says Jeonghan yet he misses the last few letters when one person appears in his sight. 

People crowding the door get tossed to sides and literally dragged back by the collars. Some of them step back with consideration immediately and move to checking other cells. In the window, Seungcheol’s coal eyes burn brighter than any fire. 

“You’re alive,” leader’s voice resonates from the walls when he presses his forehead against the bars and tightly squeezes the trembling fingers of Hwanung whose world narrowed to one point in space in a fraction of a second. “God, you’re alive, I was afraid that…”  
“I know,” Jeonghan swallows hardly and shakes his head. “Please forgive me, I’m such an idiot, I acted like a fucking moron and screwed everyone especially you. I should’ve listened to you.”  
“It doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that you’re alive and we’re gonna get you out now.” 

Seungcheol who felt a tremendous relief straightens his shoulders firmly, his face lightens up, chin lifts up belligerently. He examines the lock and doesn’t even have time to give an order when keys are put into his hand. 

“You’ve got three minutes. You can have a proper talk when it’s all over,” Kihyun who searched the guard they knocked out earlier pats his shoulder and then addresses Jeonghan. “Welcome back.”

The lock clicks for the last time bringing freedom. Harsh fabric of a bulletproof vest scratches Hwanung’s cheek when he is pressed against the strong shoulders and hugs Seungcheol so tight his muscles ache. He almost lost the hope that he’d be able to do it again. Every night he was imagining their house, their guys and Seungcheol’s warmth. All the pain relegates to the background being replaced by joy and the feeling of coziness. Leader puts one hand on the back of his head and the other one on his back. When his hot whisper touches Jeonghan’s ear he realizes that his voice is shaking. For the first time in years that they know each other Seungcheol couldn’t help it. He carried the weight inside even when he killed Chan, but now he gave in and even though he didn’t let himself cry, but at least he let himself show human emotions. 

“Forgive me. I’m sorry I couldn’t come here earlier, I’m so sorry.”  
“It’s okay, you don’t need to apologize. It was my fault and the Clan is a number one priority. You did what you had to do.”

Jeonghan wasn’t angry at all. Maybe at first he had an egoistic desire to be saved, but later he realized that it would be a foolish death. If in order to save him Seungcheol has to lose his life then he’d rather rot in here on the old mattresses. Right now he doesn’t care at all about what happened. 

The smell of cigarettes and gunpowder pleasantly tingles his nose. At some point he just forgets where they are and why. The buzz outside the cell gets distorted and they are brought back to reality only by a tensed voice sounding from the door. 

“Have you seen Minhyuk?”

Shownu’s facial features that sharpened are shaded by the light squeezing through the doorway. Muscles immobile, eyes focused, jaws clenched. At first sight he seems calm, but after a couple of seconds it’s clear that his whole nature is oozing readiness to tear iron into pieces with bare hands and until he reaches his goal absolutely nothing can stop him. 

“He was staying with me in this cell,” Jeonghan’s eyes widen halfway through when he remembers how their day has started and then get filled with horror which makes him jerk forward. “They’ve taken him to the generator room, god fucking damn it, that idiot volunteered to go instead of me, we gotta get him out of there quick.”

Shownu’s clenched fists crack. He ran through all the cells while looking for Minhyuk and what he saw there infuriated him enormously. The thought of what’s being done to Minhyuk right now literally makes red veil appear in front of his eyes. 

“Aurora, you stay here to secure the block and release people, Carats, follow me.”

Shownu isn’t a general leader, at this very moment other two leaders are present and each rules his own Clan, but no one argued with the commanding tone. Leaving Jeonghan to get freed from the handcuffs he leads the group back into the long corridor in wide quick strides. 

Alert system was turned off, the ground floor has been successfully cleared, signs of panic aren’t present yet. Sooner or later the invasion will be detected and then a fuss will rise, the building will start moving like an anthill set on fire and the siege outside will become operational. The Clans has split into blocks and started the clearing. In the corridor there are corpses of those who they have already eliminated in their way to the Accommodation block so there’s no point in sneaking in this part of the building. 

The closer they get to the generator room the harder the blinding lamps flicker. Metal underneath their feet is vibrating which means that something powerful is working. Shownu moves rapidly and confidently rushed by the adrenaline. His mind is concentrated on his number one goal at maximum. 

“Do not lose control, you hear me?” urges Kihyun catching up with him. “Be careful. If you get shot down all of this will be pointless.” 

Leader nods silently. The heat inside gets stronger with every second filling his body up with strength and desire to let it out quicker. Make the assholes dwelling in this place pay for everything they’ve done. The Zone will be able to breathe easily and let go of the pain only when all of these bastards will die. 

They have to stop in front of the tempered glass door of the generator room. According to the map there’s a little corridor-like area behind and it ends with the last door before the entrance to the main part. 

“There are guards in there,” Seokmin who seems to be running in order to deliver information in time moves to the head of the row. “Jeonghan said there are three of them. Usually around twenty other men come later as well. We can’t say if they have already arrived or not.”  
“We can throw in a flash grenade. If shit goes messy then there are lots of them so we just start a bloodbath and keep shooting until it goes quiet,” suggest Hyungwon being the last of the Clan X members sent to this block.

Within those few seconds that the positions discussion takes, something that no one saw coming happens. The card gets pressed to the scanner and the door slides evoking surprise and then a wave of outrage and objections. The card was controlled by Shownu who obviously doesn’t want to waste time on talking about safety. He faces a kinda dark room and three pairs of confused eyes. 

“Who…”

The guard doesn’t have time to finish. A bullet smashes his head a little bit above the right eyebrow. The same happens to the second men with a one second delay. Shownu has a pistol in each of his hands, however the change of position gives the last guard a head start and a chance to strike back. And yet he only manages to take a half of his Beretta out – his temple gets pierced through by a clear shot of irritated Kihyun.

“What the fuck are you doing?” he pushes Shownu in the chest. “What would you do if there were twenty of them? I can’t cover you from a crowd and especially without a warning you damn psycho.”  
“We didn’t meet the group on the way here and walking the corridor without noticing dead bodies is impossible. I’m not gonna waste time on chitchatting.” 

Leader pulls back and heads towards the entrance to the generator room vigorously. Kihyun growls with irritation, displeased sighs come from behind. Their opinions being ignored begins to get on their nerves. Most of them prefer to stick to the discussion-step-discussion tactic rather than forward-forward. But for now they have to deal with Shownu’s mad pace and follow him. 

The second the last door gets opened all the complaints and worries are set aside for a few long seconds. The room full of chairs and inhumane screams stun even those who’ve been under bullets more than once. It makes their skin crawl, chills run down their spines. Murals of the nine Circles of Hell painted on the walls of the local church have suddenly got audio tracks. 

It takes Shownu enormous efforts not to run to the lily of the valley hair standing out at the background of dark walls right away. They don’t know how these devices work and without the operator’s help might damage Hwanungs or themselves. Shownu hops over thick cables and approaches the controller room kicking down the door. 

“Turn this shit off now,” pistols are pointed at faces of dumbstruck scientists who lose the ability to think for a moment. “I won’t repeat myself.”  
“You have no right to…”

A gunshot cuts off a pointless attempt to negotiate. Crimson goop with grey chunks smashes all over the wall and slides down to the dead man in what used to be white scrubs. 

“You’ve got one second.” 

The scientists shriek in shock and realize there’s no point in stalling. The woman with a long ponytail hastily lowers the lever and loud buzzing stops. 

“Get them out.”  
“I can open the gloves, but other fixators must be taken off manually,” her petrified fingers push some buttons and clicking sounds come from the main room. “Please, think it over, it’s for the sake of science…”

Meanwhile the man who was standing behind her keeps desperately pushing the alarm button unable to understand why it doesn’t work. Shownu notices it and burns him through with his eyes full of hatred. 

“Does it feel good to be helpless?” no response follows, only haunted gaze and Shownu continues. “Show me your hands. For the sake of science.” 

The scientist hesitates knowing no one’s gonna let him go just like that. Sweat falls down narrowed face disappearing in curly beard. The more he delays the inevitable the worse the consequences are gonna be. He extends out sweaty hands shaking out of animal fear and the moment he opens his mouth to beg for mercy two bullets pierce the knuckles of his middle fingers with a cracking sound. 

The woman twitches covering her face. The man starts yelling and falls down clutching hands to the stomach. Blood floods the floor. 

“Leave that bitch to me,” Kihyun who was silently watching stands in the doorway. “We’re gonna have a talk.”

Shownu puts the guns back after blowing off the steam and rushes out. He runs by wailing people, pushes his way through the comrades and takes off leather gloves as he goes. 

“Minhyuk,” as carefully as possible he lifts up the face screwed in pain holding his cheeks wet from tears. “Minhyuk, can you hear me?”

Instead of an answer there’s a heartbreaking groan that turns into a whimper and then into a cough. Shownu wipes the blood off his face, examines the chair and begins taking off the restraints. Iron gloves are the last and the most painful.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” he keeps saying while getting his hand off the needles and Minhyuk howls in anguish. “Just another one and it’s over.”

Palms covered with holes are bleeding, depowered arms sag. Shownu lifts up the exhausted body and carefully lays it on the floor placing the torso on his laps and pressing Minhyuk’s head against his chest. They have to move on quick until they get detected, but the Clan X leader lets himself be weak for a minute relishing the fact that Minhyuk is alive. However his condition rips his soul apart and evokes a sadistic desire to get back to the controller room and break every bone of the remained assholes one by one. 

“Here are the bandages,” Hyungwon approaches quietly, kneels down and starts wiping and wrapping the hands. “What should we do next?”  
“Ask her when the guards are arriving. We’ll meet them in the small corridor and then go up to the next level where the offices are. You are to stay here and look after Hwanungs, treat those who need it. And then…”  
“Shownu…” mumbles Minhyuk weakly probably reacting to the familiar voice. “Shownu…”  
“I’m here,” answers leader immediately lifting his face up again. “Minhyuk, I’m with you, you hear me? They won’t hurt you again.”

Minhyuk whimpers loudly wincing. He tries to open his eyes, but when he finally manages to do it after a number of attempts he only sees a dark spot getting more and more blurry at the background of lamps. He can’t focus neither his eyes nor mind. He’s underwater again, drowning and choking just like when he was pushed off the pier, but this time it feels like his skin has been ripped off completely. It’s not clear where his own limbs start and where they end. Everything hurts. Everything that exists in this world is drenched in pain up to the very last molecule. Shownu’s voice reaches him in pieces and Hwanungs clings to it, tries to hold it, but it always slips away. He surfaces for a few seconds and then gets dragged back into the deep suffocating water that makes his body burn and it happens over and over again. 

“Now… we gotta… and when… promise…” words torn out from a feverish stream glide over his mind becoming louder and then quieter in turns. “… come back to you.”

The last thing that Minhyuk remembers from rambling series is coldness under his back and gunshots muffled by a heavy blanket made out of delirium. 

The light scorches eyelids mercilessly drawing yellow circles directly on his pupils. Feels like his eyes are melting, humming, streaming down his temples. The skin liquefies, sticks to a huge frying pan and his brain is sizzling like a burnt steak which is almost black from one side. Minhyuk sucks the air in abruptly when his mind switches on as if someone pushed a button and chokes on his own hoarse breath. Coughing scratches his throat, ragged lips get covered in blood that dribbles down his chin. He breathes irregularly when he turns to the side with a painful moan. 

Bandages on his hands that hardened because of the half-dried blood stretch along with the skin sticking to them. Minhyuk puts his hand on the floor leaning on it, his other hand holds onto the iron chair in an attempt to get up. Nails scratch the surface, grabbing hard belts. The body immediately responds with a searing wave that makes his elbows wobble and he almost falls back on the floor with his face. After a while he manages to sit up against his muffled screams and sensations that feel like bones being crashed, but if he loses the support behind his back he will collapse. Minhyuk has to give himself time to catch his breath which disappeared so severely as if he ran up the stairs of a dozen floors. 

Mind is still pretty cloudy, he doesn’t really understand where he is. Movements are controlled by the instinct to get up, but not the adequate perception of reality. Eyes slide around the room and see rows of chairs between which there were bodies lying in unnaturally curved positions. The generator room. Too quiet. Too dead. 

“Shownu!” a sudden flash of memories makes his body jerk up and Minhyuk shrieks coming to his senses quickly due to an emotional reaction. “Shownu’s here.”

Words flicker inside his brain. Hwanung tries to brush off the fog and remember what happened, but all he recalls is static. The only thing he is sure about now is that the attack has started. He can’t say how long it has been going even roughly. Minhyuk feels the tide of panic and adrenaline. Where did Shownu go? Where is everyone? At this moment he remembers about the bodies on the floor. 

“Get up,” he commands to himself forcing his body to rely on his knees. “Get up, they need help. There’s no time to rest you piece of shit. Get up!” 

The yell is whistling, but at the same time it is strong enough to clear out his mind a little more. Gritting his teeth, Minhyuk tightly holds onto the chair ignoring his agonizing muscles, shifts from kneeling to squatting and then stands up through the muted yelping forcing his legs to straighten. He pants and then straightens his back as well. He’s staggering and staggering hard, but he’s at least on his feet. The world around him is spinning, cracking, blinding with flares, trying to knock him back down. Knees are shaking in unison with vertebrae. 

“Holy fuck.”

Minhyuk seldom swears, basically doesn’t swear at all. This time the words slipped off his lips, because what he saw made him feel shock mixed with horror. He saw such scenes only in nightmares. The spine starts shaking harder, burning insides shrink into a gross stiff lump. On the floor there are Hwanungs he was brought in here together with this morning. Their eyes stare ahead blankly, their clothes are all soaked in blood. Some of them remained in the chairs – red drops stream down the iron sheets. The air smells like sweet metal. 

Minhyuk can’t hold back the gagging, he vomits into a puddle of blood flowing out of a Hwanung on the left. His trembling hand wipes his mouth with a dirty sleeve, he closes his eyes and summons up the courage. He prays that there are no familiar faces among these bodies. Looks like all his luck was used for him to be left unnoticed thinking that he was already dead because of the nose blood that covered his whole face. 

Minhyuk lets go of the back of the chair and walks slowly putting all the efforts into standing on his feet. Carefully stepping over corpses and waving his arms ridiculously in order to keep the balance he closely peers at everyone, his heart banging on his ribs. Step, another one and another one. Walking is difficult and painful, but the adrenaline does its job pretty well. His stride balances out fueled by the reluctance to step on someone’s limbs or hair. When the face of the last person with a frozen grimace of death turns out to be unfamiliar he unevenly exhales in relief. Lower lip starts trembling. So many people were killed for nothing. He grabs his hair in terror, but gets back the self-control a few seconds later. He has to find Shownu. 

There are three bodies of the scientists in the controller room. Hwanung searches the cabinets for any weapon, but finds nothing useful, not even a knife. At least there’s a keycard on the dashboard. When he’s about to leave his ankle gets grabbed by hot fingers. Minhyuk flinches of surprise. He thought everyone here was dead as well. The man with shot out hands and sliced throat that has pieces of skin hanging holds onto his pant leg and wheezes probably asking for help. Minhyuk is sincerely astonished by such impudence. He wants to get help after everything he’s done? After that unbearable pain that he forced hundreds of people including Minhyuk to go through? Without any hint of remorse, but not without a bit of cruel pleasure Hwanung kicks him in the face as hard as he can in such condition. Minhyuk falls on the cabinets and knocks down some shelves because of the force that jerked him forward. The man’s head tilts with a cracking sound and he stops moving. 

Minhyuk waddles to the door without wasting any more time. The keycard works instantly making the beeping sound. He enters a semi-dark corridor and stumbles immediately. The floor is covered with people in the uniform, those exact people who would take Hwanungs back to the cells after sessions. Everything slurps and squishes underneath his shoes, crimson drops splatter around. Corpses back in the generator room excited pity, but these ones don’t even deserve disdain neither do the scientists. Minhyuk picks up a Beretta and cold-bloodedly searches pockets collecting bullets. He turns his head and suddenly sees a familiar face on the other side.

“Hyungwon!” 

The black clothing of their Clan barely stands out among the blue uniform. The bullets fall into crimson puddles. Minhyuk strives forward, falls on his knees stumbling over something and, not paying any attention to the pain that flashed in a new wave, crawls forward to him desperately, climbing over bodies, pushing hands into someone’s abdomens, noses, wrists. His heart beats like crazy, burning hands turn ice-cold out of fear, they leave reddish stains on spots that haven’t been covered in blood yet. He couldn’t die, right? He couldn’t die right in front of his nose while he was unconscious, right? The stomach twists just like many years ago when he turned to his street and saw an ambulance next to his house and a stretcher covered with white fabric. 

“Hyungwon, wake up, Hyungwon!” Minhyuk crawls to him and turns the guy onto his back slapping his cheeks with shaking hands. “Please, you can’t do this to me…” 

Thick blood streams down the right side of his face staining his hair and now dyeing Hwanung’s bandages. Minhyuk bites his lip in an attempt to hold back upcoming hysteria, he has to think straight. He carefully separates Hyungwon’s hair looking for a wound. He can’t understand whether his head is really cold or if it’s just his imagination anymore. Minhyuk takes a closer look at the same time palpating the surface and realizes it’s not a bullet wound. A tensed exhale slips out his mouth. It seems like a blunt-force trauma which means the head is probably not injured lethally. 

Fingers slide down under the turtleneck collar. Hwanung doesn’t want to trust his senses in his current condition being scared of figuring out the truth, so finding carotid artery and checking the pulse takes time. Seconds pass by, a minute follows and Minhyuk virtually doesn’t trust his feelings. Under his ring finger, the only one which phalanx didn’t get pierced by a needle, weak beating can be felt. 

“Thank god,” whispers Hwanung in a croaky voice laughing nervously. 

He pays attention to Hyungwon’s clothes. Under the jacket a durable bulletproof vest holding the skinny body can be seen. A little bit above the middle there’s a small hole which turns out not to be through and through, but it probably was rather tangible. Enough to knock out of balance especially in a mess. Minhyuk loosens the fastenings, takes off the front section of the vest and hears a barely distinguishable hoarse inhale. Hyungwon’s chest goes up and down irregularly. Strings inside that were strained to the extent they were ringing relax. Alive, he really is alive. 

“What do I do with you?”

Minhyuk looks around hastily not knowing what he should do. He can’t stay, he has to run to the others as fast as possible, but he can’t just leave him like that, it’s too dangerous. Eyes feverishly thrash around focusing on the walls, doors, corpses, cables. A bench. Next to the wall there’s a wide long bench made out of black metal and almost invisible in these dim lights and it also has an empty space underneath meant for instruments kits. Hwanung grabs Hyungwon by the armpits, lifts up a bit and starts dragging him crying out of pain that stroke his muscles. The body still hasn’t recovered completely. However there’s no time to wait, so Minhyuk takes a second to brace himself and, howling through the clenched teeth, drags him over blood puddles kicking the bodies from his way. 

Only when he begins stuffing Hyungwon under the bench he notices an object hanging behind his back and which has been scratching the floor all this time. A recurve bow, that very bow he used during trainings, the bow Jooheon modernized especially for him. Minhyuk furrows his eyebrows not being able to understand how it got here. Did Shownu purposefully leave it to Hyungwon to hand it to Minhyuk in case he is able to shoot? Why not a crossbow? 

The answer is found a minute later. On a spot where Hyungwon was laying there’s the crossbow with a broken handle. Leader had foreseen even this situation and brought over the bow, so Minhyuk has at least any advantage. The corner of Hwanung’s lips go up a little. Shownu really thinks ahead. 

At the same place next to the crossbow there’s an earpiece that the Clans use to keep in touch. An abrupted wire sticks out the cracked body. In Hyungwon’s pocket there’s another one probably intended for Minhyuk. He puts it into his ear and switches on, but hears nothing except for hissing and beeping. Seems like it got damaged when Hyungwon fell down. The opportunity to reach out with his people vanishes. 

“We’ll come back for you,” promises Minhyuk making sure that Hyungwon can’t be noticed under the bench and softly caresses his hazelnut hair one last time. 

The weapon adds some confidence. A long corridor outside the generator room represents a rather avant-garde exhibition of modern art. Every hundred meters there’s a dead guard with a little puddle beneath. The floor is painted with chains of red footprints. Silence is encouraging and nerve-wracking at the same time. Minhyuk’s hands got a death grip on the gun when walks carefully listening to the surroundings or starts running. 

The corridor ends. A wide door leading to the transitional isle between the blocks is riddled with bullets. Stepping over another batch of dead guards Minhyuk swipes the keycard and gets ready to shoot without delay if needed. 

The transitional isle is a square faced with polished metal that has two corridors on its sides: the block of high-level access laboratories in where Hwanung has been kept and the block of storage facilities. In the right wall there are two elevators that connect the Citadel sections. Minhyuk picks out cautiously and after making sure there was no one there goes forward. A moment later the world is colored with sounds again. Behind the solid walls gunshots are firing, explosions are rumbling, someone’s voice indistinctly booming into a bullhorn. The siege is well under way and it seems like the Clans left in the defense are good at their jobs. At least for now. 

Minhyuk crosses the transitional isle and opens the other block’s door quickly putting back the keycard and drawing his gun. Not hearing any response he peeps inside and sees almost the same picture: dead guards and bloody footprints. This means this part of the building has been cleared as well. Maybe there’s still someone inside the rooms at the end of the corridor, but Minhyuk doesn’t want to waste time on checking it out. After all, this block is assigned to the Cassiopeia Clan and the Clan SJ and to Minhyuk, despite the leftovers of his moral values, his friends are his only priority. 

The elevator button turns blue. Minhyuk’s shoe taps on the baseboard while he’s waiting. When the doors open brown eyes stare right at him. A mouth is wide open, wheat hair scattered all over the shoulders, arms covered with papers. On the bridge of the nose there’s a hole that has two red thin lines running down. A woman with a bloodstained name tag “Kim Soojin, executive director of the Accommodation Block” lays by the farther wall of the elevator. Her legs are unnaturally twisted to the side along the wall, so she doesn’t take too much space. 

Minhyuk looks at the frozen picture of death almost indifferently. A few hours in the generator room squeezed out the thoughts of some Citadel workers being humans that deserve consideration to the very last drop. Humans can’t do such things. What has been done to them Hwanungs cannot be justified. He comes in and pushes an “Administration Section” button. 

A reception room is basically a bloodbath. Obviously expensive black-white marble tiles can be seen in a few spots only: the floor is covered with a carpet made out of corpses and scarlet rivers.  
Behind the reception desk there are administrators in strict official suits piling up on each other. In a light of a massive chandelier shards of glass, TV monitors and information stands are shimmering. Broken chairs, weapons that fell out of dead hands, leaflets dedicated to the beautiful life in the Zone Korea are scattered around. On the wall huge letters pierced with bullets in some places are dazzling: “For the good of the people”. 

Biting his cheek from the inside with anxiety, Minhyuk briefly examines a new bunch of corpses. There are guards in the blue uniform again, a couple of Hunters, working personnel of this section and, sadly, some familiar faces. Two members of the Clan Aurora and one member of the Clan Six. Minhyuk doesn’t really know them, but his heart still sinks painfully. That could’ve been any of the people he cares about. Also seeing glassy eyes of those who he sat with at the same table at the Clans Council is too upsetting. They all just wanted a better life. 

The reception room has two corridors just like on the floor below. One leads to the Public Affairs Block, the other one – to the Central Control Block. In the first Block there are departments that work on transportation system control, education, employment, housing issues and everything that is connected to the life within the Zone as it is. The second Block is responsible for control of the implementation of these processes and, what matters the most, for the authoritative and legal basis of the Zone functioning and of the Citadel work. The latter is precisely their main and final target, so Minhyuk after a little hesitation decides to go there. He has been sitting at the sideline for too long, it’s time to dive right into it. 

All the doors along the corridor are wide open, some of them hanging on the hinges. The most part of the employees was killed right where they had been working – in their comfortable leather chairs with a cup of strong coffee in their hands. In bigger offices that have a bigger amount of workers the image was a bit different. Instead of straight headshots and shots to hearts, bullets pierced foreheads, sides, backs and arms that were used in attempts to cover themselves while running away. The smell of documents in crispy Ziploc bags is mixed with harsh odor of fired gunpowder. And of course with blood, blood is spluttered everywhere, sometimes with chunks of brains. The thought of all this mess taking them a couple of days and a few liters of cleanser to clean up skates over his mind. 

His heart speeds up when short gunshots start to be heard from far. The first sounds inside the Citadel after long minutes of silence that has been stressing Hwanung out much more. The absolute silence soaring above the piles of dead bodies made him feel like everything around had died out and he was left alone in a huge mass grave. It’s ironic, but gunshots mean life. 

Feet break into a run themselves. Shooting becomes louder, threatening voices that demand to put weapons down pipe up. Minhyuk feels like he’s running on a long springboard that has icy water splashing a few hundred meters beneath. It’s bubbling and foaming, ready to bite his heels any moment. Run up, jump. 

A bright light and flashes of flying bullets welcome him at the entrance into a round room that separates the whole Citadel from its heart, its core for which a desperate fight has been going. He sees the blue uniform of the guards that are exchanging gunfire with some Carat Clan’s members behind the pillars and then his gaze lays upon the man for whom he was rushing to get here. Shownu is reloading his pistol behind a high stand. Minhyuk’s eyes detect movements and he sees a Hunter sneaking up to Shownu from the unprotected side. 

Guns have never been his weapons. Especially taking into account that the enemies are probably wearing bulletproof vests and in order to cause them enough damage he has to take a thorough aim which takes time. Minhyuk holds up the bow in front of him and puts his right hand on the shelf designed for an arrow that he doesn’t have. Because he doesn’t need it. A short inhale-exhale as a preparation for the upcoming pain. The arm moves back swiftly as if inserting an invisible arrow, but instead of a pointless air glide a line of the Energy appears. Steady, well-maintained, reminds of a sparkling arrow. It touches the string and instead of destroying pulls it back accumulating the force. A result of exhausting daily trainings. The arm starts shaking chaotically and breaking into pieces from the inside, but Minhyuk grits his teeth tighter, forces it to stay still for a couple of seconds and relaxes his fingers before the control over matter disappears. 

The arrow goes right between the ribs evoking an inhumane scream. Hunter’s body sparkles and after a moment the affected region blows up showing darkened lungs and the heart shrunk into a burnt sack. The arm flies off, eyes roll out the sockets, jaw freezes unevenly and then the lifeless body falls down. 

Shownu who didn’t immediately realize what happened peeks out, looks at the Hunter and only then notices Minhyuk. Estimating the situation quickly he takes advantage of the shocked enemies being dumbstruck and strives to Hwanung. Minhyuk wants to call him, but falls on his knees exhaustedly using the bow as a cane that doesn’t let him fall completely. The blood that seemed to stop starts streaming out his hand impregnating the bandages. 

He’s located in front of the entrance on the most opened spot which the guards who came to their senses immediately decide to take advantage of. A Beretta pointed at him makes a shot aiming if not at his head then somewhere at the shoulder for sure. Shownu who rushed forward seconds before that manages to jerk Minhyuk to the side and drag him behind a rather safe pillar. 

“Are you injured?” leader examines him worryingly and notices red streams flowing down his right hand. “This won’t do. You gotta get back to…”

Minhyuk puts his arms around Shownu’s neck and hides his face in a soft collar. Fingers grab his clothes staining it with blood. The arm is burning, his hand feels like it has been put into a vat of molten metal, but he clenches it tighter trying to be as close to him as possible. This is what he wanted when he was laying on a dirty mattress like a shapeless sack. This is what he wanted when he was stepping over dead bodies. You never know when you touch someone for the last time. Shownu gets what he’s thinking about without words. They have to be thankful for still being alive. The outcome of this day might be anything. Shownu hugs him carefully afraid to hurt him more than he has already been hurting. He turns his head a little and presses his lips against lily of the valley hair for a few seconds closing his eyes, memorizing the moment. Gunshots are firing around, people are screaming, things are falling, but for a one short moment the world turns off. At least for one moment. 

“You can’t fight in such condition,” eventually leader pulls away and looks at him seriously. “I ordered Hyungwon to keep an eye on you.”  
“He’s unconscious and all the Hwanungs in the generator room were killed. Do you understand? They just shot them all down when they couldn’t even stand up on their own. I won’t go anywhere. These motherfuckers have to pay for everything they’ve done.”  
“Minhyuk, your hands…”  
“Damn my hands. The other Clans’ members are dead, Shownu, they’re dead and we’re here and pain is the smallest thing I can repay their sacrifices with. I want to help, I can help.”

Shownu’s tensed face darkens with every word. He tried to protect the most precious thing even though he did it against his own rule about all Clan members being equal and put one life above the others. And he would do it again. But Minhyuk is too stubborn, too right. He can clear their way preventing further losses. The question is at what cost and if Shownu’s ready to pay it. 

“Round Hall, everyone get back and take defensive positions,” leader’s finger turns on the earpiece, Minhyuk and he keep looking at each other. “Repeat, everyone get back to the entrance. The Energy outflow is on the way.”  
“Thank you,” Hwanung nods and gives him a quick kiss while he still can. “I’ll be all right.” 

He’s lying and they both know it. Minhyuk unwraps the bandages and rips them off with dried blood sticking to the skin, but doesn’t even flinch. His left palm looks pretty decent at least nothing’s dripping from it. The right palm is swollen and reminds of maroon mush. In some spots the skin is just chipping off. Shownu furiously moves his lower jaw and turns away. He checks the perimeter making sure everyone’s out of the impact zone. If he sees Hwanung’s face screwing in pain he’ll change his mind and just knock him out with a gun handle. 

“Is anyone still there?” the answer to Shownu’s question is silence and he decides that it’s time to move. “Everyone stay behind the pillars.”

Minhyuk rolls up his sleeves and stands up. On his left he sees Wonho and Kihyun, on his right – Jooheon and Changkyun. They look at him with concern pointing at the smudged red spot underneath his shoes. Hwanung shakes his head and whispers articulating with his lips that everything’s fine and then smiles at everyone one by one for last. Feels nice to be around his family again. 

“I’m ready. Will you guys cover me?”

He makes confident steps forward and asks Shownu to deliver the order and then get back. He obeys reluctantly and draws his gun. “Everybody hold positions. Keep the distance, cover from behind”. The others show “okay” signs. 

Minhyuk hears footsteps and whispers from the other side of the hall. Their enemies are trying to figure out what’s going on. They definitely don’t believe that he’s got any strength left for something serious, but they don’t like the situation. However they eagerly hope for retreat since they’re running low on military resources. 

Maybe Minhyuk doesn’t have much strength left, but he’s found a great way to restore it three times over. Pain, bitter and scorching. Pain that his body is soaked with. Pain that his soul is soaked with. Pain for all the innocent people who these monsters have tortured and killed without even wincing. He becomes stronger from what makes him weaker. 

One determined jump onto the main pathway, all bets are off. Minhyuk lifts up his hands and releases the absolutely uncontrolled outflow of the Energy on those who reacted to his appearance. Gunshots pipe up again – bodies fall down. One of the guards tries to shoot stretching only a pistol from behind the pillar. A hand movement and the pistol explodes breaking into pieces the guard’s arm with shards, a shriek follows. A few seconds later Minhyuk himself starts yelling. He feels his skin melting, but keeps going forward, getting closer and making those who were hiding jump up from their corners. 

Blood spurts from his nose. Hands are shaking, body is burning as if it’s tearing apart, as if he sat back on the chair in the generator room, but now of his own free will. Realizing that he stops feeling his limbs Minhyuk decides to make a final shot putting his all into it, to the very last atom. His fingers bend, the scream becomes louder. Two streams of the Energy get bigger and finally merge into one gigantic sparking azure wave that is pulsating and beating so loud it makes everyone’s ears get plugged up. Tables that were used as barricades get smashed into smithereens. Everything that is touched by the moving wave gets destroyed, blows up, turns into dust. Stands, chairs, metal crates, bodies. When the wave touches one of the pillars the rumble booms and stone broken into pieces pierces the wall almost going through them. The remained Hunters take off running to the exit and get bullets to the backs. 

The front part of the hall has turned into ruins. If the wave tears down at least two other pillars the building will start collapsing right on their heads. However when the wave reaches the pillars almost touching them the Energy dies out. The wave rips apart and cracks, flashing lights flicker until it vanishes completely with a loud pop. Minhyuk gets thrown back a little, but he isn’t capable of sticking out his leg to support himself. He starts falling down into a pile of shards. Shownu manages to catch him at the last moment not letting his head touch the shattered tiles. 

“Minhyuk? Minhyuk!”

Hwanung’s eyes are closed, breathing is shallow, chest rises non-rhythmically, body is shaking. Hands look the worst. The skin just came off his palms, the entire surface till the elbows is bleeding. Open flesh is damaged as well, some pieces hang off. 

“Holy fucking shit,” Changkyun runs over and lands on his knees beside them, looking at Minhyuk with out of character worry. “He’s not gonna die, right?”  
“He will NOT die,” states Shownu harshly more for himself than for anyone else.  
“We can’t let dust get in there,” Kihyun kneels down on the other side. “Anybody got any bandages?” 

Negative head shakes. Everyone grouped round them and keep shifting their eyes from the destroyed hall to Minhyuk and back being stunned. This power is scary and fascinating at the same time. It was hard to believe in what they saw. If he inflicted such an enormous damage in a weak condition then what could he do when he’s healthy and full of strength? However the thinking must wait. 

“We have to keep moving,” reminds Minghao. “We give them time to get ready.”  
“I’m staying here,” Shownu lifts his head. “Some of the remained Hunters might appear.”  
“The others are dealing with them. We need you, we don’t know how many people are there.”  
“I won’t leave him again.”  
“He’s safe here.”  
“I said…”  
“Go,” Minhyuk’s quiet grunt makes everyone shut up. “I’m fine.”  
“You’re bleeding.”  
“I’m fine,” repeats Hwanung stubbornly peering at him with his eyes half closed. “You have to be there. I’ll catch up with you after some rest. Please.” 

Shownu breathes out heavily, trying to maintain composure. This man is killing him. Stubborn as a mule even when he’s in agonizing pain and saying no to him is literally impossible. Leader has to act like a leader, but Shownu’s got himself a weak spot which tears him into halves. One way or another, Minhyuk is right again. He has to get the job done and lead the people that trust him to the victory. Responsibility first, emotions second. The goal is close. 

“Okay,” Shownu touches a pale cheek. “But under no circumstances will you use the Energy again, only the gun. You understand me?”  
“Yes. Only the gun.”  
“Jooheon, give him your earpiece, you’ll stick to me. Everybody get ready.”

Shownu’s voice gets back the tough commanding tone, face stiffens, brain turns into a battle mode. Jooheon squats, puts the earpiece into Minhyuk’s ear and pats his shoulder carefully. 

“You keep on fighting, okay? We need you alive, we ain’t going home without you.”  
“We’ve decided to get fucked up when it’s all over, how’s that sound?” Wonho curves his lips knocking on his neck emphatically.  
“Awesome,” croaks Hwanung giving a weak smile. “I want apple soju and Kihyun’s corn cheese.”  
“We gotta go to the market to get your damn corn first,” Kihyun plays along, but then looks into his eyes seriously. “I’m glad you’re with us. And I will be even happier if it stays the same.” 

Minhyuk would’ve definitely cried if he could. Too many things have happened throughout these last three days. He thinks of disdain in Kihyun’s eyes when he was looking at him during the first weeks and worry he’s looking at him with right now. The worry everyone else is looking at him with. He came into the Clan as a hostage doomed to death, but ended up finding a family he’s never had. He didn’t even think that his life costed anything and someone else could need him. Minhyuk is ready to die for them over and over again. And fight till the very last. 

“We’re heading out.”

Shownu commands and the group starts moving. It’s time to finish what they started. Only Changkyun stays for a few more seconds before catching up to them. 

“I will kick your ass so fucking hard if you die, White Head, I’ll find you in hell and I’ll keep banging your fucking head on the sinners’ pot until Satan himself drags me off.”

His back disappears in the darkness of the corridor and Minhyuk closes his eyes tiredly. Only after making sure everyone’s far enough he lets himself whimper continuously sucking in the dry air with desperation. The howl echoes from the walls loaded with shrapnel. Arms are laying on the cold floor like torn ragdolls and are burning as if they were placed under huge torches. He wants to drink madly, just pour water over red-hot insides, fill them up with ice, calm down even slightly. He’s got the urge to give in to a veil soaring on his mind and black out, but he wouldn’t forgive himself that. 

Orders and short answers sound in the earpiece from time to time. Minhyuk opens his eyes and looks at the perfectly white ceiling at almost two or even three floors height. Dust is swirling in the air, shimmering in the light of a huge chandelier that would suit theatre’s foyer better than a pass gate to the Citadel’s Government Chamber. He thinks about the time when he was laying just like that on a dirty concrete floor of a furniture factory after being kicked into stomach and left behind with his tiny salary in their pockets. Blood was streaming his face as well. Sparks of the Energy that wanted to flow out and hit back were running across his hands. That would’ve been a straight and inglorious way to the Hunters, so he put up with it. Spent his entire life putting up with everything. 

“Enemy on the left, take up your positions,” the earpiece suddenly livens up and Hwanung twitches screwing his face. It’s started. The last obstacle on their way to the long-awaited freedom. Right now they are making history, creating destiny, fighting for the people who have no clue about their existence. And Minhyuk is yet again laying on the side, resting, swimming in his well-known agony. Resentment fueled by irritation is burning almost as fiercely as his minced hands. 

“Get up,” whispers Minhyuk to himself for the thousandth time today. “You have to get up. You’ve been enduring shit for twenty five years and you can endure more.”

The body feels heavy to the extent it can’t be elevated. A number of failed attempts to get up make sweat slide down his temple. Hwanung growls out of pain and frustration, but isn’t gonna give up. If you can’t do something then it means you should change your tactics. Minhyuk tries to repeat what he did back in the generator room. He barely manages to turn to the side, takes a short break and uses his elbow as a crutch. It takes time, but the body reacts to a muscle pull and finally rises swaying to the side. Minhyuk grunts closing his mouth tightly. He breathes loudly through the nose trying to roll over and not let his hands push against the floor with palms instinctively otherwise such a painful shockwave will knock him out immediately. 

After a few torturously long minutes he sits on his knees. A couple of salty drops fall off his forehead. Minhyuk pushes his wrists against the floor and lifts up his torso. He catches his breath and slowly moves to the closest pillar which is to help him stand up. Hwanung reaches it, wraps his arms around and uses it as a support while shifting from knees to feet. It takes him one minute to muster the strength and force himself to stand up. Minhyuk chokes on a moan when a discharge that is disgruntled with his activity strikes his body. 

The head is spinning and humming, the body feels unbelievably heavy and unbelievably light at the same time. Minhyuk makes an unsure step checking his sustainability. Unreliably and shaky, but seems like he can stand. He blinks repeatedly trying to restore the adequate perception of the environment and then starts his long way forward. How many more times is he gonna have to learn to walk again? 

Crossings from a pillar to pillar turn out to be horribly exhausting. The earpiece stays quiet scaring him with the uncertainty, but Minhyuk doesn’t want to distract anyone knowing that it might cost someone their life. He walks unsteadily, but dedicatedly leaving a trace of blood stains behind. After passing the pillars and reaching the entrance to the corridor he leans on the wall for a little to have a rest. He won’t be able to get up if he falls down, that’s for sure. 

A dozen meters in, Minhyuk begins to hear gunshots. Relatively close. Just a little further and he’ll be there. Adrenaline caused by worries about the situation on the other side of the corridor gives him some strength, dulling the pain a little bit. Maybe he just got used to it. He inches his way forward shuffling his feet and touching the wall with his elbow so he has something to lean on in case of a severe dizziness. Finally tips of long shadows flicker on the floor. 

The farther side of a spacious hall ends with a wall of bulletproof glass. Behind it there’s a conference room decorated in crème tones with a huge switched off monitor which has a control panel below. Next to the panel there’s a black microphone standing on a special coaster majestically. Minhyuk saw this room on TV. There the heads of the Zone announce holidays, forthcoming typhoons, new laws and increased rewards for Hwanungs right into that microphone. The heart of the Citadel. Its leaders are huddling into chairs frightened and banging on alarm buttons. 

In front of the entrance to the room barricades of safes, lockers, closets and metal document shelves were hastily piled up. Some things are left around the hall because the guards didn’t manage to drag them in time. The Clan members are hiding behind those objects, peeking out every few seconds and trying to catch the guards who do the same thing. 

Minhyuk looks around, then presses his back against the wall and waits. It’s all he can do. His own helplessness feels humiliating. As if he purposefully came for everything ready-made and didn’t even lift a finger. This thought is weighing in him so much he concentrates on his body trying to detect at least a hint for the restoring Energy, but all he got are muscles grilled with smoke and peeled open palms reacting to every breath of wind. 

The agonizing wait pushes him towards new crazy ideas. Minhyuk puts all efforts into listening and recreates the scenery of what’s going on in his head. If he hears a familiar scream he can storm forward and distract the enemies. Maybe he’ll prevent someone’s death. A few minutes later the sounds of battle start being interfered with something else. It takes Minhyuk some time to realize that it’s coming from the corridor. Sounds like footsteps, but shuffling hardly, almost dragging along the floor. He turns his head abruptly and feels his insides shrinking. It’s pointless to try taking out the gun. One touch to his palms and he’ll double over in pain. The only way is into the battlefield. 

A shadow starts showing from around the corner. Barely a few steps are left. Minhyuk pushes off from the wall with struggle ready to run. He already jerks his foot to the side when a man drifts into his view. 

“Jeonghan!” he exclaims quietly recognizing the tossed hair.  
“You’re here too? What a die-hard son of a bitch.”

The elder Hwanung curves lips in a crooked smile. His face is covered in bloody dirt, a wound appeared on a cheek, eyes are red and swollen. Arms swaying like whips seem almost as deadly. 

“Feels like they were put into a meat grinder, doesn’t it?” Minhyuk points at them with his chin squinting understandingly.  
“I wish they were put into a meat grinder and got cut the fuck off,” grunts Jeonghan approaching him and leaning on the wall exhaustedly. “What’s the situation?”  
“Not many are left, but they hold down the defense well. What matters is that if we have enough bullets.”  
“We must have. Our guys wouldn’t have showed up empty and those bastards weren’t ready for the attack.” 

Once he finishes the constant series of shots change. The one that has just started gets interrupted by one shot which is followed by the sound of a falling gun and then a body. Hwanungs freeze intensely not knowing who it was. 

“One left,” Wonho’s voice pipes up in the earpiece and Minhyuk breathes out in relief. 

“Not ours?”  
“No. One last left.”

“Surround him,” commands Shownu. “Soonyoung, Hansol, Jisoo, go right between the boxes. X, we come in from the left behind the safes, the others cover us. Nobody stick out.” 

Minhyuk retells Jeonghan everything and bites his pale lip nervously listening. They can’t lose anyone, not when the victory is so close. They have to get out of here together like they planned. 

A new series of gunshots, rapid stomps, noises of falling objects and gunshots again followed by silence. The throat is petrified in panic, the air stumbles somewhere in the lungs. 

“Well then, motherfuckers, it’s time for you to get fucked,” Changkyun almost cackles loudly and Minhyuk exchanges unbelieving looks with Jeonghan.  
“We… we won?” whispers Jeonghan perplexedly. 

Screw it, Minhyuk is on the verge of losing his mind. He jumps into the hall and sees all the members standing in front of the glass wall ready to open the last door before their goal. 

“We won,” confirms the younger Hwanung with shock drawing attention of the others and seeing weak smiles on their faces and then turns back to Jeonghan. “We wo…” 

Everything happened so fast that he doesn’t understand what’s happened right away. They were so into the actions inside the hall that heard footsteps too late. Minhyuk didn’t hear them at all. When he turns around he sees Jeonghan’s back, his arms spread in an attempt to shield Minhyuk and a Hunter in the corridor. A gunshot bangs just a second later. 

Jeonghan’s body flinches when it gets pierced by a bullet somewhere in the chest. He inhales frantically, but dashes forward furiously and lifts his hands. The Energy strike cuts the tiles lightning fast and explodes brightly when touches the Hunter ripping him into pieces. Jeonghan gets thrown back and falls on Minhyuk knocking him off to the ground. 

“Jeonghan?” Minhyuk immediately jumps up in fear and grabs him by the shoulders ignoring his palms flashing with hellish flame. “Jeonghan, you…”

A scarlet stain is growing bigger on the elder Hwanung’s chest flowing down his stomach. A bubbling whimper comes out his mouth, blood spurts. 

“No, you can’t die, you hear me? No,” babbles Minhyuk, his lips trembling, while moving hands around him not knowing what to do. “You can’t, Jeonghan, we won!”  
“Wo… won…”  
“Yes, we won. Don’t you dare giving up, understood? What about Seungcheol, what about the Clan, what about…”  
“Seungcheol’s gone,” grunts Jeonghan irregularly, makes a hard inhale and grabs Minhyuk’s wrist desperately. “Seungcheol’s gone so look after our guys. Okay? They’re nice, they’re really…”  
“Jeonghan? Jeonghan!”

He sucks in the air and coughs chocking on blood. The stream flowing out his chest becomes more intense. Eyes roll up, body gets strained arching in massive convulsions. A loud whimper, the back falls down, chest lowers and never moves again. 

“Jeonghan!” Minhyuk shakes his shoulders smudging his own blood all around. “No, no!” 

Minhyuk wails full force not even noticing the others surrounding them. He gets dragged to the side lifted by waist, but Minhyuk breaks out and falls on his knees. He bawls so hard his whole body is shaking, hand burning like never before, hot tears scorch his cheeks, voice disappears. He’s wobbling and he almost falls down, but he’s caught again being held tightly. 

“No, no, it can’t be,” he whispers hysterically gaining back the ability to speak. “He shouldn’t have protected me, he…”  
“He did what he thought was right,” Shownu’s voice (only now a piece of Minhyuk’s mind realizes that he’s being held by Shownu) makes him come to his senses a little. “I’m sorry, Minhyuk.” 

A huge hole is howling deafeningly inside. Throat is caught in spasm, the air bursts out in chunks. Just like when they didn’t let him into the ambulance to grandma who had already turned cold. Just like when he was sitting alone at memorial service. Just like when he was holding her urn. The Carat Clan members are sitting over Jeonghan holding each other by shoulders. In a blink of an eye they’ve lost those who gave them home and family. And Minhyuk’s just lost a mentor without whom he couldn’t have become who he is now. Lost a spiritual brother. 

Hwanung makes Shownu let go of him and crawls to them ignoring the pain. He kneels down in a deep bow, forehead pressed against a broken tile.

“I beg your forgiveness. I am sorry that he died because of me. I am so so sorry…”

Tears flow down his nose falling into the dust, words get stuck. Hwanung hates himself. He doesn’t even have the right to cry. The man who just wanted to help other people just like him has died because of him. If he gets thrown stones at right now he won’t mind.

Instead of stones he feels hands on his back. They lift him up from the floor, wrap around him and hug. Then someone hugs him from behind. Carats gather around supporting each other in their darkest hour. Even despite the suffocating veil of their grief they understand how Minhyuk feels and instead of judging accept him. The murderers have their own sanctity left. 

“He would’ve followed Seungcheol anyway,” says Mingyu quietly in a shaky voice, but everyone hears him. “It’s not your fault, this asshole just found a glamorous way to go.”

A sad laughter through the pricking grief flies around the hall. Maybe it will dull it a little. Nothing’s over yet after all. It’s time to make a final step. 

“Can you walk?” Shownu squats next to him when the Carats start leaving for the conference room after covering Jeonghan with a jacket.  
“Help me get up.”

Walking while leaning on leader’s shoulders is much easier. At least there’s no fear of falling down because he’s held safely. Minhyuk wipes tears off smudging the blood from his hand around his face and lifts up his head resolutely. He will go to the very end for both of them. He has to gather his strength for the last time, diving into his personal tragedy can be done later. For everyone who has lost their lives today. 

Barricades are getting thrown out the way. The keycard clicks. A key turns round in a huge lock. The glass door opens destroying the last obstacle to the Citadel’s heart. Four heads of the Zone immediately start vying in bargaining. 

“Please, lower your weapons! Let’s make a deal. We have money, a lot of money.”  
“You’ll get everything you ask for, we can cooperate, you see? Mutually beneficial partnership.”  
“Here’s all the data, anything you can possibly need.”  
“We’re working for you only, for the good of the people, our research is the key to the greatness of a nation.”  
“For the good of the people?” Wonho snickers looking at the buzzing group with disdain, “You shoot down innocent people like rabid dogs for the good of the people you fucking dipshits?”  
“That was a necessary measure for maintaining peace. Nothing should hinder the development of science.”  
“We’ll tie you up to the poles and leave in the downtown how’s that science sound to you?” Wonwoo steps forward clenching his fists.  
“Wait,” slows him down Kihyun and addresses the heads. “You said you could give us everything we ask for.”  
“Everything, of course,” they nod vigorously. “All you need to do is ask.”  
“Give us our families back.” 

Suddenly silence falls upon the conference room. Firm, but so madly exhausted eyes burn four puzzled men through. Everyone here has one most dearest to heart desire – to get back those who they’ve lost. The most dearest and the most unfulfillable. Words which they’ve been desperate to say out loud for so long. 

“Revive all those who have died because of you. Rewind the time and prevent this massive massacre,” Kihyun’s voice echoes from pretentious walls. “While you give orders sitting in your fucking chairs people get killed for nothing. They had been shot hundreds in a day. Children, adults, elders. Anyone who didn’t suit you or the Hunters interests would be murdered. We don’t need your money made out of blood. We need your blood.” 

Negotiations end on this note. Guns get put back. Jooheon, Changkyun and Wonho along with the Carat Clan take the heads out to the hall. For such unscrupulous scumbags firing squad would be a too generous death. They like torturing people hence they deserve the same treatment. Knifes are taken out and the game “Who dies due to the pain struck shock first” begins. Some people say that revenge can’t soothe the soul, but the guys don’t agree with this statement. 

Kihyun closes the door to block off hysterical cries. Shownu carefully sits Minhyuk down on the chair and presses their foreheads together gratefully for a couple of seconds. The only thing left is the microphone they’ve been fighting their way here for all this time. A piece of metal painted in black and controlling the entire Zone. Everything being said into it automatically becomes absolute truth. Shownu freezes knowing that his words will change everything. He exchanges looks with Minhyuk and Kihyun. Two people who are the closest to him nod with confidence. 

“A representative of the allied Clans that fight against the unfair system that took control over our Zone twenty six years ago, the Republic of Korea at that time, is speaking. The Citadel has officially fallen. The previous power has been eliminated, building cleared from the top down. All those who are trying to break through will be killed. Your leaders are dead. Our backup is already pressing you from behind. Put your weapons down and surrender, then you will be granted mercy.”

Shownu’s voice is coming out from every speaker of the Zone being carried through the cold winter air by the wind. People freeze looking around in surprise. The Clans in defense turn their heads to the top section of the Citadel not believing that everything’s over. Cars of the Hunters stop in front of the gates hesitantly. 

“The new era begins. Instead of the previous Government the Zone will be ruled by the UNIT consisting of leaders of the Clans that have been fighting for your, for our freedom today. There’s no need to be scared anymore. There’s no need to hide anymore. Hwanungs are not enemies of people. Any persecution or harassment of them will be punished by the new Law. In a week the Citadel work will be reorganized completely. Those whose relatives and friends have entered these walls but never came out will be able to apply here for information. Not many Hwanungs have survived here, but some of them are alive. They will get proper treatment and will be able to leave the Citadel when they are healthy enough. All the detectors will be destroyed. We declare a complete freedom of opinions, views and a full transparency. The Hunters who don’t give in their weapons will be executed. We are ready to hear out your suggestions regarding the improvements of life in the Zone. We will be negotiating with the rest of the world on taking off the barriers. We will build the state in which all the people have equal rights and in which it’s not scary to speak out.”

EPILOGUE

Among hot summer days there’s finally a chill calm evening when it’s fine to turn off the air conditioners and open the windows wide ventilating the house that smells like wood. Minhyuk puts a bottle of homemade lemonade covered in water drops into a backpack, places sandwiches on top and throws in a bag of cookies. He puts on the backpack, takes his fingerless gloves from the desk and goes out.

The living room evokes questions by its uncommon appearance making him stop in the doorway. On the sofa there’s a huge red sportive bag in which Wonho is stuffing a stolen bottle of wine with zeal. The table is cleaned out neatly, books that are usually scattered around are stacked. Instead of training pants Wonho is wearing jeans and a fluid mint shirt. 

“You going somewhere?”  
“Shit, failed to sneak out unnoticed,” the guy laughs clapping his hands with a theatrical regret.  
“So?”  
“Leaving for Gyeongju. Thought it’s finally the time to visit my pretty bride. Have to do some clean up on her shelf in the columbarium, wipe her urn, bring over her favorite flowers. I’ve got lots of things to tell her about,” Wonho eventually succeeds in stuffing the bottle into the bag and zips it with satisfaction. “Then I’ll go to the sea. I found a nice shack in Ulsan just down the beach. There’s a smithy not far from it, so I’m thinking about learning to forge my own daggers.”  
“Wait. You’re like leaving-LEAVING?” stunned Minhyuk rises his eyebrows.  
“Yeah, I’m leaving. I want to get some rest from all this bullshit we’ve been through. Take my mind off it.”  
“But you’ll come back?”

Wonho notices his saddened face and sneers exhaling through the nose loudly. He approaches Minhyuk in serious silence just like someone would approach a patient to deliver bad news. But he lightly slaps the back of his head instead. 

“Dumbass, what kind of a stupid question is that? Where are you gonna run from me you bunch of boring ass nuns? Of course I’ll come back, I’ve got nobody but you. Can I have my damn vacation or not?”

Minhyuk rubs his head resentfully and pokes him with the elbow. It’s not okay to scare people with such news, he’s worried about him sincerely after all. 

“You’re going to Shownu? Need a lift?”

Red like cayenne pepper, Wonho’s Audi races over the highway overtaking all other cars. Light and fast it literally flies and covers the distance to the city entrance three times faster. Minhyuk’s little childish dream has been fulfilled. But actually his petrified feet press against the floor while he’s praying they don’t head-on into some track. 

Wonho pats his back when they’re saying goodbyes next to the Citadel. Minhyuk sees off the car that took off quickly and then turns round walking on a marble pathway. Bright-green bushes are flourishing around at the height of his knees. The air filled with the scent of cut grass and something sweet from a bakery on the other side of the road. Water drops that haven’t yet dried after the automatic evening irrigation are shimmering on the lawn. Fountain is crowded by children poking little fishes with their fingers. Their parents are sitting on benches and chitchatting enthusiastically. The park in front of the entrance to the Citadel is lively as usual, but not to the extent when it would disturb the overall atmosphere of tranquility. 

The lilac sky is gradually turning into a peach color. The air freshened up considerably. Minhyuk walks inside the park and stops before a huge memorial carved with names. Eyes find two needed signs fast: “Yoon Jeonghan”, “Choi Seungcheol”. He puts his thumb on two notches at the right side of each name one by one and lets a tiny spark of the Energy come out. The notches instantly light up with a soft azure light. Here Hwanungs can pay tribute to those who are no longer with them. Flame fueled by the Energy will last the whole night. 

“You’re early today,” Shownu who quietly approached him from behind tumbles lily of the valley hair making him smile.  
“And so are you. Is everything okay?”  
“Yeah’ I’ve got good news.” 

Shownu takes his hand and they walk to the bench on the other side of the park from where a traditional part of the city can be seen. It’s been year and a half since skin graft, but the sensitivity on his palms is very weak. Doctors don’t have any encouraging predictions and Minhyuk is just happy that he has functioning hands even though fingers don’t move as well as they used to. After all, it could’ve been worse. Life taught him to enjoy what he has and appreciate every moment. 

“So what’s the news?” asks Hwanung when they place food from his backpack on the bench and pour lemonade.  
“The representatives of the other Zones agreed to launch a pilot project of opening the barriers. Not more than five hundred people from every State. The residence time will be limited to a month, but if everything goes well then gradually the quota of people and time will be increased. Maybe in a few years we’ll be able to restore the visa system or create an alternative idea.”  
“Hey, that’s awesome,” Minhyuk’s eyes widen in a funny way when he joyfully waves his sandwich. “So it means Changkyun will be able to go to America and try finding his parents, right?”  
“Yes, I’ll reserve a spot for him for sure. I tried to request data on all the Korean foreigners that couldn’t get back here, but they’re giving negative responds for now. But I heard that Kihyun kinda managed to convince one representative to run Changkyun’s parents information through the local system when he applies there in person.”  
“He’ll be jumping to the rooftop when you tell him. He’s eaten our brains out with that.”  
“That’s understandable.”  
“I’m not blaming him,” Minhyuk shrugs and continues after long peaceful silence. “So, looks like life has been working out pretty well lately, huh?”  
“Yeah,” responds Shownu after a little pause. “Once the riots have died out it got much easier. The Clan Police is working well.”  
“And you started coming back home.”  
“Now there’s no need to be stuck in the Citadel around the clock. And you’re still bringing me food out of habit.”  
“Come on, that’s a nice tradition,” Minhyuk slaps his thigh with the back of his hand. “It’s like we’re on a date.”  
“I promise I’ll take you to Jeju when I have more time,” Shownu softly squeezes his wrist above the edge of the glove that hides scars.  
“I’m fine where I am. I like walking with you and stopping by the supermarket on our way home.”  
“And buying boxes of pomegranate juice.”  
“And buying boxes of pomegranate juice,” agrees Minhyuk laughing quietly. “Shall we go?” 

The last eighteen months have been tough. Breaking something and building it up from a scratch is a laborious, energy-intensive and a compromise demanding process. Coming to agreements in the UNIT hadn’t been easy at first, then it was very difficult, they were on the edge of breaking apart, but eventually they managed to find common ground. It took people a lot of time to believe in what happened. They had refused to accept it being afraid of the level of life getting even lower. Time passed and after they saw that the Hunters had disappeared from the streets and the Citadel had transformed anxiety started to step back in little strides. Bright colors have shined in people’s hearts again. 

Throughout the whole year Minhyuk would go into the hospital, leave it and then come back again. Healing was going slowly and with complications, Shownu, who was tearing apart between the Citadel and the Lair, not being beside him made things worse. The Clan members were on edge as well. Somebody had to help Minhyuk at home, somebody had to help Shownu, somebody had to participate in patrols and clear up the opposition camps. But they’ve pulled it off. Supporting each other and expressing understanding they managed to keep their little family, their trustworthy Clan X. Seven people with shattered past and one dream have become the cornerstone of a huge story. And this story is only just beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this work. Your love and support gave me confidence when I wasn't sure if I should keep on writing it. This story really means a lot to me and I hope it made you feel something good as well. I've been going through tough times last few months not only because of that whole virus situation but also because of my personal problems and this story really helped me distract myself. Thank you once again for taking the time. I tried to do my best translating it (originally I've written it in my native language last year) and I'm pretty sure there are lots of mistakes or sentences that might sound strange since sometimes it's rather hard to keep the exact meaning, so feel free to DM me if you want to correct some of them. Stay safe and remember: even if it feels like the entire world is against you, even it feels like nobody needs you and even if it feels like you'll never find a place you belong to - don't give up and keep going. Simple as that. You don't have to run, you don't have to hurry, just at least move your feet an inch forward at a time. Take a rest if needed. And make another tiny step forward. I know you can do it and you know you can do it. You don't have to choose your final destination right now if you're not sure - let the universe guide you. This world is too big and too fascinating to think that there's no place for you. You haven't even seen half of it yet. There's always something worth fighting for. Just a cup of tea you've never tasted. Just another beautiful sunset that is yet to be born. Just a wonderful song that is yet to be produced. It's all waiting for you. Always. And there's always someone who you are yet to meet who will make you feel special and needed. Be brave and never lose the faith just like Minhyuk. Thank you


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